Icy.

Vanilla Ice.  2 Cold.

Ice.

That word can mean so much.  It can me literally frozen water.  It can mean cool.  In tha 'hood it means nice jewelry.  Ice can also mean turning cold toward somebody.  How about the state of chill.  Humm???  Laying low or that in between stage...wait.  I like that.

Let's have a little science lesson here...ice is what, frozen water.  Water is one of the literal necessities of life. So ice is like the extreme state of water.  That means that ice can be the next level of water, and can be more dangerous in some way or another than its neutral state.  I gotta play Omarion's "Ice Box" as I'm writing this.  Interesting...I think I need to take a deep breath on this one tonight.

I think we've grown a little icy as of late.  In a good way...sometimes in a different way.  We've been going through some interesting things.  Our life has left the natural state and is entering into the "Icy" stage of our life.  Now if u use ice in the proper way, it can last a very, very long time.  I'm not just talking about those alcoholic beverages that u freeze as ice cubes at a "truth or dare" party either! One thing about really cold ice, is that it can cut deep and really scratch the surface.  All these experiences, and I'm not the only one, has really made us dig deep and deeper and deeper within...almost every day.  Some days we feel like "why is it so hard?"...other days we feel like the journey is worth every step.  One thing about 'Ice' is that there's a certain temperature that once reached, it turns into the frozen state.  Huh...starting to feel this thing y'all.

Perhaps, everything we go through, all the trials, the misunderstandings, all the being misunderstoods, are just degrees to help push u into that frozen state where nothing affects u , and u're able to survive and ...last. Isn't that what they try 2 do with dead bodies.  Freeze them up, so they are around forever.  I know I'm not the only one who feels like sometimes they have everything and then some, but still feel like something's....missing.  The journey up the ladder...sorry, up the freeze pop can be a long one.  As of recently, we have just gotten another "eye" it seems for life.  I'm like ever so possessed to cherish every moment and share it with others u know.  Just because I know how precious life can be, how short it is, and just because in some ways I feel like I'm...I feel like I'm the 9 year old kid who's stuck in a classroom with Juniors and Seniors taking the SAT exam.  As many of my friends have moved on into adulthood in some ways, I still have so much kid in us.  My "Fla-Vor-Ice" of Fun, hasn't melted yet.  Will it ever?!! That's a challenge.  It's difficult.

I'm gonna write 2nite like we used to back in the old days of 2002....sometimes when the water is cold, some get intimidated by that.  Think about diving into the water at freezing temperatures...but there are a very select few who "Polar Dip" and take a risk.  What I'm coming to terms with is that we have probably the coolest and most unique life in the Galaxia.  Point blank.  But I'm realizing that perhaps our life is just that, and that everybody may not want 2 take a dip, and some may just look at u crazy, when u're trying to enjoy life, while others may just wanna look from afar, and film u and put it on YouTube.  The thing that I'm wondering about and talk with the Great Director in the Sky about, is the wonderment if our life is too much like a movie.  Or are we too direct?  Like if we say da-da-dah...we mean da-da-dah.  I don't do games....I was talking 2 my Moms the other day on her birthday, talking about music and how we both appreciate the vets in the game, I mentioned Ginuwine or LL Cool J, just because they tell u straight up.  U know...If they want to say u're beautiful, and there's no one like you, they do.  If they want to tell a girl, to stop running' and being scared of love, they do.  I love that...that's who we've become and am.

We've been low key, soooooo much dude.  If u read our diary, u'll see that some krazy stuff has/is/will be happening in our life.  That's not braggin' or boasting, it's simply reality.  Believe me, I don't really ask for these things to happen.  Sometimes I rather not, but then again what would I write about, right?  Our mind has so many "Frozen Moments" Ice-T'd away in our memory bank.  There's an old saying that says, "Much given, much required."  That's why I think so many don't want to be themselves or strive to be a true leader because of the weight that comes with it.  Even though ice weighs more than the actual state of water, it's still water.  So just because somebody thinks the weight is lighter, in reality it is still water.  Wonder if somebody got that?

So Galaxia what are u talking about?  Are u mad at something?  Did something turn u cold all of a sudden?  All very great questions...Right now, we just figuring out why does it feel like we have like a small weight on us.  We still having fun, so to speak, but it's been different.  I feel like no matter what we do, or what we say, or how we look or how we pray, it might not be enough.  I believe to the fullest and the definition of keeping the faith is to keep going no matter what.  Just sometimes we wonder how many beauty pageants must one enter to only come up short?  That's why we keep on saying, u gotta push on.  I'm not just saying that stuff, yeah, it gets old talking about all that "keep ur head up" type of stuff, but that's our experiences.  Still shake my head somewhat, like what's the use of telling all these wild stories.  We be like, this stuff is really, really unique beyond any measure.  And no one has a life quite like this...why hasn't it blown up yet?  They say in life, that timing is everything.  Very true.

I was up at the Miami Heat offices today, to meet my boss (Sybil, we luv ya!!") and just thinking about all u have to go through to win a Championship.  Looking at old photos of D Wade from like '04 and Alonzo Mourning, timing and dedication even when things look so bleak...ah, wrong word.  When things aren't as clear as u wish they would and in ur opinion...should be.  One thing that can be taken away from going through the steps to ur goal, is tha fact that u didn't skip anything, which gives u some extra swag that can only be ordained on you by going through that process.  I think another thing that comes with that is a state of being "icy" to certain things or activities, because rejection used in the proper fashion can actually freeze ur focus and u realize u don't have time for things that don't make u better or for folks who don't do the same.

And as for being a single guy...let's be real on tonight.  If u have that special somebody, happy for ya, but this paragraph ain't for you.  The most difficult thing about being single, and this is not a complaint, but others may feel the same way.  The toughest thing is letting go of the past and to not compare ur present or unforeseen future to it.  It's delicate when I write stories about our past scenes, cuz they are in tha past, and u  shouldn't live in that history.  We write them because they can help and because we are led too...believe me, I don't get total pleasure talking about some tearful or crazy moments that could have led to some dark knight moments.  But if you're "available" and if u've been through a lot of episodes (more than 2 or 3), u have a natural tendency to be afraid to take a step forward or even take a risk.  I can write this with my eyes close because we've been there and because we hknow from ecperience.  (Not bad for closing our eyes, huh!)

Not comparing one person to the next...not saying she's great, but she don't have a smile like this other girl...or thinking this guy is so smart, but he does't have that "thug quality" like Bootsy...It's a comparison not only within the gender line but even to ourselves.  I think I hear crickets now...I freakin' work out and she don't, so I know a relationship wouldn't work.  Yeah, but she might be the best friend u'll ever have.  I'm an independent woman, got my own cash and ride, and he's barely makin' it...perhaps he has the qualities of a Billionaire and his timing is right around the corner.  "Beep it" I got a story to tell...I remember...

About a few weeks ago, I missed out on this one doll.  I really did.  I had the chance to come in contact with her on a constant basis.  She had a very attractive face, dressed nice, I really liked when she rocked glasses, and just had something that stuck out.  A few times I was thinking man, she's like unique.  She was of Hispanic decent, and she was a plus-size girl.  Now I see a lot of beauty in females, perhaps more than they see in themselves...all shapes, sizes, and colors.  The same with people in general...Say it once, I'll say it again...

I don't date race, I date beauty.

So this one day came, and I was in her presence for some time.  But seemingly the timing wasn't right.  Either too many people around or she wasn't paying us no mind.   But I would glance shyly, her way, and just wonder how can we get a 8-Ball corner shot at her.  *Note:  You never know who's checking you out, it can be the person who u least expect.*  She had a dressed up, rocker look , with a low cut blouse to show her bosoms, to even a small ring stud near her mouth.  Mouth ring, I don't know what u call that thang, but even though I haven't dug a girl with that in her mouth, I dug her...some.  She even said off the record, that she worked so much that she "didn't have a social life".  Lot of us don't have the life we want in that area...Our paths crossed and it suprised the heck out of me, that I actually saw her, so much that the moment happened so quickly that as she clicked away in her inched up heels, for once...I didn't say anything to her.  I coulda at least asked her "What's ur sign?!!"  (I'm a Scorpio...can't u tell!)  I saw her walking away in her curvy state, and I really didn't move, as I contemplated chasing after her like like I was in a Matthew McConaughey movie or something...and let me tell u...that hurt me.

Now we are the ultimate when it comes to taking risks and being real.  I don't approach everyone to date or hang out.  Bunk that!  One, I'm not desperate kid.  Dos, my lifestyle isn't for everybody, and it's not to be over-abused.  But what got me was a few things...I don't want anybody else to make the same mistake I did, but not telling somebody how u feel about them or if it's right, at least not recognizing the beauty they possess.

She was different...physically.  I will never let this happen again.  Meaning that, even though I don't really have a "type", if I dig somebody no matter what that person's weight is or if she's tall or short, I'm gonna appreciate that person and not let society dictate who I should be with.  We say that, but it's true.  See somebody, and we wonder..."Is Mom or Dad gonna approve?"  "What will my friends think first meet him/her?"  If that person has freakin' blue hair, (I wonder if people dye there...never mind.) or if they have a sleeve full of tats or even if they like dogs, and u haven'e even had a roach as a pet, if YOU dig them, that's what matters.  This won't happen again to us, u bet that.

Another thing.  U never know when u're timing will come.  Like we said before.  You can count out ever seeing a person again, and there they are at the Post Office or Bank.  I ruled out seeing her again, and was so blown away being a few personal zones away from her, that I let the shock of the moment exceed the opportunity itself.  And when it hit me that that was a chance, it was too late.  Don't look for love per se, but u have to remain open.  As of recently different "opportunities" have been coming our way.  And I believe if u just be yourself and love life and as some girl told us "do what u love" things will happen.  No doubt about it.

Lastly...a risk taken beats one not taken anytime.  Like we say, whether u're a guy or gal, keep ur standards of what makes someone attractive to you.  If u like Musicians or Bookworms or those who like to get their freak on after the Today Show on Tuesday mornings, do it.  But sometimes u have to throw caution to the wind, and sometimes the wind blows things ur way.  U may have to create it, but if u're confident in who u are and what u have to offer, then so be it.  I know I ask certain people, after diligent research, perhaps to kick it or not.  Some do, Some don't.  But I'm learning to take a page out of some High School referees who used to do my H.S. basketball games.  I was one of the Captains of the team, so before the game we would meet at mid court, and these two refs would say:  "Have a good game.  If you play a good game, we'll call a good game.  If you play a bad game, we still gonna call a good game!!  Now shake hands!!"  We used to laugh when we heard that, but that's life changing.  Our life is so, that if whether we're partying with dudes and gals at a rooftop party or just going for a walk by ourself at night, we still gonna create fun, and still...fun is gonna follow us.  Keep saying we have the best life...and one day, everybody will know, we weren't kidding either.

And that day is coming...very soon.

Austino Galaxia....aka Ice Man 2k12.