A Pre-Party Animal!!

Oh, to party with these guys!!

South Beach.

Those two words mean so much.  They bring to mind visions of America's "Rivera".  Some think it's the home to the hottest nightlife around.  Others think of it as the ultimate beach neighborhood.  While we have several names ranging from "The Land of The Beautiful People" to "Fantasy Island".

I guess we simply call it ...home.

There are so many stories we have from living down here...it's almost prophetic that our life has crossed these streets paths.  Fittingly, the city of the M.I.A and Miami Beach is a perfect backdrop for what our life has become and has turned into.  It's almost as if this 3.5 miles strip...

It's been a great story location of our life.  And we'll do our best to bring u into our "Galaxia" of what goes on down here.  From these two puppies literally, and we've never seen this, jumping up and down on the butt of this woman walking to water fire hydrants pouring out water into the middle of the street to the attitudes of those who live here and visit here (The Winter birds are a coming in about 2 weeks...)...just everything that goes on in our life.  We live it up, so we gonna step it up a notch and make sure this diary is filled with even more unbelievable yet true stories surrounding our life.  Life is about having fun, and we gonna bring u in...

So what's on tha kid's mind this evening?  Good question...Should I go here?  Ok, I was walking home listening to a playlist on my Whiteberry titled "We Back"...and while my cut "Break of Dawn" by the King of Pop was banging in my ears...wait...Noooo!  There's a mosquito in my place.  Down here in tha 305 u got these bloodsuckers that will stab bite u like "Bam, bam, bam!" And next thing u know it, u've been done in by one of the Beagle Boys of insect land , and u itching and scratching like just got ur creep on at the Dollar Inn.  I can handle any bite, just don't bite me in tha face.  That's where I get sensitive like Brad Pitt followed by a TMZ camera.

 Am I the only one who used to have something happen to them physically right when u had a party u were gonna go to, or u were going to see that "someone" or u were gonna be on TV or something?  Like a pimple, and u stand in front of the bathroom for like 3 hours with the lights on, all the while with *NSYNC's "Pop" in tha background, just praying that this metamorphosis can transform in like 2 minutes.  You grab that piece of kleenex, or actually that Big Roll of toliet paper from Walgreens works the best...u grab that tissue, and force feed it on ur pimple, holding it, pressurizing it, waiting for that blood to show.  Then when u see it...I know I ain't the only one who's gone through this....Then when u see it, u start to pant and get excited like a 2k12 version of Dracula or Buffy, wait she was a Vampire Slayer...ok...I wish there was a female vampire...well, there actually are up in Pennsylvania...I'm not even gonna go there, but I'll just say this u'll be surprised what a girl with fangs, rockin' a black Elvira costume, holding a pack of candy corn (Economy size exclusively sold at Wal-Mart) can do to a brotha!  Hey, my birthday is the day before Halloween, so u have to know I kind of...freaky.  But if u already know that if u've been reading this diary...

But yeah, once u see that blood dude, u get all excited like I'm about to get back on point.  U look for that Sea Breeze or bottle of Newtra...no...Netrenge....still not right....N-E-U...T...R...G???...(My hands are covering my eyes...)...E???...Aw forget let me google tha thing...Neutrogena, and u good to go!  It's serious, and I know guys and definitely girls are the same.  Then after that u like plaster ur face, like ur doing some kind of construction on a house, u then ultra-plasterize ur face with lotion to make sure the bleeding doesn't continue through the night.  Cuz it ain't nothing worse than walking up to a doll and hitting her with the line that has gotten my more numbers that T-Mobile..."Cough, Cough...So...a...what's ur sign?"  And having her cuss u out and point to ur face and be like, "I don't have a sign, but I see in my future me not dating a guy with a bloody face!"  U don't want that playa..don't want that.

What is it about getting urself ready when u go out.  I mean...our parents did it.  Our grandparents did it.  When I say go out, I mean for a date or hanging out or even a small or large party.  Sometimes just getting ready outweighs the hype of the actual event.  Hold on, I gotta put some peas on the stove (No Salt Added, of course.)  I'll be right back...I'm back...but yeah, just getting ready is an adventure in and of itself.

Of course, u have to put that music on to get u hype.  I know I do...I know I'm getting too personal tonight about how we act, but, oh well...That music...depending on the activity.  If it's a lovely evening with a classy lady who loves to hold her Marc Jacobs purse on the inside crevice of her elbow, yet ain't afraid to burb after drinking her Sierra Mist too fast...I put on some Babyface...If I'm just hanging out with a group of buddies and bud-ettes then I may hit up some Usher, or Madonna...If I'm going to a party or club, u can expect some dancing music and that can be anything from MJ to Kylie to B2K or New Edition or Kayne or Diddy or Lil Wayne or Ricky Rosay...anything that get us moving is a option for that pre-game warm-up.

After the warm-up is set. U have that bathroom routine.  Usually, a shower..except if I took one two days ago, and I feel like testing out to see if Right Guard is really on a 48 hour protection like they say, if I feel ris-kay, then I'll just do that face wash thing.  Maybe a slight trim of facial hair, but once again u don't wanna mark up the money maker too much.  Once u feel zestfully clean, or at least psedo-zestful, u step out, dry off, and then the next step...maybe the most crucial one...OMG!  What to wear....

For girls, I KNOW some feel like this is the deal breaker for them and for the guy as well.  If u a girl, do I wanna be ultra-sexy and show of my curves, maybe some cleavage but not too much (What kind of girl they think I am?!!)  But just enough...Is my skirt too short?  Is it too long?  Do these jeans make my butt look voluptuous?  All these questions go through a baby girl's mind....For guys it's usually simple...but not for us.  We have a small process in which we call on our Stylists in the Sky to pick out a grand outfit.  Personally, I actually start with the bottoms or pants first and go around that.  If it's a pair of jeans, do we go vintage with holes or colorized?  If it's a pair of slacks to we want modern or preppy or put on my "I don't care cuz this party is going to be wack anyway!" pair on.  From there we usually go up, to what top to rock depending on tha mood.  Preppy-Cardigan.  Sexy-V-Necks, Dress Shirts open past second button, with sleeves up 3/4's length, with leather band on right or left arm depending on my success rate last time out, if u catch my drift....It can be a process.  But now, it's not even about a 'look'.  It's just us feeling comfortable, looking presentable...and being able to move and groove....besides our whole closet is based on the theme of "Bruce Wayne"....Meaning if Bruce was a real actual person, what would his wardrobe be like.  That's how we dress...Bet nobody else does these silly things, do they?!!...Now I've added another reason why folks call me weird. Let's move on...Please...

U're now just about dressed, but u got to check out how u look in the mirror.  Practice a few dance moves that's gonna get it crack-a-lackin' on the dance floor or inside Club Barnes 'n' Nobles (Hey, Friday nights can be the spot!!).  U lean back, do that G-Unit 'Can't See Me' dance, or maybe go into Britney's "Gimme More" routine from the MTV VMA's a few years ago...Hey I like Ms. Spears and that's my freakin' ANTHEM  so I can say these things!!  But after a few shakes...u just about ready to go.  I know if u're getting ready with some of ur friends, u may have a few "spirits" before u leave, knowing u ain't gonna be shelling out no Kobe number for no drink that's as watered down as a Midwestern lawn in the Summertime!!

Before u leave guy or girl, u usually spray on a little smell good.  Little Pra-da!  Or some D en Gee...Or if I'm in a good mood I'll hit 'em with that Ben-nen-tton for $12 at Publix grocery store right now!!  What!...that be jumpin!  (Actually my all time favs include: Gucci Pour Homme, D&G, Versace Jeans Couture and Prada Men...I'm in to colognes!)...U get that look, that smell, and u ready to get loose.

Hopefully the joint or event exceeds the hype of just getting ready and getting texts from ur friends.."Eye'll b there in 20 mins." or "What u wearing?" or "U best be outside or I'm leaving ur (beep)!"  It's all fun.  And once again...that's what life's about.  And truly, that's what we are ALL about. Period.

Ok.  I'm getting ready for....bed.  Ha ha!  I need some rest cuz it's about to get even wilder, our life that is...

Don't let the bed bugs bite!

I think that mosquito is hiding from me, but that's ok, I'm still gonna sleep semi-naked...

Just my face is gonna be wrapped up like a mummy just in case!!

Much love.
A.G.