Naked.

Oh boy.  This is gonna be me to tha max.  Here we go.

Well, as our diary has been setting new standards by tha moment.  As much as I don't wanna do this, I feel tha need to because this is a Live diary of our life.  I know it's filled with crazy stories, and poems and just silliness really, but this post is real...And well, might as well just get into it.



I really didn't think it was possible for one person to have TWO, and u read that correctly, TWO "Worst Nights of Their Life" in ONE DAY.  For real.  I woke up around 2:02 am this morning, and there was a sense that this September day was gonna be one that I may either want to remember, or forget.  If I was a betting man, I probably would've gone 3:1 on tha last one, just because sometimes u just get a feeling.  I couldn't even go back 2 sleep dude.  One moment I was having one of the best dreams of my life, the next I'm popped up in bed wondering what's going on like Marvin Gaye.  Gonna be straight up tonight, so forgive me if my jokes are slender.  And worse of all, I didn't even remember what I was dreaming about.  Did she have black hair, a blonde, a brunette, dude I think I was more upset in not remembering tha dream than actually being up at tha Joey Crack of dawn.  So I laid in bed, and did some research, looked at some old diary posts, and did some social media stalking gently hoping that my fingers wouldn't hit tha heart on Instagram.  I mean, what dork is 'Liking' a photo of a girl in a swimsuit at 3:15am in tha morning?!  Like that's totally creepy!  A real gentleman at least waits until 3:20am...Duh!!!  But real talk, it was horrible.  Never had trouble sleeping like that, or at least in awhile.

Went on with our day.  One person who stands out, is this woman who was at our gym, David Barton, up on Collins Ave.  We got done with our normal, if u wanna call it that, pre-warm up stretch. It's more like a ballerina getting ready for a performance.  It's intense.  But u gotta do whatcha gotta do.  So we do our thang, and get our mind ready for what I already know might be tha toughest workout of tha year.  Just because we've been up since The Grove shut down, this is our third workout in like 6 days.  Which is tough cuz we workout very intense, with A LOT of circuits,  like Bench press immediately to Pushups on Bosu ball immediately to Pull-ups.  Do that several times.  That's just an example, I could tell you more, but that's top secret.  One day I'll break it all down, it's crazy.  So for us to go every other day is a challenge even for us.

But we were walking from upstairs to downstairs to get our 4 lb. ball that we used to do our warm-up, which consists of front and side lunges with tha ball, and 6 sets of Rocky style one-arm push-ups alternating on tha ball.  It's real dude.  As I was getting this ball, this woman with black hair and shapely body was in front of us in this white athletic bra, and bro, as I got closer to tha medicine ball rack, she like jumped into this Chicken dance.  It was like the Spanish version of tha Atlanta Falcons' "Dirty Bird".  With her flapping her wings, I mean arms to tha music that was jumping.  But she like, not kidding, she began after she saw us coming. She was looking at me the whole time.  So u know what I did.  I was about to jump in.  That's what we do, I'll get my dance on in a gym, I don't care.  Here friend was with her, shaking her head, but I was just joking with her, and she was like...It was weird.  This woman doing a chicken dance, and looking at us like that's her way of saying...something I don't know.  These females do so many things to us to get our attention, it's crazy.  I know it can sound like this stuff don't happen, but it does.  A lot.

From there, we pushed through a workout, and came back home.  With things on our mind.  Sometimes, if u haven't noticed, we just I don't know, sometimes we want to see tha fruit of our labor.  I'll leave it at that.  Then we layed down after "a talk", and planned on sleeping or napping for 20 minutes, it became like 40, and we got awoken to a phone call.   Which didn't involved a death per say, but let's just say it lead to some heavy, and I shouldn't even admit this, but some heavy crying...

I know a man ain't supposed to cry, but number one, I'm not a man, in my heart and mind I'm just a Beach Kid.  And Two, I don't care, if things hit you, and if u have an Ego like ours, u gonna cry.  I promise you, and don't nobody forget it, the people who are the most, how shall I say this, those who are very talented, and very successful I guess, have the most sensitive Egos.  They do.  U may not think they cry, or think that something like a bad movie review or not being recognized by fans or at an Awards show doesn't affect them, believe u me...it does.  How do I know?  Cuz sometimes it affects me.  I may not show it in public all tha time, but trust me, there have been so many situations whether involving job interviews or definitely after a girl has done me wrong, when either I've gotten home and just shed a tear because sometimes things just don't make sense when it should be so simple.  Or I've gotten home, and wanted to throw my flat-screen through tha wall, just because somebody thinks they are better than us, or are the real movers and shakers in this world, when they aren't.  Take that back, they may be, but we have our own Galaxy, so now what!!!  We have a memory like Horton, and we use everythang possible from a non-spoken "Hello" to a denial to a simple convo or 'hang out'.  I've been blessed with a lot of things, and I NEED something, or anything to take us to tha next level.  I do.

Wow, that's too much info into our way of thinking.  Shouldn't let nobody in like that, but, whatever...So I thank God for real, for my Pops and Moms.  Mean, I cried for like an hour straight.  Please nobody tell anybody this.  Keep this between only those who read this diary present or future. Please.  But I couldn't even talk, just so many emotions of our life.  Our folks really helped us.  Pops talked to us about our life, and love life that can be complex, and how sometimes everything is working in your way.  Just sometimes u can do what u think is right morally or in ur spirit, but then like it can come back, and u think that tha sky is falling like Chicken Little, when it doesn't work out like u thought.  Never seen that much, sorry for tha wording but snot coming outta our nose.  Didn't think it even existed like that.  Maybe I should cry more often when I got tha flu.  But just a draining....draining night.  I haven't even watched TV in like two days.  It's been a trip.

Just because u have those moments doesn't mean that tomorrow isn't gonna be a super special day.  U know.  Mean tonight I could be crying, then tomorrow u could be Living it up.  J. Rule guess it's your night, Case help him sing  my 2002 party anthem!  So we push on.  We've been saying that the toughest night leads to tha best morning, so I guess it's time to put that into practice.  We gonna keep going as our Folks told us to, and see what's about to happen.

That's it, gotta put this night to bed.  It's 11:14 pm, and I'm just now finishing up eating, still got to take a shower, I guess I will.  Just remember, no matter how many tears u cry or how rough tha road gets.  Keep going.  Lately, even I have felt like it just ain't worth it, and we haven't "Gotten Ours", but perhaps it's just a step along tha way.  To see how dedicated u really are to tha game. That's fine.  So I'm not gonna grab me a bottle of 'Yac to finish off this night.  I'm gonna just get a few minutes of peace.  Matter of fact there is only one song that I can play, and I guess it describes this entire post.

Like MH, u've gotten the true me...Or as he would say...I've come to you absolutely and totally...

Naked.


Luv ya!
And once again...2night's our little secret!  Shhhsh!
Austino with a star over the 'I'.