(Parental Discretion Once Again is Strongly Advised)
Previously on The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia...Click Here.
Now...The Conclusion of "Knife Stronger Than Tha Galaxia?"
Enjoy!
I hope this Doctor is good, I don't wanna end up on no cover story for the Miami New Times, for real ya understand! Can just see tha headline now, "Austino Galaxia. Budden Star to Budden Scar." Tha Kid don't want none of that. Got me walking down this here hallway, alone. I don't know where tha nurse went. Whatever. Let me see, where's our room...Freakin', this must be it. I mean they got my name inside of a star like I'm going into the dressing room of a Broadway Leisban...I mean, Thespian. Crack open this door.
(Click.)
Wow! They got all my favorite stuff in here. Let me see, Trail Mix over there...Bucket full of Blue Crispy M&M's over there, even though I might not eat any today, just because I don't want nothing to interfere with today's procedure. Pancakes...Pasta with Turkey...Little Caesars' 'Meatsa, Meatsa' pizza, I didn't even think they made that anymore. Alright. I'm getting kind of scared right now. Is it me, or is this starting to look like a "Last Meal" type of setup. Got tha new Venue Magazine, with tha cast from Devious Maids on tha cover, that's my show right there. Rosie is my girl, though. Her innocence and how she dresses and acts reminds me of the type of girl I would date. Kinda cute too, huh. Then look at this bench, I've never sat on anything like this. Usually, Doctor's got that Dollar Store toliet tissue paper to sit on, but dude this is straight up like, from Gucci's Christmas shopping bags. Classy, I likes. DVD's are over there...Grey's Anatomy, ER, Oh, shoot, they even got that show Doc. What's this? Please don't tell me they got tha board game Operation, man, they hooking me up for real. Maybe I should go under tha knife more often. I wonder if I still got it. I used to break off my bro, and my cousin Nic Nik real raw when I used to pull the funny bone just...like...thi..
(Bizz! Bizz!)
Guess I need a little more practice on tha game. Cool. Still can't believe I'm about to do this. All to look good, right. I need this, cuz it's like tha game has changed. And here in Miami, if u can't beat them, join 'em right? So...
(Click.)
"Well, Well, Well...if it isn't Austino Galaxia. Glad to meet you. I'm a big fan."
In that case I'm glad that u came in here, cuz it is kind of hot, and a brotha can use a circulation of air up in here!
"Funny. So I read ur reasoning for this procedure. Tell me what's up."
Alright, Doc! Right now, I've decided to go all out. Like change up everything. Lately, I've just let things flow, but now I feel like it's time to change our look a little bit. My closet is full of names and vowels I can't even pronnounce, I got a new scent, the shoe collection is right, my fridge is packed, Doc u like Eggo's? I got like 8 boxes in my freezer, I mean if u want some, I can hook u up.
"Ah...No, thank you. Please...Continue."
It's time that I show tha world, who we are, and I just want to look my best. I feel like we look sorta hot, but I want to look 'hot, hot' like them people that be posing in those store front windows. They be looking on point.
"U know, Mr. Galaxia, that those aren't real people in those windows. They're mannequins."
Oh. But can u make me look like one of them. Take me to tha next level, Doc. It's time to, as Kevin Hart would say, "TURN IT UP!!! TURN IT UP!!!" I want you to make us look like the combination of Will Smith, Tom Cruise, George Clooney and like freakin' Natalie Portman in one.
"Natalie Portman?"
Yeah, Doc, she's like, kinda hot, so if u can throw in a little bit of her just to give me a little bit of a feminine look. Just because. Girls like that Metrosexual look, believe u me, Doc.
"Alright. Hold on. I can't do all that. I'm an Ar-tisst. Sure. But what u're asking for, the only person who can do that is Miss Magica De Spell off of Ducktales, and I don't even think she could pull this one off. Let me ask you, may I take an examination of ur body? That will help me to determine what procedure is best for you."
This ain't gonna be know hanky, panky type of stuff is it. I mean, I like to be touched, tickled, and if a girl is shaking her poms-poms on tha dance floor right, I may even like to say ahh, but I'm not into no I poke you, then tell me if it hurts stuff. No-sir-ree, after watching For The Love of Ray J, I've decided that I want tha lights on, for whatever pops off. Cuz when the lights on, u can see...
"What are u talking about? Take off ur clothes, take off ur shirt, and drop ur bridges."
Ok. Ok. Guess I'm glad that I shaved my abs and around "my stuff" last week, huh Doc. Don't want u to be seeing me looking like Big Foot. Even though Big Foot would be a great name if I was a stripper. See Big Foot could mean...
"Enough with all tha sexual innuendos alright. I'm married, and I'm not in tha mood. Pull down ur bridges."
Whatever.
"Hugo Boss, huh. I thought u were exclusively an Emporio Armani guy when it came to the undies."
Like I said, it's a new season.
"Alright. I'm gonna touch u in a few places. Don't be alarmed. It's part of tha job. First let me get my light, now don't be alarmed by this spotlight, I just want to take a look around ur eyes."
(Foom!)
Dang Doc! That thing is like...Are u checking my eyes, or interrogating me for every crime since Hoffa?! Get that out of my face, Doc. U're making me feel uncomfortable.
"Just what I thought."
(Foom!)
"Now let me check ur abs...Abs are kind of hard. What do u do."
Well see Doc, I usually do inclined Ab work for four sets, with 12 reps. Or I may go hanging alternative leg lefts on tha...
"That was a rhetorical question. Just what I thought. Open up, and let me look at ur teeth."
Dude, ain't u supposed to go in order, like I'm starting to feel like u got me in straight "On-Demand" mode. I mean, What's up Doc...Hey, What's up Doc!! (In Bugs Bunny Voice)
"U need to leave that candy alone."
I barely eat candy.
"I'm talking about that Eye Candy, that ur chewing on daily."
Well, Doc, I love u, but if u want me to give up Eye Candy, that's Good 'n Plenty down here in tha M.I.A, then u might just have to fly to Mars, cuz it's gonna take more that 100 Grand for me to give up tha Kit Kat.
(Serious look) "Just what I thought. Now drop tha Hugo's."
Now Doc...
"Drop...Tha...Hugo's."
(Undies Dropped on floor) But Rocky never had to drop his Hugo's.
"Turn and Cough."
('Ah-heem!!')
"Turn and Cough, again."
('Ah-heem Again!')
"Pull 'em up. Now there's one more place I want to check, and that's ur heart. I'm checking to make sure that everythangs ok. Pull your chest..."
Do we have to Doc? I mean, it's Friday and I ain't got 'ish to do, can we just do this some other time. Like have me come back, with Priscella.
"With Who? Leave her alone, u don't need to mess with her. Put ur chest to tha X-ray machine....Alright. Now it may seem a little warm, but I want you to breathe normally, Ok. In....Out.....In....Out..."
(Whooo.....whew!....Whooooos.....whew!)
"Now this is interesting."
Oh, Doc. Please tell me that I'm Ok, I mean, there's still so much for me to do, like I gotta see Lady Gaga's upcoming MTV performance...or I gotta see if B.U.M. Equipment is gonna come back in style...or I gotta see if I'm gonna have little Galaxia's or Austino's running around tha stars...Plus I got to..
"Hush. I found something...hanging from your heart."
What's that, Doc.
"A Band-Aid. Have u had ur heart broken before."
A Band-Aid. Well...I wouldn't say broken, but...
"I know about ur love life. I've heard some things. Let me be honest with you. U've come in here, wanting to do something magical to your outside, when there's nothing wrong with you. This feeling of wanting change and this urge, I think it's caused by what's been going on inside. That Band-Aid is finally coming off. It looks like it's been on there awhile. But, your heart is healed. Like totally."
Let me ask u something Doc. Is that why lately I've just been feeling fresh, and like at peace at who we are, and who we are as a this big kid. Like, I've "Let Go", and let everythang and everybody come to us, and...
"The key stage to when things are about to break in one's life is when u realize that things are about to break in one's life. Being confident in what u've been through, and how u've survived when u didn't think u would, or how that certain experiences or people came into ur life to make u better and not break u down. If I were a betting man, I would suspect that ur life is really about to take off, and that u have nothing but good times ahead. Always remember...When a heart breaks, the rest of the body makes up for it, and becomes stronger. So when ur heart does heal, the entire whole bounces back better than ever because of it. Always remember that."
How do u know all this, when ur a Plastic Surgeon?
"One needs not a degree to know about a broken heart. Whether its from love or jobs or life... Game recognizes game my friend."
Word.
"Word...up. Alright. No charge for tonight. But I do have one request."
What's that Doc?
"I want u to live ur fun. U claim u're one of the best to ever do it, so now live like it. Can you do that for me?"
U got it, Doc. U got it.
"I expect to see a show. One never ever seen before..."
Or again. But Doc, before I let you go, I got one question.
"Sure."
How am I supposed to get rid of this Band-Aid inside of me?
"Ha ha." (Walking Away)
But Doc!...DOC!...Guess I put my clothes back on. I come to get some work done on my body, and instead it's my heart that is tha main subject of conversation. Oh well. Dude, found a Band-Aid hanging by the thread. I'm about to really get loose here. Share tha Fun. Share tha Love. That's all I want to do. Let me get outta here...
(Click.)
Priscella...Priscella....Shoot! She done left. Typical Miami girl, say one thang, and do another...whatever. Probably my fault, I was in there too long gibby gabbing. Got everything. Alright. No reason to stay I guess...
(ANGELICA JULIA GUTIERREZ)
Say what?
(ANGELICA, THE DOCTOR WILL SEE YOU NOW.)
Huh. I could be closer to my dreams than I think. Maybe I'll just hang out here for a little bit longer. I have a seat next to me that's empty, maybe you should to. I have a feeling that this is about to get very interesting. Yep....Very, Very...interesting.
Austino.
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