Assignment: Roses Are Red.

Previously on The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia...

We had an Assignment of Galaxian Proportions:

'... I'm sending your talents to South Beach, kid.  I want u to find everything u can dig up about him.'

"Everysthing??"

'E...verything..'

Followed by a very memorable Ring Night....


"...some kind of Championship Ring event going on.  I know the Miami Heats won zhe championship, and so I guess he was gonna get the...let me see...'Bling, Bling'."

'Did u get to him?'

"I almost did Boss, but here's what happened..."

'U better get the real scoop on this guy or else...'

And topped off with a special gift box  for Yammi...

"...Backs to zhis box...it's a small microphone, it's looks likes a microphone, shapes like a one...what does zhe instructiones say...I've never seen rules so...ah...la sim-ple....I'm so smart!  Ha ha!  Zhis looks like zhe best in zhe world's...That bloody Bond thought he had me, Ha!  I'm zhe best, now with zhe best...I must needs to test it outs..."

Which ended with a possible love interest for Galaxia himself...


'Well, I got u a big scoop...Are you ready?'

"Yep."


'...talked to her sources, who talked to their sources are pretty confidant that ur boy, Sir Galaxia is about to approach this very attractive lady...And you better be there, when it all goes down.'



'...Source tell Sir Yammi, what happened between him and this young lady and what's about to go down.'

"Sure, Babe's...(Smack, Smack!)...You see..."

And with that...we now introduce to you today's episode of The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia...
Enjoy!

"Waits a minute...before u even's go into a ze-tail...did you's see some kinds of love's between them?"

'Listen, Babes...(Smack, Smack!)...I know what I saw and I'm just saying honey, that I'm pretty confidant...'

"It's confident...geez, zhese Americans!!"

'Whatever honey...all I know that knowing how Galaxia thinks he's all that, and how he thinks he can get any woman, and how he's a bigger risk-taker than Rosanne Barr on Election night...he's gonna try to get them digits and try to show her tha real Milky Way if you know what I'm mean, Ok, girl!!'

"Who are you's...talkings too?  What did you see?"

'(Smack, Smack)....(Smack, Smack)'

"Well..."

'Boss, you better tell your boy he don't know me like that.  Cuz apparently he don't watch The First 48...Ok.  (Smack, Smack).'

"We know, whale of an episode if I must say so!  Yammi's just...u have to prove urself to him, so just tell me what was up and how u came to this conclusion about our subject."

'Alright...u know I luv's youu...'

"I know.  Continue on."

'So...my girl just got out of the Bliss Spa up near 23rd and Collins, right next to the W Hotel.  She got her nails done up, her Brazilian blow out was looking fierce, that skin was glowing, my girl was looking right!  So, as she walked out the door, she began to walk, and next thing I know it, my phone began to vibrate and ring.  I usually don't answer the phone when Hot in Cleveland is on...and especially since they wer...hold on, I gotta spit out my gum...(Phew!)...since they were showing that episode when all tha girls were going on their Birthdates, but once I heard my ringtone....'

"Let me guess...ah's...Celine Dion?  I love's her...mu-sick."

'Naw, Yaggi, or Yaddi or whatever u call urself...Honey, party girls in Miami don't listen to that stuff.  My ringtone is that David Guetta and Kid Cudi..."All tha crazy stuff I did tonig..."'

"Ah...zhat does remind me of when David and his wife Cathy had zhis party at's zhe Eiffel..."

'I'm talking!!...So I get tha call from my girl who's like, "You wouldn't guess who just walked out of the gym?"  I ask, 'Who?'.  And she says, "Austino Galaxia".  I still like saying that name...my girl knew I've been checking him out for some time so she's keeping an eye out for me...So she's walking and he notices My Galaxia staring into the window of this clothing store right next to tha doors to Tha Perry South Beach where he works out.  He gave a look inside, and by how he like double looked inside, my girl knew  that he definitely eye-f...'

"Watch ur language my love..."

'Sorry, Boss...she knew that he caught eye-feelings with this girl inside.  So, then my homegirl walks by Galaxia, and took a glance into this store, and she knew who he was looking at.'

"Zho's...was he's...looking at?"

'Well, it was this one girl, who nobody knows but my girl...we get tha scoop, ya heard...this one girl, Galaxia has been noticing for sometime, from seeing her around, and I think this is tha first time they actually caught eyes, and he knew where she works at.'

"Was zhe a...look-er?"

'She's really pretty.  Like, really attractive....black hair, brown eyes, Jersey Shore tan, cute face, swagged out style...a Galaxia type of girl.'

"Ha!  Galaxia has many types...but I know's she was hot...But me questioning for you's is...how can u say he's gonna make a move just by him and this beauty sharing a eye version of how do u call it...footsy?"

'I just know alright!  Listen, I don't got time for this Law and Order crap...I gotta go, besides I gotta go and hit up tha Bal Harbour shops and get my outfits together for this Madonna concert in a few day.  Boss, give me a call whenever u wanna...u know.  Yatti or Yaggi...lose this memory!' 

(Click.)

"Ah...Boss...I don't knows about...her."

'Yammi, she's reliable, but I don't know either.  By what he wrote a little bit ago, I think he's letting love come to him, and he's done chasing.'

"Besides...Boss...from, ah...froms me experience alones...just because you're seen with a lot of top shelf, beautiful, creme of de creme, high notch, stallion material, fantasy, dirty hot, mad cool..."

'Yammi, get to tha point.'

"Just because ur's around so many women of exquisite taste, doesn't mean you's wanna get in thems..."

'True.  So what else have u gotten  about this Galaxia fellow?'

"Boss.  Ah...today's was a wild."

'That's what I like to hear...so what went down?'

"Someone's...ah...going down?"

'No, nitwit, what happened?!?!'

"Oh...well's...Galaxia almost ran out of gas today.  Like he was driving on E all the way past zhe red markers in zis vehicle.  I was a following him in zhe Aston...ands I thoughts zhe's was a donkey without's a fence to jump."

'Yammi, are you on drugs again?'

"I don't think so...I've just been trying zhese new tic tacs zhat zhis guy at zhe club...ah...lended to me.  He said my breath smelled like I've been gargling...gar-bage...and  he let me have zome...and..."

'Didn't you learn anything up in Boarding School?...Don't take anything from strangers, especially inside of the club....J.K.R. told me I shoulda hired that Harry Potter  fellow..(Huge Blow)...please continue...'

"Who?...So I's was following Sir Galaxia, and he just made it to's a very crowded gas station...and..."

'Yammi, I send you to Miami Beach, the glitz, the glamour, and the fun, and the best you can come up with is this Galaxia guy almost running outta gas?'

"Zhere's some more Boss...like, after's that he was...ah...he almost hit this girl who was walking a jay in zhe street.  She stopped in front of him, in the middle of zhe roads, and pointed at him...and zhen called him something about a...don-key's boo-tay."

'U're stuck on this donkey thing aren't you?  What can u tell me that I don't already know, and hurry up I got a Squash judging contest at tha Farmer's Market in 20...GIVE ME SOMETHING YAMMI!!'

"Ok Boss, I'll give you something..."

'I need something about his deep personal life, and his love life.  It's supposed to be all this and that, and you haven't given me anything. How about this...I'm gonna send another one of our agents down there to help you out.'

"Stop a Boss...(Huge Sigh!)...I can give you's names, and specifics..."

'If this job is too big for me....'

"Boss, I haven't been a up front with you, just because zhis Galaxia has a very intriguing life.  So much a fun...(Another Huge Sigh.)...He's about's too go on a major shopping trip...and...and..."

'Yes.'

"That girl your source was talking about..."

'Yeah...'

"She's an option, but not the only one...cuz there have been a lot of cool people and beautiful girls zhat Galaxia is meeting constantly but this one has been in some real talks with Galaxia, and I think they are a becoming a possible...friendly."

'What can you tell me about her?'

"Nothings a serious...as we...said before...but she wasn't born in America...she loves ah....musica variety...dresses well...and...I think they have that nervousness when they are around each other..."

'You know her name don't you.  What is it?'

"See...I'll give you two words as a clue."

'Alright.'

"Manu Ginoblli."

'All these rumors and nothing but these empty ended love clues.  Call me back when u have some real evidence.'

"But Boss, that says it all...I guess I could just tell him her name is..."

A.G.

'

Assignment: Gift Box

During the previous episode of The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia, we followed a very determined and swagged out Yammi going after his man...we witnessed Galaxia get a very coveted piece of "bling"...and we ended with a heated conversation between the Boss and his star Spy about staying on task while in South Beach.

What does today's episode entail?  Let's find out...Enjoy!

Yeah, I know, dude...she was tryings to's play me?!  Ha!  I told her zhat's I was a French Canadian  and next thing u know it...Zhey always say zhat to begin withs...Just like zhat New Year's Eve in Montreal...Believe you me I didn't know anythings about Foreign's Exchanges, but after...I knows...U'll be surprise with how far a Euro would go!...Ha Ha!!..You's right...or how's low!

(Knock, Knock, Knock!) 

I'ma have to calls you back, my Fa-ther, someone's at me hotel door...Luv you too.  Bye.

(Knock, Knock, Kn-)

Yes, Monsieur!

"Are you Yammi De La Sota?"

Yes, I am...if zhis had anything to do with...ah, last night at Man-shone...she said she was of an age le-gal, and her I.D. showed she lived in Duckburg, which she said was on the West Coast and she even showed me's a picture of her with her neighbors...I thinks their names where Donald's and la Scrooge McDuck reside, so I knew by how she dressed that she was from a town of...uh...great wealth...yeah. So if I guilty of falling for some skin a cinnamon and a nice boot...

"Hold it Sir.  Number one, I'm not the Miami Beach Police, I'm simply just the concierge down at the lobby, ok.  Number two, Sir, I have a delivery for you."

Is zhis for's real?  Zhis isn't some return for what happened in News York, when I had a little jokey joke with a friend involving that blindfold and...ah...plung-her is it?

"Look, dude.  I don't know what u do behind close doors, and from this first five minutes it seems like u have a serious problem.  All I wanna do is give u this box, and have u sign right here showing that you received it."

You say sign?

"YES!! C'mon guy, I gotta go.  My whole night's all plan out...The Lakers play tonight, and before that is the Season Premiere of Nuestra Belleza Latina, and I heard tha ladies are gonna do a dance tribute to Jay Low this episode, so come....on!!"

Zhe Lakers.  Ha!  So what do feel about zhe D'Antoni overs Zhe Zen Mas-ter?

"I think u need to give me back my clipboard, take this cheap Tiffany box and stop messing with under-age girls down here in Miami, we don't roll like that chump!"

(A snatch and a walk away.)

"HEY, EYE'S THOUGHT WHEN THERE'S GRASS ON ZHE FIELD....you plays a ball..."  Whatevers.  What is this thing? Geez, it's from my's Boss.  Urrr-gent. Huh... Let's opens this ups...Oh, how I luvs Charlie Brown comics, it brings such a smiles to my face, and let's me know my's Boss is a thinking of me.  Ok.  A small box with's a note:

DEAR YAMMI,
IF YOU'RE GONNA TRACK DOWN THIS GALAXIA CHARACTER,
YOU'RE GONNA NEED THIS.

AND P.S.
THE NEXT TIME YOU GET MY ASTON TOWED, IT'S COMING OUTTA YOUR CHECK.
THE NEXT TIME YOU GET MY ASTON TOWED, AND I SEE YOU ACTING A FOOL, AND GETTING THROWN TO THE GROUND ON AN EPISODE OF SOUTH BEACH TOW, GUESS WHAT?

("What?")

YOU'RE FIRED.  NOW GET ME MY SCOOP!
YOU KNOW WHO IT'S FROM.

My Boss can be such a blah, sometimes.  I stills wonder whys they didn't's give, ah, Charlie Sheen zhe job.  We would've partied zhe nights...a-way!  But...Noooo....Blah, Blah, Blah...Fooey!  Backs to zhis box...it's a small microphone, it's looks likes a microphone, shapes like a one...what does zhe instructiones say...I've never seen rules so...ah...la sim-ple.  Let's see...

YES, I AM A MICROPHONE!

I'm so smart!  Ha ha!  Zhis looks like zhe best in zhe world's...That bloody Bond thought he had me, Ha!  I'm zhe best, now with zhe best...I must needs to test it outs.  Now where's me card fors...zhe Metrobus?

A top agent must be undie-covers...let me see if this thing works....

"U stupid Dolphins why you keep turning the ball over!"

These Americans and how zhey treat their pets...likes...hor-a-bull. Let's keep walking...

"I know you want me, You know I want cha, I know you want me, You know I want cha..."

Hey, zhat sounds likes my an-them coming from that bedroom wins-dow...Wait's...where are my's bino-culars?  Shoot, she saws a me....Gots to go...(Zoom!)

"Get out, right now. I hate you!  Cheater!  We through...Hey, Oye!  Besame el trasero!  Oh, I forgot u don't speak Spanish, well then how about u translate this...You can 'Kiss my..."

Zhese people are so crazy down here in South Beach.  How's I'm gonna find zhis Gala...Zhere he is.  Zhere he is.  Ok.  No needs to be nervous.  Let me hide in zhese bushes...Ouch...It looks like he's walking with a back-pack on.  Zabout's to work out...perhaps.  Here's a guy walking towards him.  Blond hair.  Sunglasses...Holds la mus-tard.  Zhis looks like a guy zhat Galaxia just wrote about.  What are zhe odds?  Zhis will be's a good test, let's see if this thangs works....

Guy:  What's going on?
Austino Galaxia:  What's up, bro?
Guy:  Hey, aren't you the guy I saw at the DMV?
Austino Galaxia:  Yeah, man.  What's up!
Guy:  OMG!  My family doing better...leasing this place...
Austino Galaxia:  Good bro.

(Slight Pause.)

Guy:  Umm...Are you Gay?
(Oh, this is getting good now!)
Austino Galaxia:  Naw, I'm straight man...See you later, bro.

Hold on, hold on....Did I just see zhis guy make a pass at Sir Austino Galaxia?  I ah...remembers reading a diary about him and his episodes with guys making a...move on him, but now I sees it up a close.  He does have guys and girls after hims.  Crazy...I gotta call my Boss.

(Ring....Ring...)

"Run Your Mouth."

Hey Boss.

"Yammi.  U better not be calling me from the City Pound!!"

Naw Boss, we's just saw something's with zhis Galaxia fellows...

"Ok.  What?"

This guy just made a pass at him, just like u told me.

"So what, guys are after him too...Don't u think I already know, Yammi.  He has a crazy life...That's why I got u down in South Beach to follow him.  What else have you got?"

Well, I had a tough time catching up with him after that...He walks everywhere, from his, how does he call it...his show-room to Wal-greeens to..ah...Zhe Laundrymat...to zhis place called...a la Fresh Mar-ket.

"Please say you didn't try any free samples of wine."

I had to Boss...they were fine, and so was the hostess.

"No more drinking on company time, alright...."

Yes, Boss.  But he's a man about tha town.

"Well, I know u're working hard to find out what you can find.  But...hold on, Yammi, I gotta take this call.  Hold on for a sec."

Sure Boss...Humm...Humm....Humm..."Promis-cu-ous Girrrl...Where-ever u are..."...Humm...."Promiscuous Girrrl....You're teasing me...You know what I want...And I got what you ne..."

"Yammi, you there?"

Yeah, Boss, just love when they play a fellow Canadian on tha hold line!

"Well, I got u a big scoop...Are you ready?"

Yep.

"I just got off the phone with a very reliable source..."

How's...re-lie...a-bull?

"Let's just say she knows more about celebrity relationships...to put it short, she tells me of  break ups before anyone, especially that TMZ could even get a hold of it."

But's Boss...anybody can do that.

"Perhaps, but she told me before the couple even meets."

Oh.

"From her, who talked to her sources, who talked to their sources are pretty confidant that ur boy, Sir Galaxia is about to approach this very attractive lady."

Now,Boss when u say "approach", is that like in zhose 'stick-them-up' movies or is zhat in a "what's your sign" kinds of way.

"U know what I mean.  And you better be there, when it all goes down.  I wanna know before anybody else. You got it.  Matter of fact, I have my source on the line right now, and she can tell you all about what happened...Yammi, you still there."

Yes, Boss.

"Source, are you still there?"

"Hey, Babe's!"  (Gum Smacking!)

"Ok, Source tell Sir Yammi, what happened between him and this young lady and what's about to go down."

"Sure, Babe's...(Smack, Smack!)...You see..."

A.G.

Assignment: Ring Night.

(Previously on The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia...Click Here.)

And now, the newest episode....Enjoy!


('Gimme Gimme More...Gimme...Gimme Gimme More... Gimme Gimme More...Gimme...Gimme Gi....')

"Who in the world can be calling me right now?  Zhis only 9am in the morning?"

('Gimme Gimme More...Gimme...Gimme Gimme More...')

"I'm comin', just hold jour horses....Chello."

"Yammi.  Are you awake?"

"I am's right now, Boss.  What's up?!"

"I need an update Yammi.  I haven't heard from you since I sent you down to Miami to catch up with this Galaxia character.  Why haven't u picked up the dial to let me know what's going on.  U've been partying haven't you?  I can smell the Ciroc through this horn.  Tell me the truth."

"Well, Boss, you's see...while being down here in South Beach, looking and finding that Galaxia guy, I noticed that they had some kind of International Auto Show going on in the neighborhoods...So I just had to stop and see the product, so to speak, and I had to take one back to my hotel."

"Don't tell me u bought a new Ferrari!  U know this is coming out of ur paycheck...u do no this right?!

"No's Boss...I'm talking about something a little more expensive, something a little more...prettier per se...and a little something that has a little more power in the trunk, if u catch my snowdrift..."

"I always do.  So tell me, have u found anything on this Austino Galaxia.  His whereabouts...anything."

"Well's yes...and no."

"Tell me the 'No' first..."

"No...meanings, I haven't talked to him yet."

"And the 'Yes'..."

"Boss, this guy's how do these young people call it...he's mighty wicked."

"Please eloborate."

"I don't know what eloborate or whatever u just said means, so I'll just tell you what I've seen with my own eyes."

(Silence on the phone.)

"Ok, Boss.  So I slipped into the Galaxia fellow's living quarters.  Pretty nice for a kid, I must says...I came upon this piece of art work, that looks like a self-promotion of his personality.  I dissected it some and put it into my mental com-pu-tour."

"Alright, sounds like a start, continue on."

"After I tic-tac-toed out his apartment...I..."

"No ad libs, Yammi.  Just tha facts, alright."

"Sorry, Boss.  I left his apartment and began to search for clues for where Austino...I likes saying that name...Aus-tine-oh...might be.  I was hungry so I stopped by this supermarket called Pub-plex...or Purplexed..."

"Publix."

"Yes sir, How's u know?  But after picking up some cheese and crackers that were on sale, I happened to ask the cashier about this star's whereabouts.  And the girl, told me that Galaxia was just in there like the day before."

"Now, we're getting somewhere."

"She told me how Galaxia picked up everything from canned vegetables, to sweet potato tots or something, to my favorite, as well, Eggo Nutri-grain Blueberry waffles.  Great minds thinks a like. I then asked, where she thinks Austino will be hanging out on this particular evening.  She told me to try the American Airlines Arena...She heard there was gonna be some kind of event going on there.  I gave her a peck on the cheek, and was off to this event.  Hey, boss..."

"Yes..."

"Miami radio is so...different from up in Canada.  Have u heard this guy called...Zha Dream."

"Perhaps, why?"

"Well, that song jas been stuck in my head...it goes somethings like..."Rock to tha beat for ur boy...Shorty is a Ten!....I likes."

"I didn't send u down there to become a DJ alright.  So did u go to this party or what?"

"Ok.  I walk in...they had free parking inside.  More money for tha club. He-he!...I then see all zhese people inside of this 4th Gate area, and I decide to sneak in.  They were taking names at zhe door, but I snuck past them.  MacGyver, James Bond, Ha!  All amateurs!...I noticed everybody dressed up, with a large group of ladies standing to my right.  I luvs a Miami!"

"Continue."

"I noticed though all zhe signs saying that this was some kind of Championship Ring event going on.  I know the Miami Heats won zhe championship, and so I guess he was gonna get the...let me see...'Bling, Bling'."

"I see you've been listening to Lil Wayne as well.  I really gotta get you out of South Florida...Go on."

"I wasn't shore that he was actually inside, but then I saw his name scrolling across all the flat screens in the place.  So he had to be there.  All of a sudden, I heard someone welcoming everyone to the event, and saying there was gonna be a tour before the party really kicks off."

"So..."

"Boss, I finger filed my way into the congo line, and we walked through the arena.  Boss, we went through 'Zo's area' which was the weight room for the team.  And then we went through zhe Heat's locker room.  I saw all of theirs from Mario to Zee Wade's and even Lebron's who has one empty locker next to his.  So u can say he has two...Just like Austino did when he played.  The best players always do...Past the trainer's room, and into the lobby I stood in front of the elevators.  When my eyes, looked and I saw...him."

"What did he look like."

"Tough to describe, he has this half runway, half vintage store look.  He had on this sexy European John Varvatos vest on.  But then he had on this pink BCBG shirt on...Nice, but clearly he got it from the Salvation Army.  I could tell how his sleeves ruffled up.  Definitely not off... zhe runway."

"Whatever Mr. GQ...so did u walked up to him?"

"We got on the same elevator, and it dropped us off to this Suite level, where zhey could pick up zheir ring.  And then the party got started, the music playing and I saw Austino take a seat at a table.  All night he was with these women, whom my sources later told me were Gloria, Dulce and Sybil who he's known for awhile."

"Always surrounded by beautiful women, just like his diary says.  Huh."

"But Boss, I'm not done.  Zo I noticed Galaxia gets up from his seat.  And I decide to sneak a pic-tour of zhis ring.  Boss, it's really, really nice.  It reminds me of my old Equestrian days of yesteryear. Those were some lovely chaps."

"Oh Boy."

"I then noticed Galaxia making a move over to where you can take your pic-tour with the Championship trophy itself.  So I quickly grabbed this grilled shrimp that they had in the littliest cocktail glass I've ever seen.  And slicked my way to see how close I could get to him.  The shrimp was delicious.  It reminded me of the night when Bobby Flay and Rachel Ray got into an argument in Toronto over fried and grilled food.  Oh, I thought the Skydome was gonna blow!"

"Did u get to him?"

"I almost did Boss, but here's what happened.  I began to make my way over to approach...cough, cough...him.  When out of nowhere, this woman came from behind him and smacked him on the butt.  Like she hit a handful of his toosh...He turned around, and she began to talk to him.  He didn't even say a word as she was on him.  While later in line, she was touching and grabbing his arm, and side, I wondered if this was his girl.  But 'No.'  To see this occur with my own eyes...was so exciting.  What u said about him was right....I just walked by as he was taking a picture with zhis tro-fey.  He was holding it like he was in love with her."

"Haven't u done your homework, Yammi?!!  He always is talking about winning and having a Championship lifestyle.  He's in love with it!"

"I guess...so I didn't have a chance to talk or encoun-tour Sir Galaxia.  I began to hang out with some of zhese dancers.."

"Dancers?

"Si, zhe Heat Dancers were inside, and Boss, I'm sorry, but I had a few cocktails, and I began to tell some stories about me and Gretzky in Edmonton, and about to share zhat time at zhe Diesel Ultra Lounge, Sir Galaxia left."

"U're supposed to stick to your job, not...hold on.  I got a call coming from the other end.  U better get the real scoop on this guy or else..."

"But Boss...Boss..."

(Click.  Dial Tone.)

"Shoot... I have another story to tell....and it's just as good.  I have so...much... more to tell..."

A.G.

The Assignment: Galaxia

"So how do you feel about chocolate syrup?  I mean when it's poured...wait a minute, babe, I have to take this call.  I know, I want you too, but...Chello."

"Yammi."

"What's up boss...this better be good, I'm kinda in tha middle of someone...I mean somethings."

"I have an assignment for you.  Where are you at?  Shouldn't you be home sleep?"

"Can't this wait until zee morning, it's like after 1am, I'm chilling down here at this hot new club off of Wilshire, I have the most beautiful angels all around me feeding me some of zee most amazing pieces of chocolate covered fruit, and...oh man, Smooches just grabbed some bananas, Boss u gonna have to make zhis quick, there's some Girls Gone Wild stuff going on tonight."

"Listen!  I pay u to do a job, not to fondle women and do all this other nonsense, no wonder I can't keep ur face outta The Times. U got a sec?"

"Shoot." 

"U recall when we had this conversation in Monte Carlo, about this guy who was gonna be "The Next One", u know, the one who was gonna change the world, make a difference, but also show how the old school gentleman should live..."

"Uh-huh."

"Like when I used to watch Bogie, Frankie, McQueen, Shaft, Rocky and Bullwinkle...all those guys who represented life when it was fun yet knew their stuff, and knew how to treat a lady.  U remember that conversation?"

"Boss, why of course I do.  We was at the beach, and as u were talking this beautiful womans drove by in her Lotus, and I shouted, "Do u really know how to drive a... stick?!...And she replied..."

"For tha last time, just answer tha da...just listen!  Capisce?!!"

"Yes sir."

"Well, I found tha guy I've been  looking for.  It's almost like finding Ponce De Leon's Fountain of Youth, or John Lennon and Yoko's Double Fantasy album..."

"Or a DVD series of Joey, huh boss?!!"

"Yeah, like a DVD series of J...whatever kid.  Anyways, I'm sending your talents to South Beach, kid.  I want u to find everything u can dig up about him."

"Everysthing??"

"E...verything...See, this is what's so weird about this dude.  I've heard he's got the best stories, has one of the most unique diaries I've ever come across on the cyberspace, has a love life that can rival Rodman in '94 and yet nobody knows anything about him.  And I'm DETERMINED to be the first one to blow tha lid off this kid.  It's gonna make us a whole lot of money, and u get to hang out in Miami with sexy ladies and those  Lefron and D Made kids."

"Boss, u mean Sir Lebron and D.Wade?"

"Yeah, them too.  Anyway, here's his name.  Galaxia."

"Galaxia. What kinds of name is that?  Don't tell me he was born on that planet Lovetron!"

"A-ha ha!...A-ha ha!  Silence...I tell the jokes around here.  The kid gots spunk, He already thinks he's larger than life, which is why I'm sending u on this assignment.  Find out more about him, and see if he's really worth the hype.  U got it."

"No prob..."

(Click, Click...dial tone.)

And with that ladies and gentleman, is how I got to this point on today.  My name is the presteigious Yammi. Tha man who can uncover any information u make like and do whatever to please.  Bigfoot...I shot those first pictures...Me.  When Bruce Wayne wanted to fake his own death in Tha Dark Knight Rises, who do u think they called?  Me.  When Jerry wanted to get big muscles so he could outduel Tom, who he call?  Vic Conte...Ha ha!  Ha ha!  Ha ha!...Me.  There isn't anything can't do and and won't do to find out what I need to find out on who I need to find it out on.  And u'll learn a whole lot more about me from my background to my heritage..."O Canada...Our home and na-tive laaand!  Oh Ca...."  Sorry, I get a little, how do u people in America call it...me-tro-sexual...But as u will find out I'm a pretty boy, not ur average in-ves-ta-ga-tour...and the only thing  I loves more than the sight of a beautiful wo-man, is dee-sound of ...a beautiful woman, if u catch my snowdrift. (Wink!)  But in do time, u will know more, but now...

I'm actually in the home of this Galaxia kid right now.  I told you I was zee best.  Now let me see, this place is kind of small, but very diverse.  He likes colours...A Computer...A Sony...that reminds me of a time when I was in To-kay-oh.  Quatre Paroles..."Louis Vuitton Fitting Room".  The first two is where I met this beauty and spent all my money, and the last two is where we both spent all our time!  How dare you?...Together of course!  Ha ha...I crack myself ups...Kylie Minogue, Robbie Williams, Hammer...all these CDs, all over the place.  Who's zhis Drake fellow?  So much stuff...Let me go to the internet to finds out...Boss told me this guy has a diary.  Let me type it in....www.a-u-s-t-i-n-o-galaxia.com's...Ooops!...com.  

Interesting.  All about having fun....What iz zhis??! ...The world's most eligible bachelor?..."Slam!!"  (Computer slams shut!) How can he compare himself to muah.  I've had the best...Hallie...Adrianna...the impeccable Frederique Van Der Wal...who else has held the old and the new Genie In a Bottle in their arms.  Me. Me. Me.  I have to learn more about him...What makes zim tick...And why iz he's zo...slept on.  When I find out...

Ouch!!  What is this?...Is this some kind of painting or....Oh, I think I've found out everything I need to know and it's right here in my hands.  I must take a pic-tour...

My assignment is zover...Zo simpull...but wait....I still need to see this man, in act-shone.

I must.

And I will.

(Stay Tuned.)

A.G.

A Galaxian Announcement!

A Sneak Preview.

This is a very, very, very special post on tonight.  Why u might ask?  Well, because this diary post is an end of sorts in our life and for this diary itself.  We've been hinting that we didn't know when it would be time for all this to end, and on tonight the moment has come.

Our life has been filled with many twists and turns beyond compare.  We've given our heart, mind and soul to make sure that every ounce of our being could be felt in these words.  Hopefully, that goal was met.

So many stories about our love life, and times here in "Tha Land of Tha Beautiful People", of Miami Beach, Florida, more specifically South Beach has given us more material to than a lifetime can hold.

The last post was our 300th (291 posted with 9 secret drafts which are secret to our heart and soul).  That's a lot of full days and nights that I prayed brought joy, tears, questioning, and excitement...each and everyday.  

With that we end this particular edition of Austino Galaxia.



But.


Now the fun is about to really begin...

Something special and very one-of-a-kind is about to happen to our diary.  Let me explain...

We've been saying how we have one of, if not the, funnest life around.  In tha diary, as we once knew it, we feel like u may have gotten a taste of our experiences from a 2-dimensional form.  The stories were there, and the words were spoken, but I don't know if the whole spectrum of our creativity and fun was truly on display.  To be honest, we are absolutely a krazy dude!  For real, and now u're gonna see it at its maximum.

Our diary is now going to have a new form.  It will still tell our life and all that it beholds, but now with a twist.  We hinted at how goofy some of our physical diaries of yesteryear were, and now we are gonna bring it to cyberspace.

I can only guarantee two things:

1.  You will have the most entertaining and fun moments of ur life reading this.
2.  This has not been done before in this form.

We figure that we always dream about the lifestyle that we desire to live, so why not just simply create it.  Absolutely create it!!  Why not, we have the egotism of a star or celebrity so why not...Ooops!  I'm telling too much.

From here on out this diary, in this final form may I might add, will be truly our last run at showing how fun life can be.  We're gonna give it our best shot to make sure that each and every moment u read our diary will present u with the feeling of something special taking place.  We want our soul to reach every emotion in yours.  And bring a smile or some tears to you, in a very creative way.

That's it.

As one door slams shut, and new one opens.  Now u will see not only fun, but also fun remixed.  All I can say is that I promise you, that this is going to be an experience u will never forget.  U may call me crazy.  U may stop reading this diary and call it stupid.  But I do know one thing...

Its going to be a whole lotta fun.

And that is the price of admission itself.

For all that has ever read one of our diaries....I truly want 2 say thank u.

What u are about to experience now is for you.

Sent from above, but for you.

Now...

The Best from The Most Fun.

Here we go....

Austino Galaxia.