Now tonight's episode...Enjoy!
So pass me my purse, Yammi...Alright. I got these photos inside this portfolio here, and...
(Don't talk...Baby just move with me...Take a...)
'Ah...Ms. Juliee-a...your's phone is a...ringing...'
(Don't talk...Baby just move with me...Take a ...)
I know...that's Austino.
'What? Galaxia? Well's aren't you's ah...gonna picks up zhe phone?'
(Don't talk...Baby just...)
Alright. Hello.
'Put him's on zhe phone of zhe spea-ker' (Whisper)
Hello.
"JULIA...WHAT'S GOING ON HOMEGIRL?"
I'm doing alright. Just relaxing here in by the beachside in Brazil...I miss you babe.
"YEAH, I MISS YOU TOO."
So, what have you been up too?
"WELL, IT'S BEEN A LITTLE BUSY SINCE WE'VE TALKED THE OTHER DAY. IT WAS THANKSGIVING WEEKEND OVER HERE IN THE STATES SO..."
Did you eat a lot of turkey?
"YOU KNOW I EAT IT ALL YEAR, SO ONE DAY OF DABBLING WASN'T A BIG THING...YOU KNOW I JUST THOUGHT OF MY NEW NICKNAME."
What is it?
"I'M GONNA CALL MYSELF MR. GOBBLE GOBBLE!"
(Giggle...)
'What's ah...Gobble...Gobble?' (Whisper)
"WHAT DO YOU THINK, DOES IT FIT?"
Well, I have seen you do some wild things...
"LIKE ST. VALENTINE'S DAY TWO YEARS AGO...HUH...YOU REMEMBER DON'T YOU...WITH THA STRAWBERRIES..."
Yeah...
"AND THA CHOCOLATE HANDCUFFS..."
Yeah, Babe....
"AND YOU WERE DRESSED LIKE TINKERBELL, AND I WAS SWAGGED OUT WITH A DARK VADER MASK ON TOP WITH JUST SUSPENDERS AND YOU TOLD ME TO MOVE MY..."
I remember.....Stooop.....U so silly. So what else has been up, babe?
"BEEN JUST CHILLIN...THINGS ARE STARTING TO PICK UP SOME."
Really huh? How's things with those girls you told me about? U going to the alter any time soon...
"SEE, JULIA THERE YOU GO....AH...I'M NOT MESSING WITH ANY OF THOSE GIRLS...JUST ENJOYING THA SINGLE LIFE..."
So typical?
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?"
You don't want me to go there, do you?
"ACTUALLY, I DO...YOU SOUND LIKE SOMETHING'S ON YOUR MIND, SO LET'S TALK..."
Ok...I'm so tired of you guys, asking us beautiful women out...all wining and dining us beautiful women...talking to us like you're gonna treat us right, and then u don't make an effort...especially you...to really work to make something work. I know you see a lot of girls, and they are all around you 24/7, but you take us for granted and think that we are just a piece of leftover meat...we are more than sex ok.
"WOW! NUMBER ONE, IF I RECALL CORRECTLY I JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT A FEW GIRLS THAT CAUGHT OUR ATTENTION. NOTHING EVER CAME OF IT. ONE, I HAVEN'T SEEN AGAIN...ANOTHER, JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT, AND I'M GLAD OF IT, CUZ NOW I SEE WHAT I REALLY WANT...AS FOR YOU THINKING I'M JUST A SEX MACHINE...SEX IS NOT ALL I THINK ABOUT...SEX IS ALL I THINK ABOUT YOU."
U don't mean that...cuz if you did, why are you calling me right now.
(Silence)
So what have you learned Dr. Love?
"WELL, I'VE LEARNED A LOT...LIFE IS WILD! YOU JUST NEVER KNOW...I'M LETTING EVERYTHING COME TO US, WHICH IT IS...I THINK ONCE YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MANY THINGS AND EPISODES GALORE, YOU LEARN WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE, WHAT YOU CAN'T, HOW MUCH THE FUN DECIMAL LEVEL HAS TO BE ON OUR RADAR FOR ME TO REALLY CLICK WITH SOMEBODY...YOU TAUGHT ME A LOT JULIA...JUST HOW TO TREAT A REALLY SPECIAL LADY. AND SOMEONE WHO CAN EXPAND MY MIND AND BODY IN SO MANY WAYS, AND HOW TO LEARN HOW TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO'S ATTRACTIVE AND WHO'S WANTED BY SO MANY OTHERS. A LOT OF LESSONS BOUT LOVE HAS BEEN SHOWN TO US."
Thank you...I guess.
"AND WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM DATING ME?"
Nada.
"Nothing?"
Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor.
"You just gotta go and speak Spanish don't you? Now, what does that mean? Did you just cuss me out?"
No...silly. (Huge Blow) I just said that, 'Love without madness, is not love.' That's what I learned when I was with you. We had so much fun together, going to concerts, all types...seeing you get happy watching a ball game especially when the Heat or Lakers were playing...Us watching new episodes of Shahs of Sunset on Bravo...Or us shopping til we drop....so much. But I recall those tough times, like that one day we returned from a trip only for you to have one of the worse days of your life...We went through so much...
"OK. JULIA...LET ME ASK YOU STRAIGHT UP...IF WE WERE ALL THIS AND A BAG OF CHEETOS.."
I hate Cheetos...yuk!!
"JUST LISTEN GIRL...IF WE WERE ALL THAT. IF OUR RHYTHM TOGETHER, WHEREVER WE WENT...IN THE STREETS...AT PARTIES...ON TOP OF WASHER AND DRYERS...IF IT WAS SO SICK, THEN WHY DID WE BREAK UP?"
You really want the answer?
"YEAH, I DO. CUZ YOU REALLY DIDN'T TELL ME, YOU JUST UP AND LEFT AFTER A NIGHT AFTER GETTING SOME CREPES...YOU JUST HOPPED ON A PLANE AND LEFT ME, GIRL."
Since, you wanna know, I'll tell you...It was your diary.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY DIARY?"
When you first started I thought it was so cute for you to share you stories with the rest of the world...or Galaxy. But after awhile I...I...
"GIRL, WHEN I FIRST YOU, I TOLD YOU NOT TO HOLD ANYTHING BACK FROM ME, SO SPILL OUT WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY..."
I just got tired of...Oh...Austino...I loved you so much, but I just got tired of all the stories about other girls from your past...It just...(Sniff...Sniff)...It was too much.
"BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY PAST..."
You did...sort of. Just to read about...(Sniff, Sniff)...it's like you had a secret life, I didn't know about. And then to have soooo many people, and my girlfriends ask me about this girl or that one...it was just too much.
(Sniff)
"YOU KNEW HOW IT WAS THOUGH. AND LIKE I SAID, THAT WAS THE PAST. U HAVE YOURS...I HAVE MINE. I MOVED ON..."
But why did you have to...(Sniff)... continue to pull out stories like rabbit out of a hat?
"MORE LIKE BUNNIES ACTUALLY BUT...GOD BRINGS THINGS AND PEOPLE INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON, I HAVE HAD MY SHARE OF HEARTBREAK'S AND 808'S AND IT WASN'T LIKE I ASKED FOR THEM. I DIDN'T ASK TO HAVE MY EYE ON A GIRL WHO WAS A STRIPPER, OR TO FALL AND KATY PERRY KISS A GIRL WHO WAS SEXY AS CAN BE...YET GAY. I DIDN'T ASK FOR THOSE THINGS TO BE BESTOWED UPON ME. I'VE GOT A CRAZY LIFESTYLE, GIRL. DOES THAT MAKE ME LESS OF A MAN? NO. HECK, I ACTUALLY THINK IT MAKES ME MORE OF A ONE."
Well, I just don't like sharing you with so many other people. That stuff, I could not handle....people getting to know so much personal things about you like your obsession with underwear or how you love cartoons or sharing your dreams you have at night or how you want to have your own quote unquote 'era'...that's stuff you need to keep between you and your girlfriend. Not the rest of the world or whatever.
"IF YOU LOVE ME, YOU HAVE TO LOVE ALL OF ME...PART OF ME IS SHARING THE FUN AND EXPERIENCES AND SOMETIMES PAIN, JUST TO HELP SOMEBODY ELSE, HOMEGIRL. I'M NOT GONNA BE WRITING FOREVER, SO....I MEAN, IF YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME, I WOULD HAVE STOPPED. I THOUGHT ABOUT IT ALOT. JUST RETIRING..."
Like that one girl?
"I'M NOT EVEN GOING INTO THAT...LISTEN I GOT TO GO...ARE WE COOL?"
I don't know...you keep calling me. I think I just need some time to think about me...get some me time, u know.
'Ah...choo!'
"ARE YOU WITH SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW? U BETTER NOT HAVE HAD ME ON SPEAKERPH...PLEASE SAY YOU DIDN'T HAVE ME ON SPEAKER. U KNOW I CAN'T STAND THAT CUZ THAT MAKES THE CONVO NOTHING BUT A GAME TO SHOW OUT IN FRONT OF YOU FRIENDS AND ALL..."
Babe...it's just you and me. That was the TV.
"A'IGHT...WHEN YOU COMING BACK OVER TO THE STATES?"
Soon. I'll be over very soon.
"WHEN YOU DO WE GOTTA MEET UP. HERE IN MIAMI, OR LA OR WHEREVER. WOULD LUV TO SEE YA, GIRL."
I know....I know.
"TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, AND TELL UR PEEPS 'HI' AND TELL YOUR BROTHER TO KEEP PRACTICING HIS SOCCER SKILLS. HE'S GONNA BE THA NEXT CHRISTIANO RONALDO."
I will.
"TALK TO YOU LATER. TWO FINGER KISS ON YOUR LIPS."
Two finger kiss on your lips, too.
"BYE."
Bye.
(Click.)
Yammi, why did you have to sneeze? He heard you!!
'Ah...I was ah...eating zhis Cubano Sandwich from ah...La Carreta...and zhey puts too much...pep-per on its.'
(Sniff...Sniff)
'You's...ah...still loves a him don'ts you? Do you still want to do zhis?'
I don't know, Yammi. We just had so much in common. He's a once in a lifetime type of guy. Just wants to love and have fun. And so do I. You know, I'm not in tha mood to pull out these pictures after all. I just need some time laying out on the sand to think about life, love ...
'Ah, Austino.'
Yes...him to. Sorry for crying, but...
'I's...ah...understand. I once was in loves...maybe more zhan once...we have a saying in Canada when it's a comes to a love.'
What is it?
'Love's is likes zhe mighty Niagra Falls. You wanna see it. You wanna live it. You've heard it's a...beautiful sight. But once u've experienced it. It leaves you's...ah...all wet and smelly...and knowing zhat to some it's zhe anticipation...to others it's ah... zhe thrill...while to...some it's zhe feeling of a few minutes of getting wet.'
Yammi, that makes no sense....What is love to you?
'Ah...love's not zhe anticipation...or zhe thrill...or zhe wet part...it's zhe unexpectancy of it zhat makes me ah...happy.'
But Yammi, you're not married, you're single, and living the jetset bachelor life.
'Zhat's it though...although I haven't settled down zhat's an..an-gle. But zhe unexpectancy of not knowing what a 'Hi' or what a simple question of 'quel est votre signe' is what keeps me ah...going. Love never has an end. True love, and zhe thought of it, always brings a new beginning. Let me walk with you down to tha beach, it's getting late, you still wanna go?'
I need to clear my mind, thanks. (Beach Towel Tossed)...Oh. Thanks. By the way, Yammi, what does, "Quel est votre signe" mean, I speak very little French.
'Oh, it works every times I'm out at a par-ty...it a means in Eng-lish..."What's Your Sign?"'
Yammi...
'Ah, yes...'
Only speak that in French when you're in America.
'Oh...but it works! And as Austino Galaxia would say..."ZHAT'S MY GO-TO!!"'
A.G.
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