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| This was tha show...TGIF anybody?!! |
And we're off and running...
Tonight we are feeling a little...cheated. Sounds funny don't it, but it's true. If it wasn't for me getting nearly killed by this Metrobus (Miami Dade Transit), I might be going off right now. This bus like, beyond a shadow of a doubt ran a blantley red stoplight as I was about to cross the street and dag gone near took us out...it was ridiculous...I mean what do u do when city workers begin to break the law, I guess it turns into an anarchy society. Yes, I knew one day that word would come in handy! But...this guy was walking with me after I shouted, "He ran that stoplight like a mug!" He was smiling but talking lengthy in complete espanol, so I knew what he was talking about, but then again I had no DJ Clue, what my compadre really was laying down...but life is like that...we all have that universal language....so....
Ok. Time to get real. Right now...boy, how can we describe how we feel right now. I'm a combination of positive mixed with the quarter tablespoon of disrespect mixed with an unknown ingredient simply called p. oh mixed again with an overflowing dose of ultra-Swagoo. Does that make sense? I guess I should explain...Has anyone ever just been like...knew they've been on their "A" game and gone through certain steps only to feel like it still didn't work out how u thought it might...and left u with the feeling that of "That was a waste of my time"...plus money, especially if u count that eye got a parking ticket through the whole 30-day Lupe Fiasco?!
I'm ok, but I'm not ok. I think it's these moments in life where u really have to dig down deep within to find out how are u gonna react? With our ego being as it is right now...Wow! That sounded conceited...but we are really at a point where we feel like when one door closes another one is bound to happen. It will...just because. That's why I feel like it's our call of duty (Special Ops) to make sure we relay the message that just because things don't go ur way, doesn't mean that things aren't still working in ur favor. I know we have many situations where we were like dang, why couldn't I gotten that gig or why didn't I hook up with this girl or how come I couldn't get that condo...u wonder, but u just never know what may be lurking around the corner. It just may be someone dressed as Bigfoot with a special delivery and a song!
I feel another story coming around here somewhere...we shall see. But for real...just because u hear a "no" or get a rejection letter or email in the ur inbox doesn't mean that u're not too far off from where u should be. It might just mean ur right there. For real...that's why, as we have very recently learned, u have to take the risks and go through the steps even if u don't get that leading role. It's almost like an actor going for audition after audition, and even though he might never get that part in the biopic of Ron Jeremy, he still is getting valuable experience that in the future that will prevent him from getting screwed again. Wait...I got to write that one down on a piece of paper...Ron Jeremy...prevent him from getting screw...ed....a...gain. Yeah...I'm gonna use that for the VIP portion of my freak...I mean Love conference next year, remember circle tha date...February the 29th...got it! Ok....but u gained so much by going through the process that sometimes ur name begins to circle within the inner circles and then u never know...a brunch at somebody's house, people talking...bada-boom bada-bing...u name might get brought up...Boom! And ur off...so that's why u have to do somethings that u don't wanna do, cuz u never know when that pain will become a pleasure.
Sometimes u have to let things play out...see we live in a society where when things look to be going in a certain direction we automatically begin to call out the final result not knowing that that predetermined factor may not turn out like u think. For example, the weather...now I can talk about this because I once was going to be a meterologist as I was growing up, memorizing all the songs that played on the 'nines' every ten minutes...it can be like, Sunday, and the forecast for next, not this, next Monday can call for a 30% chance of showers, and we trip like our whole plans are ruined. That's why I don't use the "H-word" down here in Miami. (The U's nickname!) Because I don't want to speak something that can be negative into existence if it hasn't officially developed yet. If it's a Tropical Storm that has a possibilty...ok...and I know u have to be prepared, u don't wanna be out looking for baked beans with something 5 minutes from you...but don't keep harping on something...u never know, maybe the Great Weatherman in the sky, might send it else where...
I guess all this comes from being...disappointed and forcefully molded into that thinking. I'm learning so much that not only how u think, but what u say, affects so much of who u are. If u say u're broke...then guess what u're broke, and more than likely ur actions are gonna go towards that...And if I hear another sexy baby girl say "I look like a pig", I promise u I might just throw a shoe in tha ocean or something...if u think that ur unattractive, then what do u think others see? Even if u're striving, as we all are, sometimes u just have dig in the cupboard and pull out some egotistical confidence where u don't care what others think, u feel good, look good and whatever...no matter what. And by the way some folks dress down here in the MIA, they may have been overdosing on that 'E.C.'!! But u got to do that sometimes...
Within all this, I'm talking and writing to myself really...things aren't gonna go ur way all the time. I heard a great silly goofy quote the other day...
"I can hit a home run everytime...but not...every...bloody...time!"
Meaning that ur confident in what u can do, but sometimes it doesn't happen. Don't let that ruin ur day or how u date or...Alright. I got another story...Now we keep telling all these stories, I don't know why, cuz they reveal us...but...whatever...sometimes it's like too weird to talk about this or that...we say we're gonna write a book and/or make a movie on our life. I hope this diary is living proof that we aren't joking around when we say that...this diary is one of a kind, and I hope one day we all will look back on it and just shake our head either in disbelief or simply in thinking..."This guy is stupid crazy!!" As I've said before, "I don't care what u write about me, just spell my name right!" I may have told this story...I may haven't humm...let's see...And if u've been reading our diary...u know what famous words are about to follow next....
I remember...
We've had a lot of wild experiences when it's come to certain girls. I mean the stories are endless and just about all of them, we really didn't ask for it's been wild...U got us having episodes with girls with pretty toes...beautiful faces...some who had a boyfriend but put us in difficult situations...us falling for a girl who "said" that she was gay, but how she kissed made me think otherwise...a beautiful Italian baby girl who used us for just a "fun toy" for the night...and many, many more...but there has only been one, and I mean one girl who made me give up and momentarily retire from the game...wrong word...the part of life that has intrigued me since I came out the womb with a basketball in one hand and the latest edition of Vogue magazine in the other. Was I in love with this girl? No I wasn't, surprisingly, but I did feel like there was a certain potential...if given a chance.
The first time I saw her...she really caught my eye. There was just something about the way she smiled...it was so magnetic. I've never seen a girl who had all their teeth before, so when her sparkle gleamed accross the room, I was like, "Who is that?" U know I'm gonna tell it straight up...the thing was I was gonna be cool about the whole thing. Just let things play itself out...I recall telling a few people like one of my homegirls about this one girl, I just came across...As I told her of some of the details, she just kept saying how, "The good girls are tough to get." or "Walk around her, and see how she reacts to ur presence." Always listen or get some insight from those who have been in ur position before. They can be from guy or girl, I LOVE hearing experiences and gathering advice from the "vets"!! So I would follow her instructions to a tee...just to see how things will play itself out.
So one day, somehow, someway, I ended up getting within a cafe sound level with this cutie pie...And after a few seconds of small talk, I asked her, "What her name was?" And she gave it to me...I didn't ask for her number or anything like that, but I was pretty kosher about the whole situation. My thinking was if this is all meant to be, then our paths will cross, and we'll go from there...Well, it did, and we got a chance to talk some about life, religion, dating and all that...everything was cool, and done from the most part with a Kool-Aid smile...
Now I was debating should we go H.A.M. after this girl or just let her slide. The convo's been really good...we've been talking to our insider, as well as mentioned something to our own mother about shorty bee hop...So we decided to show some interest...she was cool...and I would give certain small hints...and she once again took everything in stride seemingly...until one day. Someone, and I won't mention names, told me basically that she doesn't want anything to do with me? And u talking about a bomb dropped on me, cuz it was completely out of the blue like "Am I dreaming this up right now?" I felt like an E! Network producer who just found out that a celeb is gonna get secretly married in like 1 hour. Except this wasn't a freakin' jump of tha broom, this was a larger than Tom Cruise Hollywood Divorce! I was stunned...I told my homegirl confidant what just went, and she almost fell over, literally in disbelief. Because she knows what type of person I am, and it just seemed like a big...hoax. Like a big setup!
I even tried to ask one of her friends she was close with, which was mad awkward beyond any imagination believe u me, and who knew us pretty good at the time...she just shook her head and was like, "She's tough." But I could see in her eyes there was some non-agreement with her actions...and check this out. Her friend, became really cool with us, almost more than before, after this whole 12 Corazones thing went down! It's amazing what goes down after the fact involving our life...But tha kid, Austino Galaxia...was... to put it simple...and to keep it real...heartbroken.
But the whole thing with this girl turning redcoat on me like she was part of the American Revolution, and with the sudden actions and me seeing her out and about and having to avoid her or her with me...it just broke me down dude. I specifically can still vision this one afternoon just coming to my showroom and just falling down to my knees crying like, "Why did this have to happen? And why to me?" It was like the cherry on the sundae...and I was like wondering why the Great Matchmaker in the Sky would lead me to even approach her...we went through all the gentlemanly protocol...even had advice from another woman...so everything was authentic and nothing fake or games being played, just...us being us. So after that spill, I basically "retired" from the game...without a ring.
It was just like...when something so real, can turn out so fake...and we've had too many experiences like that...u just sometimes figure, "I can't do this anymore....U have everything someone would want and need, and they just don't get it and when they do get it, they just wanna play games on u...and to top it all off, she's gonna go and date one of the dudes I knew??!! I'm done."
I know others have felt that way, so whatever....so for the next like 7-9 months. Nothing. No kinky kink...No let me see if I still have it...No all these girls are throwing herself at me, and I got to make all women pay....Nothing. I just couldn't open my heart anymore...and didn't know if I could ever do it again. After that time I began to somehow, someway ease back into the groove of things, and I look up and was like, this is the first time we've really opened up since...da da dah...We're cool now, but ...
So how did all this come up tonight? Not sure...I guess, it ties into that sometimes u have to experience some serious, and I'm not talking about no Mickey Mouse, I mean some serious soul searching episodes to see what ur made of. Once u've gone through them, u can look back and think, "I survived...and now I'm better cuz if it." Even though I took an hiatus from loving and doving, I wouldn't change anything in the Galaxia cuz now I can really share that dark days and people will pass. And I feel more prepared cuz of it...so when I say that sometimes 'everything isn't what it seems' or that 'wait until things really develop before u make a mountaint out of a molehill situation', u see that I'm not just jibber jabbering, but it all comes from experience. And to get that experience u have to take risks, and follow ur heart. It may lead u to some difficult heartbeats, but what's life if ur heart doesn't speed up every once in a while, right! What's life...
I'm done. Long post. Another crazy one with another crazy episode...one day it'll all make sense.
I believe that day is coming real soon in our life....
I hope so...
It has to...
It will.
Austino.
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