A Fastlane's Rain.

Remember this TV Show...Fastlane?

Man...talking about our life getting weirder by the moment...ok, I'm on Amazon.com, checking out all these albums...oops!  Cds, that we are looking for to complete our collection...u know what let me just list what and who I'm looking for and am gonna get here soon, cuz...just cuz (How many of these do u have?):

-N*E*R*D: Nothing
- Wham! :  Their first album...don't laugh!  We ain't messing around...this is DJ fullfillment stuff!
- Brandy : Full Moon and Brandy 
- Lady Gaga : Born This Way
- Jon B. : Comfortable Swagg (Can't find my boy anywhere.)
- Jesse Powell : Jesse (Slept On!)
- Lorenzo Owens : After The Show and Encore
- Ginuwine : Elgin
- Candy Dulfur :  Her latest CDs are so tough to find in the states.
- Jamiroquai :  Even more difficult to find stateside.
- Ne-Yo : Libra (Surprisingly don't have that one)
- Bobby Valentino aka Bobby V. : Fly on the Wall and Bobby Valentino
- Janet Jackson : Janet Remixed (I don't have that one from '95...my girl there!)
- Marques Houston : Mattress Music (Very rare, and he title says it all!)
- Pitbull :  Planet Pit
- Jennifer Lopez : Love?
- Common :  The Dreamer, The Believer
- Kylie Minogue:  Aphrodite and Ultimate Kylie and Light Years
- The Gorrilaz :  Don't have full albums by them

Others we'll scoop up are:  Gloria Estefan's Little Miss Havana and Madonna's MDNA.   So as u can o' corn see, this is a pure music lover, DJ list.  I love music so much, its such a biography in our lives.  You hear a song and u smile and think of that person who u were digging at that time, or a song that brings back a memory... I know when my Grandfather past away a few years ago, during his burial, and as the shots were being fired by the veterans of the military the only song that ran through my mind was this.  Who can I talk to now??

But a surprise came up as I was on Amazon...u not gonna believe this one...

I was checking out some stuff.  I really like the King of Pop, Michael Jackson and have just about everything he officially released...all except the soundtrack to E.T., which I heard he did.  Sure my Pops has that on album at tha crib.  If u could only see the collection of albums and cds and 45's (not guns mind u!!).  IT'S SERIOUS!!! So I was looking up to see if Mike had any other albums I didn't have or remix cds...nothing.  So I type in to see if anyone was selling this remix cd of Michael Jackson's Dangerous album, that we found for like $5 or less about 3 years ago or so...Mannn.....

Ok....four...yes, we said ...FOUR people are selling it.  Any guesses on the price???  Going once...twice...not sold!  Let's just say they are selling a used copy of this CD beginning at the low price of  $274.99 !!  Yes, used.  Brand new, they asking for $349...flat!! Check it out. Now, we had no idea of the value of this CD...but evidently this is an out of print (oh, either a music lovers favorite or least favorite words to hear!)  CD, that was limited edition, and only release in Japanese Market.  Those three strikes make it, in our opinion, the most saught after CD from Mr. Moonwalker himself...without a doubt!  And we are blessed to have it in our IKEA crate to my right down below.  Reminds me of that Jay Z Grey Album which Danger Mouse mashed up with beats from The Beatles.  That CD is like impossible to find.  Perhaps we'll be talking about these two extinct classics down the line as our foreparents talk about live recordings of Frank Sinatra or Elvis or Miles Davis....Super Kool!!

Still not done talking about our day...so after working out today, we came out of The Perry South Beach to find it raining outside.  So I waited underneath the property's overhang, and what I saw was nothing but South Beach at it's purest form...I just put on Miss Estefan's Greatest Hits to put me in tha mood to write about this wackiness!!

I had to keep notes on my Whiteberry Torch, just because it was too much....So I'm at the corner of 23rd and Collins watching the rain Sierra Mist on our newly paved, tourism spent dollars, roads...

As I walk out I first see this woman, standing in tha rain on the curve of Collins, seemingly attempting to catch a taxi.  But no one, I mean NO ONE would stop for her.  I'm like, I wonder if I gotta call Rev. Al Sharpton in to gather a protest over this travesty!  But that ain't the kicker y'all...the Brangelina announcement about this story is that the woman...I'm not lying...was holding a cake in her hand which looked like it came from Publix!  U know the kind with white froasting  everywhere and the words "I Love You ----" on it.  The cake was on sale so u cut the words out of the other person's name, and u give the supposedly rectangle cake to ur love...which the cake now resembles a albino Pac-Man character!  What the heck, right!!  Man, I make a great boyfriend don't I??!! But the rain was just tap dancing on the plastic cover of this cake, and shorty didn't move or anything.  Just maddness...I kept hearing "Hey!", then followed by a screeching of tires speeding by...it's funny, yet it's not!  She finally caught a cab.

What else...tell me...what else?  Ok.  These two boys were skateboarding back and forth right next to me.  One of the boys has his Bieber/Beatles hair cut going on.  The little guy couldn't be more than 7, glancing our way as he was enjoying life, the other one was older but sagging his pants as he was kick and pushing back and forth.  Rich kids don't sag in their clothes do they??  Had the old school Nike's on...the first one had those European  Royal Blue Nike Cortez's on, which connected us too, because I was rocking the red ones.  Kids just having fun...saw this future beach girl rockin' the D Wade Black Heat jersey while on her bike.  Another sight was this BOY like 11 years of time on this earth, literally standing on the curve, while the rain was coming down, not caring while wearing his black tee shirt that said Armani Jeans on the shoulder in white letters.  That shirt, had to be like $75 plus...folks don't care anymore.  Or should I say, rain and Miami folk is a weird mix.  Period.

Headphones are back y'all, not those buds I even put in my ear as I talk sans the hands...But those Steve Bartman block out everything including ur Mama (No offense Moms!) headphones that were popular in the 80s, are popular once again.  What else...this model looking chica was rockin' a nice BCBG type of dress, but I noticed her kicks...the were these black and white high top sneakers.  She jumped into a taxi that "honked" behind her, I almost ask those girls, "Can I get a ride?  I'll make u a celebrity, I promise!!"  I better be quiet or I ain't gonna have any lines to use this weekend!!

I love South Beach fashion, u just have to live over here to spot it...the Pink Rain Boots this baby doll was rockin'...the guy had this Varsity Blues Blue and White trucker hat on, turned backwards, and the words on it simply said, "If u like 2 party, then U'll like Me"!  Love it, shoulda Hugh Jackman'd him for it!  Describes us so much...there I go again...ugghh...But the fashion statement, of fashion statements...I should said something to this girl who walked by with her friend rockin this huge black widow beach had, while wearing her covering to cover her black swimsuit.  A cutie with that Jersey gal tanned skin, kinda mini-plus sized (u know what I'm talking about, that's why u smiling!!), I shoulda, especially when she gave that glance...Oh well!...

But the sight of all sights was this guy riding his bicycle by me, in tha rain...all the while wearing a Whole Foods brown paper bag, on his head, and upside down to boot!  And the thing was this dude had his hat folded in the form of a boxed Pirate cap!  U cannot even make this stuff up!  I thought seeing this cat walking around the 'hood with a yellow Lay's potato chip bag on his head was wild...but this Captain Ahab character was just smiling in the rain as he glided by...Only in South Beach...

After all that I began to walk home.  On Lincoln Road, there was a tee-shirt in the window that stated "Single & DTF" on it.  If u have to ask, u don't need to know what that all means.  I should get one with my address on the back of it!  That'll be wild, I already have the camera set up in my room (I actually do all joke aside!) almost like Ice-T's on MTV Cribs just minus the tripod.  Shhh, don't tell.... (Ok, there's waaay too many secrets being reveled tonight...)....

So after that, I'm near Miami Beach Community Church where I see this dog, wearing what looks like to me to be a blue car tire around his neck!! Not joking...I get closer and it looks like a sleep pillow u take with u on a plane that wraps around ur neck!..."Awk-ward!!"....Guess I'll let that slide....what I won't let slide is the fact that this cha wow wow or pit bull or McGriff the Crime dog looking animal had his mouth...I'm so honest when I say this...the Scooby Doo had his mouth wrapped around with black ducktape just like he was part of a crime and the criminals got him!  U know what I think...this little Lassie was dog-napped by these foreign Mob guys, they took him to Lincoln Road to scope the joint out, they Dogtaped him up, just in case he wanted to give a werewolf howl on this Friday the 13th, and then on top of that to make him in-cog-need and normal, they threw this Firestone tire/ Salami maker around his neck that the found next to a Miami News Times stand...all to make this pup fit in!  See u got to get inside the head of the criminal...I knew those episodes of watching Matlock would soon pay off!

As u can tell, another wild day in tha day and life of Austino....we just having fun, and seeing what else is gonna be worthy to speak upon...Our life is a movie, really and truly is.

Now do u believe when I say it's a blockbuster ?!!!

Austino Galaxia.