S. By S.

Oh, how learning was so much fun back then!  Here's a video for ya!

When do you know when to move on?

Huh, right?!

 I mean what indications tell you that a relationship or career or location, isn't in you best interest anymore?

That's one heck of a question.

I'm gonna write this thing, so we're warning you now.

And we gonna write this thang one sentence at a time.

Has anyone ever felt like they've had everything, but like had nothing to show for it?

Like no matter how hard you work...

How much u follow 'tha book'...

The more patient u get...

The more difficult it gets...

And u just wonder, am I cursed or something?

I really don't care who reads this now or in 2029, I have to speak on this.

Do u stop when u have a succession of things not go ur way?

When the fun leaves do u say, "That's it, it's time."?

C'mon somebody give Galaxia an answer cuz I wanna know.

The road to the top, is so difficult.

Nowadays we get blinded by all this microwave success that we see in magazines and on TV.

But if u really, and I mean really wanna make a difference that's gonna last.

There's a hefty bag price you have to pay that's filled with sacrifices you don't wanna make.

U just flat out don't want to do them, but u have to.

As we continue on our journey through the stars, we are going through lessons unparalleled.

It seems like everyday there is something.

Yes, we have the ultimate amount of faith.

Yes, our confidence is still there.

But sometimes u question the system.

It's like the 2011 Miami Heat, u know the ones who made it to the Finals but lost to Dallas.

U know the talent was there, but why didn't they win that year.

Losing on their homecourt and everything.

I literally was by the Mavs locker room...literally!

And to walk past all these cameras, hear all this noise, listen to Jason Terry on the mic...

It made me sick.

It's almost like no matter what they did, it just wasn't meant for the squad to win.

Kinda weird.

Like we said earlier...

When do you know when to move on?

Wow...

Perhaps, I'm answering my own question...

Maybe I haven't moved on.

Huh.

Maybe when I see a girl who did me wrong, and SHE ignores me, I still get ruffled under my feathers...

When we did nothing wrong ourself.

Perhaps when I think so much about the painful process instead of the glory in the end...

It's like a chick who's pregnant...

I'm so busy thinking about all the ups and downs of the 9 months....

That I forget about the joyful presence being brought into this world.

If a woman ever thought about the pain, she wouldn't even think about having a kid.

Just hit us again.

Along with the Heat example and bringing a shorty into being...

The most painful weeks are right before u actually give birth.

Yep.

It's during those weeks that anticipation fills, and u utter almost every day...

"I just want to get this over with."

Now I know I'm talking 2 myself, and maybe somebody else on that one cuz...

Whenever u get close to ur dreams and that over-the-top blessing...

Yet, it still hasn't come enough...

And on top of that u have to waddle around waiting for ur water to break...

U begin to just not enjoy the process anymore.

And forget about what celebration is a mere seconds away.

U begin to become a little jaded.

Like, "I've waited long enough, let's just do this, get home, and rest."

This perfectly fits what we've been going through as of late.

U might even see some of that within our diary.

It's just tougher when u are put into peculiar real life situations.

Where...

My mistake, and one that won't be repeated...

Was one of trying to please everybody.

Trying to be the one where...

Ok, Big Gizzy in Heaven, this person is having a bad day...

This person seems to post lonely Facebook messages...

This person doesn't smile anymore...

I have to be the one to make their day.

Me.

But perhaps that wasn't my job.

When ur the person who always has to cook dinner...

Sooner or later u think...

It'll be nice for someone else to hook u up.

That's how I felt.

We felt like we was cooking up this five-star dish...

Where the menu is the picking of whatever u like...

And my plate was just sitting without a bite on the table...

And then to make matters work...

They claimed they weren't hungry for your meal.

Yet when u see them, they got a sloppy, greasy quadruple beef burger in their mouth?

Why would lie and eat something that will only give u momentary satisfaction, for ur tongue...

When u had a choice of something that long term will...

Satisfy ur tongue, stomach, health, mind, soul and any other future cravings.

U eat that and u'll be hungry again in 2 hours.

Eat our dish, and u'll not only be satisfied but will be talking about it for the rest of ur life.

Is it too real tonight?

Jokes aside, we feel what we jotting now...

And I know SOMEBODY, may not be you...

Heck that might not even know who we are....

Yet.

But somebody knows what we talking about.

This is what goes on when u striving...

This diary...

Getting back to the Heat.

So after that disappointing loss in the Finals.

Yes.

They soaked.

Yes.

They let the blinds down and didn't pick up the phone or read the papers.

But after all that.

And people forget this.

They did what?

They changed.

Changed not only their system...

But they changed their mindset of their system.

If u remember the beginning of last season, the Heat went all Video Game.

Run...Run...Run.

But what I loved about it, was this simple transformation thought process.

They no longer adapted.

They said...

"You are gonna have to adjust your play to us."

Meaning...

The Heat wasn't a conventional team...

So it made no sense...

I feel this y'all....I really do....

It made no sense for them to play a conventional way.

What sense does it make for me to walk up on a girl...

And spit lines, and tell her I'm gonna give her the world...

When that's not how I do things?

I'm more of an romantic...

Borderline playboy...

Meaning...

I'm gonna be straight up as "beep"...

And if u can handle it and like the truth...

Cool.

If not, then we move on...

But we know we are special...

And u gonna have to step ur game up to our level.

That's just an example...

But u get it...

That's why throughout this diary...

And it's tough to do.

We've been saying...Be yourself.

No matter what.

U may have to tweak some things like The Heat.

But u rather go out on ur own terms.

If I'm gonna flunk a test...

And I have a time or two. (Sorry Mom and Dad, I forgot to tell u about those...)

At least let me flunk knowing that I did everything to pass.

Cuz there ain't nothing worse...

This one time a teacher gave me a test while in college...

I didn't study.

I might've been partying or playing video games.

Or worse for a college student...

Shopping.

I get to class and I know I'm not prepared.

I sit down, in the front of the class to make it worse.

Cuz it's nowhere to hide.

The professor drops the test on my desk.

And perhaps the only time in my scholastic career...

I actually laughed out loud!!

Ha!

So what was my next move from here.

I'm being too honest tonight.

But it's part of what's going on in all this...

I got the test.

And it's not that Scantron AP US History stuff...

U can't go.

ABBA CABA DABA ABBA!

No.

This was grown up stuff.

Where u had formulas and business theorems.

I was in trouble.

So the next decision to make is what.

C'mon.

If u've ever taken a test u KNOW u were gonna flunk.

What's the next thought that crosses ur mind?

Yep.

How do I turn this paper in so that the teacher...

And the rest of the class...

Won't think I flunk it!

I know Julie is crafty and smart.

So if she gets done in 1 hour and 50 minutes.

I'm usually good for 3 questions answered every two classes.

So if I calculate that correctly.

That means I should turn my paper in 41 minutes after she does.

You don't think I did that!

A brotha was staring at a blank packet of paper like...

"This is ridiculous."

Then of course the person who never raises their hand in class...

Turned their paper in before me, so that through my calculations all off!!

Go down with your best game.

If u give ur best, then u probably won't go down at all.

So the Heat won it all this year.

But they had to first experience the ultimate embarrassment and pain.

I needed to recall that whole process.

We sometimes think about what people got.

Instead of what they had to go through.

That's what this diary, I believe is all about.

One day, we're gonna really, really be...

Exposed.

But what happened when...

When he was close and thought about giving up...

What was Galaxia's feeling?

Through the blind faith moments...

Or the decisions of whether to save or spend...

Or doing those times when u just have to go through a day whether u want to or not.

We aren't holding nothing back.

Not ashamed of anything.

Cuz I know that one day, when it's all said and done.

Somebody might read this and be like, "Cool".

I needed this.

I wanted something like this to help me.

It's perhaps a blueprint.

See what happens.

Tough moments make tough people.

And gulp...I gotta go...

My bags all packed and ready to go.

The moment we've been pra...ying and preparing for...Ouch!... has arrived.

And I want you...Help me!... to be the first to kn...ow...this....

"My water just broke."

With Love.
Austino Galaxia.