Knife Stronger Than Tha Galaxia? Pt. 1

(Parental Discretion Advised)

I can't believe I'm in here.  Well, finally, I guess,  the Miami in me, has gotten the best of me.  Didn't think that I would ever let that happen, but as I've learned living down here, u just never, ever know.  Passing by bilboards with nothing but booty in ur face.  Watching old MTV True Life episodes, I mean it's such an "in" thang to do.  But urs truly...Naw...Never in a million years,  I do everything tha natural way, but after earlier today...That's when it just hit me.  Dude, u need some help.  See, I was alright, well, not alright...See, my day began, waking up early this morning.  And as I was leaving the Beach area, as I was on 5th street, right around Alton Road, I this like Hond-Hey pulled right next to my left on tha driver's side.  I was like, "What tha fizzle (Cough, Cough) is that smell?"  Evidently they were smoking so bootleg weed or something.  Like I know what good weed smells like, don't ask, just believe me on this.  But, this was horrrrible!  Tha fumes like jumped on me like a demon, cuz I'm just not into that kind of stuff.  I mean, the way my body is tuned up, any fowl smell can throw my whole engine off tune.  So I'm at tha light, thinking, I gotta get outta here.  Hold on, this girl just walked in here..With Salt and Pepper blond and black hair just as I like...wait a minute...

What's up?

'Hey.'

Blinky.

Well, I didn't think this post was gonna get written.  For a few reasons...One, I was gonna retire.  The feeling of writing like, absolutely just left my body.  I was having some kind of Quantum Leap experience, where I just felt like I had nothing else to say.  I've said it all, giving our best, and to be honest, I've felt like there's a lot of absolutely genius stuff on this diary, yet I didn't feel like I've blown up like I wished I should have.  Like if anybody were to look at some of these diaries...There are some classic posts, in ways I don't know if the Galaxy will ever see again.  So that got me to thinking...I don't know if it's even worth "The Push" when I feel like I should be some kind of star, and just sitting on tha side waiting for my turn at the Fame wheel.

"Tha Best Day Ever."

(Huge Blow.)

Milk, milk, where's tha milk in this hear place?  This woman got me shopping in this uppity supermarket.  They didn't even have any lotto tickets in Customer Service.  Whatever it's tha closest thing to home.  How ya doin'?....Alright, here's tha diary section.  They stopped making Smart Balance, so I gotta settle I guess...um-hum...Organic...No...I just am looking for something basic.  Here we go...that'll do.  Nothing like some good ol' 2%.  Is it me, or are they some lookers up-in-here?!!  Boy.  It's like a South American Novela up in here.  And this girl just flashed a smile, see that's how it's been...how it's always been in a way.  Let me find the check-out line.

Funmate #000021, Part 2

Previously on The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia...

And now...The Conclusion of "Funmate #000021".

Funmate #000021. Part 1.

(Viewer Discretion Advised)

(Flip...Flip)  Man, where do they find these girls?  Playboy must be doing something right, they now got an issue featuring the hottest prison guards...Handcuffs...(Flip...Flip)  and...all...Huh.  Anyway, let me put this magazine down, and cut on this radio, and see what's going on in the Third round of this British Open, or as they now call it, "The Open" Come on Tiger...Come on Tiger...

("And Tiger Woods has just hit his tee shot into the weeds here on the 11th hole.")

Freakin'...I tell ya.  He's ok, he's still in the hunt, and they got several more holes to go.  You just want to be in a position to be close.  That's all.  Boy, how I realize that oh too well.  Just to be close...Tell ya, you just never know how quickly life can change, u just never know.  I figured that out ah...about 9 years ago.  Some people may remember or may not that court case that changed the course of the Galaxy.  It may not have been as big as Roe v. D. Wade, or The People v. Larry Flynt, or Charlie Brown v. The Board of Education, but still quietly has kept it had a major impact on not only my life, but the lives of others.  I pleaded 100% guilty to that crime, which my lawyers told me not to do, but I couldn't go on living for a crime that I did commit. But with that confession, I ended up here...