"I only got 82 auditions to get the band ready for the big event."
This quote changed my life on today. And I heard it early this morning, like around 6am, as I was listening to an ESPN Radio Los Angeles broadcast replay, in which I heard some very scientific news on the back condition of Dwight Howard of the Lakers, as well as this quote being discuss about the head coach of the Lakers, Mike Brown. But little did I know just how our day would turn out to be....I needed this quote more than ever....
Everything...well...sometimes what u go through in life just is a prep for what lays ahead. That's why I got so excited when I heard that quote. 82 represents the amount of regular season games in an NBA season before, "the big event", the playoffs begin. The quote signifies the importance of each moment, as if there isn't time to waste. U have to maximize moments and realize that there possibly isn't a tommorrow, u have to do what u have to do today...heck, as I found out this afternoon, u just never know what can unfold.
Due to legal matters, I won't get into great detail about what transpired on today. Once everything is settled and over with, I promise I'll tell the story. I'm not kidding, something wild, went down...And to see the entire thing play out right in front of ur eyes. All that I can compare it to, is having a love one, u coming home from work, and seeing them with somebody else getting their groove on right in front of ur eyes. That look of, "Am I really seeing this happen...IN FRONT OF ME?", transpired...once again, I'll talk about it, once the dust settles.
When u are close to ur goal...things are going to happen to u, to test ur winning spirit. Let's just write a tad some here...
The last few days, have been arguably, some of the most difficult we've had to experience. Seems like, we've been, I don't know, in that transition stage of our life. A lot of things have been happening that we don't understand...a lot of people have been....it's just weird. U feel like we've been in a small bubble of sorts. Not by choice either...as we mentioned a some time ago...u have to fight to stay motivated. Not only when ur successful in some areas, but when u feel like nothing is working...people are ignoring ur presence, even though they see you...u are being led to be patient, when everybody else seemingly are getting theirs...this is when u really have to fantasize about how and where u want ur life to be. Do we have a terrible life...absolutely not. It's just that we are adjusting to a change in our life, where we still don't understand why things happen in the manner that they do.
We just a kid who wants to have fun. That's why we write, or cringe when somebody doesn't necessarily want to participate in true fun or kick it. When it comes to us, u have to throw everything outta the window, cuz u won't meet anybody else like us ever...ever again. That's not snobby, but I just feel and understand where our life is, and is heading...sometimes I feel like I'm in that A-Rod in Texas state, where u know where u are, may have all the cash, and baby girls and stuff, but deep inside, u understand that there is another chapter awaiting. U want to bring others with, u want to share stories that make a difference, just because we think it'll be kool. Just think about perhaps 20 years for now, u may think, "Man, I wish I could get somebody else's view on what this crazy thing called life is about." I'm learning to just live in the moment so much, cuz as things change, I want to appreciate so much right now. Just talking from our heart, that's all.
So how do u react when things begin to try to shake ur in ur furry little boots? How u handle one test determines if u will have to go through that same thing again or if u can move on. Folks can be tripping all around you...how about this quote I heard the other day:
How much do you think you're worth?
That's a deep question...and I think the answer to that will determine our actions...hold up, Mariah is singing one of my favorites, C'mon girl, I need ya!!...If u're think ur worth a gang of wealth, then guess what, u're gonna act like it, and ur going to be tested like it. If ur a boss or captain of the sports team, the other team always go for u , cuz if they can get u rattled...if u can come home from a bad day at work, then ur going to affect ur kids or significant other, then all of a sudden the entire household is dreary just because someone hung up the phone on u at 7 o'clock in the morning, and u still haven't let it go. Been there, done that, dude. That's why...we feel like what we're experiencing, and we're not the only one who feels this way believe u me, could just be....
I'm gonna be real tonight...it's 9:55pm...I still have to finish dinner, shower, mini-shave, call DirecTv, and finish up my remodeling project of the showroom, so I'm just gonna write...
We all see the fame and glitz and glamour of the wealthy and celebrity lifestyle. What I'm learning is that it's so much that u don't realize goes on behind the scenes. It's hard work...it's so much hate. What is hate? I think "hate" is indirectly, yet directly disrespects u for no other reason than for being urself. That's my definition...it comes in many forms from, talking behind one's back about the subject at hand all the way to flat out telling someone "I hate you." And the thing about it is...u can feel it. Like u can walk into a room and just feel ill feelings...but the thing is, u can't let that stop u. I think we said this in a diary post like last year, if u aren't hated for something, then something's wrong with you! I think one of the most noticeable changes we have found within ourself is he realization that if I'm gonna life this life we want, we're going to live according to our own standards and be on our "A" game. It's like if u're gonna not like me cuz we want to have fun, and u rather be soaking in yesterday's troubles...or if u're gonna not want to expand ur horizons by simply talking to a stranger who might need a simple, "How ya doin'?" to get them through the day...u're gonna have to do it with us being on our top game. If u do that, then it's on you...but no longer will tha kid not use every experience, every ounce of wisdom dropped from others, not to make sure that this one shot we have in reaching the stars won't be met. I think that will be a disrespect to teachers, friends, co-workers, former flames, and others who have knowingly and unknowingly help mold us, and what would that be for us not to put all that into work. It's like the doctor telling u that too many cookies will give u a stomach ache, and soon as u come home from the office u dropping Chips Ahoy in the grill. U reach a point in ur life where u realize that all these experiences that u've been through has made u ultra-better and u need to take those lessons and use them. Like right now!
I'm not saying all this like we got life on a string, or we can't do no wrong...but, for real...don't sometimes u get tired of going through the same things over and over and over again, and u reach that King of Pop stage, where u look at the man in the mirror and say, "No more." I've heard so many stories of folks, who've been hurt in the past from relationships or jobs or former so-called friends, and have just made up their mind that they won't be duked again. And if so, they gonna have to duke this Cameron Crazy at the peak of their jump and not at the bottom of the tar heels. That's why we beg and plead, that no matter what ur going through, to keep going just a little further. I know, even on this week, we had a moment where it was like..."Why did this happen?" Some emotions poured out...and poured out, cuz when u don't understand, it can perplex u even more. But when u've reached that deep valley...it's for a reason. For one, u know what it feels like, and become even more fearless...it's like, going to school and being suspended for something u didn't even do. After that suspension is over, u're like, "Is that all?" And then u, hopefully want to show the teacher or principal that they started something, and u go even harder in ur studies and stuff...just because since u've reached that harshest punishment, u realize u can handle it, and come back even better...that's for something u didn't do mind u.
Guess I'm just ultra-competitive like that. Too much really...I'm usually low key, just because I know how we can get...sometimes u have to tame urself, u know....but, if folks could really see what goes on inside of us, when certain things transpire...Oh boy! I have a quick story, then I'm out...
I'm a huge basketball guy...a hooper for life. From elementary school all the way through college, that small orange ball, has been a part of our life. I recall one game where, just like we said, everything went wrong. And for those we hooped with in Middle School (Never forget the lessons), u recall this embrassing night in the gym...
It was my 8th grade season, with the mighty Barker Crusaders...we were playing our crosstown rivals the Krueger Colts. My team was in the midst of an undefeated season, and had it rolling all year. But when u face ur arch enemies, everything gets thrown out the window. Emotions are running at an epic level...so the whole city, basically is in the house, to check out another one of these classic Indiana Jr. High battles...This game, was funky from the get, and throughout the entire game. I was "ok" (Wink, Wink!) hooping on the squad, but from the jump ball, it seemed like this one referee, who was a city cop at tha time, just had it in for us. I had no idea why. Calling foul...after foul on us...it was just one of those nights where no matter what I did, from missing easy shots to just being in the wrong place at the wrong time...nothing went our way. And I didn't know why...so late in the first half, I was already frustrated, cuz I love to put on a great show, especially when the whole town is watching ur team play...this was one of the few times where A Galaxia was borderline out of control...
So late in the 1st half, this same ref...called me for my 3rd foul, in the 1st mind you! Sometimes I didn't get 3 fouls in the entire game. And since this game was so South Beach nip/tuck I didn't want to come out..at all. After another bogus foul, I was forced to be taking out of what was shaping up to be the most competitive game of the season. On my way to the bench, I just was steaming, and I took out my mouthpiece and threw it as I was walking to the bench. It ended up hitting one of my teammates...Big Robby Hackett, I'm still sorry bro!...I get to the bench and was just like, "What's going on? This ref is just on me...for no reason."
The second half starts, and still, I can't get off like D Wade, and I'm beginning to feel like I'm not part of the game. The ref is making stupid calls on us, and me in particular, and I'm not getting the looks I want, and it's turning into another barn burner. In the 4th quarter, I get called for my fourth foul, meaning one more and I'm done like some broasted chicken. Like a play or two later, the other team, Krueger has the ball, Big Dre Murth, scores a bucket, and one of my teammates gets called for a foul. Being disappointed in myself that we didn't get the rebound, I tossed the ball against the wall that was right beneath the basket, and catch it and walk away...then all h-e-double hockey sticks broke loose...
As I'm walking, I see a ref signal for a foul on my teammate, and then this same "ref"...I see him signaling a technical foul on # 2-1. I couldn't believe what I was seeing...this guy was going to throw tha kid, aka Pooh Daddy out the game for something in which I had no ill intent of doing, and was just mad at myself. It got bonkers in there...the crowd was going wild, cuz their home team was making their run on us, and now I'm getting the "hit the road jack" heave ho....I was just stunned, so I slowly, and I mean slowly begin to walk again over to our bench...I get over to our side...and I don't know what, but it was like everything got real quiet, then all of a sudden..."BANG!!" I hi-ya, kicked this folding chair over, without picking it up, and took a seat on the bench. U talk about sizzling hot over the entire game and night...it was a nightmare. But if u thought I was sizzling hot....I had no idea what awaited me.
Our team pulled out a buzzer beater victory by the help of my dude "KK", Kellen Anderson, who made a great steal and dished it to the Great "Kieno" for the winning bucket. I was elated that me getting tossed and my horrible game didn't allow us to lose the game...but once I left that locker room...
I felt like I talked to the whole city, not about the game itself, but by my actions of kicking the chair. So many folks were like, "U shouldn't do that"...One of the high school coaches at the time, Coach Steinke, was at the game, and he let me have it, "Don't u ever, do anything like that again." He got into me...and I wasn't even the only one who got a technical that game for our team, but....after all that, I still had to meet my folks. I didn't want to, but they were taking me home...it didn't matter if we won or lose, only one thing was left to be heard...I got what they call the "never again" talk...basically, Pops got in to me so much...it wasn't pretty...that car ride home, it just wouldn't stop about me and embarrassing the family, and how I shouldn't act like that...mind u, this was the ONLY time something like this has and did happen, but it was like World World or World Galaxia 3. Not fun ...no bueno...the talk/lashing continued into us eating dinner. And I just remember crying (Do I cry all the time?!!) and being like "I'm sorry!" Moms was upset, it was just a night to forget...we won by the way, just imagine if our team had of lost.
I love my Pops and Moms, and Coach Steinke and all the others who stopped my that night. They taught me that folks watch u, no matter if u don't see it or not....people care...there's a standard to how u should conduct urself...win or lose, sometimes it is how u play the game...it doesn't matter if others did something similar as u, u be true to who u are....and showed us that we're a little different...but most of all, that was the depth, at the time, of how EVERYTHING can go against you, and the question is, "How can u react to the fire?" Do u crawl into a cubby hole, and hide...or realize that u've faced the toughest challenge, from externally and from within, and as Olivia on The Cosby Show used to say..."I'm still alive."
And sometimes winning the battle isn't about striving, but sometimes it's simply about...surviving.
I still got some stuff to do...sorry for all this talk, but it's a diary right...just keep pushing....
And dream...one step begets another.
All we all are right there. Just a doorbell away.
Austino Galaxia.
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