('You were with me last night! You were with me last night! Come on, now...Listen, I'm tired of you lying to me, alright. U need 2 to just keep it real. This right here...in my tummy, this is you. U da baby daddy! U da baby daddy! So no matter what u think or say, u gonna have to step up and be a man. They done flew me all the way from Texas to be on this show, but guess what, I already know how this gonna go down. And Taniqua ain't gonna be tha one...See, cuz I done seen this alllll go down before. I know u gonna bring out one of them country (Boop!), that u've been sleeping with from behind that blue curtain, and then it's gonna all go down like Basketball Wives. But guess what, I've been in the (Boop!) gym, so bring her out...Look, hold these, here's my cheap earrings u bought....here's my (Boop!) shoes...Bring her out!....Bring her (Boop!)...out! I ain't playing... I'm gonna wup her...')
"Oh Man! What tha...they always interrupt my show (Chomp! Chomp!) right when it's about to get good. (Chomp! Chomp!) Taniqua is just about to put them thangs on this chick when she come out. And now they want to interrupt for some bull. This Miami news scene..."
AUSTINO GALAXIA HAS BEEN ADMITTED TO THA HOSPITAL. THA DIAGONOSIS IS EARLY BUT EVIDENTLY OVER THA LAST FEW HOURS HE HAD SOME KIND OF OVERDOSE. THIS IS NOT BEING RULED A SUICIDE ATTEMPT AS OF RIGHT NOW, BUT WE'VE BEEN FOLLOWING THIS STORY FOR SOME TIME, AND WHAT WE DO KNOW IS THIS...
"Hey, Mama!! (Chomp! Chomp!)....Get Ki-Ki on tha phone...They done said ur boy toy done finally cracked. I knew it...I knew it... (Chomp! Chomp!) They said ur boy done tried to kill himself..."
WELL, THIS IS SHOCKING NEWS TO HEAR. ONCE AGAIN, IF YOU ARE JUST TUNING IN, YOU ARE LOOKING AT A LIVE SCENE OUTSIDE OF MOUNT CLIMB HOSPITAL. AS YOU CAN SEE, A LOT OF NEWS CREWS ARE STARTING TO CONJUG...EXCUSE ME, CONGREGATE OUTSIDE. THERE HAS BEEN A OVERDOSE OF SOME SORT INVOLVING, AUSTINO GALAXIA. THIS IS SURPRISING...JUST LAST NIGHT WE WERE GETTING A LOT OF FEED FROM DIFFERENT TABLOIDS THAT HE WAS OUT AND ABOUT ENJOYING HIMSELF WITH A LARGE GROUP OF FRIENDS, IN CELEBRATION OF ONE OF HIS CALI-GIRL'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS. NOW...24 HOURS LATER, HE FINDS HIMSELF IN THIS CONDITION. WE'LL KEEP YOU UPDATED AS THE NIGHT MOVES ON. ONCE AGAIN, AUSTINO GALAXIA IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION...STAY TUNED. NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.
( ...'(Boop!) I told you to leave my man alone. U just jealous...Just jealous...just because nobody wants to be with your fake, overpriced, trifling...')
'Boy, what did I tell you about watching these shows. U don't need to be watching all this stuff.'
"But Mom..."
(Click.)
'Now boy, what did u call me in here for. What was so important that you needed to yell to me from tha kitchen, I was just about to make me a toasted cheese sandwich and then soak my feet.'
"It's ur boy, Austino Galaxia."
'What about him?'
"He's in tha hospital. They said he like overdosed or something, but personally Mama (Chomp! Chomp!) I think he done tried to kill himself. This guy who u keep telling me is all goody too shoes, Galaxia is just like tha rest of these famous stars, no pun intended. They just lose touch. They get (Chomp! Chomp!), all this mu-lah...All these girls, the fame...He can't handle it. And I even told you Mama, a few years ago, I said right when he had that Telemundo exclusive interview, and I sat in this RIGHT HERE, in this same chair...eating out of this same bowl of popcorn and sugar, that when he said, 'Me Gusta, Mi Latina Mujeres' or something like that, I knew he was threw. Done. Finito. Cuz them Spanish women are crazy, Mama. Once, they put it on you, u gotta leave them alone."
'Boy, please!!! So is that why you sleep with a picture of your Mexican princess every night. Kissing her picture... Boy, she left you 10 years ago, so she could follow Oscar De La Hoya , and u still can't get over it?'
"Ma! Why u gotta go bring that up?! Whatever...besides she was from Mexico City, Ma, not Mexico, there is a difference!"
'Whahh?!...So they think tha Austino Galaxia kid done tried to hang it up huh?'
"Telling you Ma, it got too much.."
'Bring me that book over there, the one written by Galaxia.'
"Which one? This here purple one."
'Yeah, thanks. I remember, him writing something about how, let me see, where is...(Finger lick)...which page was this thang, or what chap..(Finger Lick)...chapter did he, Ok, here it is. See these news folk, they think they know it all, but ur Mama. See, I remember something he wrote in this book, that was published what, 3 months ago, that tells me that everythang is gonna be alright. U want to hear it?'
"Sure, it's been awhile since I've had a bedtime story."
'It might be long, but here we go...
People always ask me why I talk about love and fun so much. Like as if it's all I think about, or crave about in our life. Dude, this is just who I am. Love is my Art. And Fun is my craft. And when u have that passion for something, u just want to do it, all...tha time. It was a great poet, named Amore Skeezy III, who wrote what probably is tha most heartfelt thang that I've ever read, he said:
To have fun,
That is what I do.
To always fly,
That is tha flight of tha cooko.
To sing with joy,
That is simpy too Mariah.
To make it rain,
That is every man's lapdance desire.
To own tha game,
That's like Peyton throwing for seven.
To get a sale on Manolo's,
That would be too much like Heaven.
To toss them back,
That's Stone Cold back in '99.
To find a diamond,
That's more than any shine.
To climb the steps,
That's a Hard Knock Mountaineer.
To live life at 190 mph's,
That tha def of No Fear.
To see that smile,
That's a heart pitter pat's.
To throw life some beads,
That's better than a Tuesday Fat.
To have silence speak,
That's a remix undefined.
To know u have a chance,
That is tha peace of tha mind.
To witness a Dream twerk,
That's bigger than a MTV stage.
To hear 'I want u',
That's a bookmark in ur Sex page.
To walk on tha moon,
That is a I will do.
To kiss tha stars,
That's why my fav hair is Curly Sue.
To be so close,
That emotion is uncontrollable.
To live so open,
That's to walk popping bubbles.
To simply smirk,
That's knowing u how it feels.
To get brain love,
That's best when ur hands never leave tha wheel.
To get VIP,
That is the perk of fame.
To nab a Baller,
That's actually the vision of a dame.
To change you cut,
That's wanting a new look.
To get rid of bad memories,
That is priceless in my book.
To recall a sexy smell,
That brings a soldier's Attent-hut.
To live Halloween, every night,
That's role play...Cleopatra and King Tut.
To know u tha best,
That's how a Miami Girl's body sings.
To be so undeniably sexy,
That she wants to become a Drag King.
To wonder when that's it,
That's a party becoming whack.
To have the ultra life,
That's why tha M.I.A is nicknamed, "City of tha Stacked".
To wish I would stop,
That's just a little too much.
To want just some more,
That is how words can touch.
To hear he's gone,
That is here say undefine.
To hear he gave up,
That is tha ploy of tha media's mind.
To have survived a overdose,
That's becoming tha Galaxy's sexiest thug.
To know u'll do it again,
That's to know that Luv is my ultimate drug.
'And Son, that is why I know that Austino's gonna be ok. Cuz in this book he done said...Son...Son...'
(Ugggggh-whew! Uggggggh-whew! Ugggggh...)
'Why do people always go to sleep whenever I read this guy's stories. Sometime people just don't know what makes a person go. Overdose?? Ha! Little do they know this is part of his plan. How do I know? Because a addict can see other tendencies in other addicts as well. I've been there before, and now look at me. That's why I know, I've been threw it as well...That's why I like him so...See, he's not crazy, nor has he gone bonkers. It's simply, that some things in life u just crave, and u can't do anything about it. And that's especially true when you're... addicted 2 love.'
You Rock!
Austino. Galaxia.
Austino. Galaxia.
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