Friday, December 23, 2011

The Heartbreak Kid.

Wrestler Shawn Michaels
You know today was a day to really just relax mentally after going through so much the last few days.  Just been trying to get our mind together some.  Rode with the top dropped today, it was really kind of warm outside like upper 70s, lower 80s out here in Miami.  Still kinda wild as u think about it, being December and I got my beach look going as I write this.  Like its July.  Amazing when u think about it...

2012 is "going to be your breakthrough year."  Someone just told me that as I was talking on the phone.  And quite honestly I have no idea where that came from.  We were talking about life, holidays, movies, and then that blurped out.  Perhaps it was a sign of things to come.  I feel so much...polished...hold on let me see if I can dig into Jan. 1st's hard copy of my diary to see what was up...hold on as I look......welp, that's interesting.  A few things stick out from that first day of the year:  Lots of talk about girls (surprise!) and how many of them did nothing on New Year's Eve;  one girl who I described as "sick and cool" sticks out, and I totally forgotten about her til we looked up this old entry.  I wrote "We barely see this gal, but when us 2 (with a circle) have been close whe like talks like we're best buds.  It's weird."..."She's older than she looks."..."She's a cute Barbie Doll."  HOLD IT.  I have to elaborate...

This was a mad cool girl.  What was interesting was how we used to talk whenever we saw each other, but there was this vibe.  Her style was a mix of gothic modern, for I remember she wore "Fish net....black panty hose!!"  She had medium black hair, she literally had a doll face.  She was the real deal.  (boy I love keeping diaries!)  But though when we were together it was like Jordan/Pippen, but I did not see her often enough.  She was top notch...now back to the diary scheduled programming...

Another aspect is a quote saying, "Faith is not a gift, It has to be earned, U hav to pass the test."  That came from an episode of New York Undercover on that day.  The entry ended by saying, 'Does it get any better (smiley face inserted) This is gon 2 be good.'  Huh...Has the year unfolded like we expected...not!

This year has been, what is the right word for it... necessary.  Been a ruff year.  It felt like in some ways all of our moves were wrong in some ways.  There have been some great things, but in some areas, man...this year was the year of rejection.  Guys...girls...it seemed like for some UNKNOWN reason God said, u know what Galaxia, for you to reap the true benefits of a life unparalleled, I'm going to really test u and put u through the ringer, have u go through the fire and on top of it, I'm gonna throw the kitchen sink at u as well!  Would I've been up to the challenge if I woulda known.  Boy...good question which we won't ever know the answer too. But it was like, the life that I wanted was in my grasp, but I was unable to touch it...just yet.  Has anyone else ever felt that way.  You see things coming together, the positioning turning your way, and u doing everything know to make it happen, but things don't come together.  Matter of fact they fall apart.  You just like, "Same script...different cast."  Then such and such happens...and u get a little, might as keep it real, more than a little upset at life, God, people, like, "why don't they get it?"  It's like it doesn't make sense?  Have I been blackballed or something.  Just weirdom at its highest form.  I know that ain't no word, but if u've been through similar times in ur life then u know that word exists in our galaxias!!

But a funny thing happened throughout this year...I felt like, I was getting stronger by each experience.  It was like it was fueling my energy to a level I didn't know was possible.  Just in our workouts physically it was and is crazy like, " (fill in the blank) doesn't think I deserve even a response to a simple question, let me show her" or silly stuff...All these things have helped me to grow in every area possible.  I think that's what the Lord wanted for us , and for all who go through breakups, being fired for no reason for gigs, not getting top bill at a show, or whatever the case.  Why does it have to be so hard though?  Does life always have to be so complicated?  I want to tell this one female something, cuz we NEED to talk, but I K-N-O-W that if and Eminem'ing when we do, it could either be the end of a possible friendship or turn into a lost episode of Silk Stalkings!  Not joking.  But sometimes things aren't meant for you, they are just for you to see that its possible!!  I feel like skinny dipping in the Atlantic Ocean off of that!  That's good stuff!!!

I thought a lot about all these sports figures and what they endured before winning their championship.  Knowing that that's what they've always wanted their entire life.  Accolades, money and all that are cool, but sometimes u want "that thang" u know it.  This year has taught me an exuberance amount of patience...and strength to move on.  A woman got slick in the mouth today, and I almost hit her with that, "I don't hit girls, but I do know girls who do" line, but it ain't even worth it.  I understand now more than ever how stress and pressure can get to you.  Some days earlier this year, I didn't even wanna get outta the bed.  Cuz u know that something unfulfilling would jump off.  That wasn't self-prophecy type of thinking, it was just like, "I've had it", and all this stuff happening for unthinkable and indescribable reasons just bites. (they still say that?!!)

The birth of the blog.  Our diary has been so personal for so many years.  The things that we used to write, I wouldn't dream of releasing in the open.  But for some unknown reason, this year turned out to be the right time to release our life to the world.  Wouldn't it have been grand if on the day after our first blog (Apr. 26th) everything woulda just jumped off!  Big money, sexy spouse and all that.  But Heaven knew that this would be a perfect time in our life to release.  Its great to talk personally when u've...u can talk after getting the award-winning recipe...but I and many others want to hear about the sleepless nights in the kitchen when u're trying out all the ingredients to find the perfect mix.  Oregano here, salt there, that's where the action occurs.  Sometimes it takes days...sometimes months before u're like, "perfecto". How u say that in Italian?!! (perfetto)

Many of my diary entries are a little long, but this is me purifying my thoughts...real time.  Let me say this too...I talk a lot about my social experiences.  I have too.  No one is giving a true description of what's going on out here.  I think that's what's missing from life, people telling their story.  If someone could learn from my goofups...ego getting me in trouble or from pain, so be it.  But I have to tell my life, as it happens.  I don't put people out there or what not, but if we can learn, that's why we release our thoughts on cyberspace.  LOT of talk on girls, but if God didn't want me to tell somebody bout it, he wouldn't brought it in our life.

That's it.

Great quote from a twitter friend @eleebob:  Its being confident when the odds are against you that counts.

That's good stuff.  Now I feel the odds are with us...and all this stuff we went through is in the rearview mirror.  I'll take a Year of being the Heartbreak Kid if u can give me a lifetime of being...I guess that's yet to be determined.  But I feel it'll be good...very good.

Austino Galaxia.

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