Hot-N-Fun

Did anyone else slam this candy back in tha day!  

Like....totally...Oh...My...Gosh!

This afternoon has not gone as planned...at all!  But that's ok...we had serious plans of going up north...Not like New York City "Up North", but like 35-40 minutes up north to do some shopping (I'm still in Stage 7 of my recovery addict plan, ok!), getting some new threads for the Bruce Wayne wardrobe and going up to IKEA to get odds and in's for our showroom place.  Like some colorful mirrors and some rugs and things of that nature...but...I guess u have to take care of what's more important first. Like....Bills.  Yikes!  Who knew that any young person living down here in Miami would actually consider taking care of important billings instead of makin' it rain on other items.  I mean, really, what's more important...Keeping my cell phone on or spending dineros on some new kicks and jewelry??  I usually choose the latter, and just "get by" on the celly tip, but on today, we sacrificed and actually took care of some business....

So where do we begin...

Had the top down on today on tha ride.  It was like 90 degrees outside, and we needed to just let the wind blow.  Sometimes u need those moments u know, where u just let life dictate 2 u how and where ur going to go.  Seemingly all...the day...long...we've been talking about needing a "me" day.  Like when u go to the spa and just get a messege...sorry, massage from a beauty...and then get ur manicure and pedicure done on ur hands and toes...I know I totally sound like a Hilton sister right now, but I'm telling u a brotha was feenin' like a golddigger on the Vegas strip, just for a simple rub down....at least a professional one.  Has anyone ever got like a "play" massage from somebody whether on the job or from a friend...and as they are trying to rub u the right way, deep inside ur thinking, "This person has no idea what they doing, there's absolutely got to be a Beauty Schools of America open somewhere at 1 in tha morning!"  But of course, it's the thought that counts, and that's not to be neglected, but sometimes u just need some Equal and not some Nurti-sweet trial and error stuff.

We came back into our home neighborhood of South Beach, and our first stop before we went home was actually to the library.  Went to the one SoFi (South of Fifth Street) which even though it's small, I like the intimacy u can get inside.  As I was driving towards it going south on Alton Road, I had to basically come to a screeching halt, cuz I saw that yellow light blinking indicating that I was entering a school zone.  And if u live down here in South Florida u know that the Five-Oh don't play when it comes to giving out tickets in that 15 mph.  I know in North Miami...Brickell, heck for this one school off of Brickell Ave., the cops just be out there like, "I wish u would go over the speed limit.  If u even think about going 16, I'm gonna hit u up for $250...just for tha thought!!"  But I guess it was the first day of school, so...Ok.  I got a real, real quick story...

Did you know...that ur's truly had...and I once again don't know why I'm telling this stuff, but...for like 2 years and perhaps three years running...I hope ur not eating as ur reading this...but for like 2 plus years I had a Michael Phelps streak of throwing up every single first day of school.  And I wasn't of Fraggle Rock age either...I don't know what it was about it.  Either I was nervous about getting that front row seat next to the door...or maybe it was those tator tot patties that might have been sitting unfrozen in the cafeteria all Summer Sanders and now they gals in the hairnets decided to throw them out to the wolves!  (That's actually pretty funny cuz the mascot of my High School is nicknamed the Wolves!!  Ah...I really need my on AM radio talk show, I really do!!)  But maybe it was that...I remember vividly actually eating lunch, and then knowing what was about to go down.  I promise u, I'm not making this stuff up....I ate...and then it was as if my whole body knew what the next 7 minutes was about to bring.  It was like an old episode of Quantum Leap or when u used to watch The Apprentice and u see someone talk back to "The Donald" and u just knew who the first person was to get that "U're Fired" directed towards them.  But believe u me, it's nothing to be proud of...hurling every first day of school.  But I guess u gotta get it outta of ur system.  And better on the first day, than when ur on stage dressed up as a Christmas Tree, right?!!

Back to today, so I finally get to the library.  And I walk in knowing that I have to renew my library card.  I'm bee-bopping in like this is going to be a In-n-Out Burger for sure...with extra pickles!  Not exactly...my dude when I gave him the 411 as to why I was in there, asked to see my old card, which I have on my keychain, and asked for some photo ID.  Bam!  I got u playa!  Then he threw a Justin Verlander fastball at me by telling ur boy, that "Before u can check out material, u have to pay ur fine."  I'm thinking...while basically squinting..."How much?"...He says, "$13" and some change..I then tell him to hold on, and I begin to pull money out my pocket like a guy looking for quarters at a "Girls, Girls, Girls" viewing machine on Broadway, to see if I have enough to pay this fine.  I usually don't carry small bills, cough, cough, and after recounting the $8 cash I had on me, homeboy said I could check out one time but the next time, I'll have to ante up.  Me being me, had to ask if that meant I could only check out one item...he said, "One time."...meaning, I walked away wondering what's the record in this joint cuz if I'm going to get one shot then I"m gonna break 'em like a crap game on Saturday night!

I picked up four books...all autobiographies, of course:

- Shaq Uncut by Shaquille O'Neal
- One Day It'll Make Sense by Common
- Bossypants by Tina Fey
- Everything About Me is Fake....and I'm Perfect! by Janice Dickinson

So I got books written by crazy, story-telling hoop legend, and gangsta yet intellectual styled rapper, and ultra-hilarious comedic writer and actress and a former model who preaches constantly that "Beauty is Pain."....No wonder I'm single!! Ha ha!...I then go up to the guy at the front desk and ask him what the largest fine he's seen since working at the library.  He was like..."Oh....in the hundreds!"  I'm thinking, "Wow!"  And he told me of some woman having a fine for like $500 over losing some expensive books...Dang!!  That's like what it costs me to take a baby girl to go see Timbo at the Fontainebleau on Labor Day weekend!  He said somebody was trippin' over 30 cents...I really wasn't too suprise cuz I almost dag gone near got arrested at the Coral Gables Police Station over 75 cents!!  My car got into an accident and  I had to go up there to pick up the police report and I go inside, tell them my name and stuff, and the guy gives me my report and then tells me, "That'll be 75 cents."  And I know that ghetto-fab came out and I shouted, "75 CENTS??"  My guy looked at his fellow policewoman, and I know they was thinking, "Get this El Cheapo looking cat out of my precinct before I throw the book at 'em!"  He told me, "Just go..."  And I walked outta there thinking that I can at least get one chicken wing from Miami Subs on Wednesdays!  Wild...

Ok.  Crazy day.  And I got a little more...our life is wild, keep saying that.

I was walking, just thinking this is why I love Miami.  I saw two cars blatantly run two stop signs like they were playing Grand Theft Auto.   What else?  Where else do guys stand shirtless in front of the grocery store like they parking lot pimpin or something.  Just out there...chillin'.  Not really though cuz it was mad hot around that Holy Hour of Power of 3pm.  It was hot dude.  How hot?  This is what I witnessed besides the aforementioned Baywatch guy....I saw a girl riding a scooter (My type of babe!) and coming to a stoplight...reach into her bag of groceries, while at the red light mind you, and grab some Ice Breakers and put some in her mouth.  See, u might think that her breath smelled like she just drunk some garbage truck juice, but no...u see, it was mad hot outside, and she needed something to cool her off, so the nearest thing she had was the ice breake....now u get it right!!  Movin' on....

Next, it was so scorching that I Lebron witnessed a woman rush a kiddo from the inside of day-care and then dragged him in the parking lot like a three-legged race, and literally slid the side door open and then  threw this rugrat into the back seat of her Odyssey mini-van.  And I didn't Blink 182 cuz I already knew what the deal was...it was hot and when it's hot u do what u gotta do to get into that A/C air waiting for u in tha ride!  I may not agree...but I understand....How hot u ask?  This guy was just sitting in front of the laundromat with no shirtless of course...on top of a Painter's bucket.  Where was tha paint?  And he was at the main entrance....Only in South Beach, bro...and to top it all off...I came inside my apartment from walking in tha heat, slipped off my kicks for a second or two, and next thing I know it, I put my shoes back on, and they are burning hot!  Not kidding!  I'm like, "My feet are actually on fire!"  Never seen that before...but with this weather, who knows what to expect...I rather have my feet on fire, than some other body parts, if u know what I mean!!  (Wink, wink!)

I'm done.  Still stuff to say...but...being led to wrap it up like a teen on Prom night, so we're out...
And  always remember...

Have fun...And Luv!

Austino Galaxia.