U Don't Want Me...U Want A Clone Like Me.

As I stare at my Desktop Background, which is a picture of Brittany from Tha Chipettes by tha way.
Don't laugh that my Dream Gurl happens to be a Cartoon, She wasn't one tha other day.
Anyways, I'm looking at how she's dancing with such spirit of Fun...She looks like an easy Lay.
But deep inside she knows how to handle herself, although she wants flowers even when it's not May.

I feel this thang on tonight, so we about to just let loose, forgive me but I feel kind of happy.
It was raining earlier today here in Tha M.I.A., but there's no use in feeling so crappy.
Right now I got my $40 Vince Tank on, Price is Way 2 Krazy... while my hair is still organized yet Nappy.
That's ok, Cuz a hot gurl told me she liked it that way...Sexy Hair always leads to a 'Who's Ur Pappy?!!"

Tonight we're just gonna let this diary speak for itself, and lead us to places unknown.
That could be a number of joints...From Life to Love to How I'm next in line to take King Arthur's Throne.
Wouldn't be interesting if I was that star in one my favorites shows Orphan Black...And Galaxia had a Clone?!
Ah Oh!  Think we found something on tonight...Told ya, Ask Mr. Diary, and Tha Way he has now Shown.

What if I had a Clone?  I mean wouldn't tha be buck wild...Another kid who's all about Fun and Luv.
Somehow I think he'd be tha Bad One...I'll represent Trojan for life, while he'll never wear a Glove.
Or I'll be trying to follow all tha rules of tha land...While he'll be using a pistol to shoot at a Dove.
I'd b all about tha process of finding True Love, while he'll be looking for who can give tha best Skull.

It's about to be unedited on tonight, so I guess right here I should give a 'Galaxian P.A.'
(Aheem!...Aheem!) "Tha following of what ur about 2 read isn't about a game or any play...
Its truly represents tha shareholders of This Galaxy...All Races, Genders, and those that are Gay, 
So Parental Discretion is Strongly Advised, I'm am not reponsible for what I'm about to Say."

Whew!!  Got it just in time...I don't want tha FCC to come after me, everybody is.
There's only one person I've ever changed a post for, that was yesterday cuz she is cool as Fizz.
That won't ever happen again, No Sir-ree Bobby...From here on out I'm giving Tha Galaxy Tha Straight Biz.
Just when I talk about Sex or Adult stuff u know, please just cover up the eyes of ur kids.

Sometimes I wish I had a Clone, cuz boy I attract a lot of attention, and sometimes I wonder why.
All I want outta life is 2 Have Fun and Make...I mean show Luv...Hey, don't forget I'm a single By and By!
Which has been part of tha problem, sorta, because my lifestyle is Outta This Galaxy, although with it I'm quite shy.
Don't be fooled by Job Titles my friend, Trust me when I say I need to have my own Reality Show, produced by that Ryan Seacrest guy!

A topic I wish I could get a Clone to speak upon is if Guys and Gurls can truly be friends?
My Moms talked about seeing somebody at Freakin' like Wal-Mart, and how Homedude was all dipping his Chin.
Then tha lady he was with, was Google-eying my Moms up and down, not knowing my Moms can get crazy now and then.
Mean she went to Mickey D's and almost caused a riot over some Fries...Bet they'll never messed up her order again.

But this Chick was evidently....Jealous...Like, 'He-llllooo', my Moms and Pops have been married almost 30 years.
If u can't handle how good my Moms looks that's tough beans, don't hate step ur game up instead of having a personal seat next to Norm inside of Cheers.
It's funny to me, but this is about to get super real, Cuz I've had waaaayyy too many experiences, with this...Dag gone near has become a Career.
So grab a Heineken, or Blue Ribbon, or Old Milwaukee...Crack it open, and get urself prepared.

I can honestly say that not too many people have had as many episodes with gurls as we have.
Some names that come to mind are Hugh Hefner, Prince, Eddie Murphy, Em Jax, and Jack Nicholson, 2 name a few who's seen a Top Shelf Stash.
With a person in my position, things can get intriguing...and to be honest worth a Comedy Club worth of laughs.
Cuz u have to laugh to keep from crying...Which in actuality is quite sad.

Now I write this diary for tha 3.4% of humans who are in that level of being sexy, and wanting to achieve.
So if ur a Single and very attractive Hot gurl, u'll understand this totally as I Bob and Weave.
People get jealous for no reason dude...To tha point to where they want to kill and their temperature begins to seethe.
Guess I need to bring in some real life episodes to give a Buzz...Consider this u dose of 'Galaxia's Luv Weed.'

First off, let me discuss how I think relationships and dating should be, if I haven't already said enough.
This is from our heart and coming from years of experience, not shooting off of a Hugo Boss cuff.
Just my opinion, I may be wrong...But what if I'm right?  Ah ha!!  I can already see a guy's chest poking out like he's Pseudo-buff.
Dude, u need to chill out, I'll bust my Heineken bottle over ur head!  Then tell my guy Homer to pass me a bottle of his Six-Pack of Duff.

If ur a guy, dating a really attractive woman, U CANNOT expect somebody not to see her beauty as well.
I mean, us guys can get so clingy and possessive, to tha point of thinking Outta of Heaven she literally fell.
Not thinking that she's been around tha block as well...Ask her if Spring Break '07 in Daytona Beach rings a Bell.
But we can look at our 'Gurls' as our Property instead of a person...Sometimes willing to Rent without actually closing tha Sale.

See, that's funny, cuz Rent means dating...and Tha Sale means Marriage...And...ah, that's a bad State Farm joke.
But for real...we think that we own a woman, and shout 'Tickle Me Elmo' whenever it's time to Poke.
Then u take her to that club, take her to a Sit-down, and want her 2 look sexy for you...Like nobody's at Dolphin Mall at tha 8pm Stroke.
Want her all for yourself, yet tell ur boys to come over to grab a sniff of her...I mean is she a sexy dame or an ounce of Coke.

Girls can get wild too, but let me talk about us guys, cuz here in Miami, it's becoming an Epidemic.
Freakin' A!  I spelled that right on the first try...Guess it was worth not falling asleep in those AP English Academics.
But Women have told me Horror stories about their husbands and BF's born here and from other countries...Crazy stuff short of calling tha Paramedics.
Where is tha True Love in Life anymore?  Wearing leather masks, pouring hot oil and holding leather whips tha length of 7 centimeters Metric?

I CAN'T STAND THAT!  Cuz to me it shows that u aren't comfortable enough with how ur treating ur gal.
Like, for instance, I've been around a numerous amount of girls down here in Miami, who look like a flat out dolls...
Have had other guys try to drop a line while I'm with them...Nice Try Buddy!  She only hangs with guys of Galaxian Style.
Matter of fact...I got another story...Yes, tha stories never end...this is gonna be a super long post, but I need to say something cuz this is getting way too wild.

I remember...(Oh, How I Luv Those Words!)

Ok, surprisingly I've never told this story...Oh Well!  Ok, so I used to work at this joint here in tha Magic City.
Tha place was a Haven for gurls who were not only mad cool, but also freaking Drop Dead Pretty.
I was working there for awhile, and this woman began to work there, and her voice had me thinking, "Does She Shave Her Kitty?"
She worked in another part of tha building, but we talked via phone...Like when J. Lo when she was on a video shoot talking to P. Diddy.

So after a few conversations, I was like, one day I would like to see what u actually look like.
She was mad down home cool...Mean, I can handle tha mystery but it'll be cool 2 see u Dopeness on Sight.
So one day she was like, Alright, I'll stop by where u are at, and u can see me...Meant it with all her might.
But I was like, 'Whatever'...U know how these 3-0-5 gurls can be...Almost like a Carnival Cruise...Text them Four Days, and they'll won't respond for 3 nights.

One night, I was Head Down, Chilling getting my Bookworm on, when I heard my door open up like The Red Sea.
I look up, and this absolutely stunning woman is standing there like, "Tha gurl u've been talking to...is me."
We've seen a lot of gurls, so were we cool, as we introduced ourself...When she left we were like O Golly Gee.
So it is possible for a female to have nice manners, be cool and look as Sexy as any of Charlie's Angels, u can pick any of tha three.

She's physically tough to describe, she has short black hair with like blue eyes, but her face was like...Well, no other way to put it...Close 2 Perfection.
Imagine a Barbie Doll with no wrinkles, bags, pimples, she took care of herself well...With no surgeries or Operations.
But if u know my life and lifestyle, things were about to get more interesting, with more enticing Fascination.
Almost as if Cassanova chose me, to whom he'll would come back to Earth in his Reincarnation.

This is when things got wild...So one day I was in my spot, dressed kind of 'Fresh' as some define my look.
Then my door opened up, and my mouth literally almost made an 'Oh' face, cuz this gurl stood there with more curves than a Drivers Ed. book.
She used every prowless of her feminity to her advantage, as I just looked at her, as my knees almost shook.
She was put together like I've never seen before...Like she was a Top Chef in Love, and everybody else were Rookie Cooks.

All she said was, 'U look nice 2day'...And 'Click' went tha door. She went way knowing that her job was done.
Gotta be honest as I write this so forgive me, but she look so good, that tha Lottery I felt I had won.
She had on this Pink Cashmere sweater, with her Boob Cleavage going from her Belly button all tha way 2 her face, Oozing pure Sexual Fun.
Ain't gonna lie, if my window went from tha floor up, I woulda ran to it, so I could get a good look at her Toasty Buns!

I never forget that sight...NEVER!  But I ain't done...So after that I was like, Boy...If God be my witness with her.
Then this one night happened, as our building was closing, it seem almost like I was living in a 'Blur'.
Like when ur having that nightmare about Big Foot, and u wake up with a funny taste in ur mouth, like some Fur.
Or if ur going to tha Emergency Room, on a stretcher...Wondering if having swollen Nuts has a cure?!
(That actually happened by tha way...That's why IDGAF...udge...Happens when Ur Tha Ultimate Risk Taker!)

So on this night, I happened to be leaving, and she was as well, and I asked her where she was headed?
Not in a 'Let's go to RA Sushi so I can split ur California Roll type of way'...Just to see where she lived, No Kidding.
She told me she lived in South Beach, and I light went off, cuz so do I...Still had no thoughts of testing My IKEA Bedding.
My gurl was about to take Public Transpo to tha Beach...U know I can't let a gurl like that be Miami Transit stranded.

Offered her a ride, and she was 'Elated' to say tha least, cuz nobody who looks like her or any woman should be roaming these streets alone.
We walked to my car together, and got in...Then off we went on a journey where neither one of us even picked up our phones.
Got 2 know this Dirty South Gal, pretty well...She's been around a lot of things and experiences, and her Confidence truly shown.
Yet, I didn't trip as I found out this tibit...She was Married, and her husband was waiting for her at Home!

I didn't know how to handle it initially, cuz I just wanted a Cool Babe to be flat out safe.
Not looking to try to make a move on her...No reason to want Hot Sex on a Platter Plate.
Although I would say, even to this day, she still might be an Ultimate First Date.
But, I'm really Joe Cool about situations...I always remember, "Good Things Come 2 Those Who Wait."

After that first trip home though, she would hit me up, and ask if we could hook her up again with a ride.
Of Course, but it was funny cuz people would see us walking out together, knowing she was a Top Prize.
As we would walk, there were looks, this one guy tried to step to her while she was with me, she just dismissed so effortless, Every Dude has tried.
Then came this one night where, all I can think was...'My, My, My'.

I knew it was gonna be a tough trip home, when she came to me with this Camouflage pants on that fitted so right.
That's when I felt like this was getting ultra personal, and how this friendship could turn into a 'Anythang is Possible' type flight.
Then 2 make matters more difficult, we ran into one of tha craziest nights of traffic over on tha A1A to South Beach...Wild night.
It would take an hour and a half to make a usual 15 minute trek from like Tha Children's Museum to Our Cribs...Crazy sight.

But we would just talk, and talk, and talk about everythang, I even asked her about this other gal I had an interest in.
She told me how she was immature, and don't be fooled by her Latin American looks and grin.
I would look over at her like, "This is getting too intimate...and she's looking off tha charts"  these trips can easily turn into a night of Bedroom Sin.
With me wondering what her Husband thought as she was getting a ride home, late night style with this new SoBe friend.

I'ma stop right there with that...So we talking about jealousies...What is a guy like me to do?
I know its hard for sexy gals to have guy friends, cuz usually other girls think she's trying to relationship undo.
Do u only talk to people who are single...And look at social statuses and not care about tha people u knew?
Just because some people can't handle a gesture or a compliment or a post that can turn bad days into a day of Skies so Blue?

A few weeks ago, I had a girl tell me that she couldn't be in a pic with me cuz there's was like more than one guy in tha photo too.
Another time I was at a party, dancing with this gurl, and her gurlfriend told her to stop dancing with me, cuz even though she was having fun, our rhythm looked 2 much like glue.
Her boyfriend got jealous easily, even though he didn't want 2 dance, which is such a crime Homegurl should sue.
I'm asking what is should u do if u think somebody is cool, they in a relationship, and ur down with tha rest of their crew?

Should make this a Two-Parter, but...If u want to stop reading right now do so....




Ok.  For those who stuck around, let's continue...So do we choose our friends if they aren't a threat?
Like, if this gurl is attractive, but not Cool and Attractive, cuz then we think about her booty wanting to be Pet.
Or if a guy has some Fame and Cash, does a gurl be like, we cool but my BF would trip, even though that guy may just wants to hang around a chick who has her plan set.
Starting to think that tha answer is, 'Yes' to all those questions, which is a shame that I haven't figured out yet.

Tonight's post ain't for everybody, but for those who feel like they can be hated on for Being cool, looking sexy, Having Money and Being just a 'Natural Me'.
I have learned from tha girls I'm around, to have a Low Jealousy level, cuz a Sexy personality with Attractive Sass, everybody will see.
You cannot be tripping if another guy or gurl sees something special in ur mate, I think I know where that problem lies Fa Shizzy.
See, its this...When somebody else sees The Beauty u see, whether they actually want that person or just admire them, that forces YOU to step u game up, or u might can become Option B.

I've ALWAYS said this, and you can take it 2 tha Bank...If I'm treating my Gal right in every way, then there's nothing for me to be worried about.
You can flash ur Maserati, Whisper things in her ear, if she's willing to leave so easily, then our relationship was built on doubt.
Guess I like to treat ladies as tha Gems they are, and know that tha Fun I offer I feel is tha very Top.
Then I guess have so much respect for myself, that if Having Fun and Sharing Laughs ain't good enough, U can leave cuz Somebody else will gladly take ur Spot!

Does that mean, don't fight for ur mate...No...But YOU should set tha standard, and not wait until somebody else gets interest.
Take her out, Give a Back Rub when needed, or a Motivating word...Money ain't everythang, but sometimes surprise her with a Little Black Dress.
Or just a phone call, NOT A TEXT, to show that u want to hear her voice, and how that makes u dream of her Caress.
While perhaps leaving hand written notes or flowers at her door unexpectedly, to know that no matter what She's always gonna get ur Very Best.

I'm a Romantic, but this is how I was raised and what I saw, and I think Love should be no other way.
Somebody might say, that's some Bull...It's a new generation, but If my gal can't get with my quirky and geeky semi-cute ways, that 'Single' I will stay.
Everybody doesn't think like I do, or do things like I do...I mean I look at Relationships almost as a 3 Act Play.
The Opening Act...Tha Courtship in Between...And depending how u look at it, Tha Final Act when the Dress or Blouse Curtain goes up Glad-lay!

Just had to write this tonight, cuz just about All My Life, I've been caught in situations where Wives and Girlfriends of others have been attracted to me and my Style.
U don't know if they're unhappy in their relationship, or if I'm tha only one they can act normal or with their fantasies around, but it can get wild.
To where I don't know if I should try to make somebody's day, or just let them Suck over Life...I pray all tha time on what I can do without Breaking a Guy Code's Guild.
Guess F' it, I'll only do thangs with Gurls who are Sexy, Cool and Single, and here in Miami, it won't be difficult for me to start a Fresh Pile.

Somebody has to feel me on tonight...C'mon Now...This is Real Life and not just off tha tip of my Dome.
Guys and Gurls like us bring a different energy, which can be tough for others to handle with a comb.
Just know this though...I've seen a lot of Mommy's and if I want ur girl, I have NO PROBLEM telling her straight up, I want to bone.
But for that Elite who have a lot going for them, and just happen to be single...The best gift Cupid can give...

...Is a Non-Galaxy Born Clone.


Austino