Man, I'm totally sick of this dude. He's been a thorn in my side for so many years...just fed up with this cat. Really am...Does anybody have his number? What about facebook, u telling me he don't have a facebook account? Twitter?? Freakin' AOL Mail?? I mean, how in the world can I get in contact with him. I feel likes he's been avoiding me since the last incident...u know what, I'm just gonna half to go at this thing, the old school way.
Let me see...do I have any paper in this drawer? Let me see, as I dig in this thing...AT&T bill...ticket from an old Giants/Marlins baseball game...postcard saying Sean Paul was at Cameo last week, why do I always find these things after the party occurred!!?!?...coupon for $20 massage from the Beauty Schools of America, let me put that in my pocket...but, ok, there we go, found some paper. Now I need a pen...Smash!...sorry, I just knocked over some of my mail, from today....Why does Citibank send u a bank statement in the mail knowing it's not real time, it just makes u depressed. The statement says $1,100 and think u think, man I got like $20 in there right now... make that $10 since they just deducted my debit card fee as I'm writing this...uggghh!!! Ok, found one. Always go with black ink...does this thing work..."scribble, scribble..."...man, c'mon ink, let me try again..."scribble, scribble"...ok, there we go, now, how do I begin this thing, no introductions needed, he knows my handwriting, so let's just jump into it:
Hey, you remember me...don't run now, I'm writing this directly to you, cause I gotta get some major things off my chest. And u're gonna listen to me whether u want to or not. For the last 15 years, wait...when did Michael Jackson kiss Lisa Marie?...one, two...ok, the last 17 years, I have pumped u up and told the world how awesome you are, but u've done me wrong, bro. Totally---Not Cool!...Yeah, u've teased me a few times...by why have u ignored my presence while treating the rest of the world like kings and queens. Oh...Oh...you don't believe me, well has Clair Huxtable would say, "Let the records show."...
Remember that one summer while working at the beach. I kept seeing this one girl in that red car. Beautiful blond and pepper hair. Rocking a unbelievable tan, and having a flawless face that made me smile. Uh-huh! So that one day, u remember it, I asked to stop so I could talk her. She obliged...so I went over to her, she rolled down her window, and she had her bikini top just busting out at us. I asked her her name and stuff, then she just flat out told me that she was a stripper, and just rolls through my beach before she had to go to work. I distinctively looking up and u had on swimming trunks, eating a walking taco and sipping margarita while giving us the shoulder shrug, with a smile. Why man?
I'm not done...remember being in college, and coming across this beautiful girl. U keep bringing her around us...so one day, she past by our dorm, and with the encouragement of my roommate, we go outside to interact some. One of the cutest dolls, we've ever seen...found out her name was Gabriella. And right as I felt I was gonna get my Robin Thicke on, she hits me with she's gonna be leaving the country in one week, and will be going back to Brazil. All the while I look to my right and u're rocking a Ronaldinho jersey, and u dipped out in ur red Maserati with a license plate that says "143", and a video vixen in ur passenger seat. Dude...
Still not done so many times u've played games with me man...from the time that one girl tried to touch my butt outside the club...or when I didn't go to my senior prom, and u had the nerve to actually call me at home that night, basically drunk off of some funky red punch, partying it up...and I just remember hearing this song banging in the background, I almost cried....Or how about u texting me during a phone call when ANOTHER ONE of my boys calls to tell me they are getting married. U text me something like, "amor plus u = neva...lol." Crazy...
So I have a real, legitimate beef wit u little guy. I have all these episodes with the most beautiful women walking the earth only to find that nothing's been real, and only to turn on the TV to find you doing the dougie at a parade of wedding receptions being filmed by the E! Network. One time u actually gave me a toast, wearing your red tux...after talking about the wedding couple I remember u pausing and ended it with a "By the way..." censored blur over ur mouth, then a "you Austin!" I took that one personal, cuz u rubbing it in my face now.
I know you're running from me, cuz I've looked for you all around South Beach, and have yet to find you. Folks say he's at the beach...naw, naw Lincoln Road...they spot you at Flamingo Park, then when I go to find you, nada...But guess what, shorty, I'm determined to do this thang with or without your help. If u've read my diary this month, I've only mentioned you named "once". Ha ha! How does that feel, and this whole month is supposed to be dedicated to what you do best, right? Take that, take that...
I'm feeling good right now. I can't let what u've done to me in the past affect me any longer. Have u hurt me? Yeah. Have a cried a time or two? Definitely. Sure, I've held my pillow at night wishing it was an Hawaiian Tropic girl instead, but u know what u've made me better and stronger. The thing that gets me is that we were once so close. Like Dash and Jigga...Bruce and Alfred...like William Hung and American Idol...we ran the world. And now, because of how u dissed me, I'm determined to take over the Galaxia now. And someday we will, and just remember it would all be because of you! You!!!
I'm done. Hopefully, the point has been made. Just know, before I let u go, I know what true love is all about. I know what I want. Now my soldier doesn't stand at attention just for any nation's anthem. I appreciate things better. Know what's sexy is which is diverse at its core. It could be girls who were glasses to those who keep intimate blogs to those who workout to those who have a positive spirit to those who actually call u back to those who love to dance to those who love the Lakers or Heat to those who rock the hottest fashion even to those who don't even wear any makeup...see I thought I knew, but now after your antics...I Know.
And for that...I guess, as much as I hate to say this...(Huge blow!!!)
I guess it's only right for me to say...
Thank you...Cupid.
Sincerely,
Austino Galaxia.
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