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| Classic Sidney and Bill. |
No Palm Beach on tomorrow. Oh Well, really was thinking to go see Dave Koz, Candy and the crew for their Christmas Jazz concert, but the good Lord is directing us otherwise. Even thought about making a day of it and hitting up H&M and just enjoying life. Its going to be Disney Bonkers when that store opens up on Lincoln Road next year in the neighborhood. I know some girls who've been waiting for this for at least 3 years, it'll be wild. Man, I was walking on Lincoln 2night, there are some characters out there. Add the visitors to the area, and u got a sitcom really. I was walking and this brotha was walking with that "club kid" look, hat cocked, nerdy glasses, beard grown out, I was laughing cuz he had the 'forget 'em' look about him, like "this is who I am so deal wit it". If u live in Miami, u know what I'm talking about. Then this kid was staring at this seemingly homeless person sleeping in an abandon store front near the Subway on Washington Ave. He was looking like he never seen that before, like the person was an exhibit on Mia Bch life. Which is deep, b/c we see it so often that even myself over look this problem. I've been dreaming that if I was to ever get things right, my biggest thing would be to clean up the homeless problem down here in South Beach. Build or do something. Maybe that's my problem I'm waiting...instead of just doing. Story of my life in some ways.
Can being patient be a bad thing? We've had this image of us being a Ferrari on the highway, driving 45mph, just waiting to explode, knowing that u have the horsepower to fly. (That's a perfect analogy of our life right now). I have such a "Let's Get It" attitude, in which I know how short life is and can be. So times when I feel like I have to hold back, it's like, "Why?". Nobody else is seemingly, folks are like I'm gonna do what ever, whenever, however and in the name of Tom Brokaw, to whoever! So I'm like ok, if I take the night off (like 2nite), what awaits. My motor is just "purring" like a feline right now. I feel like we've learned so much and no its time to show that no one does it like us. That's not being conceited or anything, that's just confident knowing that everything has happened for a reason. Everything from not getting a particular gig (William Morris I will never forget ur rejection letters) to someone not giving u the time of day, when u had nothing but Glee to give. Let me get some grits, before I continue...
Ok, I'm back, and I just set the DVR for The Graham Norton Show, whose gonna show some highlights from Season 9...but u learn a lot about urself in adverse times in ur life, especially if u feel like ur alone or by yourself, or no one can relate to you. Am I bout to get deep here? Might as well tell it like it is, this is a diary right?!! Duh...My Pops once and still says that "The measure of a man, is what he would do, when he knew, nobody was watching." That's true, can u still dig up the energy to go through the steps or do u start to side track. "I'm in shape, so I don't need to push myself any longer."..."I lost my 25 lbs. to fit into my wedding dress, the wedding's over so now, I'll go back to my thing." Not just physical, but mental tests of the soul. That's what I've been going through, not everyone can relate, which I understand, but there are more than a few who are like me and are fighting to go through process time and time again...sometimes only to get their hopes and dreams "Smash" Williams' up.
So what is the 'process'? Ok, let's be Frank Nunez about this thing...looking for a job, applying for jobs, not get any responses, that's a process. Going to school each day, when the professor and teacher has it "in" for you, for no reason, yet u gotta get through this course or else, that's a 'freakin' process...being in situations when everyone is like 'u're time will come', in regards to relationships, children, finances, and u steady are like 'I'm tired', u betch ur JLo that's a 'process'...Everybody goes through something, I think the, well I know, what I've been dealing with is remaining enthused about the journey when I just wanna get to the destination. Does that make sense? It's like going through the regular season, knowing the playoffs are what counts. Those reg. season games puts ur game in check for the playoffs. But sometimes, as of late, I've been like dude I just wanna get this stage of my life over with. Sports analogy again, its like a coach telling u to work hard, lead the drills, do this or do that, yet ur still not getting into the game. So as a player u sometimes wanna be like, "Coach, u told me to do this and that, I did it, now I wanna play." I know this is some good talk, but its been so true with us.
Social relationships has been so wild, its like it's not real. That's why I tell so many of them, because I know they are so unique that I must share for lessons and entertainment. But on the Rick Ross, I've been like is it even worth going through the 'process' of meeting people, dating people, "what's ur sign?", "what do u do?" all that gibber jabberish, when in the back of ur mind u just wanna know if this is going to be a true friendship or just another used to be. That feeling is usual within all of us, but if u've been on this journey for as long as we have, and more crazier than that, have seen and felt so many wacky episodes that left u like, "What tha fizzy?", it can get to u sometimes like "Is there something wrong with us?" or even "Why did u create us this way God?" Real talk tonight. I love life, but I have to tell how it is.
So after stating all that, u gotta hang in there, and believe, even if no one else is pumping up the volume in ur head. Self-motivation. Just have to get through it. One thing, I've always loved about keeping a diary are the real-time feelings u can express. Just as I'm writing this, the next entry could be the total opposite with every dream being come true. I know we are "closer than close" , whether I want to admit it or not, I see settle signs like, our dream life is about to happen. Now, we have to continue to push, and reinvent ourself. Each day is new, I see some unique things daily. Not too many people can say that, so I just wanna share on our journey. Maybe it is all about the journey, and not the destination. I cringe at times bout our life. But its just like going to the club. Everybody usually goes in through the front entrance. Only a select few go through the back. It still leads to the dance floor. But when u go through the back, u have to have an hookup at the back door, walk through the kitchen, sometimes take steps downstairs just to come back up. I've been put on that backdoor list. Which is cool.....cuz if I'm not mistaken that backdoor list is ...VIP.
Austino.
Time to have some serious fun!
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