Assignment: Ring Night.

(Previously on The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia...Click Here.)

And now, the newest episode....Enjoy!


('Gimme Gimme More...Gimme...Gimme Gimme More... Gimme Gimme More...Gimme...Gimme Gi....')

"Who in the world can be calling me right now?  Zhis only 9am in the morning?"

('Gimme Gimme More...Gimme...Gimme Gimme More...')

"I'm comin', just hold jour horses....Chello."

"Yammi.  Are you awake?"

"I am's right now, Boss.  What's up?!"

"I need an update Yammi.  I haven't heard from you since I sent you down to Miami to catch up with this Galaxia character.  Why haven't u picked up the dial to let me know what's going on.  U've been partying haven't you?  I can smell the Ciroc through this horn.  Tell me the truth."

"Well, Boss, you's see...while being down here in South Beach, looking and finding that Galaxia guy, I noticed that they had some kind of International Auto Show going on in the neighborhoods...So I just had to stop and see the product, so to speak, and I had to take one back to my hotel."

"Don't tell me u bought a new Ferrari!  U know this is coming out of ur paycheck...u do no this right?!

"No's Boss...I'm talking about something a little more expensive, something a little more...prettier per se...and a little something that has a little more power in the trunk, if u catch my snowdrift..."

"I always do.  So tell me, have u found anything on this Austino Galaxia.  His whereabouts...anything."

"Well's yes...and no."

"Tell me the 'No' first..."

"No...meanings, I haven't talked to him yet."

"And the 'Yes'..."

"Boss, this guy's how do these young people call it...he's mighty wicked."

"Please eloborate."

"I don't know what eloborate or whatever u just said means, so I'll just tell you what I've seen with my own eyes."

(Silence on the phone.)

"Ok, Boss.  So I slipped into the Galaxia fellow's living quarters.  Pretty nice for a kid, I must says...I came upon this piece of art work, that looks like a self-promotion of his personality.  I dissected it some and put it into my mental com-pu-tour."

"Alright, sounds like a start, continue on."

"After I tic-tac-toed out his apartment...I..."

"No ad libs, Yammi.  Just tha facts, alright."

"Sorry, Boss.  I left his apartment and began to search for clues for where Austino...I likes saying that name...Aus-tine-oh...might be.  I was hungry so I stopped by this supermarket called Pub-plex...or Purplexed..."

"Publix."

"Yes sir, How's u know?  But after picking up some cheese and crackers that were on sale, I happened to ask the cashier about this star's whereabouts.  And the girl, told me that Galaxia was just in there like the day before."

"Now, we're getting somewhere."

"She told me how Galaxia picked up everything from canned vegetables, to sweet potato tots or something, to my favorite, as well, Eggo Nutri-grain Blueberry waffles.  Great minds thinks a like. I then asked, where she thinks Austino will be hanging out on this particular evening.  She told me to try the American Airlines Arena...She heard there was gonna be some kind of event going on there.  I gave her a peck on the cheek, and was off to this event.  Hey, boss..."

"Yes..."

"Miami radio is so...different from up in Canada.  Have u heard this guy called...Zha Dream."

"Perhaps, why?"

"Well, that song jas been stuck in my head...it goes somethings like..."Rock to tha beat for ur boy...Shorty is a Ten!....I likes."

"I didn't send u down there to become a DJ alright.  So did u go to this party or what?"

"Ok.  I walk in...they had free parking inside.  More money for tha club. He-he!...I then see all zhese people inside of this 4th Gate area, and I decide to sneak in.  They were taking names at zhe door, but I snuck past them.  MacGyver, James Bond, Ha!  All amateurs!...I noticed everybody dressed up, with a large group of ladies standing to my right.  I luvs a Miami!"

"Continue."

"I noticed though all zhe signs saying that this was some kind of Championship Ring event going on.  I know the Miami Heats won zhe championship, and so I guess he was gonna get the...let me see...'Bling, Bling'."

"I see you've been listening to Lil Wayne as well.  I really gotta get you out of South Florida...Go on."

"I wasn't shore that he was actually inside, but then I saw his name scrolling across all the flat screens in the place.  So he had to be there.  All of a sudden, I heard someone welcoming everyone to the event, and saying there was gonna be a tour before the party really kicks off."

"So..."

"Boss, I finger filed my way into the congo line, and we walked through the arena.  Boss, we went through 'Zo's area' which was the weight room for the team.  And then we went through zhe Heat's locker room.  I saw all of theirs from Mario to Zee Wade's and even Lebron's who has one empty locker next to his.  So u can say he has two...Just like Austino did when he played.  The best players always do...Past the trainer's room, and into the lobby I stood in front of the elevators.  When my eyes, looked and I saw...him."

"What did he look like."

"Tough to describe, he has this half runway, half vintage store look.  He had on this sexy European John Varvatos vest on.  But then he had on this pink BCBG shirt on...Nice, but clearly he got it from the Salvation Army.  I could tell how his sleeves ruffled up.  Definitely not off... zhe runway."

"Whatever Mr. GQ...so did u walked up to him?"

"We got on the same elevator, and it dropped us off to this Suite level, where zhey could pick up zheir ring.  And then the party got started, the music playing and I saw Austino take a seat at a table.  All night he was with these women, whom my sources later told me were Gloria, Dulce and Sybil who he's known for awhile."

"Always surrounded by beautiful women, just like his diary says.  Huh."

"But Boss, I'm not done.  Zo I noticed Galaxia gets up from his seat.  And I decide to sneak a pic-tour of zhis ring.  Boss, it's really, really nice.  It reminds me of my old Equestrian days of yesteryear. Those were some lovely chaps."

"Oh Boy."

"I then noticed Galaxia making a move over to where you can take your pic-tour with the Championship trophy itself.  So I quickly grabbed this grilled shrimp that they had in the littliest cocktail glass I've ever seen.  And slicked my way to see how close I could get to him.  The shrimp was delicious.  It reminded me of the night when Bobby Flay and Rachel Ray got into an argument in Toronto over fried and grilled food.  Oh, I thought the Skydome was gonna blow!"

"Did u get to him?"

"I almost did Boss, but here's what happened.  I began to make my way over to approach...cough, cough...him.  When out of nowhere, this woman came from behind him and smacked him on the butt.  Like she hit a handful of his toosh...He turned around, and she began to talk to him.  He didn't even say a word as she was on him.  While later in line, she was touching and grabbing his arm, and side, I wondered if this was his girl.  But 'No.'  To see this occur with my own eyes...was so exciting.  What u said about him was right....I just walked by as he was taking a picture with zhis tro-fey.  He was holding it like he was in love with her."

"Haven't u done your homework, Yammi?!!  He always is talking about winning and having a Championship lifestyle.  He's in love with it!"

"I guess...so I didn't have a chance to talk or encoun-tour Sir Galaxia.  I began to hang out with some of zhese dancers.."

"Dancers?

"Si, zhe Heat Dancers were inside, and Boss, I'm sorry, but I had a few cocktails, and I began to tell some stories about me and Gretzky in Edmonton, and about to share zhat time at zhe Diesel Ultra Lounge, Sir Galaxia left."

"U're supposed to stick to your job, not...hold on.  I got a call coming from the other end.  U better get the real scoop on this guy or else..."

"But Boss...Boss..."

(Click.  Dial Tone.)

"Shoot... I have another story to tell....and it's just as good.  I have so...much... more to tell..."

A.G.