Man, I committed a crime today, by not carrying around my cell phone. It's like whenever u don't have ur camera, that's when u see something wild. Today, as I was walking the streets of South Beach, I saw a crazy picture, well not picture, but I had a view of this guy with his face down, lying in the middle of the sidewalk passed out. And when I mean in the middle, I'm not talking about on the curb, or up against no mango tree, this dude was stretched from sidewalk block to sidewalk block. I didn't know if he got hit by a smooth criminal or if this was just another victim of participating in a snow party down here in Miami. How come I never see anybody carrying ski's around here in tha M.I.A?!! But I thought about walking over and giving him that "Hey, buddy..." tap on his shoulder, but I was afraid that he woulda rolled over with a grin like he just inhaled some of that grinning gas that Jack Nicholson sprayed when he was the Joker, so I just let him be and went on to Publix thinking about more important things like I hope they got some bread in stock, cuz a brotha needs to get his whole grain on this weekend!
And with that...we are back. It's been an eventful last several posts...but I feel very...feel more stronger. We've been saying that once u've gone through something, and hopefully u live to tell it, u become better because of it. I mean, if Samuel L. Jackson wasn't a crackhead in Jungle Fever would he be able to become Mace Windu in Star Wars?!! Just like we are learning in life, before you can date a Playboy bunny you sometimes have to deal with a Jessica Rabbit...I don't know if that even makes since, but it sounds good so just roll with me!
I've been seeing some wild stuff going on. Feeding animals has got to be one of the most expanding professions around. I mean...I talk a lot about my dude here in the beach, in which I call, "The Original Cat Daddy". This guy is like a guru...but the other day, I was walking through the alley here next to Meridian and like 6th street, and I see that he now has some competition. This other guy was getting his materials ready and beginning to lay out his food too. In tha same area! I didn't know if this was gonna turn into the ultimate feline contests where u give each cat a blindfold and a cigarette and u gotta choose whether X or Y is the leading brand among the purry demorcratic party. But this could get interesting...And I see folks all the time lay out all this food....Whiskas...and Purina...heck, I think I saw this dude on my street of Jefferson Ave., lay out a whole 3 piece meal from KFC, with two packets of honey on the side, just to help these cats, that he don't even know out! I can almost see one cat purring on the telephone like, "U gotta make it over to South Beach, if u thought the tuna was good downtown, wait til u get a load of this organic tufu they have over here!" It's wild dude!
Football season has officially kicked off today. With colleges in full swing. Saw UM won...I think SC (Southern Cal) plays later tonight. There is something about college football isn't it? Maybe it's tha bands or the theme songs or tha history, but u get a little pumped when u get to follow a program year after year. They claim that the BCS Championship is gonna be held...where u might ask?...Yep, down here in the land of tans and palm trees, in Miami. That's going to be wild. The Orange Bowl brings in a lot of "festivities", if u know what I mean, and with both games being down here, I'm going to have to rest for like 28 hours straight cuz I can already feel that I'm going to be going DJ Khaled "Hard" for like 2 weeks straight.
Is that all we do here in Miami? Party? Not really. It's like the rest of the globe just associates that with us. And even though there's a club, supermarket and a church withing a 200 feet radius, doesn't mean that we don't do other things. Sometimes it's just like a comedian who shows up at a small cocktail party for a few friends. You always have that one person who's like, "U're so funny, tell me a joke." And even though u aren't in tha mood, and only tell jokes that are followed by tha paper distribution of Trumps's and Rockefeller's, u tell one anyway just to show that u are worthy of the hype. I think Miami is like that in some ways. I know a lot of people, and sometimes myself, who have gone out on the town, just to show that they are the king of the dancehall. Folks are dag gone near about to pass at work from being out too late, crying, "I'm not gonna make it through this shift." ...and then in like 3 hours, they are doing the latest salsa moves, that makes u wonder why they didn't try out for Dancing With The Stars: Amateur Edition! By the way, fellas, when ur spinning a girl, always snap that finger while they are in the middle of spinning like a top...it makes the experience much more fun, trust me on this one!
But there is so much to do than just party ur arse off down here. I'm about to crank it up to another notch to make sure that I experience some of the low-key fun things down here. That could be riding the Metromover at 11pm, which could be an adventure that may require the Miami-Dade transit protection kit...all the way to clicking glasses with some fun loving folks up in Bal Harbour. Life is about having fun, and experiencing it..."to tha max". U're gonna hear the phrase a lot with us. U only get one life, so u might as well get out of ur turtle wax shell, and get u shine on! That's a good one...Ah, boy...I need my own show...bad!!
I'm being told to stop right here, and thus we will.
Until next time...
Cherrio mates!
Austino Galaxia.
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