Hopefully Somethang Good will Jump off tonight...As I Ride in This Galaxian Go-Kart.
Have a few ways we can go...From Money to This "One" Gurl to Me Luving Strawberry Pop Tarts.
Really Don't know what to jot about on this First Day of May...Guess we shall start from our Heart.
April was a Killer for me...But In Some Ways it was one of Our Finest 30 day Period.
In This Diary, I spoke Ultra Open about My Feelings...Tha Number can only be define as a Myriad.
Language as about Free and Real as somebody can get...Sounding & Smelling "Double X" like Arrid.
Yet trying to use Antiperspirant as I wrote, cuz Tha Topics Were Hot and Sweaty...Almost needed 2 Chew on Some Orbit.
Ha Ha! That's funny...I think Orbit Gum has just become tha official Sponsor of Tha Galaxy!!!
Get it...Orbit...And Tha Stars...For Them 2 Become it, I didn't even have to Beg and Plea.
Alright...I Got 2 Get Real on What's in My Soul Here 2night...So Please, "Don't Judge" and Just Let Me Be.
As Always I have to just speak from Within...2 Put it Plain and Simple...I've Got 2 Be Me.
(Huge Sigh.)
Right Now I'm in a Sticky Situation...I'm Honey Boo Boo Close To Everythang I Want on Earth.
Finally I feel like all Tha Days of Preparation or Lessons Learned are Paying off...Last Time I felt So Good was My October 30th Day of Birth.
YET....I shouldn't get real 2night right...Whatever...YET I know that there is something else I want...Somethang That Defines tha Word "Worth".
It's Amazing How U Can Find Motivation in that Thangs That Has Caused U Tha Most...Hurt.
Today I did some "Looking Back" so to speak...Mainly on all Tha Gurls I've Met since Last May First.
As My Mind Traveled on Tha Galaxy Time Machine...It was Amazing 2 Remember Such Beauty...Like Tha Initial Time U Held an Authentic Gucci Laced Purse.
I just shook my Head like All These Ladies...And Still I'm Single?? For This I truly didn't Rehearse.
It's not as If I'm Looking 4 Luv, but...Just all these Episodes Undefined...Once again, U Can Feel like Ur Somewhat...Cursed.
Then Within Tha Last Year, Like Never Before...I've Had 2 deal with Wanting Somethang or Somebody U Can't Have.
Like, It was so weird...Meet Ladies Galore, but still Couldn't Hook up with Some for Lunches or a Night Out, With Start out Ballin' then End Back at $0 on Luv's Cash Cab.
I would...I Do just wonder...Why did These People even come into My Life in Tha First Place?...Did Their Presence Make Me Go Deep into My "Self-Motivation" Lab?
This Past Year I would remain strong, but get a little T'd Off for real...I mean, There's Only so Many Hard Punches One can take...And I felt like I couldn't take too Many Jabs.
So I tried to Push Through as Best as I Could...If U've Read our Diary, U Might Could've said U've Seen Sum of Our Best Work.
As A Ball Player for Life...One Thang That I Learned when Things aren't going Ur Way...Go Even Harder on Tha Practice Court.
I then revealed more of myself, hoping That Somebody would see that they aren't alone...As I Go 2 Tha Top, This Diary Could Serve as a Life Saving Rope.
But Tha More Real I Got...And The Better and...(Cough, Cough!)...Tha Sexier I Got, Tha More I Felt Alienated...Like Me and McLovin Could've Formed a Club Exclusively for Rejected Dorks!
Everythang Seemed SSA Backwards...Backwards!!! That's Funny if U Like Donkeys and Bad Luck!!
I Mean...Wait Hold On....
(Tha Following Post will Perhaps Contain Language Not Suitable For Ages Under Tha Galaxian Limit. What That Is, Only Tha Galaxy Knows...But A Galaxian Advisory Has Been Warned. Now Where was I?)
Ok...I Was at Wait Hold On...Yeah, So...So Many Times After another Crazy Day or Episode, I would Come Home Like, "What Tha F--k?"
How Can Somebody Give Their All, Believe In Luv, Fun, God, Hope and Tha Impossible Becoming Possible So Deeply, and Still Be Left Holding a Counterfeit Buck.
Then Thoughts of Like, 'Why Am I Going So Hard, When Nobody Else is?' Began 2 Creep In. With Bewilderment on Why Tha More $ U Have and The Harder U Strive...Tha More U Seemingly Suck.
Then ON TOP OF THAT...Yeah, this is A Lot for a Thursday Huh?!...But 2 Pop Tha Cherry like Uncle Luke, U Got Myself with an Ego of "One Day I'm Gonna Rule Tha World...Just Watch."
From Life or Luv, and Career Wise...It felt like Every Door was Bolted Shut, No Matter What I Did...Maybe 2 Get Some Attention I should've Worn a Forever 21 Blouse?!!
But I felt So Alone...Cuz Like Nobody Can Understand What I'm Going Through...Continually and Continually...I'm just a Joey in Life's Kangaroo Pouch!
It Got 2 Be Sooooo Confusing....How Come These Gurls Think I'm Super Cool and Hot...But When I interact with This one or That One...They Act Like They Don't Touch Tha Surface of Getting Aroused?
See, I'm One of Those Guys Who's Always Been like...Ok, U Tell Me 2 Do This or That...And U'll Get That Reward...I'll Do This or That...Now Where's My Gift?
I have no problem in doing tha dirty work or Making a Fool of Myself if it means that Doing so will Make Myself Better and Stronger...Or Giving Another Boy or Gal a Sometimes Needed Lift.
I'm That Guy Who's Doesn't Care...That Gurl Ain't Worth A Dime or She's A Freak Who Screws All Tha Guys...Just because U've Made Circles around Tha Block, Don't Mean U Can't get a Ring from...Tif.
But No Matter How Much I Fought 2 Get Out of This "Funk"...Tha More I Felt Glued to Disappointment by Peanut Butter Made by Jif.
Tha Closer U Got...Tha Tougher It Became...A Job or Two would Pop Up...U Knew U were Perfectly Qualified...Only 2 Get a Call That Tha Employer went Another Way.
Come On! Can U Really Even Look Me in Tha Eye and Tell Me That Somebody was Better Than Me For that Position?...That Sounds Like Some Child's Play.
U Do That Best U Can 2 Keep Ur Head High, When Down Inside Ur Competitive Nature is Burning Up...Wondering 2 Get Ur Dream Gig...Is It Easier to Find Tha HR Manager and Friday Night Lay?
I Tell You...I was Almost At My Wits End...Make me Want 2 Call Up Crucial Conflict and asked if in Their Barn They Still Had Tha Hook Up on Some Bomb "Hay!"
We've Said a Gazillion Times...And I strongly Believe That Tha Only Reason U Won't Date Me is Because Ur Gay or Have A Boyfriend...And Of Course, I Ran Into Both...Go Figure.
Like...Just Because U Are Gay with a Gurlfriend or Whatever..Doesn't Mean we can Hang Out...I'm Not Gonna Try 2 Do You and Turn U Out and Straight...That Can't Be Done over Just One Bottle of Liquor.
I Live Beyond Sexuality and Races and Stuff...I Don't even Want Tha World...Just My Name of Austino Galaxia Tells U That My Dreams are a Whole Lot Bigger.
My Lifestyle Has Been Blessed with So Much Fun and Material Thangs That I have No Choice To Not Be a Hoarder But an All Tha Time Giver.
Then Of Course...I began 2 See EXACTLY What I Want In A Girl...From Senses of Humor 2 Style and Dress...All Tha Way to Having a Belly Button Being Pierced.
Like Tha Only Thang 2 Keep Me From Going All Out was Respect for Tha Luv Game and...A Boyfriend...Even Though That Gurl's Swagger Can Be Defined as Super Fierce.
I Would Literally Pray...Lord, I just want This Gurl 2 Be Ever So Happy...If She's With Her Man or With Me...It Doesn't Matter...Just Let Everyday for her Be All Laughs and Never Be Filled With Tears.
And...Even As I Saw Her On Today...It's Still Tough...Cuz It Put Me In A Situation I've never Dealt With, Even After All These Years.
We Profess Ourselves to Have Tha Ultimate Respect for Love and Relationships, and a Strong Believer in That What U Do...Good or Bad Will Also Be Done Unto You.
So I Would See This Gurl, and Think, "Man...I Know She's Happy...But I Want Her 2 Have More...Not Just Materialistically But In Terms of Goofiness, Laughs And Fun"...Otis, What Would Hova Do?
You Have Had Tha Most Beautiful Faces In Ur Black Book...But No One has Inspired You Like Her...Should U Go Hard Like Balls That Turn Blue?
If U Do, U'll Go Against Everythang That U Believe Respecting a Dame and Her King...Even Though Down Deep Inside U Know That Tha Combo of U Two is Comparable 2 Having Pandora Radio in a 911 Coupe.
It's Tough When U Feel Tha Attraction...And U Think Inside..."That Would Be Tha Ultimate Match."
Like Rubbing Sticks in Tha Middle of Tha Woods...A Fire Would Ignite That Any Gal Who Believes in Luv Would Want 2 Catch.
But...I Had 2 Lay Back In Tha Cut...And Realize That Now I Have A Standard...I Can Consider Her Tha One Who Ripped off of My Heart My Bandage Patch.
She Was Tha Most Difficult Episode I've Perhaps Ever Had...She's Probably Reading This With Her Hoody On...Hey Gal, I Had Tha Suitcase of Fun and Luv...But Ur Beauty is What Opened it's Locked Up Latch.
(I Have Faith That Tha Girl I'm Talking About Felt Her Heart Beat As She Read This...If It Did...Then, Yes I am Talking about You. If U Didn't Know...Now U Definitely Know! Continuing on...)
So After Being So Close To Who And What I've Desired...And Still not having it for myself...A Lot of Soul Searching Began...Wondering How Much Do I Have Left? Haven't I've Done Enough?
See...What's So Difficult is Doing What People, Parents, Teachers, and McGruff Tha Crime Dog, have Told U 2 Do...And Still Feel So Naked in Tha Buff.
I Have No Problem Pulling a Rihanna and Showing My Goodies...I mean My Ego isn't Tha Only Reason U Can Call Me Mr. Big Stuff!
It's just Sometimes After Smoking Candy Cigarettes All Ur Life...U Finally Want To Taste a Thick and Juicy Cuban...I Mean That In EVERY WAY! At Least One Puff...
What I've Learned is That Tha Closer U Get 2 What U Want...The More Challenging it Can Become...It's Just Life's Course.
As I Layed In My Bed With Thoughts of Heave Hoeing My Standards of Living and Diet Out Tha Window, Because Tha Constant Shouting of Obscenities Has Left My Voice Completely Hoarse.
Two Choices Popped Into My Head...I Can Either Dig Down Deeper Like I've Never Have Before...Or I Can Continue 2 Cry and feel some Self-Remorse.
That's Why I Say..."Being Urself" is Tha Most Difficult Thang 2 Do In Life...Cuz Being Like Others Allow U 2 Be in Tha Most Populated Stable...But Being Urself...Dude...That's a Derby Only Run by A Solo Horse.
I Got 2 Say This...If U Have A Lot of "Stuff"...Whether That's Looks, Money, Fame or What Have U...Life has a Way of Keeping U Humble...2 Make U Go Further That U Even Thought U Could.
Like With That Gurl I Was Talking About...I Always Believe She's "Tha Perfect Storm"...From Her Name, Hair, Curves, Ethnicity...Like Life Was Wondering How Can I Act When With Her I Cannot Pull.
When People Are In Ur Ear, and Some Thangs Can Come Easily...U Can Become Not Only Relaxed and Comfortable...But think That Life Owes U Something...Not just think, but Know That It Should.
This is A Diary For Tha Achievers in Tha Galaxy...So When Things seem Black Balled in Ur Life...Can U Keep Going When U know Ur A Diamond, That's Stuck in Tha Rough...Tha Best of All Tha Pearls.
A Lot of Soul Searching and I Gotta Be Honest...At Least for Me...A Lot of Putting "Blinders" on and Not being So Caught Up with What Others Are Doing Per Se.
That's Why I Deleted My Social Networking...Right Now I'm on a Freakin' Mission To Become One of Tha Best...And I Can't Get Distracted By What Tha Jones' are Doing Everyday.
Cuz it Can ---- Up Ur Mind, Thinking...How Come My Man Don't Take Me Out 2 Dinner? Or How Come My Gurl Doesn't Pose with a Nice Toosh Like Her? Makes Ur Mind Go Every Which a Way.
When In Reality, A Picture Doesn't Tell U What Goes On Behind Tha Scenes...Perhaps That was Tha First Dinner in 5 years a Couple Had...Or Maybe That Perfect Toosh Doesn't Make Up for Her Snobby Days.
When U Go Through Tough Times Through...And Those Moments of ABSOLUTE Doubt...That's When U're Ready...They Say That The Best Teachers Have Had 2 Go Through Tha Toughest Lessons.
That's Why Tha Best Way To Overcome Difficulty is Not 2 Ignore It, but To Recognize That It's There...U Don't Have 2 Do So Openly, like My Diary...But in Some Way...Make a Soulful Confession.
Nobody Has 2 Even Know about it...U Can Do It in a Freakin' Bathroom...Sometimes...All Jokes Aside...But Ur Most Insightful Thoughts Come In Those Closed Door-Bathroom Stall Sessions.
If U Have a Busy Life Like Mine...That's Perhaps Tha Only Quiet Time U'll Have All Day...I've Learned That With Much Given...Much is Required...And U Have 2 Find Moments Where Nobody's A Messing.
Speaking of Messing...I've never dated a Pseudo Red Haired Beauty Before But Debra Messing is Freakin' Hot...Just Saying.
Now Where Was I...Oh...So Yeah, That's What We've Been Encountering Tha Past Year, and Now I Can Just Have Fun....I'm Not Playing.
U Can Wondering Why Things Happen For Ur Friends But Not 2 You...But U Got 2 Hang in There...To Prove That "You're Tha Best"...Is A Slogan That U Are Worthy of Carrying.
Everybody Doesn't Get a Luv at First Sight Queen...And If Ur a Guy Living in Miami, U Truly Understand That 2 Get a True Dime Piece...U Got To Keep Knocking Time and Time Again Before U Go a Merrying.
Got 2 Say This, and Then I'm Done...I Was Feeling a Little Down at Tha Beginning of My Workout Yesterday At Tha Gym on Collins Avenue.
Almost Felt as If I was getting "Hated On" For My Success...Felt Like LeBron's First Season With Tha Heat...Where is All This Silent Treatment Coming From...Like I Had No Clue.
Matter of Fact His Nike Commercial From That Year.... (Click Here)....Sums Up My Thoughts...And How Every Which a Way They Flew.
It's Like I Used 2 Get Cheers From Certain People...But Now I Got a Feeling of I'm Getting...Boo's.
Yet...A Voice Within Told Me This Simple Thought...Every Great Player at One Time or Another Got Booed.
Meaning That Even Though Literally I didn't Hear Tha Boo Birds...Actions Can Sometimes Indicate "Hatarade"...But Now I Know what 2 Do.
In Sports, When Ur "One of Tha Best" or 'Good at What U Do'...Then People Boo U Out of Respect and U shouldn't Take It Personal When So Called Friends Turn On You.
Like in Tha Above Nike Commercial James Crockett Said.."Just Gotta Deal With Tha Heat, Man...Be Patient...After Awhile When Tha Temperture Drops...Everythang Is Free and Easy."...So Boo!!
Cuz If U KNOW Ur Doing Tha Best U Can, and Have Survived Tha Tests And Trials...Then U Can Have Swagger of Knowing Ur Time is Coming, and When it Hits...It's Gonna Hit Nice.
That Moment is Gonna Be Super Special, Just Knowing That Lucky "7" and No Longer 'Snake Eyes' will Be Bouncing Off Tha Dice.
Money, Sex, Gurls Who Are Taken, and Egos Can Try U To Tha Max...But U know Inside What Is Tha Only Thang That Would Suffice.
In Tha Galaxia Diner, I just Heard, "ORDER 21 IS NOW READY!"...I've Had My Fork Ready For Years...
...For This "Fun and Luv Pie" And Tonight U've Learned How I Feel...
As I'm About 2 Finally Take My First Slice!!!
What Don't Kill U...Makes U Stronger.
Toodles With Luv!
Galaxia!
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