You know what, this Bucket List movie done inspired me. Let me see, what time is it...Ahh 9:53 pm. Perfect. I can't go out like this, you never know who I might bump into. Seems like folks are watching us wherever we go. Earlier today as I was parking tha ride, this chick was just staring at us as she was walking by as we were about to get out. She looked like South American, with half cut top revealing her entire stomach so that u can see a little INSANITY workout definition, and those purple short shorts...Amazing how these girls can give us "that look", u know. Our life is just so crazy. Like we've gone through all the episodes of somebody who should be on TV or in magazines on tha constant, yet...Well, I guess that's what tonight's gonna be about. I'm gonna do this South Beach style, and just rock tha tank top with some Nike's. A bandanna, yeah, gotta put that on as well, hopefully they will see me in a Young Hollywood sense, and not in a 'I'm about to gank u for all u got' way. Just got done eating some Turkey Burgers, so let me toss this trash out, everybody knows how I can't stand to have basura just hanging around my joint. Alright, hey, this is different, let's have some fun. Got everythang? And we're off.
(Click!)
Just gonna go to tha back and dump this thang in this dumpster, that is...(Euh!)...Who tha...(Euh!)...Why is this dumpster like stuck so u can't dump any garbage inside. It's more crooked than, well I better not say that. (Euh!...Euh!)...One more time...(Euh!). There we go. Man, it took a lot to move that thang. The stars are shining so bright out here in South Beach. A perfect night to take tha ride. Ok. Now...where did I park. I remember, parking is so crazy down here in tha beach. Especially tonight, as it's a Friday night, and everybody and their Mamacita is coming to tha neighborhood to get crunk up. Tonight is just one of those nights that I need to myself. And...
(Ding!...Ding!...Ding!...Ding!)
Let me close this door. (Phoomph!) I don't even know where I'm going, huh, that's almost symbolic of my life right now. But u gotta push through, and u gotta motivated urself even when u feel like enough is still not enough.
(Zip...Zunnnnnnn...)
Tha top is definitely coming down on tonight. Gonna let tha wind blow, and have a little me time. Hook up tha Galaxy to Galaxia's radio. Who's gonna be tha one to start this bad boy off?!! Snoop...Daft Punk...LL Cool J...Let's warm up a little bit. My homegurl, Ms. Ortiz tha other day was talking about her "crush" Adam Levine. Like every freakin' girl in tha world loves this guy! Who does he think he is...Me?!! He's stealing my clientele! So let's jump it off with some Maroon 5. Tonight it's gonna be just me and tha road, and a lot of mind clearing conversation...Lights on, and we up!
(Oh!...This-Love-Has taken it's toll on-me....She-said Good-bye...Too many times befooorre...And-her-Heart is breaking in front of me...And I-haaave no-choice...)
Cuz I won't say Good-bye anymore. Ohhhh...Ohhhh....Ohhhh....This is my joint right here! I still can remember tha first time I heard of this mega group. I was actually interning at this modeling agency up in Chicago. With those crazy girls up there! So many stories, so many stories involving tha sexy ladies of tha Windy City. Who woulda thought that years later I'll be...stuck in traffic! (Honk! Honk!) Folks down here in South Bea...It's a right turn lane in front of 5th and Alton, why do u wait til tha last minute before u wanna come over into my lane?! Don't make no good sense?! Now I gotta wait at tha light. This whole neighborhood has changed since I've first come down here. There was no Publix, right here. Or Best Buy or whatever. I've seen South Beach go from being this 'ish when I first came down with MTV holding awards shows with tha frequency of a coffee shop on Calle Ocho being packed for breakfast. With all the Real Estate boom, then I've seen it go down a little bit. Now it's like off tha chain! Everybody wants to be down here in Miami, and especially hang out here in tha Beach. We're blessed. And that's probably why we have trouble moving, cuz tha city is one of tha future. And very soon, it's gonna be the ultimate International jewel of America, and maybe tha world. If it's not already... Just watch....Ooop! There's tha light....I'm up!!
(Screech!!!...Zooommm!!!)
Oh, that wind feels so good. This is tha worst light in America, this one in front of Star Island, it's just turned yellow and is about to turn...
(Zoooooom!!!)
Ah....Red. Suckers! I can't get stopped by no red lights tonight. Not today! So where should we go tonight? Feel like going all tha way up to Palm Beach. See what's jumping up there or how about Fort Lauderdale. I can still make it to Blue Martini, who my guy used to tell me back in tha day be jumping up by tha Galleria Mall up there. He told me it be nothing but Cougars in there, that be on tha prowl for some young pups, if u catch my drift! Nothing like a 4-H woman. And I ain't talking about no Youth Club that be planting no Yokoshima bonsai trees on Saturday mornings either! I'm talking about a woman who knows how to Handle her kids...Handle her emotions...Handle her money...And of course, Handle her man. Beep it!! I just got paid today, so I don't even care about getting a ticket...I'm about to hit zing this thang to about Ninety!
(Zooooom...Zooooom!!!)
Flying up I-95 with Miami to our back, heck, I might go all tha way up to New York, feeling tha way I'm feeling tonight. That'll be funny, go up there to get me a Coney Island Hot Dog, and then drive right back. Don't know what would happen if on my way back, I found out they forgot tha mustard?!! We taking tha turnpike tonight...
(DaDa Da! DaDa Da!)
What was that?!! I guess I need to watch those markers for the express lanes. Oh, Sun Pass, everybody's favorite toll system. Ha ha! Remember when...wait I gotta look for a new song...But u remember when a few years...a...go. This is a good one. But when tha tolls were like $7?!! Then the express lanes were going slower than the regular ones. They did like an investigation on it. It felt like an episode of Cheaters. U had drivers wearing undercover cameras in their hats or on their bras as they were passing through. If they woulda had a few more cameras, "Who is this (Female Dog)?", that video doc woulda won like an Emmy! Is it me or how come everybody who gets caught cheating on that show is like walking out of a Country Western Chuck Wagon restaurant or a strip mall with nothing but 99 cent stores, Quickie marts that sale 6,000 minute phone cards for five dollars, or nail salons that give u tha Medi/Pedi, and all tha gossip from Leroy left Lashonda down tha street to why William Levy is sleeping with this bi-sexual chica from Little Havana cuz she heard from a friend of a friend, who's a second cousin of her sister, who went to Coral Gables High School with her half-sister, on her daddy's side, who swore saw him in walking hand in hand with this fake bonita down Miracle Mile last night. The same source who allegedly saw Big Foot go Ape Mad at a Foot Locker when he was "told" they didn't have no shoes his size!?! Ah-Yi-Yi! U get that and more all for tha low price of $10. Speaking of which...Let me turn this joker up...
"Brand new truck, butter soft seat.." Yeah, this is my ride out joint here! But I'm thinking about getting my nails done in this confetti nail polish. Some people like, some people say 'No'. Maybe folks think I'm switching teams like going from a Wolverine to a Buckeye, but I'm verrrrry comfortable in my sexuality. I just like to have fun. Hold on, this is my part here...
I Luv Q-Tip!...But getting back to this, I'm really comfortable in my skin and my sexiness as a man. Mean, others get tats and do all these other things to express themselves. Right?!! I still say I'm gonna get my belly button pierced, I really love that on a girl. Matter of fact tha girl, I can't say that. I've already been writing way too much lately in my diary. We shoulda kept it bubble gum. It's too Winterfresh. Cuz we talking from our heart, and how we feel about girls, or how this or that girl is on our mind, and they or she don't even know it. Sure somebody wonders who I might be talking about, the funny thing is she's right on my Instagram! But I got a feeling that she knows, like she can feel it if she reads this, that I'm talking about her or they. If it happens, it happens. Our life is such that it's a new experience with a beauty seemingly everyday, whoever I end up with has to know that. It's a wild lifestyle, and a lot of eyes on us, so she has to be strong enough to realize that. But up until then, we just gonna be patient and things will work themselves out. As my Mom told me tha other day, "God is just preparing her for you." That's great cuz I have an impeccable taste in women!! Ha Ha! Oh, I crack myself up...See, u prepare food so it can be eaten, and if a woman is being prepared, then she's being prepared to be...Guess only tha freaks caught that one! (Wink!) The wine singer Joe did say '69 was a very good year! Let me stop....
I need to stop and use the bathroom. But there ain't nowhere too...Bunk it! Let me pull over near this grass...Gotta take a wizz so bad. Come on, zipper....Freakin' Seven Jeans, Come on....Yeah....Oh!!!....Yeah!! That feels so good. Like really, really goo...
(Woop-Wop!)
What tha....
(DON'T MOVE! AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THA AIR WHERE I CAN SEE THEM.)
Great...Just. Freakin'. Great.
To Be Continued....
Galaxia.
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