What They Really Want!!

What Women Want (2000)...I wonder!

Ok...this is straight off the press!  I was having one of those, how can I say this..."What's life all about" type of moments...when this just jumped off...another mini-episode....

So this afternoon, I had a chance to get a workout in mid afternoon style at one of our "2nd homes", the David Barton Gym located up at the Gannesvo...I'm sorry, located at the now Perry South Beach property up on like 23rd and Collins down here in South Beach.  Speaking of which, shorty bee hop gave my two passes for a free 20-day membership at the gym.  Since DBGym is celebrating their 20th year anniversary, they dishing out a gift or two, this is one of them.  So if anyone wants to try out the gym (Which is pretty cool...) for free, for 20 days, just give me a holla and u got it...today, was cool, but we were struggling a little bit 2 get through our workout.  Seemingly there's always some kind of fuel, from a future goal to I don't know, to somebody disrespecting me earlier in the day, or a girl dissing us in some kind of way...u'll be super amazed at what we use and need to get us through...especially our workouts, which are really intense, I don't people really understand.

They aren't easy, and they are really tailored to how we want to be physically...which is...we want to be able to play "a full 48" per se, meaning that we want to be in shape to survive a full game in the NBA.  Not kidding!  We also...I'm telling so many secrets right now, but it's our diary so...we also want to have abs like my guy David Beckham, want to be lean yet defined like Kobe Bryant...there's a lot of "thought"...we a beach guy, so we want to have a beach guy type of look...I sound so Miami right now don't eye?!!  But down here, it's just different.  I do things and work out just to stay in the best shape possible and of course, look legit...I know some people take it over the top like they're on an episode of MTV's True Life or something.  Do u wanna present tha best you?  Of course, but I believe u have to put the work in...so I don't know if I should...ok, let me back up some...when I first got into the locker room at the fitness version of the Taj Mahal (If u've been inside u know what I'm talking about) I get my usual towels and stuff.  I'm such a snob when it comes to having towels or lockers.  While playing hoops in college, I just had to have 2 lockers, not one a la Barry Bonds style, just without the reclining chair!  So I sit down and put my Nike sack down and stuff, and I notice this guy like getting dress and then sitting right on the bench behind us. I feel the Vibe magazine he was giving and knew he was like watching us get undress...

Now, eye really don't care, cuz we've been through some stuff on that tip...we already wrote about the Italian guy reaching for my lips to basically give me a kiss...in the freaking library down here in South Beach for goodness sakes!!  And it wasn't even in the back near the DVD section or at least in the back near tha kids area...then again, maybe that's not a good spot.  But old Don Juan was trying to work his Tuesday night at Twist lines on me right smack dap when u walk into the permanent bookmobile!  We was cool, but jeez...And then one time I was walking home down here in South Beach, and happen to take a mini-rock-paper-scissors route through Flamingo Park.  Somehow, someway, this dude like spotted us, in tha dark mind u.  And wanted to chit chat and stuff, and the aura that was resonating  in the air was that he wanted to see my magic stick, while I wanted to just tell him, "Dude, I like females, women, chicks, bushes, pus..." let me stop...but u get tha point.  So I begin to walk home on Jefferson, and this guy pulls a stunt straight out of Spy Kids and begins to follow me home to tha crib on Jefferson Ave.  I'm like looking back in a sly way and he's blending in with tree shadows and junk, but yet still on tha hunt.  So now I know how it feels to be an attractive girl walking with guys scoping them out.  Now my first instinct is how can I change my route so he doesn't know where I live.  This is all true y'all, I ain't makin' this up...so I then make a quick dip around where I actually live, I must've seen it on an old episode of DuckTales,  and I look and he like is looking at me, but then keeps going cuz he sees that eye see him.  I double dutch back to my crib, just hoping he ain't waiting for me with a whip and wearing a lucha libre mask!  It was a crazy night.

Getting back to today, I'm was in one of those moods where I just didn't care what he saw as I got undress. Like I said, we got nuthin' 2 hide, and I'm used to walking around naked with nothing but a towel on through a room full of pretty girls, so one dude ain't gonna frighten this kid!  I'm taking off my shirt with my back turned to him, shoes and...so after getting workout ready, I turn around and he's looking at us.  And at first had his hands over his head, and then looking at us...little weird.  I said, "What's up dude! U ok."  Freakin' A, I so sound like a beautiful gal stepping out of a pool with guys drooling over her!!  Our initial thought was that may have not been the right thing to say, cuz it might open up the flood gates of conversation.  But I'm very comfortable with my sexuality..are u?  He replied in a English accent, "Yeah..."  I then lock up my stuff with my purple lock, and head out to get it in.

So our afternoon was pretty interesting.  And difficult, but u sometimes have to experience some things, and push through these type of days.  But guess what...I'm not done!!  Let's continue...

I walk home from working out.  Felt a few drops, no big thang, u gonna get that in Miami.  I'm listening to some songs on our Whiteberry phone.  I get about a block from our crib...I had my sunglasses on but I see afar off this woman across tha street, with this yellow halter top on and initially I'm like, "Who's this with her..."  I continue to walk, and cross tha street to the 700 block of Jefferson, and I hear "Hey Papi!!"  I'm thinking, "Is this shorty saying something?"  "Hey, Papi!!"  I hit pause on my phone and she begins to shout that she needs some help to move this piece of furniture.  I yell back, "Sure, but let me put my stuff up."  "Are u sure u coming back?"  "Yeah...I live right there.", as I was pointing to my apartment building.  I walking to the door, like here we go again...this is just another reason we say that no one, I mean NO ONE gets talked to more from complete strangers, especially when we have headphones and music on.  Its wild!  We put our stuff out and walk back out into a movie set....for real.

I get there and this woman, who is a little older, is with this guy.  Right when I get near them, she begins like, "Oh!"  And begin telling us that we're handsome...she points to the dresser.  Both me and this other guy begin to walk towards it as she tells me that she messed up her ankle on Mother's Day, by falling two floors of steps, and she showed me the crater of a scar.  Ew!  Let me repeat homies...Ew!!!  So this lady is begins to talk about her butt and booty, saying how she wished she could've landed on her booty, but she got "straight bone".  She even pats her buttock while talking to me and I'm beginning to think that some Miami Police are about to jump out from behind a couch as soon as I enter her apartment!  She's enticing me, but u know how that goes...so we get to the light wood tan drawer.  And she points up to some steps...Lord, please help me with this.

Malta is in the front...Oh, don't I have a fridge of a true bachelor!!

The other guy and myself grab the drawer, and I begin to walk backwards up these steps...and this woman, man...she begins to ask if we workout...I say, "A little bit"...and she hits me in her Latina voice, "U about to finish u're workout."  If she keeps playing somebody else may get worked out 2day!! (Smile!)  As she opens up her door, she tells me of how she does pedicures and medicare...I mean medicures, and she also gives haircuts.  Dang, she got the beauty industry on lock...heck, if she gets into doing massages, she'll be global!  We get inside, a dog running around.  She tells us to place it "over there" we do.  And then she begins to speak some Spanglish, and goes into her kitchen to give us some gifts.  She brings out two small bottles of Iberia Malta, which she says is "good for you".  This woman here, and then she goes and gets some mangos, she offers them to both of us, I decline, and she says, "We losing out."  This once again is ALL REAL, I'm not lying...

I begin to walk out her apartment, and she once again begins to hit on us..."U're so handsome."  She tells us her name, "Sicilia."  (Nice name.)  Then she tells us exactly, as I'm walking down the steps..."If I was 20 years younger..." and I already knew what that "dot, dot, dot" meant.  And judging by her Brazilian blow out hairstyle, how her body was looking, I'm sure 20 years ago I may have still been in handcuffs and it might've been a long night of me trying to use poor Spanish to say, "How tu hace that?  Es that possi-ble a bendable like that con  la humana bodia?"   I'm so krazy!  She tells us, "U'll always have a friend, I'm just her by myself with a dog."  Boy o boy....wild bro...Then, as I'm walking away, she shouts once again, "ARE YOU AMERICAN?"  I yell back, "Yeah, I am."  Now u see why I say our life is a real life movie....

Our life is one of a kind, and we gonna tell as much as we can, cuz one day, I don't know how, or when, but I do know its gonna happen sooner than we think...we're gonna realize that this is all becoming stuff of legend.  I just wanna have fun.  I'm not into causing trouble..sort of...just wild how it happens.  I guess Sisqo said it best in that old hip hop classic, "If u wanna be with me, u gotta understand this thang."  It's unique.  It's fun...Oh, it's ever so fun.

Austino Galaxia.
The Movie Continues...