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First off, I'm recovering from a very, very interesting last few days.  I didn't even go out last night, I just couldn't.  Its such a thin line between going all out, and getting some needed rest, which I haven't been getting, at least to our standards.  I mean, I gotta make sure we don't get no wrinkles under tha eyes, u know what I mean.  Guess I'm so superficial when it comes to that, huh.  But, so far even on today, I got some needed rest.  And now, we can live it up, as we want to.  Forgive me for this post, I'm finding it tough to grasp tha words to write.  See what happens...

I need to calm down, don't I?  After tha last post we wrote, I was like spent in some ways.  Just when u really talk about what's going on in ur heart and soul, I don't know, a part of you is released and u'll never get that part of ur soul back.  I've been going so hard...for so long...people just don't understand.  That's what excellence is, I guess, doing something at a high level, for so long, and not just a one time thing.  As we continue to write, for right now, in this diary, and discuss portions of our life that we flat out don't understand,  its like our heart is striving for that goal.  That dream come true.  Interesting.  Sure others have tha same things they are dealing with, just have to move on.  We have to look at everyday as a new at-bat so to speak.  It can be tough to do that, but if we're gonna move forward, that's tha only way.

Now tha other day, something interesting happened. I had tha chance to be around this girl, whom I've had our eye on for a little bit.  But tha cool thing about it was I had a chance to talk to her, directly yet indirectly. U know, instead of being in a high-pressurized situation like a club or singles night at tha Bingo hall, it just happened.  I'm just gonna write, and let it all hang out, I think that's tha best way for this post to be written.  I had a feeling that I was gonna run into her that day.  Sexy look, hair in ponytails, that are seemingly making a comeback here in Miami.  I have grown into tha type of person that isn't chasing tail, so to speak, anymore.  Not to sound snobby or an Elitist (Inside joke from previous post.), but I honestly just don't feel like my ego can do it anymore.  Why should I have to put in days work when, honestly, if u get to know me, u should be putting in work to get to me.  Jokes aside.  We've been blessed with tha ultimate lifestyle in many ways, u gonna get the ultra-experience of fun, so...I think I may hit on that later.  But for now, as usual, I just played it cool.  U may be beautiful, but for us to call u "the most beautiful girl I know", we got 2 get to know ya.

Neat is tha word that can describe getting to know somebody.  Anytime u can share experiences and likes and dislikes with somebody, it's awesome with a capital "A" in our book, ya dig.  But before I go any further I have to say, that tha lessons regarding our life keep getting revealed to us.  Like...Ok....As I was talking to this girl nonchalantly, I could sense that other girls I knew who were around, were like eavesdropping on our conversation.  And to be frankfurter about it...they were interrupting our vibe of sorts.  Was it hating? Not sure about that son.  I didn't say anything, I really just brushed it off, but inside it kind of hit me like, "Here we go again."  We get tha feeling that sometimes...how can I say this safely...we get tha feeling that girls have a way of planting their foot down on their turf whenever a possible threat can be moving in.  Did we say that politically correctly?  Like, I've been in situations where I happen to be single, and I can be chillin' just talking haphazardly or relaxing , alright.  Then, another cutie pie comes into tha room....I'm gonna get loose here, I feel it.  Another girl, who's pretty as such, walks in and begins to give us conversation or game or Vibe magazine, and next thing I know it, tha girl I was just in tha room with basically, begins to trip.  Saying all this stuff in between me and the other girl's talk, just so that she can get attention and be tha focus of tha room instead of tha newbie.  It's a feeling that many guys, and girls really, go through.  This feeling of, even though u are free to be with whomever u want, there's a sense that "Even though I'm not with him, u can't be with him either."  Oh shoot, I think a can of Dennis Rodman's have been opened up!

And tha bunked up thing about it, is that sometimes the people who pull this stunt...have "somebody"!!  I put this in quotes because...I guess I'm tha only one this stuff happens to, so I guess I gotta represent, so I will, cuz I know my love is tha...I be thinking, I'm cool that u have a guy or girl, depending on ur preference, not tripping, not whispering in ur ear, "U can do better" and what not, so why is it that u trip when somebody is trying to connect four with us.  There's a double standard somewhere in there.  But I don't get all bent outta shape, cuz I really, really believe that our love life is bigger than us.  I mean that.

Like when u date us, I think indirectly ur dating a lot of people.  There are a few people...I remember seeing a great ESPN 30 for 30 special on "Tha Great One" aka Wayne Gretzky and his hockey move from Edmonton to Los Angeles in tha 90s.  They were talking about his marriage to starlet Janet Jones, and how when she married Wayne G, she was like marrying tha entire town and divorcing tha entire country!  Wayne was everybody's guy, like a "son" of sorts. So as we're writing this, we since that sometimes people thing that they own us, and that u don't have a life of ur own.  I can handle attention to our life when it comes to our social or love choices.  The thang that gets me though, is don't get out of character when I'm talking to somebody, and she likes to have fun as well, and tha rhythm of tha night (or day) is moving positively.  This happens with guys too.  We would sometimes fight tooth and nails just to get tha attention of gal.  Just to get a glance dude.  If u're interested in somebody, let them know.  Don't disrupt and try to knock down an arrow shot by Cupid.  And if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, u definitely shouldn't be concerned with who somebody else is dating...I mean u're supposed to be hubby'd and wife'd up, so...Why tha hecky pooh should u even care?  Why...

Less they think that we should be with somebody...else.  Kind of stuck on this thang.  We've been in some weird situations in terms of people telling us or suggesting who we should be with, or just tha interest in who we are dating.  Like I said, its a double standard of such.  Been in situations where guys huddled around to see who tha girl I was talking about looked like...Have had girls talk to us and say, "U and such and such make such a good couple."  And this was after just sitting next to a girl, one time in a class...After talking with this one homegirl, had this one guy who was listening in apparently ask us, after she left tha room, "Austin, is that you?!!"  Some wild stuff, plus much, much more.  I guess people want tha best for us, which I can't hate on.

Yellow is tha color of caution.  I can just remember how many women, not girls, but women have told us so many things about dating, just here in Miami.  Like, we've been blessed.  Let's see...I recall, talking to this one woman for like 2 hours, on tha clock.  We got to talking about life, and she began to discuss how her man has changed once they moved in together.  Now mind u, she was in her 40s, but she was spitting this old school knowledge to us. She just keep on saying, "Austin...DON'T DO IT!...DO NOT DO IT!"  And I took it as a sign from above, because she got deeper in saying how girls may try to take advantage of our personality, and "see that we're nice" and then try to manipulate us.  She was talking about guys and girls living together before they get married.  Everybody's different, but I feel like a lot of people feel or would have felt what she was saying to us if they could've heard her.  And I take it as a blessing, cuz a lot of people wished they had someone to tell them that before they made a life altering decision.  As we said, above a lot of people do have an eye on who we're dating, and some do want tha best for us.

This wasn't even part of tha script, but we gonna write.  This could be for tha fellas.  So let's continue.

As I said before, it's been amazing how many lessons I've learned from women down here in Miami.  Not just girls, but women who have been through tha stages of life...of clubbing...of getting drunk...all those things that are sometimes blinded when younger and have lessons that only experience can teach them.  And I'm gonna be even more honest...some of the women that have told me some of tha greatest pieces of wisdom, are women who I think are super attractive, and let's be honest, mega-hot like right now!  We've had some memorable chats..

I can recall having a chat up at the American Airlines Arena with someone who worked up there.  We used to talk a lot about relationships.  She was older than us.  She help teach me how to treat a woman.  As a pseudo-Romeo as we thought we were, it's amazing all the things she would tell us.  How tha little things would always matter.  She was dating this one guy, and she would tell us, how he would make sure that she had "something" in her pocket in terms of money.  That could be $20 or $100, just something to let her know that, not only he cared, but that she could be safe just in case something happened or if she wanted to treat herself.  She would also talk about how he would care for her personal being.  Like getting her hair done, or even go so far to make sure she could keep her cooch...I mean "stuff" clean.  (Parental Discretion is Advised)  Like all those things to keep tha flower blooming takes money, and he wanted her to feel clean and precious, and he wanted her to feel special.  If u feel special in tha places not seen, u'll feel special all over.  I believe that.

She would also tell us stories on tha mindset of a woman when it comes to sex.  I'm telling it today, so if it's too much or 2 deep, click tha 'X' tha top right hand corner, cuz one day this will help somebody.  She would tell me on tha standards of a girl, and how a woman shouldn't just sleep with some and any (There's a difference) body just for tha thrill of it.  She would discuss how a girl is giving up tha most precious thing she has so she better make sure that tha guy she's with, is not only somebody she wants to be with, but somebody who takes care of her.  Now, my doll went so far, as to say that when she has sex with somebody, she expects C.O.D..  What's that u ask...she expects Cash On Delivery!  Not making this up!  Now that is borderline prostitution, but as many guys believe (and some girls), some people are tricking anyway whenever they have sex not for love, but for money, or fame or mind control or  for a new Kors bag or whatever.  That's another conversation.  She taught me that a guy, when he's doing a girl (Perhaps too ris-kay, but makes tha point) shouldn't think that a girl ain't keeping count in her head.  Like any female, ain't gonna consistently keep giving up tha goods, without sooner or later expecting something for her Youtube Oscar performance.  If a girl keeps on giving up sex, and is not getting taken care of financially or mentally or something, then that girl doesn't have standards for herself, and that guy isn't a real man.

Huh.  Or Amen to that.

I came at her on one of those Sunday's at tha Triple A with a situation. I told her that I had an interest in this one girl, but there was a problem.  A serious one cuz I really was feeling the vibe me and this girl were having.  And I really thought she had that "one" potential.  She asked what tha problem was.  I just told flat out, that I like her, but she parties...all tha time.  This can be a dilemma for some guys and girls down her in Miami.  Cuz I've never seen so many people party it up and then come into work like 2 hours later, sometimes folks walk in with exact same clothes they had on when they worked tha day before.  I've seen that on numerous occasions.  I told my confidant, this girl is sexy, everything about us is mad cool, she had tha rare combination of upscale-ghetto-beautiful-exotic with a touch of hip hop.  I told her, that I like to have fun, and go out, and myself am a "life of tha party" person, but she's a...Professional Partier.  Club to club...everything.  But I liked her...a lot.  After explaining my case to her, she told me how just because a girl likes to go out...a lot...doesn't mean she isn't a good catch or a "nice" girl.  She told me how a girl like that may just like to dance, or may have a touch home life and just wants to get out.  A beautiful female always wants to go out...always.  (That's from me!)  But she really altered my outlook, cuz as a kid growing up, a lot of guys can associate...

As a kid growing up, a lot of guys can associate a girl who parties all that time, as someone who isn't someone u wanna settle down with. "Always on tha scene" is how tha old heads would describe her. Even Jay-Z said it in this autobiographical song of my life.  And living down here in Miami, u find a lot of girls who can be found on boats and yachts during tha day, and in all tha hottest spots by night.  So just how she began to spit tha ka-now-ledge to us, it opened it up to sometimes it's not what a person does, but who tha person is.  I should stop right there.  For real  C Lee I luv u girl for ur honesty!  Luv u homegirl!

It's still early on this Saturday, and I'm feeling good so let's continue on what some of tha sexiest women have told me about the female sect.

In tha crates of this diary, there's a post about this one girl.  I wrote about her, some time ago, and u'll have to dig to get tha story.  She was...right. Cinnamon tan skin, jet black hair, her style of dress was modern in a very crazy way.  Mad cool with a laissez faire attitude, born in a small South American country, I could see it.  The even wilder thang was that I knew her mother.  And her moms was very cool...and a flat out natural beauty herself.  I still remember seeing her, tha Moms, walking around in this like super revealing outfit as she was about to go to tha gym to work out.  Just tha sight of her, man...she almost made me drop to tha ground and give her 50!  That's push-ups, not dineros don't get it twisted!  But she was always, always kind and nice to us.

Both of us got to talking about women, and girls.  I even flat out told her, after her daughter was 'taken' how I had a "thang" for her.  I told her.  And the funny thing, was after I told her that, our conversations began to get even better.  So we were talking this one particular evening or day, and she began to tell us about dating here in Miami.  Now, once again, let me set up tha scene, this is a convo from a mad cool woman, who had a daughter I wanted to get with, and if tha night was right, and if she wore them Tory Burch kicks and if tha Apple Sparkler was chilled just right, I woulda got with her herself!!  Forget tha daughter!  (I'm getting myself in trouble right!)

So out of nowhere in our conversation, she began to tell us how Miami girls are nothing but trouble.  How they are all about drama.  She told of the conversations with her daughter and her friends, and how it's 24/7 drama.  I was kind of in shock.  I told her, I think I did, about how I like...I'm getting personal here...But how sometimes I like a girl who wasn't born in this country because they have fun in a different way than American girls.  Not a pre-requisite or anything, cuz u never know who God chooses, but in a lot of ways its true.  And tha Mamacita was getting at all tha material drama, tha hating on from one girl to tha next.  I strongly believe in dating tha person, but sometimes friends can ruin relationships and friendships to tha point where it just ain't worth it.  Who wants to date somebody where u go on tha town for a night, and tha girl u out with tells her friends ALL tha details, and next thing u know it tha friend are on Facebook or Instagram talking crazy, and watching ur every move.  "I saw Austin with such and such today."  Homegirl, she was ahead of me at Pollo Tropical and I was just talking to her. (Wink!)  But for real, I don't date crews.

I learned from her about how some girls, even the ones u want, just want drama.  It's ok to keep it interesting, but to just stir tha pot for attention...Naw bro.  So many others, like this really beautuful woman, who told me about how her man treated her.  Travelling, and making sure she's happy.  Even travelling from the west coast of Florida to Miami every weekend to party during tha hot years in South Beach.  That's what I call cash.  But what this sexy dame also told me about this guy, was that money can't buy u love.  She had the ultimate, and I mean ULTIMATE lifestyle, but she's no longer with tha guy.  Lesson told to me by this beauty...U can spend all tha Dollars, Francs, and Euros u want on a woman, but no matter how much u have...sooner or later, she's wants real attention.  And more than tha material things.  What's tha use of having a penthouse on Brickell Key, if u're never home to share it with ur baby girl?  The Life looks good in tha beginning, but if tha attention ain't given, and love ain't being transferred into an "action" word, mark my words, a real beauty ain't gonna keep on taking it.  Or if she is, believe u me, she's playing u, and getting tha attention she really craves...on tha side.  Like an order of Sweet 'n' Sour sauce...

Another woman told me how if u wanna know how a girl feels about you, u should get around her and see how she reacts when ur around.  Like if she gets nervous and stuff...this happened to me yesterday, when I was around this beauty that seemed to be rambling like Loyola.  I think she may want to...I know that I would like to...save that for another night.  Anyways, this same woman told me how, "The good girls are tough to get."  Which was involving a situation where I didn't know how much harder a guy would have to put in.  She told me those are tha ones u want (Sometimes.), and how u should let time dicate true love.  Good stuff, cuz I used to get into that NCAA Tournament "One and done" thought process.  Meaning, if u wanna do something or whatever, u get one chance, if u turn me down, I WON'T ask u again. There's only been an left handful of those I've asked more than once. I've changed...sort of.  But believe u me, I still have that  "I'm a comet" attitude.  U better catch us when u can cuz tha opportunity more than likely won't come again just because of our ego, and simply because there's somebody us who will say "yes".

I didn't even talk about tha girl in tha first paragraphs and our interaction.  We're gonna let that pass and let this post be about what fine women have told us about girls and other women.  So when u read throughout our diary, this ain't just us talking.  It's lessons, that for some reason have been embedded in our hearts and souls.

There's a saying that my Uncle and one of my guys once said:

"I am what I am, because what women have made me." 

Tonight is evidence of how people can help mold you, and perhaps how people who have been through this crazy thing call love, perhaps see what ur life is gonna be afar off, and are willing to help u deal with it.  Maybe these women saw that I would have a "most interesting man in tha Galaxy" lifestyle filled with a lot of decisions in regards to females.  And they wanted to chip in with a little wisdom.  Thus, what I learned, I want to share.

Now u know why I feel like I do.  I'm a by-product.  And I just wanted to share tha truth.  And hopefully as u read this, u can breathe and exhale about hearing and reading about not what's going on, but what's really going on in dating and relationships.  I wish I had a tell-all diary when I was a kid.  Maybe this is what this is all about.  And if so, u can sum it up in one word...which if put together the first letter of the first seven paragraphs.  I think u'll agree, that one word sums up how I feel about the upcoming moments and people in our life.  After it all, I can now take a breath and simply say...

-------.

A. Galaxy.

The Birth of Gold.

Here we go...

I'm gonna tear some sleep up on tonight! I mean tear it up bro!  Its such a thin line between going hard and getting ur proper rest ain't it?  Like when do u party hearty and when do you like pass out on ur bed for a while...just face down u know.  But before we do, I guess we should write a few nuggets.  

We've been writing for a long time, and have kept an online diary for what, going on 2 years now, and for as long as I've known myself (Ha!), we've been trying to figure out what and who we really are.  I'm reading this autobiography on one of the best basketball players of all-time Jerry West (West By West, My Charmed, Tormented Life), heck of an title, I know.  But as I was reading on this particular page I came upon this word that rightfully or wrongfully my sum up who we are or aren't as a person.  Anyway, it stopped me in my tracks like a slow cruise down Ocean Drive, and it hit me like, "Dude, this may sum u up."  The word that popped out like...I can't say that...but what jumped out at me, was the word...

Elitest.

I cringed a little bit because I know what that can signify.  But I had  to look tha word up.  After further research, I went to the real source of definitions, Urban Dictionary dot com, and they had this to say.  Now, tonight can get personal, but as we say a million plus times, this is a guy's diary.  It just happens to be for the Galaxy to see.  So what we are gonna be writing here, we'd be writing if it was just us in our notebook.  Ok, that's out of tha way, so let's discuss...

Is this tha attitude that u need to be successful?  Like do u have to have that edge to you that "U're tha best?"  or "Ur tha hottest" just to get by?  I think in some ways...Yes.  But...Ah, there's a but.  I don't think you should let that attitude negatively affect others.  That's when ego and this thought of perfection can down work against you, but...

What I'm learning is that nowadays, maybe its just me, but people don't compliment or how about encourage other people like they once did.  Seems like back in tha day, folks u didn't even know used to be quick to drop a "U look nice 2day" or a "Keep working it's gonna work out".  Its tough to find that kind of talk in today's day and time.  I think for one, everybody is really zeroed in on taking care of themselves.  And two, I think there's a sense of jealousy in some circles.  Or intimidated in some ways.  U can stop reading if u don't want our heart tonight, cuz I'm gonna call it like we see it.  What happened to those days where teachers were more concerned about a soul, than a paycheck?  What happened to those days in tha workplace where people were genuinely concerned about seeing you make it, possibly even further than they are at that time.  Like ur success was their success.  Now u may start a job, and people don't wanna give u all the in's and out's of a gig, just because they don't wanna  lose their job themselves.  All this "I'm gonna tell you everything you know, but u don't know everything I know" attitude, I think has to stop.  I'm a victim...I'm also a culprit as well...Oh, have I ever been.

I'm still a secretive kind of guy.  Flat out.  It may be of some surprise to hear that considering our "cartoon" personality and all that we discuss in this diary.  But I like our privacy, especially about our love life, don't giggle, and just personal stuff, that I think eventually everybody will find out about sooner or later.  Over tha last few years though, we have opened up....a lot.  And I think that...how can I put this...When u don't get what or who you want, over an extended period of time, that sense of not getting over tha hump forces you to look deep within.  And it also forces you to realize that you are going through tha fire for a reason, and that tha lessons u've learned, must be used to help others as well.  

We are asked a lot about love.  Like different situations and stuff.  Somehow and someway, it's like we have a story or a girl that can give a clear illustration of lessons learned.  That's just an example, but in many stages of life, we've been through.  That's why we say, cherish tha lessons and all tha pain, cuz u never know when that can be a motivator for not only you, but someone else.  We all need encouragement  even me myself.  Which goes back to this Elitest thang...

To us, tha mid-level exception of being or having an Elitest attitude is self-motivating yourself...I heard a quote the other day from a sports reporter...

"The great path...has no path."

That's a powerful six words.  Cuz to us, that indicates that what makes a path or road to success so great, is that there isn't no blueprint for it.  That's tha allure of it, that nobody has traveled this route before, but its also the most difficult because since no one, or not too many have traveled like this, u REALLY have to look within and develop an attitude inside of you...and sometimes u have to do it by yourself.  

When ur on this path, u look around and nobody's there.  You can have family and friends, but do they really know how it feels.  I'm gonna let it all hang 2night, it may be too deep, but whatever..How can somebody tell you how to get an "A" in class when they've gotten nothing but "F's" in class?  And had to cheat for that...What about having to go days, having to sacrifice and freakin' ration out meals, and cans of baked beans just so u can make it, unless u've done that, u don't know how it feels.  I got a personal situation, right now, I'm experiencing.  Something that me and tha Great Editor in Tha Sky have been having an..."out" about.  This is really...really personal, but...it may be tha last time...I don't know....

Our stories about love and relationships...they are flat out crazy.  Just on today I thought about a girl or another wild episode with us liking somebody, and having another person know about our feelings, and whatever.  I've been a romantic kind of person, our entire life.  As a kid, listened to love songs religiously, got giddy whenever somebody approached another girl, to test tha waters.  Love, sexually and emotionally is just a trait, that has been embetted into our souls.  That's who we are, and who we'll always be.

But over tha last few years...something stranged happened.  Even though I'm like showered with adoration from tha most beautiful women in tha Galaxy...it's like God has shut every door on me, in terms of developing a long term relationship.  I would get to know this girl...Ooops, she's leaving tha country...Supposed to hang out with this gal for a special trip...Ooops, a family member dies...Get to know this girl...Oh, she forgot to tell u she had a boyfriend....I've never seen anything like it.  EVER.  This ain't just one or two strange occurrences, I can honestly say that it has just been weird bro.  

I'm writing this cuz I'm right at where I wanna be, so I can talk...now.

When things in ur life, constantly happen in ways you can't explain, u question...well, u question everything.  Its no use in being real with people...It's no use in being nice...It's no use in looking good cuz folks get scared when u look too good...I like u when u're in Ralph Lauren Polo...Now that ur rocking tha Ralph Lauren Black Label, I don't know if I like you now....These thoughts of What that (Fill in Tha Blank) constantly filled our head.  We already had a mini-Elitest mindset of thinking that we can do whatever and whoever we want.  So to constantly hear tha word "no", well, people really didn't tell us that, there was just nothing.  No closures.  Until we closed them.  So I was kind of mad at God.  

Then of course, whenever u get upset at life or whatever, another test or monkey wrench, gets thrown into our tool box.  This came in the form of my friends, whom I love, and appreciate of, cuz of their supports or jokes or unknowingly living testimony.  But the test, or slap in tha face, was that now, even they were finding their love of their lives.  All of them...then as time goes by, they start to have families.  All the while, I still have to go through step after step...after step...after Bobby Brown step, just to figure out why something so available, has been bolted shut.  

That's not easy, and somebody knows what I'm talking about.

So now, even though u are happy for ur friends and fellow family, u wonder, why am I going through so much?  It don't make no sense.  And then u begin to think about waving off from that semi-Elitest confidence.  Ur like, I just saw this guy with a girl walking down tha street, so why I am working so hard to get a six-pack of abs, or dressing to tha 10's when it doesn't take all that...Or why should I wash my car, when this hot girl in a super dirty car got out with this dude....The temptation to lower tha standards that u once set, begin to question...

What's Tha Use?

If u can put in less work, and get tha same re...Why put in 20 resumes, and waste 3 hours of a Sunday, when u can put out 2 resumes, get tha same results of rejection, but at least u will be able to chill on tha sands at tha beach.  C'mon, I know I'm not tha only one, then maybe I am the only one who's felt like this?  See its very easy to hold on to virtues or standards when everythings going your way.  U got a big income tax check return...God is Good.  That boy u've been checking out, asked u out finally..."Being patient pays off"...

But tha test is how do u react, when u do what u feel is right, and u continue to get bad results, or at least not tha results u want.  Especially if u feel that ur...close.

So even now, I've had some interesting moments.  Looking at my dudes, and wondering "When are we gonna get ours?"  Not just love, but life in general.  "You can't tell me it takes all this right?"  I'm working like crazy to get this?  When seemingly others are working less...but they get that.

Yet...guess what happens though, unknowingly.  When things don't go tha way u want them....When people don't love u tha way u want them...When money comes easy, but leaves easier...A new person develops.  It's like u have to go through that molding process, before u can turn into gold.  U have to go through it...So what A. Galaxia do you learn...Well, how much time do we have?

I've learned that everybody has their own path to success.  I've learned that motivation comes in tha strangest places.  U'll be flipped out how...when u're successful in some areas, u look for motivation in a bevy of ways.  (That's tha first time I've used bevy without following it with "of babes"!)  U can get burned out, but things that happened 10 years ago can be motivating...Tha thoughts of "Will You Be Ready?" when tha time hits can be a motivation..."Joe Blow got a wife before me, how's that fair, he's not better than me?", that can be a motivation...This one person u don't even know is watching from afar, that can be a motivation...Heck, this week, I've used a girl to motivate me.  She doesn't even know it yet, but just tha thought that I'm gonna be with her, whether it will happen or not, (I believe it will.) is a motivation.  Real talk, folks.  I've been blessed beyond words, and when u've been and experienced, and quite frankly have or had a lot, u need to trick your mind sometimes to keep going.  To keep pushing urself...even if it is a mirage of sorts.  

Which is why all this drama was designed in tha first place.  To take us to tha next level.  Now I know how to appreciate having money, and not just spend lavishly but now wisely...Now I can appreciate tha true beauty of a girl, and not get over enthoughed over her looks or be concerned if she has washboard abs (Pre-requisite of 2000) or if she is a tan blonde beach girl (Pre-requisite of 2007) or if she's tall or a big booty or pretty toes or speaks Spanish, all those things that artifically can make someone attractive.  Now I look for subtle things, how she talks, is she willing to help others, when u talk to her does she continue to run her mouth or does she pause and patiently hear what u have to say, these are things that as time passes....last for a lifetime.  Not just in love relationships, but also friendships.  As we said before...

"Sometimes u set tha standard...Sometimes tha standard sets itself."

This is tha by-product of what u go through.  U can either soak and get some Boone's Farm, cut of tha lights, and not shower for a week, or u can say, "U know what...u messed up." And use it as fuel to a fire, that can't ever be quenched.  That's tha goal in tha first place.  For u 2 go to a level never done before and for u to be turned into something bigger than even u can't imagine.  

Its like driving in Miami traffic.  When u first begin to drive, or when u first move down here, u just wonder what is going through people's minds dude.  Somebody cuts you off, and u snap, perhaps cuss somebody out (At least in ur mind), or yell out tha window.  But over time, as u continue...Man, this is some good stuff tonight...over time, as u continue to experience tha craziness, you begin to get used to tha conditions and tha things that used to get you all riled up, doesn't even bat ur eye anymore.  And tha only way to do that is to get on tha road...I.E...U gotta get out and live ur life.  The only way to get over ur deepest fear is to face it head on.  

I don't really have any deep fears, but as this is ultra-personal, I think the only thing that I "think" upon, is that I'm never gonna be as big as a "superstar" in some way or another as tha route I've taken or more or less be thrown on has dictated.  When u've been prepared though, and have gone through, and have come out better going out, than when u went in...What shall u fear? Who shall u fear right?  U know when ur time comes its gonna be something never seen before.  And as I'm at that point right now, u know it's gonna be special.  For others who may read this that feel this post.  Stay confident and relish in tha fact that u have had tha chance to sit back and learn from others success or possible mistakes.  U've taken tha toughest hits and heartbreaks...yet have survived.  U didn't think u could, but look at u now.  I know I shoulda gave up, and thrown myself out of a moving car, many moons ago.  But if I can withhold and survive, so can you.  And u'll find out that, that job or person or group of friends that gave up on you, now want to be like you, or even want to get back with you.  Life's amazing ain't it!

Tonight doesn't get any more real than this.  Nothing to be embarrassed about cuz its our heart and tha truth from our soul.  The best is yet to come.  And 2nite is the continuation of something new, something special, something that can last over tha tests of time.  Huh.  "I'm ready" is what I said years ago...Heck even just last month...  But only after u go through tha trials, nights alone and learn to use those episodes as ur friend can you say...

"I'm so freakin' ready."

And believe u me...

There's a big difference.

Toodles and Love.

Austino.

Keeps Going...And Going...And Going....

"I can't be nobody but me."

That was the song bellowing from a gentleman's mouth as I was in the laundromat this morning.  On the TV inside of tha joint, they had some animal show on...a Spanish channel of all places, and as they were showing these giraffes and Dumbo's getting their freak on. (I wonder do they do "it" twice on Sunday as well? Huh.)  But as they were showing these animals, they had that song blasting in tha background.  I can't even find it on tha net, it sounded like some 1940's swing era type of singing, but this guy was sitting on the ledge next to tha window.  I was throwing my socks and undies into the washer, when I thought to myself, "Do I hear somebody humming this song?  Like, I know nobody's humming this song right now."  Next thing I know it, this guy to my right, just couldn't hold himself back anymore, and he just started to black belting out like Kung Fu Joe, singing like Frank Sinatra at the Sahara Hotel!  I just started laughing, as he began to sing.  He sung like he literally wanted to go into the second verse of the song.  But I had to go to Publix grocery store to get me some sliced almonds, so I just shook his hand...all with a smile.

I thought about taking like a few weeks off from writing.  I know, I know you are probably saying, "Austin, u say that like every rip, how ur retiring and stuff."  We were for real, right now.  Plus, we are writing so much from our heart, and we are doing so many things in terms of hanging out and going and doing different things that sometimes just finding tha time to jot is difficult.  So as we say, we all just have to cherish each line that's written, because, in some ways...it might be our last.  For real.  But until then...

Dude.  I had a hard time remembering our own phone number on today.  I'm alive serious, I actually didn't remember my telephone number.  Not sure if it was the hour lost on today or what.  Guess when u lose an hour, u just lose and forget everything.  I was at a vintage store today, and this guy just yelled, "OH MY GOD!  JESUS CHRIST!"  Just out of tha clear blue sky.  Once again, I began to laugh, and I turned around, and he was laughing as well.  He began, with a smile, to talk about losing an hour of sleep.  Why do we switch times up and down anyway.  Ha Ha!!  Check this out....instead of us going back and forth , of switicing up and down the time countdown.  Has anybody considered going like left to right or right to left with the time change.  Like, us here in Miami be on London time, and Los Angeles be on Central time for half tha year, and then keep rotating every six months!  That'll be interesting...If I ruled the world right...

I've been watching these interviews with the Lakers as of late.  They are now in playoff contention which is wild...But it's been amazing how much they've talked about their energy level.  And how part of the reason they've been so energized has been do to their change in the diet they eat.  I'm a firm believer that we should look at food not as purly things u just throw in ur mouth.  But look at what u eat, as in how much energy is this gonna give me throughout tha day.  I know we all sometimes feel boggled down, but a lot of that may have to do with not only rest, but also what are we putting into our bodies.  We talk about looking at our bodies as a car, and if u want regular results, you put in regular gas.  Mid-octane...so forth.  Premium gasoline is gonna give u premium results.  People think its hard to eat...differently or healthy.  I can be a tad more expensive, but dude it makes a difference.  I mean, like u can go to Target, and get tha whole wheat pasta for tha same price or like a dime more than the regular one.  That dime can be the difference between feeling energized and not...And...U know what.  I didn't know what to write about today.  And this is my diary, and of course, I tell stupid stories constantly throughout.  So let's dive into our lure to I guess embarrass ourself...Here we go.

We have been blessed in many level to be in really decent shape, and eat certain things, and work out in one of tha coolest gyms in the country.  With us being an athlete since like...well, in tha generation I grew up in, we always were playing sports and were active playing outside, boys and girls alike, so we did things to stay in shape, without doing things focusing on staying in shape.  I.E., when was tha last time u saw somebody "double dutching" on tha sidewalk?  Or hop scotching?  Dancing in front of the TV trying to get new dance moves were tha norm for me, I didn't need Wii or mat, we just turned it to BET or MTV, hit tha volume button on tha TV (That's old school!) and got loose.  Janet Jackson was always like the ultimate dance routine to learn.  Her "If" video is classic, of course.  But recently I LOVE the routine in her "Rock With U" video from 2008.  Just stealing moves for when u hit tha town, u know.  Don't do tha whole routine, that's kind of weirdo, u dig!  I'm serious...I also, like that dance step in Brandy and Kayne's "Talk About Our Love" video.  It took me awhile to get that fake clap-step-real clap-step down.  Check it out at that 2:04 mark.  But just enjoying life and being active, man.  I think tha youngsters don't do that, and it's effecting or affecting (?) them big time.  And tha grown folks as well...

I used to really, really, REALLY slam in terms of food.  Ask my fam.  Many times my Moms and Pops would be going out, and I would be getting it in.  They used to have this place in my hometown of Michigan City, IN, called Hot 'N Now.  (MC fam, u remember that joker!)  They had tha best, I mean best chicken sandwiches.  Dude, u could get a premium chicken sandwich for like a buck fitty.  Now Mickey D's charging  like $5 just for tha sandwich, at least here in South Beach they do.  Anyways, for a sam-mich that has lettuce, mayo, and these inch thick tomatoes, a brotha would tell Moms, I'll have three of them.  And...would get some large fries to go with.  That was just routine folks.  We gonna run down some of our routine "runs" cuz folks don't believe us...

At Burger King...we would hit up them BK King, which was like a rich man's Big Mac, I guess.  Ah, gimmie ah...two of them.  Chicken Tender sandwiches, that were on tha original dollar menu at BK.  Eat three of them, with a medium fry.  I was good for $4. 29.  Then if they had them footlong chicken sandwiches on sale, like those Italian or American or Spanish versions on sale....Yep, a brotha would get them too.

Arby's.  Of course, everybody in tha 'hood could wait for that 5 for $5 special to go on.  When that hit, we would go, run them out of business.  I would eat about 3 roast beef sandwiches, with Arby sauce, son.  Then if it was like say March.  We would get some fries...Ooops, I'm sorry.   (Cough, Cough!)  We'll would get some curly fries...And then on our way home still stop by McDonald's to get a Shamrock Shake.

In High School, my whole life, or at least the portion I wasn't yelling at people passing in tha hallway or when I wasn't reading Vibe magazine during math and science classes, besides that my life was revolved around...Little Caesars Pizza.  I mean.  As a pregame meal before our JV and/or Varsity basketball games, I would stop right after school, and get me an order of Crazy Bread with crazy sauce.  Sometimes my dude, "Luke" or Big Ryan would be in there and would hook me up.  (I shouldn't be saying this should eye?!)  But that was always nice, go home...Get me a cup of Orange Juice and would dig in.  I would sometimes get heated, cuz if it was a big game, and they shorted me.  Meaning, u know, they supposed to give u 8 pieces of sticks of tha same nature, but instead give u six good ones and like two bad ones. I know some girls, and in particular this one tan stallion who would argue about if "it's the size of the ship or the motion of tha ocean that matters", but when u got a tough game against like our arch rivals Laporte or East Chicago or South Bend Clay...believe u me...Size matters.  I would take a gulp of juice...Eat four breadsticks.  Take another gulp...Eat the other four...Then finish up the last gulp.  Then put on some music, maybe Prince or something and go to sleep for a pre-game nap.  After tha game, me and my brother, who hooped too, would then use this particular phone, right outside the locker room, to call in our order.  He would get a sandwich sub perhaps...I would always get that "Cheeser, Cheeser" pizza.  Which had extra cheese, and ur choice of two toppings.  Usually it was Pepperoni and Sausage.  This was AFTER tha game, mind you.  Oh, and I would get another order of breadsticks, just for old times sake.  I'm telling you, our eating habits were serious!

Mickey D's.  I'm just gonna...I think McDonald's was different when I was a kid, and in High School, beep, even in college.  As a toddler, that was tha place to have ur birthday party.  I never had one there, but I frequented enough to know that this was like a baby's version of going to LIV after the Heat win a championship!  I mean, they would bring out that special paper place mat to tha table.  With some colored pencils and stuff.  Just like a club dude!  U'll have some folks who were too young to partake, but somehow got past security with a fake ID saying they were born in McDonaldland, and they resided on Sesame Street and junk!   Usually these kids would get that wooden high chair, cuz they weren't ready to sit with the real party heads.  Get those cone caps to sit on ur head and nobody could tell you nothing!  (I still like the Burger King paper crowns better but...just like the club, u enjoy tha night, knowing that next week u gonna be partying, and living it up somewhere else!...Are we on our "A" game today or what!)

But getting those Happy Meals, and scooting cars, and small toys..."Look Mommie...it's Grimace!"  I tell ya boy, them were tha days.  But getting back to tha food.  Eating two Hot Cakes meals for breakfast.  Sausage Biscuits...My Pops, and I gotta tell this, cuz we know...My Pops would go to Mickey D's like right before they stop selling breakfast, which back in tha day was like 10am.  He would go to tha spot on Franklin Street, and order some Sausage Biscuits, and then my Pops...(I'm laughing as I write this)....My Pops would then ask them as the time turned 9:59am, "What are y'all gonna do with them leftover biscuits?!"  And they would either give him some extra ones, or give them as a wholesale price of 50 cent.  It was crazy!   This went on for like, weeks dude.  But my favorites were chicken nuggets with tha apple BBQ sauce (That's from tha 80's) or Sweet and Sour.  McChicken...Egg Nog shakes...Big Mac's when they were on sale for 2 for $2.  Daily Double meals (DD Burger and medium fries for $1.99...I used to skip out of school on lunch time for these....I mean, really...How did I ever graduate high school?!!)  Lots of classice...M&M McFlurry were slamming when they first came out.  And I love Hi-C Orange from Mickey D's...That best.

So much.  Other notables include...Rally's (Or Checkers in tha South).  I would get them Big Buford's...2 for $1 Tacos...Xtra Large french fries in a humongous red cone cup (Sorry, they got tha best fast food fries, I'm sorry!)  Them Spicy Chicken's were a staple when they first came out...Their Chili...I knew some folks who worked in there too.  "U gotta eat, this is such and such."  After u heard who was on tha ones and twos, u almost was ordering for tha next two weeks.  I would put in that special order, "Let me get one Rallyburger with no meat, one Diet Pepsi with just Ice, and one fry ('What size do u want that?')...no, fool, I just want ONE fry!"  When they heard that order, they knew to hook it up like bootleg cable on tha westside...Good times.

In college...Taco Bell.  They should have named the Chulupa after me, for real.  It was ridiculous.  Matter of fact, for my next test...I mean, date....I mean, whatever...I should have a girl try to cook me a Chalupa, and see if she can cook it to my specific specifications.  (Is that literally legal what we just wrote?)  But I would get 2 beef Baja Chalupas...2 Chicken Baja Chalupas...and like 2 Chicken Soft Tacos, just to keep it under $10.  I used to eat it wit tha..."sauce."  Hey, they were just rumors right, just rumors...I mean, if u date me now, that's one place u don't have to worry about me taken you, cuz I don't want no cook in tha back, taking a look at how fine  my lady friend is, and then getting all "Jack In tha Box" happy, all over my Chalupa!  I know somebody be thinking along these same lines as well, let's be real!  That's why now I say "no sauce" bro.  I used to slam, and then would still get some Crazy Bread on tha side from Mr. "Pizza Pizza".. across town.

The only other place that really had me hooked was...KFC.  Them 3-piece meals.  I would have one EVERY Sunday.  Drive across town to the one that sold macaroni salad.  Get that three-piece meal, with honey and grape jelly.  Hit them up with macaroni salad and baked beans.  And would tell them to hook me up with 2 more extra biscuits on tha side.  I would take that bad boy back to tha spot.  Sit down in my dorm room.  Get out that spork...What tha heck is a spork anyway!  Get that Tony Macaroni and Baked Beans out...Mixed them up together.  And as my Pops would say, I would put my toes, in my nose, and have a stankin' good time!!  Then in tha mid-2000's, that sounds weird to say, but when they brought out those twisters.  What!!!  I think they put something in tha sause, it was like a pepper sauce or something, but I was feenin' for them thangs like a reality star feens for an interview with VH-1.  It was on...There was this one...here I am talking about our past "gals", but...

There where I worked in Indiana, there was this gas station nearby.  And it was this woman, who was older than us, I thought she had her days to be honest, to me she was like a slept on beauty (I seem to like that type) with her long black hair and Sex and The City  curves, and how she wore that apron.  Boy...I woulda...She had Demi Moore potential for real... My boss just called her, "Tha Chicken Lady"!  OMG!!  That's funny!  But she would make a poor man's version of that KFC twister.  From tha gas station, which up north is tha spot to go to get ur lunch and dinner.  It was good some days, but that KFC was off the hook.  Then KFC brought out them, what was the name of those small sandwiches...oh yeah...tha Snackers.  For 99 cents, I know people were breaking them off White Castle style. I still go there, just get their grilled chicken.  If this wasn't Calle Ocho, I'll be over there in Little Havana right now, getting that 7 piece dark meat "Calle Ocho" special.

Don't know why I wrote all that, but I guess just to say, now that we don't eat all that stuff, as consistently as we once did, we feel less bloated, and have more energized.  U can exercise til ur blue and black or purple, but if u don't eat tha right things before, and afterwards then u ain't gonna see and more importantly feel tha results.  Do I cheat...very rarely.  But I may have a slither of pie or cake.  Same with a drink or two, just because life is to be lived.  Tha thing is now, that I haven't had some things in so long, that I get sick from just a small taste of some of those foods.  Especially if they are fried, my heart just beat weird, and I feel like I get a small pain in my chest, cuz it ain't used to it.  Same thing if I eat high sodium or salt foods.  I feel it, literally in my blood.

Now I'm not saying this to be like pointing tha finger or in a holier than thou way.  Just so that we ALL, me included, can watch our habits.  Down here in Miami, it's basically "beach season" where everybody wants to look good for tha sands.  Its a lifestyle, not just a hit it and quit it thang.  U go to tha gym or athletic club on a Friday night or Saturday night, and sometimes u get tha feeling from conversations and stuff, that people are just there to get pseudo-buff before they hit up tha party.  That's fake.  And girls know it too.  That's just like girls getting some masking or duct tape to tape their breasts together to make their boobs look bigger.  Sooner or later it'll all come out...and off.  If u want tha muscles, put in tha hard work.  If ur worried about ur ta-ta's, just be happy with what u got, cuz I promise u this, I know and have seen...I can't get into that.  I've seen some sexy girls with small busts, and with how they take care of their bodies, and including their personalities, they are some of the sexiest gals I've ever known.  That's all Buck Showalter aside.   Here's a secret to getting a truly hot guy who are the total package in terms of goals, how they treat girls and other people, ambitions, and looks...That's what I define as hot...

Hot guys like hot girls who know they are hot but don't brag about it....and who has the coolness of a homeboy yet the sensuality of a princess...and who know how to work what that naturally have inside and out.

I may be speaking for me, but guys who have been around "top shelf" all their life, tend to be attracted to those three characteristics.   And that can come in various shapes and colors.  Believe that!

That's it.  Lakers-Bulls in like half an hour.  Heat-Pacers later tonight.  Should be some good games.

Love and have fun.
Bye.
Austino Galaxia Period

(Also, check out the newest "The Spotlight Hits..." on tha top of the grey bar on the right side of this post.  The newest spotlight hits one of our favorite groups....112.  Hope u got ur dancing shoes on!  Enjoy!)

Tha Climb.

Oh boy....(Huge Blow!) Today was a very interesting day.  I guess as of late I've felt like...I don't know.  Some of the old schoolers used to say that last mile is the toughest.  When u're climbing that mountain, and feel and see where u wanna be, and what u've dreamed about, that's when sometimes u feel the pressure of all that u've been through.  U're right there, but yet u feel like it's almost still so far away.

I really don't wanna do this, but, once again, seemingly there's a need for this.  So here we go...

A Wednesday afternoon post, huh,
The rarest of its kind.
Usually I'm out and about on the Beach,
But instead we're purifying our mind.

What can I say, for real,
That hasn't already be said or done.
Talked about so much,
Too Much as in our last post,
And all in tha name of fun.

I really am feeling different nowadays,
Perhaps that's because we're close.
So I guess, I should just sit back, and let tha fingers talk,
And let's all enjoy this poetic overdose.

April 26th, 2011, oh yes,
This is a date that is made for tha history books.
For on this date, who can remember,
We decided to give our life a strong literary look.

See, as we've said before our life has been crazy,
And we kept a diary for 10 years strong.
But after sleeping with days, and wrestling with nights,
A idea hit us in tha head...
Like "Ding Dong"!

U see tha TV, read all the bios,
Yet nothing as been done like this.
Its always great to tell your story after tha fact,
But what about when u're face to face with life's fists.

Never in our wildest dreams could I imagine,
What such revelation of our life would bring.
I just wanted to share some wild stories,
While hide some hidden songs that'll make you sing.

So today we're gonna just chat a little,
As always u'll get nothing but our best.
But before we get to tha good stuff,
I gotta talk about our final test.

How much are u willing to go,
To get exactly what you want.
C'mon, let's be honest people,
I know u think about it too,
Please don't even front.

Are you willing to give and sacrifice a year,
Just so that u get that gift that u can't wait.
Are you willing to wait 20 years,
Just so u can get that perfect first date.

Come on fingers, I need to get loose today,
This is when we show what we got.
I'm tired of being a bystander so to speak,
My soul is feeling like a boiling stove pot.

U know, when tha heat gets a little warm,
And the bubbles start to overflow.
This poem is gonna be written super gangsta,
Like a biscuit when it was first just tha dough.

To be what u wanna be,
That's when u gotta dig down ever so deep.
Life can fool you, and it can seem so easy,
But believe u me, this ain't no easy feat.

I've questioned myself, even on today,
What have I really become?
Can our fire, over consume us,
Like a Del Monte overcook plum?

Just so anxious nowadays,
I feel like week one before tha Super Bowl.
Life is going to slow, I got plans to fulfill,
Now I wanna just speed through every single Sun Toll.

Yet, when u've been waiting for that moment,
The one u really been dreaming about.
And it comes on you, and u feel in the air,
U don't wanna hear tha sermon,
U just wanna get to tha shout.

The route in our life, has been crazy,
I still don't believe I'm in the Sunshine State.
We look at our address, read our license plate,
Then we realize we owe it all to...fate.

It's like the trials in our lives, are for a reason,
Sometimes unexplained, but soon they will be.
They are super necessary for our success,
I mean what are the Red Hot Chili Peppers,
Without that little critter...named Flea.

This may be our last poem,
So might as well keep it real as a joke.
No time for kidding around,
This about how to separate the egg from the yoke.

I think about how many times I've been told "No",
And I wonder if that word I actually despise.
When I hear that, do I just become a conceited pest,
Just like those Washington Park beach flies.

I gotta grow up, I guess,
So used to Geoffrey being my backwards model role.
U know that Toys "R" Us giraffe,
Just seeing those commercials touched my soul.

Being young, is the ultra hip thing, I suppose,
I see it everyday living in tha M.I.A.
We never age it looks like it down here,
Everybody acts like its their 21st birthday.

Guess u just look at life sometimes,
And wonder what if I did this instead.
Perhaps I shoulda taken that NBA Finals date,
With that one girl,
Or why did I worry if that piece of cake was grass-fed?

But as u climb to the top, I noticed one thing,
Something they never told me as a baby boy.
The closer you get to your super goal,
The more u feel like an overused toy.

The feeling of being wound and wound,
Over again, sometimes not for ur laugh.
Like somebody else is getting tha top bill for ur effort,
Is this how Warner Brothers treated Ducky Daff?

It's like tha top of the mountain is surrounded,
Not by cops, but by clouds tha blurr your focus see.
Just like the ascension of an airplane,
The blindness of the unknown can take away ur glee.

All the areas you preach about,
You now find urself in the middle of Life's crazy exam.
U write about not looking at women by their body parts,
Yet u sneak a peek at girl's bosom,
I guess I am a man.

Let me just say it hear,
Plain as a paper made by Mead.
If u wanna be tha best, expect the toughest tests,
And more than one tear drop, u will bleed.

I'm not just talking about dating,
That subject we'll get into, as usual, in a bit.
Life is so much more that trying to bag somebody,
More than chasing booty or the measurement of a gal's ---s.

In life, u come to that fork in tha road,
U can either push on, or just spoon back to start.
The choice is yours, nobody else's,
How do u act when the bullseye is on your back,
And u have no darts.

We can blame God, blame our parents,
Sometimes wish we gotten more playing time on the team.
What if things had of went a little differently for real,
What if u never had hand me downs with a loose seam.

I'm talking to myself now,
Cuz I know everybody has had it so easy.
Silver spoons, Mercedes at thirteen,
I now just wish I can afford those new K Weezy's!

That's tha thing, though,
Getting everything u want, sometimes ain't so good.
I probably would have been out of control,
And I think that any man or woman would.

Yet, u don't live in tha past,
And that's what's been eating at us this week.
Nothing's super planned today or tomorrow,
But the next 10 days can turn into the party of a super freak!

Its like being at a party, that jumping at tha time,
Being hit on by Miss USA and she gives u that hair twirl,
But u've heard Miss Universe is coming to tha joint later,
U tell her, 'No, thanx...Sorry, u're not my type,
My prize is the beauty of tha world.'

There's no gurantee though, that she'll like you,
You're basing all ur hope on one chance.
When u have a sexy dame right in front of you,
Ur so focus on tha unseen, that u won't even dance.

As I close, that's what tha problem of success and dreams can bring,
Sometimes tha allure outshines the hype.
If u don't be careful, u'll miss out on something good,
And that dream will just turn into another pipe.

This is personal, so nobody may not be able to relate,
Words may not mean anything, so I shouldn't even try.
Its like somebody going out to eat, knowing I'm on a diet,
Now girls don't even offer me up a simple fry.

From our heart are these words,
I can only speak from what I know.
Get a pen and pad of paper ready,
This is only a one time thing...So here we go.

The closer u get to ur dreams,
The more it seems like forever is tha time.
Like instead of stacking those big face bills,
Tha stack is more like a bag full of dimes.

It can be frustrating, heartbreaking,
Like when can this all end.
I want tha big house, I want that Starbucks conversation,
Why do I gotta be tha last to get a girlfriend?

That's the point u want to get to though,
U want that feeling of I can't go on.
During this point is where u regain that innocence,
Somehow u get more beautiful like Bambi tha fawn.

Only when u reach that level of life,
Can u honestly be ready for the next step.
Others may have gone before you,
But none of them have survived your depth.

U've seen tha Facebook pictures, tha twitter feeds,
Pictures that made u question, "Why not me?"
He got a new ride, just had a baby girl,
I'm still looking for a DVD player for my TV.

No jealousy needed though,
Cuz once again u're on a different route.
Yeah, it seems like u're the only one who believes in it,
That's ok, cuz the proof comes on top of tha pudding of doubt.

Rejection is necessary.  I hate to write that,
Now I know its true.
I can go on and on about past episodes with people,
Now though, I know exactly what to do.

And more important than that,
Please tell me u got ur pen and still your pad.
I'm just a kid, I know, but I've learned a lot from life,
And definitely Pookie...aka my Dad.

Not only u know what to do,
U now know what you want.
It's no more trial and error, trying GQ article tricks,
U need no fear cuz u've practiced through every stunt.

A guy walked out on you, check.
Job didn't answer ur resume, oh well.
Claim its a sink or swim life right,
In order to survive, u first must have fell.

One day, I want this diary to show, it wasn't easy,
He had a lot, but he had to go through.
This guy talked from his heart so hard,
As I read it, I wish time didn't so flew.

To write when u don't want to,
Or when ur embarrassed can be such a chore.
U have things to door, ceilings to stare at,
Man, I wish that sexy girl down the hall would knock once again on my door.

But we all need to know that we're on the path to success,
Or as for me, also tha path of love.
The kind we're u just don't have to work so hard,
Where two bodies fit like a hand in a glove.

One day that may come, but even with that,
First, I got to know u as a friend.
I can do it Miami style, and just go for tha 68 plus one,
But first I gotta know when the storms come,
Will u break or bend?

I'm a handful, I must admit,
Just picture me like a foreign sports ride.
I'm high maintenance I'll admit that,
Not just any type of fuel will push my drive.

It can go fast or slow,
Sometimes it looks better from afar.
I love to talk life, enjoy good music,
And I'm not gonna front I can sometimes dig a Brickell bar.

Not too many are made of this like,
Which is fine, but u know only a few have heard of your name.
People say this one's it, or that's one's the next one,
Yet, u know it's over when u check into tha game.

U pull up and realize ur different,
That life has been ur master craftsmanship.
Everybody else has been painted by paint by number machines,
But the pain u've suffered allowed u to be personalized by a hand dip.

That takes time I know,
And patience is so very few.
I'm learning though its still the best way for success,
No other way I rather do.

This ain't no conceitedness, no way,
It just when u know...u know.
Our ego is planted by our struggle,
The toughest road I've been forced to go.

Now I trying to pull everybody into the fun,
U never know this may be my last time.
No more lines, no more stories,
Just, "I wish he'll write one more time."

Let's all cherish it while its here,
Cuz now, we're at that moment of prep.
When ur mind, body and soul,
Not only thinks, but knows we've taken every step.

That's when it becomes clear as can be,
Like big red letters in the air.
When u feel like let's do this thang,
Like stepping on tha dance floor with no fear.

Have fun people,
Be patient for love,
Live life, sit back and  crack open a nice, cold can of pop...

This poem is tha last of its kind,
I'm no longer writing from the view of tha climb,
Now I'm only writing from the view of tha...Mountaintop.

Too Much.

I'm back.  Alright.  I have no idea what to write about tonight.  How about that for a beginning!  Seemingly there's always something or someone (Wink!) that comes in and out of our life, just about on a daily basis.  Just on today I asked a homegirl about how much it would cost me if I were to hire somebody to follow me around all day with a camera, just so that people can get a real view of what goes on in this MTV lifestyle that we have.  On tonight, we're just a little blank.  Its like I'm being told to write, but I have no idea what about fam.  What should we write about?  Hummm......

Well, usually when we don't know what to write about, somehow, someway something special occurs.  Just like that!  Oh...Shoot!  Tha kid just used four 'S's in a row.  Tell me that ain't epic!  That sentence should be up there with all the classic one liners, like, "Call me Ishmael."  For real...Huh...I got something...

Throughout this diary, and in our life, we are always talking about just enjoying life and having fun.  I mean, living life to tha fullest type of fun.  The type of fun that makes u dance in the middle of a store, or go up 2 that guy u've wanted and just kiss him on tha lips...maybe that's a subliminal message in there (Ladies, do note I am using my free Carmex from the Heat game, thank u very much!).  But just have fun.  Now here in Miami, and more specifically down here in South Beach, aka "Tha Land of The Beautiful People", this month is like the ultimate party month.  U got Calle Ocho, Ultra Music Festival, Miami Music Week, Sony Tennis Tournament, oh, and we do have that little thang called "Spring Break" about to jump off.  Everybody who's everybody is coming to tha 'hood to simple have...Fun.

I wonder where did this feeling hit us?  How did we come to be a person who just depended on living life and having fun?  How...Let's take a journey back through our skeletons...I mean closet, and see if we can figure this thang out.  Heck, I would like to know myself really!  I got a feeling  this is once again gonna be embarrassing and private.  But....I guess that's why I should rite tonight.  So, get a cold cup of hot chocolate, and warm up those ice cubes filled with Vodka shots, cuz this is gonna get interesting.

Here we go....


Money.  Fame.  Girls.  If u're a guy, most likely u have wanted at least two of these things simultaneously.  Perhaps if u're like me, u sometimes....well, all the time until March 3rd, 2013, wanted all three.  Whah?!!  I'm gonna be real as a mug on tonight.  I you wanted to be a star in this life, u figure if u have the fame and money, then the girls will come.  If u have the Girls, then u need some money.  If u want to be shoe laced with Fame, then u hope the Money will come.  If u want the Money, u figure that with it the Fame and Girls will follow.  This isn't just hypotenuse algebra for those who grew up in tha hood.  (Gun shots going off as ur lullaby, instead of 'Rock-a-bye Baby' qualifies u as growing up in tha hood!)  But this is a universal thought for guys everywhere.  At least for me, I gotta be honest I guess, cuz I know somebody out there is like, "Dude, I never thought like that!"  Ok, right...U renting a Ferrari for two hours, and pulling up to the club, stepping out with sunglasses on...Tha Girls.  U doing side jobs, placing paraphernalia in Burger King cups outside on tha block, hoping tha 5-0 don't catch ya...The Money.  U starting a diary in 2011, writing all these real but unbelievable stories about ur li....life...a...and talking abo...bout love and how u want ur own era and live in ur ow...own...ga...laxy.  Well, let's skip that one!  But u get that point.  So this ain't nothing new.

I grew up during like the height of these things.  The late 80s and 90s and even early 2000s, were off tha charts when it came to these three things.  People were spending without a cause.  Hold it.  Gonna get personal...I think I mentioned before about my college days.  Yeah, I was a shopaholic, big time.  Me and my dudes (Coca and C Hagg, What up!) would like shop til we dropped.  People would laugh now, but like on a Friday night we would get dressed up to go that club where everybody hung out, u know Club Best Buy!  See forget going to any other spot and paying like $10 for some kind of Long Island Ice Tea, and then being charged extra for tha ice.  Naw, we put on those Calvin Klein turtle neck, with some Ralph Lauren jeans, sprayed on some Abercrombie and Fitch (Girls how many guys did u date who wore that cologne!) and stepped out in style like we were doing tha thug thizzle!  If u can do that being dressed as some preppy Ivy Leaguers.  Then after that we hit up Borders bookstore, people may laugh, but in small towns these joints used to be jumping!  Guys, Chicks, everybody...I mean, how can u beat being able to pick up the latest from Michael Crichton, get u a latte, listen to an whole album underneath some headphones, and 'interact' with tha pretty nerd who just walked in dressed to the nines.  I mean, it was like Silicon Valley's  answer to The Playboy Mansion!  And u'll probably see some of that as well!  (Nobody got that but me....Moving On!)

So, yeah...I guess we had this side thing too, call "class".  I only heard about it the first, middle and end of the month.  We were on a trimester cycle I guess.  I'm talking way too much here, and I did graduate with a decent G.P.A., mind you...But u know its bad when two things...One, ur outside of tha dorm cooking up hot dogs, and burgers watching other people go to the class that ur "supposed" to be going to.  And then have the nerve to ask them to take notes for you, and borderline offer them a sandwich to take with them.  Then...Two, u know its bad, when u actually get all dressed up, meaning if u live in tha Midwest, u put on some sweats, or if u're a girl, throw on some flannel pants and fit flops (In 50 degree weather mind u!), and go to building.  Now, I would actually be interacting with my dudes, all of us, be chatting away, talking to people we know, messing with girls passing by, as they would with us, be literally, and I'm not joking, be literally 7 feet from the auditorium itself.  Y'ALL AIN'T FEELING ME!  And be so wrapped up in what's going on for the weekend or what's popping on Thursday night which is like college hangout night everywhere, getting ur mouth ready for $5 all-u-can drink and all u can eat tacos....yes, five dollars!  We'd be so into the convo, that even though we got outta bed, and even though we changed out underwear for this class, we decide we rather be outside and gibber gab instead of hearing about Microeconomics and stuff.  Now I ain't saying this is right, just painting tha picture on our birth of fun.

I may have mentioned this before.  But might as well get into it again.  I think when it comes to "Money" this thang woke me up, one day in my college dorm.  I was looking through my closet that was literally alphabetically arranged, by color and by short and long sleeve, and to be honest, by season as well.  Not tha four season, but the retail season it was manufactured.  It was crazy.  I kept all my bags from all of my favorite stores.  Armani Exchange, Versace (Oh, I miss that Versace Jeans Couture fragrance I had.), Gap, Banana Republic, mentioned Abercrombie (I always wanted tha bag with tha girl on the side of it.), u name it, it was in our closet.  Diesel too...One day I was upset.  Not about class, and our grades.  Not about how I was doing on the basketball team (Which was fine.).  Not even about girls.  But the thang that almost got me to firing one of those cheap dorm phones across the room was tha fact that one of the Prada T-shirts that I ordered, hadn't come in yet.  Everything else was cool, but that.  And that was what bugged me.  Then as I looked outside of my view of campus from my Penthouse Suite (Not kidding, me and my guys actually lived in the ones on campus!), I thought, so much is going on in life, with my friends, family, and other college students across the country, and I'm tripping cuz I haven't received my hookup from my dudes over in Europe.  Wake up Austin!  I mean...Hello.   I think when it comes to tha 'Mulah' that was a wake-up call.  And one of the first seeds in terms of just living and having fun.  Alright.

U can stop whenever u want to...this is like a three-part mini series on our vices I guess....hope it ain't too boring...

Alright. Now that thang David Bowie once shouted, "Faaamee!"  I'm not gonna hide anything, I've always wanted to be a superstar.  I don't mean like one of those hot for like the beginning of the year, and by the end u're like, "Whatever happened to?"  Naw, bunk that.  I dreamed about like...I love to draw, and still do. Last time I went home I was looking at some old drawings.  Me in like my own commercials, having my own shoe by Nike (Tha ALW21's thank u very much!)  I even came across this drawing, a two-parter even, where I had my own reality show, before there were actually reality shows!  For real...We was ahead of our time, but as we used to watch E!'s Mystery's and Scandals and all those gossip celebrity shows.  Heck, I was really into talk shows as well.  Geraldo, old Ricki Lake, Jenny Jones who I don't give a darn if she's 66 or not, I would still holla at her.  For some reason I used to like to watch her "Geeks to Babes and Hunks" shows.  I wonder why?  Montell Jordan...I mean Montell Williams was high on the afternoon schedule as well.  This Montell Jordan song has been on my mind for awhile...We gonna Let it Ride tonight!...But after seeing and being surrounded by this "era of the celebrity" we just felt like it would be a matter of time before we got our time, but until then, I better study on how others handled their fame.

I felt like I was almost going to class after school.  Then MTV really opened it up even more, with their MTV Cribs series.  It was my generation's Lifestyles of The Rich and Famous.  I used to Looove that.  Cuz it was real, I think...I mean u saw empty refrigerators, Ice-T had video cameras on tripods in his bedroom, so many classic episodes from Missy Elliot and her joint, to Mariah Carey's shoe collection, all held in tubbleware to Paulina Rubio laying around almost naked in her bed to Dale Earnhardt to 50 Cent to tha Cash Money Crew with a young Lil Weezy to Robbie Williams' gigantic castle to Redman keeping it too real in his Jersey place.  So many memories...not even talking about tha athletes.  But I liked that u got to see directly and really indirectly how some of ur favorite stars lived.

As I used to watch these shows weekly, and a lot of times during those Saturday afternoon marathons (Raise ur hand if u used to watch those too!), I used to think how I would live once in that position.  Do I really need 8 cars, when I can only drive one?  Or I would be surprised to see a so-called gangsta hip-hop star living in a place that looked like plain to me with browns and tans.  I think that's where I began to say that fame is cool, but in reality if u don't use it correctly, u just end up having a lot of stuff, and not making a major  impact on people, and more importantly life itself.   U don't wanna just go through life not making an impact on somebody or something.  That's just a waste of breath and time.  I'm still striving and hoping each day that somehow, and someway our dreams will come true.  One other thing about fame...

I think when u chase it, it doesn't last as long.  Like if u actually go through the steps, and don't skip a step.  Meaning...its like being all dressed up to go to a party or gala.  If u're looking right, somebody's gonna notice, and u don't have to be looking for the Ocean Drive Magazine Camera guy or position urself around the people who u think are gonna be spotlighted for that evening.  The spotlight will find you if u just let it.

Sometimes, even for myself, and I know for others u look at TV, or u see a music video or freakin' read the newspaper and see such and such, and wonder, why are these people writing about them for doing nothing, when they should be writing about real people.  More specifically , they should be writing about me.  Don't forget this is our diary, and a diary is supposed to be intimate details of one's life.  Don't ever forget that, this ain't for show!  But I know others feel tha same way, wondering when and if there chance is gonna really ever hit, or has it all been for waste.  I believe in seasons, just like TV shows.  U know when a new show debuts, and it has like a small cult following.  It feels so special because u feel like ur the only one who knows about it, and a couple of ur friends.  Sometimes it takes time before everybody begins to watch it, then u see the reviews and stuff, and u think, "I saw it from the beginning, and I knew it was good, why it take u all so long."

I think "Fame" is like that too.  Everybody can't be on stage at tha same time.  Some have to leave, before others can step on.  Just don't chase it, and if u don't it'll find you.  I promise it will.  And this ain't coming from somebody who hasn't been on "stuff".  I remember this guy once coming to me, "Hey, were u just on TV?!!!"  And we were, and we have been blessed in MANY different papers, publications (Thanks Miami Heat for this past Friday.  Did anybody see us in the Tipoff Magazine for tha game!), and have our pictures in so many different places.  That's probably why I don't have Twitter or Facebook as well.  I don't have to force people to think that I'm something special with pics and showing off every achievement and praise I get from every Tom, Dick and Harry...

I already know I am...

"I don't think I'm better than anybody...but I do think that I'm tha best."

So those incidents and TV shows laid down a few seeds on why we are just about having fun.  When u have certain things, and realize that sometimes they ain't all that, and there's more to life than those "thangs" u realize that fun times and moments really do last a lifetime..

Now.  Should I continue on the final subject, I really got stuff to do tonight.  Whatever...Here we go.

Girls.

I'm gonna write this as real as we can, as we have above.  So if it gets too heated or too much rated R, then u might wanna stop.  U've been warned...

Where do we start?  I have had the pleasure to be around a lot of cool and beautiful girls and women in my lifetime.  From Mom to Grandma to Aunts to Cousins to Friends to Co-workers to Classmates, we have been blessed for real.  In our life, at least, I've felt like we've seen a the whole spectrum, yet we still are surprised.

"I've seen it all, but I haven't seen everything."

One thing, as of recently, that I've realized is that its time out for at least myself to date or go after solely on physical attributes and measurements, and personality traits instead of the entirety of the  person themselves.  Of course, u're attracted to different types of females but the feeling of dating someone solely cuz they...have a pretty butt...love God...nice nerd glasses...is a 32C...dresses nice...likes Hip-Hop...has a nice set of abs...is 6 ft tall and above....is 5'2"....happens to be single....is a Tan Blonde with Brown eyes...is a light-skinned sister who loves sports...is a girl who isn't afraid of interracial dating...has a tattoo...doesn't have a tattoo...doesn't smoke...like football...was born in California...is intellectually intelligent...is half Columbian and half Brazilian...Likes to Dance...used to play hoops in school....all these and many similar ones are reasons that sometimes us guys, and sometimes I myself feel like we have met "The One".  Or at least thought they were the one that night at least.

I used to really jump ahead of the curve.  Not in a bad way, really just within me and...well, less be honest, The Lord above.  I meet a girl.  Find out she likes this or that, then u start to add on all the positives u can find.  "Man...she has a pretty face, she was born in Mexico, wears those nerd glasses that I like, has curves"...u find every thing to make urself feel like she's ur dream girl....Yet, u really haven't had the chance to know her.  Her habits...What she eats...How she wants to raise kids...Does she even wanna have kids?  And with u girls, that can be so tough, cuz u can look so appealing, sometimes naturally, but many times with some help with push-up bras, or Spanx type undergarments, high heels or plastic surgery, that us guys can get mesmerized at times.  Which isn't a bad thang, Lord knows! But when u throw in hot looks on top of those things that may put u in tha conversation then it can sometimes work, or sometimes get very complicated.

We constantly say in this diary, to our Mom, heck to ourself while walking around, just how their ain't too many folks who have seen, interacted, and had as many crazy experiences with females than us.  I say that with grand confidence.  Grand.  Maybe Prince or Rodman and MJ or Michael Jackson or Elvis or I guess I gotta say Hugh Hefner, but I'm dead serious.  Tha list is short.  Hopefully this diary has proved that, and even if it hasn't it's still true.  The things I see...Even on today, I was with this girl, and she just like grab her boobs with both of her hands in front of me, as she was talking to me.  I"m like, "This is how us guys get into trouble."  These indirect flirtations u dig.  I got something to get off our chest....

This is personal.  It has become difficult, and this goes out to all the guys and girls who have been in "tha game" for awhile.  And for those who get flirted with and hit on like constantly.  U know who u are...  Ok...Is it me or do u find it difficult to approach somebody on first sight?  Like when u've seen so much, u sometimes realize that when u bump into somebody at the club or at a party, or even at the library, that perhaps this is the best they may actually look.  Like in that may be the only time they look this good.  Especially at a club, down here in Miami...I would say this.  I'm getting into trouble but its true.  Here in Miami, u might see a girl during tha day, and I've told other Miami girls this too, u see a girl during tha day, she got her hair all up in a bonnet, no makeup, freakin' shoes not even tied together, sandwich crumbs on the side of her mouth...and then u see tha same girl at nighttime, and she's all done up, got her contacts in, makeup settle but natural looking, curves busting everywhere, and u think, "Is this tha same girl?"

I may be wrong, but I doubt it...I think tha difference between a Miami girl with say...a girl from New York or California or even Chicago, is that they are a little more consistent.  Like, in terms of u know what u're getting.  So one of those girls may be look like a straight up 7 or 8.  When a Miami girl, not all of them believe u me, but sometimes a girl may look like a 4 but then turn out to be a 10 or off tha charts.  Its all personal preference, and don't get it twisted I rock the South Beach attitude of "I can turn up my looks and shut down tha game anytime I want" as well.  Wearing hoop shorts and dirty sneakers like, "I still look good."  That's how we do it down here in South Beach.  But as I'm alluding to is that...

Consistency is Sexy.

It might take me two or three times before I really begin to do some investigation with friends and family on how she really is.  When I'm not around...Cuz people act differently around certain people.  I like to know how a girl acts when I'm not around.  Because sometimes girl's get caught up into our life or lifestyle, and our obsession of having fun, and begin to think I'm a "Boy Toy" and say and do all kinds of stuff  to us that any other guy would flat out not understand nor be able to resist....Showing us her puppies with her man like 10 feet away...Holding our hand like a doll when u supposed to be with somebody...not gonna get into all that but it's krazy with a "k".

I don't know it all.  But a lot of what we're saying comes from experience.  Tough, tough...very difficult experiences.  When u've been close to seeing everything u want in a girl, and I do mean everything and still things don't go how u thought they would, that opens ur eyes.  Then u realize that u CAN have just about this and that in common and still not be with that person or even be friends with that person.  As a kid, the thought of marriage was assumed that u'll find a person where u'll have everything in common with them and it'll be a perfect match.  I think that may be true, but can be false as well.  I think not even marriage but freakin' friendship and just dating somebody is finding that line between what u have in common with somebody, what u don't, and what are u willing to put up with.  That all differs between each person.

Done looking for that perfect somebody I can live with.  Now its about being with folks I can't live without.  Yeah, this may all seem egotistical.  Yeah, it sounds like I'm talking from a Playboy perspective.  But as I've learned, this is what I've become.  Now instead of looking just for somebody to hit a home run with, I'm learning that it's ok to get singles and doubles.  U know....I still like intimacy...I still like belly button licking...but sooner or later it hits u that having fun in terms of learning about a person, and not learning about the size of their waist or wondering if their ta-ta's are fake...So what?  Does this person make u happy?  Do u feel excited...I felt excited today just to see a certain someone's name on a piece of paper.  Just to see her name, gave me butterflies, cuz I feel like she's a special gal.  If it's in the Lord's Will, we will talk and connect, but until then...If I focus on having fun, and not try or worry about luring to my showroom just because.  Everything  will take care of itself.

Fun is the ultimate afrodisiac.

Believe u me...it is.

Alright.  Too much from tha kid.  Too intimate.  Too long I know.  But just a few thoughts...

Now u know how we come to be just a guy who wants to have fun.  I got a lot of things people are chasing...right now.  Been truly blessed.  But let me tell you this...if u ain't sharing tha fun, it ain't worth jack diddly pooh.  Knowing that u read this diary, u have more than a piece of me, is satisfying enough.  Cuz I know this diary is one of a kind.  And beyond the Money, Fame and Girls that we once chased ruthlessly...just tha thought u have a piece of this unique life is cool.  Or better yet...

It's my type of fun.

Austinno.