Want my cake and...

Can I want my cake and eat it too?

A very, how should I say...thought provoking day.  Woke up early this morning, and for the first time in awhile my body was magnetized to the bed.  I really didn't feel like getting up.  I think a lot had to do with the workout I had on yesterday.  Very intense stuff.  Went to bed late too, all of it equaled a day that I was fighting to stay mentally in the game. Have days like that.  Chalk it up and move on.

Real quick.  Listening to Whitney Houston's I'm Your Baby Tonight album on my way home from work.  Good stuff.  The song, "Lover for Life", hit me big time.  The words are so relative to our journey, "you heard my testimony, you've seen my evidence...and justice would be served..." Whew!!! I can just run or roll on the floor a few times cuz I know she's right.  What else can you do?  Just a beautiful song.  Then after that popped in Gwen Stefani's The Sweet Escape, and that title track, took me to even another level.  Just a classic chill jam on a very good album.  (Am I old for calling it an album?!)  Just saw a great documentary on the group The Time.  They were big, back in the day.  Them 80s were something weren't they.  Seems like I keep on talking about that era, but everything leads back to it.  Golden days.

Reading some great articles.  If you like working out and the Big 3 of the Miami Heat, you should read this... OMG!, Nelly Furtado's "Say It Right" song, so..so...many memories with that.  Man...But yeah, it's all about revolutionizing yourself.  Physically, mentally, spiritually.  "It's time", as my homegirl once spoke about in a speech.  It really is.

All throughout this afternoon, I was thinking about this issue.  We have heard the frase (yes, with an f ) of how somebody "wants their cake and eat it too".   Which after a quick research, was derived in the early 16th century.  But it got me to thinking, "Why do  I want something that I know I can't have?!" Humm...or better yet what if you know you can have it, yet it might not be for you?  This is something many of us go through on a daily basis.  It can be something as small as taking an extra slice of cake when one is you dietary limit all the way up to stealing a car or a man.  Is it the thrill, is it ego, or is it just life's crazy games that you have to play. I'm really dealing with a thang right now, and you have to forgive me but I can't get into due to the parties involved.  The timing still isn't right and if I say something now, as my Grandpa said during '04, "it'll never be the same."  So I'll try to write this gingerly...some guys and girls just live off of breaking up relationships and stuff.  I've heard some guys say, the moment they put on that wedding ring, girls come out of the woodworks throwing themselves at them and stuff. Let me break up this paragraph.

...throwing themselves at cats.  I'm not married so I can't give first hand stories on it (wow, that's a first!)  But what is it about that?  I've been tempted to throw our name in a few hats, even though the person of interest was involved with somebody.  Ms. Badu, was strong and said...why don't u see for urself what she said.  Everybody's not like that.  And what happens if that other person is diggin you...should u say something?  Or if that person's mate is treating him/her like crap.  Should u whisper in that person's ear, to let them know there are other options our there, and they deserve better?  Maybe they need 2 hear that...I really don't want to keep telling stories, especially when it comes to my personal life and the ladies, but God...G-O-D had exposed us to so many real issues, such as this, I guess I have to tell.  Sometimes I feel like it puts me out here as some kind of playboy or something....not really.  I guess a lot of interactions and...no need to explain.  If people don't like it, stop reading this.  I tell truths.  Here we go again:

I used to talk to this girl at this one place.  And I got to know this one girl or woman.  She was very unique.  Mad open with us, spitting a "How u doin'?!!" in a 'sista' type of voice.  Did I find her attractive...who wouldn't.  This female had a mature presence about her.  South American born, unique blue eyes, blond/black   peppered hair.  Then she had a nice build like she takes care of herself, but more importantly a mad...mad cool chick.  So as I kept coming in contact with her, she would give me a look like, she halfway ignored us, but knew when I was in the house. But we would talk. Small chatter...this and that.  I'm gonna make this story short... so one day as we was chatting, I simply said, "------ , I want to ask u a question, and you can choose to answer it or not?"  She said, "Ok."  So I ask her, "Do you have a boyfriend?"  She then gave this drawn out, "Yesssss, I have a boyfriend."  But then she got loose on us, telling us about her family, kids, giving a sarcastic, "What really is love?"  And how her and her man, been dating for a while...marriage is nothing but a piece of paper type talk.  As she was talking, I got the since that she wasn't really happy with her situation.  She vented on us some.  But we were both cool.  A mature convo.

I noticed one thing after that talk.  Her style of dress changed.  I promise u, I'm not making this stuff up.  One thing, I noticed before "the talk" was that for her being a super attractive bonita, she really only wore like two or three outfits.  Now she wore the "heck out of them" when she did rock 'em.  But now, like the next day, she wore something new.  I see here again, and I'm like, "ok"...then next time, I'm like, "this baby girl has switched up her game."  Now she wearing sexy colors, and prints.  Her true beauty was being showcased in a classy way.  Now, there is no doubt in my mind that our convo had something to do with that.  I think that, how she was talking, and body language she was conveying, even though she was in a relationship, she needed to hear that someone had an interest in her (which I did, she knew).  Now, we still cool to this day, I can go out 2nite and be like,  "what's up".  It's a kosher relationship.  Its amazing to feel appreciated and recognized.  A woman needs to hear that as well.  From a guy's perspective its who and when and if you should say something.  Most of the time u should.

Especially if that person is feeling you.  All of these stories I have about love and stuff are unique.  I just don't go around interacting with anybody.  I love people who love to enjoy life, have fun, take care of themselves mentally, spiritually and physically.  That's important because many a times, once a person finds the "love of their life" they stop doing the things that the other person found attractive in the first place.  If your mate loves it when u snort when u laugh, don't stop just because you're together.  Real talk.  I don't like that bro...Don't change...at least not like that, improve don't decline...

Which brings us to our mindset on this 'cake' thing.  My Pops once told me a long time ago, that, "I'm gonna be hard to please."  Never forgot that.  I wonder am I host of complexities...especially about who I date and stuff.  She has to watch what she eats, but can't be afraid to get her grub on, either.  She had to be super fashion conscientious yet she gotta look good in a cami and pair of sweats.  She has to have a strong love for the Lord yet she also has to be one of the biggest party animals around.  All of this is so true when it comes to us.  I have a simple yet...let's all say it together, complex type of lifestyle.

I compare my life to the Yankees in baseball.  You're a major league ballplayer, and then you're a Yankee.  The Yankee way.  Now the Yankees have the most money to give, all the heritage and tradition, and there are certain ways you have to carry yourself in that uniform.  From being near clean shaving at all times to wearing a suit to the games.  Also, the Yankees are used to "star power" so you can leave your ego at the door, because the franchise has seen the creme de la creme.  There's nothing like playing under the grand stage.  Now, everybody isn't built for it.  The pressure that can make u or break u can be too much for some.  Some don't want that spotlight on them.  We don't set the standard, we are the standard.    If u take care of business on the field, we'll take care of you off, and the world would be yours.  I really like this analogy cuz it's so true.  It took me...this isn't nothing personal, just how we feel.  The Yankees measure is in championships, its not in divisions won or pennants, its trophies.  I think that is true with us...this is personal...as well.  We measure our self in lasting relationships.  Not in getting numbers.  Those change over time.  Not in getting our freak on with just anybody.  All that is temporary thrills.   Everybody isn't made for having eyes on u constantly wherever u go.  It's different.  Something that cannot be compared with any other teams you have played for in the past.  It's the Yankees.  Love them or hate 'em.  No in between.  Though u may not admit, u dream about putting on that uniform if not for just one game.  Huh.  Just one game...

But I must tell u straight up, as in New York, reality gets thrown out the window, it's like living a dream.  One in which its ok to want your cake and eat it too.  It's expected that you feel the same....It's the Yankee way.

Austino.