Blame It On...

One of the all-time jams!  Put ur 3-D glasses on and let's jam!

Ok...we're gonna let these fingers write, and see what happens on tonight.  No ideas...just trust our little fingees....here we go...

If u could travel back in time..would u?  If u could travel into the future...would u?  Or should u?  Yikes!  That's a wild question to ponder...or few questions to ponder.  Today, was one of those "let's just get it over with" type of days.  Feel pretty good and all, but for some reason our mindset toward the end of the afternoon and beginning of the evening was one of, "let me just lay my head on my pillow, and let me be!"  I know that I wasn't the only one thinking that on today.  Just by the wild and crazy looks that I saw on many of people's faces on today.  Folks looked so...mad...upset...depressed...I saw this one woman...she threw her cigarette so hard, that I was like "Dag, it's ok homegirl...MTV's Diary will one day return to the air! Chill out with flinging those Camels ok?!!"  It was just weird though...go to the grocery store, and just about all the carts have run out...everybody's in the laundrymat washing clothes, my dude is pouring out his brown baggie of a 40 oz. filled with Corona's new flavor of  "apple juice" into a small Styrofoam cup, which is wacky cuz what does the cup do for that juice?

Hmmm...this is gonna take a lot of guts to write about.  I mean A LOT...but something tells me that I should write a little something so...here we go...I hope this doesn't get me into trouble, but this is our diary, so I'm gonna let go...(Huge Blow!)

Many of people have asked me if we've ever been drunk...plastered...wasted...hanging by a thread....a phone call away from AA...seen with underwear on our head...well, that last one, maybe...just kidding.  But a lot of times people, especially when we go out to hang, what are ur drinking habits Galaxia?  Well, it depends...

I had a family member who passed away, and I believe that a lot of her early death was affected by her habits.  That made us look at drinking in a little different light than others.  Does that mean that I would never put something us up to our mouth...Heck naw!  I may throw some Champagne down coming up soon, just because we survived some of this drama.  As we always believed, if Jesus can drink some wine, then hey, who are we to pass, right?!  But I don't do it as often, just because of some weird experiences...

I remember being involved at a party being held on the beach.  And when I say beach, I mean like actually being on the sand and having a good time.  "Interacting" with people, perhaps a girl or two were involved in some sand wrestling, where there was no "1-2-3" if u know what I mean.  Just living and having a good time...I'm a beach kid, so it was as Catwoman would say..."Puurrrrfect".  So on this starry night, I was downing something kind of light, like some Smirnoff Ice or something.  And u know how weak those things are...but if ur downing them at a 3 per 15 minute ratio, that stuff can put a hurting on u, like Robin Givens did Mike Tyson back in tha day!  And that's another thing when u drink beverages that are simple in taste yet as complex as a Miami girl in...did I just say that?!!..in after effects.  For instance, when u go to a get together or a picnic, or discoteca or  heck a freakin' 8 year old birthday party...and u got somebody doing their best Coyote Ugly imitation, jumping all on top of some Yogi Bear picnic table cloth, shaking up some concoction recipe that they found in the attic of an old house from the Prohibition years!  After they get done shaking like a saltshaker, they finally pour out this liquid slime into a cup or if u're from the hood, a Ball jar or some Smuckers jelly jar, with old crusty butter still dangling on the lid (Oh, if u like seriously want to date me, u MUST NOT get the butter mixed in with the jam!) Straight up!  That's what we call a deal breaker...I'm getting myself into some trouble aren't eye?  Now where were we?...

So after u get that Echo Cooler inside ur beverage holder with the curvy straw (That's an 80's thang!)...how do u know if the drink is good or not?...By the reaction...Usually, the person who's drinking it would first utter a cuss word of their liking, that's first...Am I being real tonight or not?!!...After that, how do u know the drank is on point...they will then say..."This tastes just like Kool-Aid!"...C'mon party animals, I know I ain't the only one who knows about this...so right when u hear those words u know that u either better begin to call the 1-800 number to the designated driver hotline, dust off the old VHS recorder because "Little" Nikki is about to do that Playboy worthy trick of hers when she flips a stack of quarters that are facing down and somehow flips them over, this time facing back up (Use ur imagination on that one!) or u begin to go upstairs to ur Air Jordan shoebox and count how much money u have saved up, cuz u know that the cops are gonna come knocking around 2am tonight!  U know that deal...

During this get together of beautiful people, I was...let me also say, and people down here in Miami can attest to it...when it's hot outside, and a drink is tasting all Fruity Pebbles...that can be a weird combination...it's almost when Flavor Flav was hittin...I mean supposedly "dating" Brigitte Nielson.  U feel them, but u're like, "What?"  I'm not hating one iota...NOT ONE!   Ms. Nielson is fine... So when u mix tha humidity and the great taste, less filling vibe...u can be throwing them down quickly and without a New York second of thought.  That's what got tha kid.  I was tossing them down like I was about to leave to Ibiza the next day on my private yacht, and got caught up in tha hype of having pretty girls on my sides...it happens...and next thing u know it...I'm getting my sip on.

But u know the funny thing about it...and at this party, stuff began to go down a little bit...u know when alcohol mixes u begin to see "true feelings"...like those u don't wanna talk or speak to me in class or on the job, but once the bubbles come to the surface of the night, then all kinds of stuff is being uttered and all kind of body parts are being pressed on each other...we should have a beauty pageant of who is the most beautiful person in the world when somebody is intoxicated!  I mean...for real... give the judges some Ciroc and OJ, put on the classic anthem "Guantanamera" by Julio Iglesias and let the games begin!  I bet I win...Now that I think about it, I don't know if that's a good thing or not!!!  Ha, ha!!...but the funny thing about that night is that I was good that night and into the morning...but it was the afterwards effect that had a brotha be like, "This Smirnoff done (messed) me up!"  I played basketball later that morning, and...no.  So that was one bad experience with...at least that type of drink.

People have tried to get me drunk.  I mean like on a mission soft taco shell, type of get me drunk.  My whole thing is that I want to remember how crazy...or how much fun I had somewhere.  I cringe when somebody says, "I don't know how I got home."  Or "I made out with who??"  Yeah, u live and learn, but still...and this is coming from somebody who's been riding passenger in a car, with somebody "buzzed" up, and telling me that "I drive better when I'm drunk."  Please don't get urself in that situation, cuz drunk driving...ain't cool...AT ALL.  We've seen it so much down here, everywhere, but u come on the A1A past downtown...I might be coming back from a Miami Heat game, and sometimes I leave very late, and folks coming over to our hood of South Beach, be getting their swerve on in their Porsche Panamera or what have u,  and u just...u just have to be so careful.

We say this, because there is no doubt in our mind that this season upcoming here in Miami is about to be wild.  We can just feel it in the air, that there's gonna be a lot of wild activities, parties going on, people just wiling out.  And we all, me included, need to be responsible.  We had no idea what we were gonna write about...but this is what came about.  Perhaps, somebody is wondering if they can have fun without drinking the night away.  U certainly can.  We go out all the time, and sometimes don't even lift a glass...usually somebody is lifting it for us to our mouth, but...in all honestly just be u.  If u do drink, be responsible.  Talking to myself, in both instances....Just don't reach that danger zone, where u begin to blackout like a Britney Spears album, or begin taking off ur heels and walking down Collins Ave. barefoot, don't do that...everybody has cell phones, and u will be on Instagram probably before u even make it home safe.  Just sayin'...Us guys must watch it...I know I do.  U can get caught up so fast in the music, or boobs in ur face, that u forget how quickly things can get outta hand.  And ladies, always remember...

There's nothing worse than a beautiful drunk girl. 

That's it for tha kid...another embarrassing and foot-in-tha mouth post.  But...whatever, u're getting the true us...

That funny, after all this writing...I just realized something...

I need a drink!  Ha, ha!!
(Just Kidding!)

Austino Galaxia.