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| Batman's Favorite Villian...The Joker. |
It's been a few days cents we've had a chance to write some. Part has been rest...part has literally been a lack of time. I guess our life has been so "Hollywood" and "South Beach" that when u basically have only 45 minutes to do what u have to do in a night, and u haven't eaten yet...well, u get tha drift. As they say at Checkers, "U gotta Eat", so that's why it's been such a spell in between our posts. Our life is filled with so many memorable moments and people, many of which we don't even know, dude. Like strangers who come into our life so I have to tell the stories, that will one day make up the finest diary one has ever come accross. There's no doubt that we feel like our life is one of a kind, and as of late, we're getting more confirmation of it. So let the FUN begin! (Today's gonna be good believe me on that!)
Ok. So the other night I go to the future world famous laundromat located on 6th and Meridian, here in South Beach...one day, I promise u they will mark this corner as the spot we once stood, just like The Rat Pack at the Sahara in Vegas, but if u've been reading our diary, this is literally, unequivocally (Yes! I got it on the first try!!), the best spot to get the real South Beach. Where u see it ALL...I promise u, I'm not lying...so I just got done putting my clothes in the dryer and decide to step out into the night air to check out tha scene on this sexy evening. So I'm like outside wondering why all the Miami New Times newspapers were pulled from every newsstand after being released earlier, and this gentleman comes up to us. "What's up Brotha?!!" I responded, with our patented, "What's Up, What's Up, bro!" ....wait, hold on, I need a new paragraph...
I look and the gent is super tan with a beard, rocking an American Apparel-like super long white tank top straight from the '10 summer season...he's "banging" his some shorts out his backpack, onto the wall of the L-Mat..."Swap.....Swap!" was the noise I kept hearing, I was paying attention, but wasn't as I was now thinking about how the smell of the air reminds me of some memorable times and nights at the beach...and then he's states, "...so much sand." I said, "Yeah, u at the beach, huh?" He says he was, and then he continues...."I'm homeless bro." Not the first time we've met some1 without a home, I mean we all are susceptible to it. He then begins to talk about...."U hear about that guy..." Now, who hasn't heard about this story about the man-eating episode last weekend. This is totally off the record, but it hit us just yesterday after seeing the gents picture that, the guy with the beard, we actually may have seen everyday. Matter of fact I'm confident, I have. He used to walk up and down the A1A, right near where u can see the Port of Miami, and accross from Palm and Star Islands...if u live or go to the beach u know that's a long walk from the mainland to Fantasy Beach, but I used to see the guy and wonder, "I see him every single day, at the same time it seems, this is odd." I 'm not making this up, I guess u never know who u might pass on a daily basis, and not give them a second look.
So the guy we met begins to say how he's now gotta be safe where he sleeps. Talks about the Baywatch police we have down here in South Beach, and how they are actually pretty cool about not messing with the homeless compared to other cities around the country. He says it's do to the fact that they "don't want to do the paperwork", which is funny really, but maybe true. (I actually saw...naw, I can't say that cuz I don't wanna become public enemy number 1 down here...) After some initial hesitation, my guy was now on his "A" game and we were a listening pawn, and I was being convo checkmated by someone unique...someone who self-proclaims himself to be the "King of the Bums." Oh boy...
My clothes were near timing out, but I know a moment in life, when I see one, and this was turning out to be one of those Kodak moments that u just have to max out like a 250 pound bench press. My guy left no stone unturned...he continued, by talking about some episodes from Mexico. (He's of Mexican heritage) One time a guy romancing women and then killing them and cutting up their body parts and cooking them. Like Ew!...even when the cops came to arrest them, he had a body part in the microwave. I mean u can't even make this stuff up....And then, he told of another episode, where a woman would get guys and do them in, and make tacos and sell them with the dudes...I'm thinking inside, "What am I hearing?" Just pure madness, but surprisingly I didn't cover my eyes or ears as I do sometimes when I watch a episode of House, I was cool as a penguin in a tux, and continued to listen...
I been really serious as of late that a goal of ours would be to do something, just something about homelessness here in Miami, specifically here in South Beach, so this was a free opp sent 2 us, 2 here some things from the perspective within. This guy though...so he went on to talk about how "his people" spend their money. He says it's not cool when u're drinking a beer at 9 am in the morning, when u only have a few bucks anyway. He tells me how he makes a living. He says he...hold on, I'm feeling this old Summertime classic right now! Check it out.....says, he actually works on the beach. My guy tells me how he finds so much money and items through the weeds that roll up on the sands of the beach. He told me that he found $100 the other day! (Maybe I'm in the wrong bizness!) Tells of how some others who are homeless, don't take care of themselves, even though there's a free shower facet on the beach. Personally, I try not to look when I pass and see a girl using it on the beach boardwalk...ok, ok, I cover my eyes up and make a "Dr. Spock" symbol as I peek through my fingers! (J/K)...
The stories kept on rolling....telling us of how he believes in God, and how God takes care of u. The guy was talking about being homeless "by choice"...how some people have put him in their care but expected some outlandish things...a guy putting him up in his house, but getting belligerent after he began drinking...Oops! I'm sorry here's the definition.... another time, a woman putting him up in her home, and next thing he knew it, she showed up to his room's door demanding him to put his candy bar in her ice cream...it must've not been of Blue Bell variety, cuz he dipped ...I'm talking about he left the house, duh!! (Gosh, some people just have some freaky minds!!) He told me of his personal story...
He then got personal like a Heat and C's playoff series (2-1 Heat still up.), and began to talk about his personal journey here to Miami. Asked where we were from, as if he knew we weren't from The Sunshine State. Told him, "Indiana" and then he began to tell of his life from North Cakalackie to Texas. ("El Paso, Texas Sucks!") He stated he "Luv's Miami"...a lot because of the women. He says he used to have to pay to go to Hooters to see females, now they pay him to clean tha beach. Then he continues...this was a heck of a 25 minute conversation, wasn't it?!!...he talks about girls. This should be interesting....
"I got laid" last night, was a comment he made as he told of his love escapades. U know I tell of some wild stories involving the opposite sex and our love life. This guy was off the charts as well. Telling how many girls he's met on the beach. Meeting a girl who said she's was a lesbian, and his response was, "That's great! We have sumthin' in common cuz I'm a lesbian too!" He claim an Ron Jeremy episode occurred. Then him finding this other girl who had "a ugly face, but the body was...". Or him having a girl who was bi-polar and moving in with him..but the next thing he knew it, she claimed he had a gun collection that was only rivaled by my guy T.I., and he said the S.W.A.T team came in with "the only thing missing was the helicoptor!!" It was incredible the stories he was relaying to a romantic as myself...a guy walked by, seemingly underdress according to "The King's Standards" and he wondered why he had on this shirt when he told me of the thrift store Out of the Closet , which was interesting cuz I actually haven't visited it, but I like finding hidden gem places. He said he could find a polo shirt for like $2, but the passing gent is dressed like that. I thought I was talking to Michael Kors for a minute!
One last story...he said, he found a gold chain at that store, a thick one, and took it to somebody and the bought it from him for $800. So what did he do with the money, u ask? This guy, said he took the cash and checked in to the Ritz-Carlton for 3 nights with some money left over, and live literally like a don! I'm shaking my head cuz our life is so unique, and...just good stuff, real good stuff!
I won't share his name, but I learned a lot. From how it really is to be homeless to if this guy can supposedly interact with some girls, anybody can to "love urself" (He told me that.) all the way to this beach mosquitoes are as aggressive as a guy looking for a date at the club after he hears 'last song'. I'm a guy who needs to continue to be pushed sometimes, I'm not lazy by any terms just the opposite...sometimes we all need things or people to wake u up and push a little bit further. This guy was timely. Sometimes I feel like I got it all, yet have nothing...but I love meeting new people and seeing new experiences. I thirst for that constantly. The best times in life are the ones u don't expect...like finding a pair of shoes on sale at a boutique or going to a sports game finding that ur seats are actually pretty good for the price... It makes u feel special, and sometimes that can carry you.
We gonna tell as much as we can in our diary. Sometimes the posts are long. But u can't put a time (or word) limit on fun. Just think if u were on a date and u had only 100 words to make the night memorable that would be krazy! What would u say? "I love you?" or "Let's skip the dinner..." I know I wouldn't waste them talking about the weather pally! Live, have fun, and love...simple right.
Til next time.
Austino Galaxia.
Aka...The "King of Fun".
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