"Da...Dah-Da Dahhhh!!!!"

Where is it at?  Where is it at?
I need to find this thang so bad, or else I'm about 2 cry.
Move Hot Wheel cars...Get out tha way Hong Kong Phooey doll,
Still have this WWF Or 'E' Undertaker figure...just because I know I'll never die.

It's not over hear by my DVD's I think,
Who else u know has Complete Seasons of Tha Jackson Five and Danger Mouse.
No...No...I need to find what I'm truly looking for,
I know I brought it down here, and didn't leave it up North in my Indiana house.

See, I was given this thang a long time ago...Man, where did I put it?
And I said I was never gonna pull it out, until it was truly a need.
Well, tha month of February was a Living H-E-Double Hockey Sticks,
And with this item, into this month of March I will Fun-fully lead.

Snap!  Look at me...Fun-Filly...Huh.
We've gone so delusional that I'm now making up words.
Talking half Ebonics, and half Proper English most of tha time...I should b Luv's Waiter,
Swagged up like...You Got Served, while gentleman British like Are You Being Served?!

Maybe I should take a job at Prime 112,
Perhaps they will let me eat some Lobster Mac 'N' Ch....Ah Ha!!!
(Smooch!  Smooch! Smooch!) Yes, I finally got it,
Somehow I can hear Harry Blackstone sing, 'Ta Dahhh!'

U know what, I'm gonna do somethang different on today,
I'm gonna close each and ever curtain in my studio that I can reach.
Cuz (Click.)...You Can't (Click.)...Trust these people around here...(Click.),
Plus, somebody told me that u can't trust these people living around South Beach.

Park so close and illegally on my Jefferson Ave. block,
Don't move while walking on tha Walk Sides, and they don't even clean up their Dog Poop.
Mean, how am I supposed to scoop this Model chick skateboarding wearing Daisy Dukes,
When I'm constantly looking down not 2 step into 3 day old Alpo Soup?!!

Yuk!  Said I wasn't gonna get with a girl who had a dog,
But coming to Miami has taught me tha notion of, "No Woof? No Play."
So if want my face to be flashed with headlights, and be able to hear Vicki's Secrets,
I better join tha Kennel Club quick!!  Maybe I should get signatures to make Scooby-Doo's Bday a Holiday!

Tell me that wouldn't win points with tha ladies here in Tha Sunshine State?!!
Speaking of dogs, it was actually a Dog who gave me this item that I'm about to take a look.
His name is Underdog...Nobody probably has even heard of this guy, he so Vintage,
When he first introduced himself to me I asked him was born when they first had Egyptian scrolls, or books?

So, this is a long story, but I'm sitting here with tha lights of so who cares, its just me,
Just gonna pop in this Josie and The Pussycats album, and turn this into a 1970s style pub.
(Siss...Sisss...) Yeah, I love tha sound of an album so sexy,
Ok.  So I first met this Underdog character right when I was outside of tha club.

Peep this...So I wasn't even gonna go to tha club that night but I got a text from my girl Veronica,
'heyyy, this is vero...come to tha club tonight.  long week.  need sum fun.  it's just me and betty.'
Vero is like freakin' dirty hot, but she's dating this college guy named Archie,
But Betts is like beautiful, like tha dream gurl next door...Texted her back, 'Bet. I'm getting ready.'

Put on some sexy clothes, and step into my Batmobile,
I call it that because after talking with Bruce Wayne he told me, 'Dream Galaxy and it will be a lock.'
So I'm all looking clean, and smelling like Dolce and Gabanna 21,
Anticipating getting into some Betty later this evening...I mean fun...Gonna party 2nite at Club Bedrock!

Now from what I heard about this club is that this place is always jumping every night,
People partying with no shoes on, dancing away...Inside and outside tha joint is laced with Rocks.
These legendary party animals Fred and Wilma used to own tha place now they passed it down to their kids,
So Bam-Bam and Pebbles are now in charge, and they make sure tha party doesn't ever stop.

Pebbles tried to make a move on me while I was at Mickey and Minnie's anniversary bash at Disney,
She's off tha charts hot, her smile is so magnetic, on top of that she has in her hair...A dinosaur bone.
Her face is flawless, Her Betsey Johnson green blouse and Blue booty shorts, make her a '10',
But I was a little leery because everytime I see her, she's either with her brother or all alone.

Like I love a girl with Orange hair, that really turns me on,
She even told me she'll get her belly button pierced just for me...still I was like, "I don't know."
It was bad timing cuz she just ran into me after making out with Jessica Rabbit in tha unisex bathroom,
I was still seeing framing that Red Dress in my mind, so none of her passes were given my sane flow.

I knew it was gonna be a crazy night, hanging with Vero, Betty, and seeing Peebles,
As soon as I dropped off tha whip in Valet, who do I see first?...Tha Gazillionaire...Scrooge McDuck!
He grabs me by tha hand and is like, "Galaxia, Luv ur stuff! How much will it cost for u 2 write for me?"
Whenever McDizzle sees me, he asks me that, and I give him tha same answer...'Only if Daisy will let me Pluck!'

See, Daisy is like his Sister-In-Law or something, but tonight was special he wasn't alone,
"Galaxia, I want u to meet my friend Underdog." I look at his fit, and thought, this is Shaqtin' a Fool funny.
This Underdog character had on this superhero outfit, with 'U' on tha front, and a blue cape,
I shook my head even as Pocoyo and his entourage walked by, thinking, 'U hang around tha strangest people whenever U got money!'

Next thang I know it, this Underdog reaches under his cape,
A took a step back cuz I thought he had a piece with him...I just recall tha last time I went out.
They had to shut down Ocean Drive, and had to bring in tha whole entire G.I. Joe crew,
Because Egon from Tha Ghostbusters, and Jeanette from The Chipettes got into a match of shout.

That night, and please I hope this don't sound like I'm a Playboy, because I....Am...Sorta!  (Wink!)
But that night I was with Brittany Miller, tha lead singer of The Chipettes, and she was looking...right.
Had her 80's hair all up in a bunch, Her attitude of  'Have Fun By Any Means Necessary' was on point,
Later that night, we had tha top dropped, and we're necking a little as Alvin and his boys passed...that was an awkward sight.

But we were standing up there looking at Egon and Jeannette arguing right in front of tha News Cafe,
Let me tell ya, their ain't a thang more crazier than 2 people arguing over theorems and formulas of Science.
They really just took it too far, that night, got kind of physical, which is why tha troops were brought in,
Clark Kent was holding a shing dig for his friends at Tha Daily Planet, and even his plate of food went flying!

This Underdog character pulls out a book, and gives it to me,
I'm thinking, like I always do....Who brings a book to tha club?  He-Man, Tha bouncer, ain't gonna let u in with that.
He gave me the book and a wink, and then literally took to tha sky in flight!
Old Scroogy, just smiled, and nodded for us to go in, and on my back relaxed me by giving a simple pat.

With this book in tote, we walked into tha club together, and immediately I knew this was gonna be wild,
Everybody having a ball...It reached a whole new level when I saw Rosie, The Jetsons' maid, doing Tha Robot!
It was like watching Edison with tha Light Bulb, or Benjamin Franklin fly tha Kite,
Or walking into Cheech and Chong's backyard garden, and seeing B. Marley planting seeds of Pot.

Was looking for Vero and Betty, I sent them a text to ask, 'Where R U?'
She responded that they were over in tha back in VIP, tha red rope one behind tha bar.
As I was passing over, I noticed another old girlfriend Babs Bunny, bartending it up,
She asked me, "What do u want?", I said..."A tall drink of u with no rocks."...Spoke it like a true star.

See, that her going cuz everybody knows how I feel about Babs she's my gurl,
I she ran away from me, and it hurt me so, that I had to write a whole diary post to show my pain.
She's tha only girl that I've met who luvs to have fun, as much as me...I mean EVER MET...
That's all she wants outta life, and she doesn't even care about all this material gain.

She's dated all these Busters in tha past, which has made her see what life's all about,
Every guy wants to be with her...We got together right before Spongebob's Movie Party in '04.
Those Nickelodeon characters know how to celebrate a movie release, let me tell ya...
But it was Babs who then and who I will always...Adore.

Just her style, how bouncing her body is even under a 90s sweatshirt, and skirt.
She always wore tha colors of Tha Lakers, she's a Los Angelenos born gal, which I love.
Sexiest eyes, with a personality that could tell u where u can go in a minute,
She even graduated from Acme Looniversity with a Bachelor's in Fun and Master's in Luv...She was like sent from above.

We were perfect...Daria who was working for MTV at tha time, even did a story on us,
If I recall tha title of it was, "Fun's Ultimate Couple...A Star and His Bunny."
Mean what else could u ask from a relationship...Sleeping with a Tail that was so ultra Fluffy,
Then waking up to a breakfast that featured Carrots, Spinach and Celery...on top of Egg White Up Sunny.

She would do this sexy naked Hop thang on my birthday...let me stop, cuz I'm bout to cry,
See but tha thoughts of Marriage is what broke up apart...as it does sometimes for every movie star or jock.
I loved her, but I wasn't truly ready for any commitment...She was...And that's why we split.
Now u get my response, as I was at tha bar that night...Get it...'A Tall Drink of U with No Rocks.'

As I was chatting it up with my Babs, Scroogy made his way to this table,
Telly u what, it made be true what they say...Money can make any man look sexy and fine.
He was entertaining, check out this out....Lara Croft, and Diana Prince, who plays Wonder Woman on TV.
Later he told me, Ariel was there too, but she was in tha bathroom...that Mermaid suit can take some time.

After chatting it up with Babs, and making plans to go to Fat Albert's Rap concert that weekend,
I literally had to yank Scroogy from tha company of this Dream Team of Beauty.
Ren and Stimpy was working tha VIP Robe, letting anybody in...they don't care they just want to act silly,
And us two just scooted in dancing to tha sounds of DJ Daphne Blake, who Rolling Stone named, 'Music's Newest Cutie.''

I remember one day on tha sands of tha beach, looking at tha Brazilian Beach Volleyball team practice,
When I glance over to my right, and I see none other than Popeye and Brutus, enjoying tha Eye Candy.
What through me for a loop was that Olive Oyl, was tanning right next to Popeye as this was going on,
She just shrugged her shoulders at me, in a way that said, "If that tickles his fancy."

I've never seen a girl look so skinny...
But I have to be honest, also at tha same time look so hot.
She had on this 50s style Chanel swimsuit, that looked great, like old school Miami Beach,
Next thang I know it, she leaned over to me, and told me she had tha perfect girl...this name u want to jot.

Double O was like, "Daphne Blake, that's tha girl that u need to meet and get to know,
She's very smart, She's into music, and she's into Mysteries...at least she rides in that Machine Van."
Ms. Oyl continued that Daphne loves and always wears tha color of Purple, which is my favorite as well,
Dresses like a lady...Popeye interrupted by saying, "Son, always go for tha Spinach with Big Cans!"

Olive then gave him a smack upside his head!  But that name I've remembered ever since,
So as I did my Barney dance, I looked up, and DJ Daphne was even more beautiful than I could imagine.
She then caught eyes with me, and gave tha most beautiful smile ever,
And I feel in luv, like my boy Elmo did with Geoffrey The Giraffe, now tell me that ain't with a strong passion!

Tha stobelights were flashing, as I made my way up to tha DJ booth,
This Little Pup named Scrappy, was barking like he was her bodyguard or something, but she gave me tha nod.
The next thang I know I start to hear tha bassline from Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Outta My Head",
And I immediately knew this was a greatest sign ever given by God.

I take a seat right behind her on her special couch,
I take a peek, like Popeye told me to, and I then just smiled cuz I know I hit tha Jackpot.
Just something about a very intelligent gal, with a beauty u cannot describe,
It's like she knows the difference between  tha shades MAC and Laura Mercier...While also knowing in a paragraph where to put Tha Dot.

DJ D.,took off her Beats By Dre,  then began to scribble...On post-it note, then back on tha One's and 2's.
She passed me tha purple note, lifted her toned arms, and shook her booty perfectly to tha beat.
The music was pumping strong...The Inspector Gadget and Penny were rockin' out...Like it was Paris 1983,
I open up tha note, that had 'Call Me' and her number with Purple Heart on it...Trust me, to get a girl this smoking hot is no easy feat.

That's all I needed cuz this night was almost perfect for tha Ultimate Single Guy,
First I saw a "friend" in Babs, which we made plans for a Concert...So I had her in my tote.
Then this other gurl that Olive told me was perfect for me, and who tha media thinks is tha sexiest doll,
I didn't even have to say a single word, and she passes me that most simplest yet sexiest Post-It note.

Got up from tha couch, and went to look for Scroogy boy, who was had tha girl laying on her back,
He was doing Body Shots with a crowd looking on...I'm looking like, this gurl looks like somebody I know.
Watching McDuck, take off his Top Hat, for the first time I can recall meant he was all bid-ness,
He had his limes next to him in a shot glass, as well as his empty Gucci wallet...Who's he foolin'? We all know he got dough!

Get a little closer, and realizing that Scroogy is taking shots off of Betty Boop!
I knew that he used to have a crush on her back in tha day, cuz one he flat out told.
Got to give him some credit, Tha Boopster looked as good as she did back in tha 1930's,
It was like she didn't age a single bit...Maybe tha key 2 life is drinking water when it isn't so cold.

I knew that He wasn't going anywhere...Not anytime soon...
I knew that for sure when I saw his three nephews bringing bottles of Corona and Ciroc from tha rear.
Walked out of VIP, looked back at Daphne who blew me a kiss with her hand,
Suddenly I felt like I could conquer tha entire world like She-Ra, and have no fear.

On my way out of tha club, I stopped by tha bar once again, to talk to Babs,
But her co-Bartender was being a total jerk.  If I wasn't on Daphne's high, I woulda stuck him in tha jaw.
Later I found out he's known as Dennis Tha Manace, around these parts, like I really GAF...udge,
Sure he was jealous cuz I got tha gurl he's been wanting for months...'It's tough 2 replace a History'...That's tha first rule of Love's Law.

He told me that she left over an hour ago, and then turned his back to clean some shot glasses,
I walked away fuming over his attitude, my homeboy Bart and his boys walked into tha club just in time.
They're down to live it up. He asked me, "Galaxia u cool? Or do u want me to hit him in tha with this bottle of Duff."
I told him, that I ain't sweating that fool...Then freakin' outta nowhere Milhouse hits Dennis in tha head with a bottle of Wine.

Of course, a fight broke out, just like when I visited Bart up in Springfield, at Apu's Place,
I was out tha door, as Officer Clancy and RoboCop stopped dancing, to break up this Donnybrook.
Valet came with my ride, but as my roof sealed back shut, it just hit me outta nowhere...
"Galaxia...You forgot your Underdog Book."

I hit tha button to open tha roof to my ride once again,
Hopped out tha car so fast, that I heard a "Rippp...!!!"  sound that sounded like a Roar.
Cyber Katy Perry wasn't around, if so I wouldn't have left...But I look down, and Yep I did it,
I just tore open tha side of one my favorite wardrobe items...My lucky slacks from Michael Kors.

Fortunate from me, I didn't have to go any further, cuz I saw this weird guy fly in with my book,
He said his name was Captain Planet, and he's outside tha club, to pass out flyers on how 2 save tha Globe.
Said he found tha book inside, as he was taking a break to grab a snack of some organic nuts at tha bar,
Galaxia was on it, but he couldn't find me,  cuz all tha lights were flashing so bright under tha Strobe.

Told him Thanx and Zoomed back home here to South Beach,
Which brings us to this Saturday, tha First Day of A New March.
Didn't know when I would open this book up, but I just knew I would,
Knew when my thirst for life would begin to seem so parch.

So...its so dark in here...Oh...Man!!  Would u look at this.
As I open up this book, tha whole thang illuminates in tha dark.
Almost need some 3-D glasses just to read this thang...Let me see...
Wow!  A pair comes inside the front cover...Tell u This Underdog dude didn't skip nada part.

The writing is small, and it looks like it is short in words,
Let me see if I can decipher what this thang says.
Crazy how this book is so big, but only has like one sentence inside,
Sure it will be something worth ready, like a piece of advice from his Superhero tales.

Yep!  We was right, and it seems like its just for me,
Wish tha rest of tha Galaxy could see what I'm about to read, although it's written in a sloppy way.

'Don't look at ur past as a struggle, View it through tha eyes of Cartoons and Comics...
Laugh about it! Always remember...Every Superhero has his own Era...

...And Yours begins on Today!'

Signed, 
Tha World-Famous...Underdog.

P.S.  And To Be One...I wouldn't have it any other way!