Almost like when a robber tells u 'Hands Up' while poking u with a gun.
Or as ur Luther burger is getting crisp right before it hits those sweet Krispy Kreme Buns.
Thinking about all those losses and how hard it's been before u've finally won.
Today, I don't know what's about to unfold, I'm almost....Done?
Yeah, Dude, I've been at this thang for far to long not to have seen tha Rising Sun.
I'm not having fun anymore, just gonna be honest, this has been a climb of Rung after Rung.
Seemingly, I feel like I'm tha only one who cares...This is turning into a Future TV One episode of 'Galaxia Unsung.'
Like no matter what I have or try to accomplish, it always starts unwanted drama.
U write from ur heart, sometimes call out names out of admiration...Then u feel like u gotta apologize to people's Mama.
Think about how all u want to do is Make People believe in tha impossible, and nobody is listening like a 2002 Obama.
Wondering...Am I missing something? Did I listen to hard in school? If so, then why is it I'm still working on a decade or so of Bad Karma?
I got EVERYTHANG in tha Galaxy...Yet, there's something missing, and I think I know.
We just a person who wants to have simple fun, and laugh...Who cares about my Citibank worth of dough.
If u tell me that I'll have my dream career, and find ONE doll who understands this Fun Life...Everythang else I will throw.
Almost feel like Destiny is putting it's funky handcuffs on my future...Like a slave living in tha era of Jim Crow.
Don't know what to do anymore...Right now, I have a absolute new book.
Trust me, I'm deciding right now, if I shall leave South Beach or head west...LA is constantly giving me a Flirtatious Look.
Or if I should stop writing all together in this diary...And throw in my dirty apron as a Love Cook.
Sometimes I just feel like I've hit every step, seen every chick...My tablet reads like a Barnes & Noble, and I've seen every Nook.
I'm not like, what's that word....Oh, yeah...Depressed...I'm more like, this is extremely hard.
Feel like I'm going to tha Post Office, for a trip Outta This World, and 4 a passport I need Three ID's plus 2 Credit Cards.
Then when I bring those to tha 'Go Postal' joint, they change tha rules again, and am like, 'U now need to Pass tha Questionnaire Bar.'
That has u thinking that, Why are they changing tha rules, while I'm playing tha game...I should bust through these windows with my Drop Top Car.
U getting a real diary entry today...U feel like the Party is all around you, but u're tha one missing out.
Thoughts of, 'Like Hey, The Star of Tha Future is right in front of ur eyes', why aren't u hearing my shout.
Don't think that I have an 'All about Me' attitude, it's tha opposite...Matter of fact, I've sacrificed a good amount.
Just that now, I'm really, and I mean really am determined to make a name for myself...And for my face to be on somebody's "Fun" Rushmore Mount.
Guess I'm at this ultimate point, where very few reach or want to share verbally or on paper.
Tha one where U don't care what people think, when it comes to u turning spoiled sugar into tha tastiest of Vanilla Wafers.
Or when it comes to u wanting to change tha Globe, and as a somewhat disciple...of tha Famed Caped Crusader.
Right now I'm dealing with, when I'm I gonna get mine...All my life, I've taken a backseat, and have been all too much willing to Cater.
Now, it's like, $@%! This, I'm ready...I've done tha Will of God, Now let's show everybody what we got.
Show how, Yes, it's possible to have tha Grandest High possible, while Marinating Fun and not Pot.
Or Yes, it's possible to appreciate a gurl who's in a relationship, without wanting to sleep with her on Tempur-Pedic Cot.
Or Yes, it's possible, to be cool enough to understand, "Ratchet" and "LOL" while also spitting 90s lingo like, "Totally Dude"...or, "Noooot".
Starting to feel this y'all....
Somebody needs to know, that there's another level to life, and for that...I'm willing 2 die.
If it takes me to go through Hell, in tha relationship department, I'll do it, so a future guy won't be ashamed to cry.
If it means me writing when I should be working out right now, I'll do it...Cuz I won't somebody 2 approach tha Dream Guy and not be Shy.
If it means me, staying in, instead of hitting a WMC party, I will...Cuz there might be somebody who wants to become Ageless like this guy.
Not holding anythang back anymore, cuz I know that This Galaxy wants tha Truth, and wants to reach tha top.
That means I'm gonna give a compliment on a new hairdo, or outfit...Ur boyfriend's just gonna hate me cuz I ain't gonna stop.
Cuz I know, that You need to know ur beautiful, and feel like ur wanted...How do u think MJ would feel if only one person was in line to Jordan shoe Cop?
Or how would Snoop Dizzle feel if cats would only sing, "It Like it's Hot", not realizing that first u have to 'Drop.'
Today, I'm drawing tha line in my Galaxy Sand...That just so happens to look like South Beach.
I'm gonna throw all of me into this post, so I can see who's really down to Star Dream Reach.
See, we all can talk a good game, and this-that and a 1/3, but who's really down before Oven pops open 'Celebrity Quiche'.
Right now, we're still in tha kitchen, throwing it all together, matter of fact...Why don't u grab a seat.
See, in every recipe I make, from here on out, two ingredients are gonna be present...Fun And Amor.
If ur allergic, one, either or both of those thangs, U need to stand up, and leave, and don't be ashamed when u butt get slammed by my door.
If u've never heard of any of those thangys, then u need to go back to tha beginning of my diary, and u'll learn a whole lot more.
But we don't have time on today, see...I'm T'd off, I'm not on tha Food Network, and I'm really about to settle a score.
First off, look at my Kitchen, it's all nice and neat...Don't be fooled cuz we're about to make a mess.
Sometimes in life, u got 2 make ur presence known...Do a little trash talk, even though Silence is tha name of tha game in Life's board of Chess.
U have to not be afraid to get dirty...I told u before I luv to pour honey on Pierced Belly Buttons...This I'm not afraid to confess!
This is a Galaxy work area...There's two thangs I Luv 2 see on my Kitchen Floor...That's Sweat...And a Sexy Just Cavalli Dress.
Other than that, every thing that u need is in front of you, and today we're gonna put together tha ultimate dish.
See, I'm more inspired than ever...On life...On proving people wrong...I want my life to become somebody's 'Make-A-Wish'.
But as ur gonna see on today, anythang worth having is worth going through tha process...Like a Hug before A Kiss.
Do we have any volunteers to what we should cook up on today? I can't eat fried foods, so that eliminates Plantains, Salisbury Steak, and Down Home Catfish.
I know what we're gonna cook up, so just watch...And ur gonna see a Master go to Work.
See, as I'm reaching for my Luv and Fun, did u know that Life isn't like tha Dish Network, and toss u Free Perks.
I'm learning that u have to earn it, and go through severe pain to get ur dream...It took me years until I finally got mine...Which was 2 see Miley Cyrus bend down and finally Twerk!
Now that I got that, I now want to see Urkel, Screech, and Carlton make a movie together...Which would aptly be named, "Return of Tha Nerdy Dorks!"
See, I thought it was gonna be a Cool Breeze...Smooth Sail...Ha! I felt like I was trying to pick up a gurl without having one of tha Euro Three's.
Huh...U ask what that is...That's either a Euro Wardrobe...A Euro Cologne...Or A Euro Two-Seat.
Tha Cologne is tha easiest one to attain, but even with that, she'll get used to ur smell after about a Week.
Then following that to keep her...Well, let me add a Fourth...Cuz u'll have to put something European on her Pretty Pedicured feet!
Man, I luv French Pedi's...With that white tip at tha end...Man, just thinking about that makes me want to get out tha Cool Whip.
I prefer for it to be used above tha waist line, American Pie style, but sometimes u have to take a 'Never Before Ventured Trip'.
'Going Down' is sometimes a good thang...as long as while u do it u don't fall or even slip.
That's what I luv about Cooking...U don't know if I'm talking about Food or let's say Sex...Either way, u can end up with a funny taste on ur Lips!
So we got tha Luv and Fun...(Snap!)...Yeah, this is important...Did u know that these two Natural Resources actually cost tha most?!
See, it's kind of confusing cuz they are still affordable, but u'll think they are like G6 cash, since they are still on tha store shelves Coast-To-Coast.
One time, I was basically giving some leftovers for free...But instead these Rookies wanted to spend their Chulapas on a Louis Tha XVIII toast.
Not knowing that if u have Luv...Excuse Me...Amor and Fun...Every Hot Gal would want u, cuz those are tha two qualities in her Man...That Cuties want to Boast.
And..."How-Low Can.You.Go...How-Low CanYouGo...How Low Can.You.Go...How Low CanYou..."
Man, that's my Grandma's ringtone...Please Don't Ask...In my family I have a Freak or Two...
Give me a sec...'Hello, Grandma...Yeah...Ah-Huh...I know, next time use fake names or they will Sue.
Uh-Huh...Uh-Huh...But...Graaanndma!!! I said this week I'm only going out with gurls from Panama...U messed up, Last Week it was gurls from Peru!
Huh? Noooo....Last time u asked Bonnie, she hooked me up with this Supermodel off a far island near Chile.
I know, she was Attractive and had Curves...But That week I was going to this Bollywood Film Festival, and I specifically said, I wanted a Beautiful Gal from New Delhi!
I'm Too Picky?? Grandma, I'm just specific according to tha Day...Next week, I'm taking a trip on this Space Odyssey.
Huh? She knows some Aliens too? Grandma, I'm a Freak, but I've never dated an...She can do WHAT with her pierced tongue? With All Three?!!
I gotta go, Grandma....Let me whisper this....Tell Bonnie to give that Alien my digits...Ok...Bye-Bye.'
Boy, this is gonna be a Space Shuttle ride that's definitely gonna end with a 'Blast Off!'...And...Ooops! Oh My!
I forgot, that all of u all were in my Kitchen...Just trying to Freak Down...I mean, get to know, a few International Beauties, without wasting a try.
Now, where were we? Oh, Yeah, Fun And Amor, and how its a Secret Aphrodisiac...Just a dose, will make u warm in ur thighs!
So that's why I put it in everythang I make...That includes: Cakes, Rice Krispie Treats, and Chicken Soups.
My boy was having some Girlfriend trouble...He told me to make my Special dish, so he could throw her for a Loop.
Which was my 'Waikiki Six Hours Behind Hawaiian Chicken Salad', which on top had Doritos tha shape of Hula Hoops.
He joked with me saying he now knew why I gave it that name...Cuz Six Hours Later, Him and His gurl was 'Doing Tha Fool' in tha Backseat of his 911 Coupe!
See get it...Miami time is 5:49pm...In Hawaii, it's 11:49am, then her butt...Can somebody tell Rachael Ray in 30 Minutes or Less that I need my own show!
Ok, so u must have those two thangs...Then u need some water...Boil it slooowly to a simmer...Or else, tha top will blow.
Sometimes, as in life, things have to get really, really hot before u realize what's more important than tha Green Cookie Dough.
I was so P'd off about life before I began talking to you 2day, I'm starting to cool off...Very...Slow.
We got Tha Amor, Fun, and tha Water is Boiling...Ah, let me crank it up by about...98 Degrees.
Always wear gloves, cuz u can get Nick'd up, if u Lachey onto tha pot without them...It'll burn you...Like seriously.
Everythang is starting to shape up here for our dish, let me put some gum in my mouth...Anybody want some Carefree?
(Smack! Smack! Smack!) Alright, Gonna speed this up cuz, I gotta catch tha Heat/Pacers game tonight, and its gonna be like World War III!
Tha most controversial ingredient that I may or may not use, is that which is called Sugar.
Oh...Oh...Who sung that song? Yeah...Baby Bash and Frankie J!...That had all tha Mommy's saying, "Con Galaxia Mi Jugar."
Which sounded wrong, but if a Cutie Senorita wants to Play, then I'll be that Top Shelf Corona u can't find at a Calle Ocho Bar.
Just hope that she can control her anger like she can control her Grammar...U think she's all nice dressed in her bebe mid-drift top, but...Let us 2 get stopped by a Policia Car.
I'm very hesitant 2 use Sugar, cuz it can be very powerful, I mean its just its natural form.
Too much of it for me, personally, can have me breaking out in pimples, wanting to hide my face like a Worm.
Too much Sugar can mess with ur head, just try to walk with ur shirt off, into a All-Girls School Dorm.
Which is funny how Kisses used to make u go crazy...Now even a Gurl on Gurl Kiss has become...Tha Norm.
If I had to choose two girls I would like to make out, I would choose...Oh, I won't go there...
(Sissss! Sissss!) Alright, tha water seems boiled up, I'll pour it into this bowl. U just need a amount called Fair.
Guys I tell ya, u have to learn how to cook, if so, I promise...Any fine Honey would just stop and...Stare.
I always say, Different Is Sexy...And cooking can set u apart, and be acceptable to be...Qu...
Can I say that word? Anybody know? This gurl over here is YouTubing this...It means Strange or Odd.
I just don't want to get into trouble tonight, don't forget I'm still looking for any kind of Network Job.
Not trying to be disrespectful anymore...That was a hefty fine I had to pay for using tha phrase 'Slob Tha Knob'.
That was like $100,000, when I meant to write Cindy, but instead I goofed up and wrote Bob.
Anyways, Water is in tha bowl...Fun and Amor is now poured in...And we're missing just one thang.
No...I'm making no King Cake for Mardi Gras...besides I have to look u up on Facebook before I consider giving anybody a Tiny Baby or Huge Ring.
I mean, u tell me that u have a nice voice and have been in a lot of videos, but in all that I saw, u were a Dancing Video Vixen, and Never once did u Sing.
Now, I'm all off subject, thinking back to Hip Hop Weekend 2011...But yeah, do ur homework...I thank Microsoft every night for Bing!
Tha Final accessory that u need is...is...."That Little Red Can."
I wonder if anybody read that Post that showed how 'Hate' is something u need to stand.
For this recipe on today, I'm gonna pour in a whole lot of it...Cuz that's what I've been feeling in both hands.
Put a smidget of that inside, and stir...Yeah...My mouth is getting wet like when I used to watch MTV's Tha Grind on those Spring Break sands.
Give it about 21 one good wacks of ur hand stirring and then...Anybody want a taste? Don't be afraid.
Come on, this can't look that bad? I've seen people line of for worse at Tha Food Court at Miami-Dade.
Come here girl...What's ur name? Ok, Sah-day...Huh....Tha proper way to pronounce ur name is...Shade.
Gurl u can't tell me what to do, ur in my kitchen...So Sah-day, here's a spoon...And...Yeah, I know u like it, cuz u have a smile as wide as tha Big Guy from Kool-Aid.
Huh. I guess I was talking to myself in this Kitchen, instead of u in here, and watching abroad.
I feel somewhat better about life, it's like when u realize a gurl for her mind, and don't treat her like...A Broad.
Think we said it before that our life, as does yours has ups and downs, which is why I keep saying that it's a play worthy of a Way via Broad.
Where u have to be strong inside out...Remember, "No Pain, No Gain" that's how ur shoulders become so Broad.
Let's review...'That Little Red Can', u must have that for this dish to be a Success as it should be.
People are gonna Hate on you...Even So-called friends will walk by without saying 'Hi', but think 2 urself, 'One Day They All Are Gonna See.'
Use it as motivation, and Live ur life like it's gonna be shown and seen by Millions...Like tha old shows of Regis and Kathie Lee.
I used to overlook this ingredient, but now I understand that 'Embracing Tha Hate' is this Dish's Number One Key.
Then we had Water, which I like because it can adapt to its surroundings, no matter what occurs.
Can be a Saving Grace when ur trapped in a desert...And can make one heck of a Snowball, when ur in tha Land of Furs.
U have to sometimes change with tha environment, as I'm learning tha hard way...Or in Foodie Land we say,
'The Best Pancake Dough occurs when it's Over Stirred.'
Today, I've learned to accept what I can't control...Whether that's being in a Pickle on tha Job, or with Gurls who only want one thing...To Eat Big Cucumbers!
I'm gonna let that last line simmer, cuz that's First Class Hilarious!............Ok, Now we back!
Being Fluid, requires Change...Sometimes Tha Change can take 10 years plus to Master...Which can seem Whack!
But just think about how long it takes Inventors, or even Take me, A Cook to get a Recipe to Perfection, Maybe Patience is what we Lack.
And I'm tha Ultimate, "I'VE BEEN ON THA FRONT LINE 2 LONG, WHERE'S MINE?!" type of Guy...Sometimes u have what u need all along if u were 2 dig Deeper into ur Backpack.
Must have Water though...And of course, Amor and Fun...Or Vice a Versa.
I've been 'Hot'...Well, Yeah...But not that 'Soap Opera Actor' Hotness...I've been Steaming Upset...Lord Hav Merssa!
Blessed to have seen and done so much in our life, that it started not to be Fun anymore...And I'll write in a diary, and have to backtrack our 'F-Word' Word A Curssa.
Then our Love Life has been interesting...And I think to myself, I just want a Mad Cool Gal, who's Voluptuous, and happens to have tha White/Multicolor Louis Vuitton...A Purssa!!
Say that cuz I want somebody who isn't like everybody else? My personality isn't Black or Brown...It's Color filled.
Just thinking about how everythang is gonna be worth is...Almost can't make my legs stand still.
Not just Amor...Sexually...But showing Love to others...I mean, why look so down? U ain't tha only one who's got Bills.
I raise my hand real high on this...I mean, South Beach layout, Living tha Life...So many people for this lifestyle would Kill.
That's why I must maintain, an even kill...And not get jealous, or envious, and simply know that our turn is a coming.
Keep saying that when this hits...It's gonna hit...Tha Galaxy got it first, then everybody else will come a running.
Just want to show tha Honest Fun and Luv, always wins...Step out on Faith, even though somebody may think ur ways are somewhat Cunning.
But if ur 'Authentic', they'll know, u're just being you...And since there's only one YOU...U'll always be tha Most Stunning!
I've given my all, to let you in on My Recipe, and to see who's really down, cuz now...It all begins.
May be my last time cooking this up for ya...If so, just know that I didn't just make this up on a whim.
Came from Years of Trial and Error in tha Le Cordon Bleu in tha Stars...Didn't even know what a Spork was back Then.
Now I'm just sharing my Secret List...As I'm on tha Journey, Which has been already Hashtagged...#Win.
Sorry for any stress I put with some relationships, U know who u are...that's truly not my goal.
Yet, I'm determined to Live and Eat My Life at tha highest level possible and I must always bear my Soul.
See, Cuz I want to be tha 'Best There Ever Was' or for u 2 tell ur kid, 'That Galaxia...Was So Cold!'
As I turn off my lights in this Kitchen, and U now know My Secret Recipe to Fun and Luv...I've got just One Thang To Ask...
(Click!)
...Do U Prefer 2 Lick My Spoon....Or My Bowl?
Chef Galaxia.
No comments:
Post a Comment