Ok. The fireworks just ended over here in South Beach, so let's do a little jotting or so. I really wasn't gonna write e-knee-thang on this night, but the Powers that be have led us to do otherwise, so here we go on another adventure..
Today, totally didn't go as we had planned. Sometimes life is like that, u can write all the notes u want, and u can BBM urself til u pass out, but still things just aren't meant to go the way u want them too, so u just have to make some lemonade outta of the cherries given to you...or something like that. Was it me or was this 4th of July like the weirdest holiday in recent memory? Maybe because it was smacked dab in the middle of the week or something, but even over here in the beach it was quiet. I was able to find a parking spot near my crib, in tha late afternoon, and when that happens I know it's not just the overflowing crowd that DJ Khaled takes over the beach area.
Memorial Days around here are like insane. New Year's Eve's are outta control as well with nothing but the scents of strong European colognes and the clicking sound of stilettos giving the soundtrack for the night's activities. It's still kinda mind-blowing the prices places charge just to get into the "party'. I mean a $1,000...really?? And they have minimums and all this...if that's ur thing, ok. But, I know that if I'm putting down that kind of Mighty Mouse cheese, I better be guaranteed more than a peck when the clock strikes 12. How about a stroke at the stroke of Midnight! That's funny...but for real. For the amount of money u spend, u can hit up Winn-Dixie, get u some Apple Sparkler, and go to Party City and get u about two kazoo's...ok, if u an NBA player, u might need three, and live it up all for the price of about $6.49...and if u hit me up personally, I may even be able to put together a Galaxia NYE Kit for the price of $5.99. U think I'm joking...
Folks be shedding out dineros on limos and stuff...but for the low price of $5.99, I'll personally will pick up two South Beach Deco Bikes, and bring them to ur crib, already charged up, although u'll have to return them around 11 pm, I don't know if that's a problem on New Year's Eve or not, but hey, u get what u paid for. I know what u thinking, Austino, I wanna get my Buzz Beamer on....don't worry, I got u on that note too. For the low aforementioned price, I'll hook u up with a tall bottle of Wyler's Kool-Aid (Hey, the real stuff will cost u extra!)...Ur choice of course, and u'll be all good. If u want cups, that'll be on you, a brotha gots to watch his overhead!! It's amazing though how a night out can add up...quickly here in the "land of the beautiful people."
I remember going to this one gathering of bodies to the tune of music, and going up to the window, which was more like a box office window at a theater. So after seeing that I'm walking up all excited, I'm thinking, "Cool, I get to not only dance, but may also catch a show tonight. Hope they're doing some Shakespeare like Carmen! Maybe Phifer and B is up in here tonight." ...Not! I get to the window, and this shorty is like, "What's Up...that'll be $20." I almost did my George Lopez, and yelled at her, "Twenty dollars? For that I can look at the back of the Miami New Times and call up Divine (Why does that name stick in my head?) and we can dance, dance dance...all night long! But I didn't go Midwestern hick on them, and paid up. But u best believed that I was gonna enjoy myself, and u better believe we did!
The nightlife scene is so different than anywhere else in the world...it's serious. I was reading an article online on Men's Health and they have a thing where they picked the best beaches in the world. Any guesses to what's the number one beach to party in the world is? U got it, right here outside our doors. They chose South Beach with Ibiza coming in second. I'm not a hard party guy, but then again I am a party guy. I like to have fun, u have to know that by now if u've been reading this diary, I enjoy myself, not to the point to where I'm passed out on somebody's lawn with a "South Beach Celebrity" T-shirt on, No. But if it involves laughing and the party that surrounding me having a good time, then I'm down. I still have to crowd surf once before this year is over with. I have to make sure that happens when I don't have any cash on me.
Another funny thing about living here in South Beach, is that u're never gonna know who u may run into. I remember running into folks while working out in tha gym. One time, I was getting undressed or dressed in the locker room, and the locker room was as small as elementry school janitor closet! For real, I could unbotton my shirt and have the locker behind me give me a massage me all at the same time! But this dude, who I won't name, he's an NFL player was up in there, I was like this dude's tats look familiar...sure nuff, it was ol' dude...then I used to hoop on this court, where one time, my guy came to me and was like "I was shootin' with Shaq just earlier today." And I be like The Diesel is actually on my court. Which isn't a stretch cuz I used to be out there at least 3 times a week. What u notice is that people don't really get google-eyed over folks like they may do in other parts of the country. South Beach is one of the few places where, it's tough to explain...celebrity is just part of the scene down here. The other day, this guy was talking all about Oprah, and her being at the Triple A for the last game of the Heat's Finals series...it's a hot place 2 live.
Literally...To watch how folks handle to temps down here in Miami is worthy of a coffee table book all in itself. Let's see...u got the Michael Jackson umbrella holders...then one time, I saw some workers literally sleeping underneath a pickup truck, like car mechanic style. That was wild...U got the older gents who go shirtless...u have chicks who dag gone near walk naked in their floss in their...Hold on...
My guy Steve Nash is going to tha Lakers?!! Wow, thanks Frankie Stacks for the breaking news...La La land is gonna be wild this year, as is it gonna be down here for them Heat. Please...Heat vs. Lakers in the Finals...just once in my lifetime...please!...Ok, back to the scene...
Yeah, u got shoe string bikini's that'll even make us blush. Not really, but it can get ridiculous down here when it's hot. See, u have the half-shirt over the belly look, that was made fashionable down the legendary runways of Milan...the Stunner sunglasses of every color you could think of, they must off come out of Crayola's special collection...even the cats be passed out in every slither of shade they can find. I kind of feel sorry for those who do lawn care or roofing down here in South Florida. But the get-ups they wear, because of necessity is something else too. I guess u just have to prepare urself for sweating, have an extra shirt or outfit in ur backseat of your car, and even though they claim the hottest hours of the day are between 10am and 3pm, I'm finding that 5pm hour to be hotter than a matchstick recently. I be walking and bout time I hit Lincoln Road, off course the place voted one of the best places to people watch, I'm fighting the drips of sweat like, "Please don't let anybody see me getting drippy drip..." And of course, u end up sweating like u just got done working over night at the C&C Music Factory! One more thing, and I'm done...
I'm like 98% convinced that the females who live here in Miami, don't break a sweat. I've never seen anything like it...ha ha! It be like freakin' a hundred on the 'feels like' meter, and a beauty would be just like, "It's hot.", and with her hair just barely messed up. Or I be getting it in working out, and a girl will be next to me, which happens quite often may I add, and she be pumping it out in her Reebok's and I may glance and still now sweat...anywhere. Her face, her bra, nothing...I'm like u just ran for like 30 minutes, and u still look like like a Cover Girl for Vogue Italia. Not to say I haven't seen a girl sweat it out, but if u take a look, it's a little rare to see a doll drenched u know. Maybe girls sweat is invisible...if so, then I would hate to see what a girl does or looks like when she takes off her clothes after a hot and humid Miami day...
But then again....
Austino Galaxia.
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