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| This was a favorite old school cartoon of mine! |
On the previous episode of The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia....
...that's Austino.
'Put him's on zhe phone of zhe spea-ker.'
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?"
Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor.
"...IF IT WAS SO SICK, THEN WHY DID WE BREAK UP?"
I don't know...you keep calling me. I think I just need some time to think about me...
'You's...ah...still loves a him don'ts you?'
I don't know, Yammi...
'...Do you still want to do zhis?'
And now...the latest and much anticipated newest episode...Enjoy:
"Ah...what's are we's a going to do's now? Julia's not's in zhe right frame of mind to do this Boss."
'Yammi.... has she told you, "no"? If she hasn't give her some time, these girls get all caught up and lovey dovey with these type of guys, and next thing you know they wake up to their senses. Give her a minute, and then we'll go from there, alright.'
"I's ah...know Boss, but zhere's just so much goings on down here in zhe Miami Beach, and just following zhis Austino Galaxia guy is a tough."
'That's why I have both of you down there to find out more about him. What else have you all come up with?'
"Boss...it's been tough. Last night, Julia and myself got a tip that he was supposed to be at this place called Super Wheels. And..."
'What the heck is a Super Wheels? Was he buying a new car...if so, I hope he got that new Aston Martin, it purrs like a pussycat.'
"Ah...no, Boss! It is a...roller skating place."
'This better be good. So what happened when he showed up?'
"Well...Boss, zhat's zhe problem...he didn't. Something happened, and he never showed. But Julia and myself had a great time. We skated and danced to...ah...zhe Bee Gees! I...ah...felt like a...John Trovolta on skates. We had a ball!"
'I'm not pay you guys to go down there and have a ball...I'm dishing out these Ching-a-lings so that you can do your job and get some information on our subject. Got it!?!'
"Yes...Boss."
'I've been doing some reading of this Galaxia fellow's diary, and he does remind me of that Alfie character. But from what I'm hearing on my end, I hear that something's been on his mind. That he hasn't been his usual self. What do you guys know, down there?'
"We knows zhere has been stuff going on in his life...and not just involving Julia, although she can take your mind off of some of zhe...ah... intricacies of life. (Cough, Cough) I know's he's thinking about his finances and is more than likely gonna open up a new bank account in zhe next few days..."
'Big money, Yammi?'
"Just a little bit for zhe fun he has down here...Could be To-tal Bank...or ah's...Charley Schwab...He's been interested in zhe international market, and he's always been intrigued by zhe Chinese bank of...ah...H...S...B-See...we still don't know, but we'll find out's for-you...Boss."
'Good...very good.'
"A..neighbor at his home has also given us some...ah...infor-ma-shone....concerning Monsieur Galaxia....He's been hearing a lot of noise from his place."
'Headboard knocking?'
"No...or I'm not sure...maybe...but a lot of activity for sure. I got a holds of his ah...Dish satellite bill...and he's been watching some movies the last few days...alone or with someone...not sure."
'What was he watching...or should I even ask?'
"Zhese movies like Ar-thur with Russell Brand...which if I recall during zhe movie, Russell and his nanny had zhis part where she was wearing zhis Dark...ah...Vador mask on in bed. Which is mighty interesting, Boss...cuz...I heard Galaxia talk to Julia during there last chat, and he mentioned two years ago, on lover's holiday, how he wore a Dark Vador mask as well! Amazing, Boss! It's somezhing about Star Trek, huh?!!"
'Yammi...you do mean Star Wars don't you?'
"Exactly Boss...zhe one where zhey had Dr. Spock and zhe Captain, Boss!"
'Oh, Boy...what am I gonna do....what else?'
"And the neighbor distinctively heard zhe movie ah...Friends with Benefits, with zhat cute girl from Zhat 70's show...and..."
'Oh, I love those old days of TV...Which 70's show, Yammi?'
"Zhat 70's Show."
'I know, that's why I'm asking you, which one?!!'
"No...no...I'ms a talking 'bout Zhat 70's Show?"
"I KNOW!!! WHICH ONE...never mind."
'Me don'ts understand...whatever...but it had zhat Justin Timber-river guy in it.'
"Did he dance in it? Like did he do The Charleston? I used to do that one!"
'Ah...no!! A clap here or there...mostly zhe dancing was in zhe covers, how I like it too! but..ah...he's alright, and he may have brought sexy back, got girls over him...I heard he's stoned out on love now so once zhese guys begin to get ah...hooked on those drugs...it's over. I remember zhis famous singer, Preston Le Floor.'
"Who??!"
'Ah...Boss. You's don't know Preston Le Floor? He's only zhe most famous Canadian singer of my generation. He once put on a show before zhe Edminton Oilers hockey game...back when The Great One was still on skates...Let's just say ah...he broke zhe ice zhat night, and what I hear, at zhe after party following zhe game... zhe creme de la creme met up at his hotel, and he ah...gave a whole 'nother definition of ...zhe hat trick! If you know what I a means Boss! He's a legend!'
"Is this groupie love all you think about, Yammi? I mean, really does it consume you?"
'Ah...'
"No need for an answer...I'm pressed for time. Anything else, you got Yammi?"
'Well...some zhings Boss...I know's he studying zhis book on zhe Rolling Stones...it's a history of zhe group, but in cartoons. I read zhat book myself, and actually had it, until zhat Jennifer came a over's...Boss, she took it, I know it! After I fed her some good porridge...'
"Calm down, Yammi..."
'And I's ah...cooked Boss...Carrot Stew with beans, rice, and slices of Bananas...'
"Calm down, Yammi..."
'And after I showed her my private collection of...'
"Good-Bye, Yammi."
(Click.)
'...Collection of...Chello?...Boss? I was just gonna tell him about my collection of Hotel Matchbooks. Oh's well...let me see...I should check on Julia, shouldn't I? I must admit, she is a looker...why did ah...she and zhis Galaxia fellow break up?...She says it's because of zhis di-a-ree, but...I's a figure, zhere's something else....'
(Boom, Boom, Boom)
'Who is zhis knocking excessively at my...'
(Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!)
'I'M COMING...I'M COMING...(Door Opens)...Oh, it's you again...zhe concierge. (Hand fling in zhe air) What do you want zhis time?'
"Well, it's great to see you again to sir? (Sarcastically Spoken) If I recall, the last time you and me met, we had a little altercation of sorts."
'You had an attitude and were in a-rush... and you's had to go and watch ah...Jay Low on, some Nuestra Latina show or ah...zome-thing...'
"Ah...you remember! Ain't it funny...I couldn't miss that bro...tonight, Sofia Vergara is gonna be making a guest apperance, so I have no time to be shucking and jiving with ya! Here, take this..."
'What is zhis?'
"Like, I know...dude, like I said, I got to go, I ain't got no DVR, and everybody know that Univision is funky fuzzy without cable. It's my turn to foil up and then set the antenna to the East so me and tha fam can get our laugh on...so why don't you just sign this paper, and have a good one...Chef!"
'Chef?...I'm not a che..'
"JUST SIGN!!!"
(Scribble...Dot!)
"Thank you...these guys...they come to Miami, and just because they ride in an Aston they think..."
(Door Closes)
'This is odd...and envelope...with no writing on the outside...I wonder who zhis could be from...an enemy?...from ah...Boss?...I hope it's not from zhat girl I met two nights ago at ah...Cameo...Me don't wants no Maury..."You ARE zhe fa-ther"...No...Please, No...Not's...ah... now...I wonder zhen...just wonder...who???'
A.G.
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