Simply Part Deux.

Oh, Charlie Sheen...do u remember Hot Shot! Part Deux?

Part Deuce


We said we was gonna write a two-parter on today, so here we go...again.

Miami is a crazy place.  We've said that on more than one occasion and anyone who lives down here already knows that. I was at this spot the other day trying to get some toliet tissue, exfoliating face cream, and some fries...I know that's a mad crazy combination of items but u can get that all under one roof down here in tha MIA.  So I was going down the aisles and I come across this (pictured on our right) marijuana home drug test kit.  I'm like c'mon u got 2 be kidding me right.  I mean...let's all say this together now..."Really?!?!".  I almost bought me a pack it was only a dollar and even though I don't Cheech and Chong, u never know when u might have pull one out...I wonder how many folks actually have one of these joints...I mean kits, sorry that was a Snoop Dogg-ean slip of the tongue...in their crib.  Oh don't u love the MIA...

I saw this girl just blatantly texting and driving on Collins Ave. today.  She had her Blackberry on the wheel, texting and really had none of her sunglassed covered eyes on the road.  Which even though is dangerous, is nothing outta the ordinary...except for the fact that I remember our BB box at tha showroom which clearly states "Please don't text and drive!"  Don't folks read boxes on cell phones?  If they don't read celly boxes then I know they don't take the time out to read the boxes on cereals, or plasma screens tvs or on fla-vor-ice push pops.  I used to Al Capone those grape ones back in tha day!...ok, that was like a totally awkward moment, my neighbor outside just made a sound that sounded like part B-movie actress and half-hyena!  I don't if something was either funny or if she's using animals to get her Stella groove back!  I don't know and I don't even wanna know really...oh, the moans and sounds of South Beach.  But for real, be careful on the road, it's so dangerous.

I was so estastic on the other day when I found out that I've been having this umbilical cord or auxiliary cord in my glove comp...hey, it's the same thing!  They both hook up things considered to be the greatest gifts in life ok...in my glove compartment that has totally changed the game.  Now I can hook up my phone to the radio, and play my music for one...and also, I can make calls through the radio...aw shoot!  Somebody raise the roof, raise the roof!  And we can do it all without buying one of those as seen on TV thing-a-ma-jigs.  Speaking of which, does anyone have that "Perfect Pancake" kit that was put out a few years ago?  A brotha can use that for some flap jacks instead of getting a funnel that u use to put oil in ur car.  I can only use that right outta tha box, cuz after that it can be hazardous to ur health.  Can u imagine me making some p.cakes for some kids while using that!...a kid be like, "Austino...what is this in my pancake?"  "Don't worry about that, that's just some new chocolate chips that came out, trust me u eat a few of these and u'll strike it filthy rich!!"  Oh, man...that's my Texas joke for the month!

But it's wild bro...I was walking today...a lot of stuff happens to us on a daily basis doesn't it?...walking out and about and these two girls approached me while I had my headphones on listening to some B2K and while I was rocking my black I can't see a dag gone thing but u sunglasses on...I totally dislike black sunglasses, I gotta get these Marc Jacobs ones we've been eyeing for some weeks now...but they like broke through all of my artificial boundaries and I'm like ok, this is gonna be a good story to put in the diary...So I cut the tunes down, then took off one of my headphone plugs...and she was like, "excuse me.."...I'm like thinking, "she's French huh...these last few weeks running into all the France girls, finally huh!"  So as I'm about to get ready to partake in this fantasized French Dip Sandwich preferably with the au jour sauce on the side, they may want it on the sandwich, anyway...I'm like, "Yes."...she asks in her Pair-wee voice, "Do's u...knows...wheres...the...at-ple store is?"  And instead of me saying, "It's on 734 Jefferson Ave...." (slapping my forehead, 'stupid, stupid, stupid!!')  I actually tell them it's a few blocks away and they just need to make a right on Lincoln Road.  It was a small pause like do u want something else...but I wait for no ones and we kept it movin' as they hover vacuumed behind us.

I need to learn French...so I need to learn French (which is the language of Love), Spanish (the language of Hialeah) and finally get my Ph. D in Body...If we get that tri-fecta!  It will be crucial or should I say crucialoso.  Boy I really need to get Rosetta Stone!

That's it.  Gotta eat like Checker's say!
Enjoy tha night.
Austino Galaxia.