Now or Never.

Show Us What U Got.

Interesting moments I am living in right now.  Point blank a lot of aspects in our life have a 'now or never' feel to it.  Realitically, to those who look from the outside, they think that I'm crazy for thinking that.  But deep in my heart, I know that I'm giving this a real 'championship run' to having a fun life.  This evening, I had a small thought like, 'why does EVERYTHING in my life have to be so hard?'  And I have a feeling like, my life is meant to go through all this 'stuff'' no matter what I do, it's like heaven has made up its mind like, he has to go through and withstand all this world has to offer in various situations before things can jump off.  Somebody out here knows what I'm talking about, while others have no idea.  Consider urself fortunate, very fortunate...

You wonder if you've brought some things from urself, you think have I been cursed or something, or is all this just the way of the world.  People really have no idea how difficult it is to be us.  Am I complaining?  Naw...I still have a cool life, but just because it's good doesn't mean it's easy.  In many ways it's quite the opposite.  I think expectations are raised, not only from within, but from God, people its maddening wild.  You are forced to talk or keep company or give a ear when sometimes u just wanna be left alone for just 10 minutes of silence, for real.  Or you are forced to be humble, when inside u wanna be like, I should be the biggest snob in the world.  I can be it u know...in some ways I have the right to be...seemingly that's what get's u the dream life, right?  So why not become it?  For real, give a real reason 2 not just be like so many others...I guess that's when you have to believe in ALL the principals that have been instilled in you since you were born.  Whether from family, friends, coaches, co-workers, preachers, tv shows, everything u've heard, how...

I remember something my Grandpa used to tell me, he used to say, "Everybody gets a chance in life...but it's up to you to decide what you do with it."  I've thought upon that quite a bit, cuz I know I'm waiting for my chance in some areas.  The thing which is the kicker is when you feel like ok, 'I've paid ALL these dues' can't I just fly u know...someone is saying well why don't you?! True, but sometimes u need a little help u know.  Jordan didn't win by himself.  Kobe had Shaq...then Gasol 'nem...Bonds never won one...Jeter had his dream teams...Beckham had help this year...even Tiger had a great caddie...One person can make a difference, yet can't do it alone...

It's ok, if I talk 2nite, b4 I get into whatever I'm gonna get into...Sometimes u wanna be like folks just really don't get it with us...am I an enigma? Probably am...so what!!  I just wanna live life at the highest level possible, is that a sin?  Then I think another thing that has affected us is that I feel like I'm doing what I think is right to be in the right position, but yet still not seeing the results.  It's like working out, u going hard, doing the diet thang, sooner or later u wanna feel a difference.  That difference feeling has been absent...so you know u're doing the right things, going harder than u feel that that 99% and yet nothing is jumping off in the manner u once dreamed, u can't get flustered and frustrated.  Real talk.

But you know another thing that's been weird as everyday has gone into lure...the amount of times I've heard, "Timing was perfect" and "Right time.  Right place."  Its been so insane how many times I've heard that like the elements were talking to me.  Like, 'hang in there'.  Truly weird bro...

Maybe I have to dig even harder...the level is already pretty high, but perhaps God wants us to kick up even a notch higher...got so much motivation.  Just have to push through this...What gets us is that we know how fragile life is.  Its no gurarantee that I'll finish this diary post, let alone the night.  You don't know, so it's always been tomorrow...tomorrow...when is that tomorrow gonna turn into today?  I know without a doubt that I'm close, and our life won't be the same.  Just know it won't be...these days will be over and finally I'll get to say that trophy is a part of our life and not just our mind.  Just to hold on to it...for the moment it's now or never.  I got one more push in me.  You all just pray that one push is all I need.  Cuz in many ways, that's all I got.

Austino.