(Ring...Ring....)
"Ah, come on! Pick up tha phone..."
(Ring...Ring...Ring...)
"I guess I need to find someone I know who can get right down to tha point and who knows something about this guy..."
"Julia Angelica Gutierrez."
'What's in it for me?'
"I'll do whatever you want."
'Whatever...hummm..'
"...she knows everything about this Galaxia guy. His habits, his tendacies...I think I've just found Yammi's new partner..."
And now the lastest installment of The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia...Enjoy!
Oh's what a night...what's a wild's night...Mi Amo Miami!! Now's zhe sun's ah...out, and it's ah...morning. Let's me see what's time is it...4:30...oh, zhat's gre...wait a minute...zhe sun's a out so bright for zha morning...Oh...No's...Don't tell me I've been sleeping for...let me check my phone. Fudge Cakers! I've got missed calls...what's this text from my Boss:
'yammi, it's ur boss. i'm cinding some1 dwn 2 south beach 2 help u out....'
What?!! I don't needs no's help with zhis...I'm...zhe best. Like Picasso...Likes zhe Beethoven...Likes 'zhe Situation'...no help. None. Let me call Boss to get zhis all straighten out....
(Ring....Ring...Ri....)
"Well, well, well, Good Evening sunshine."
'Hi, Boss.'
"Don't 'Hi, Boss' me...where have u been, I've been trying to contact you all morning. Have u been sniffing skirts again last night?"
'Well...I kind...'
"U know what I don't need any explanation. Let's cut straight through tha velveeta and get straight to the gooey stuff. U got a partner."
'But Boss, I got...zhis under...'
"Don't give me that crap, Yammi. All u do is party down there in South Beach. I bet you have learned more about the women in Miami Beach than our subject numbero uno Austino Galaxia, haven't you?"
'Ah's...'
"Matter of fact, let me get my pen and paper out...tell me Yammi, what have you learned about this Galaxia?"
'Well, Boss...zhe walks alot...zhe eats...zhe walks alot...zhe eats again...'
"And I once stood in front of the Honorable Judge Judy and testified on your behalf...gheez..."
'How's I do...ah Boss?'
"So here's zhe plan...your new partner is Ms. Julia Angelica Gutierrez...and she's..."
'Hold's up's Boss...did you said...ah...Julia Angelica Gutierrez...like zhe model?'
"Yes...I did Yammi, I take it u've heard of her..."
'Ah...Boss...zhe's likes...a diamond...so beautiful...did you's know she was on zhe...Top Chef?'
"I know Yammi, listen...zhis is...wait, I'm beginning to talk like you...this is strictly business alright. Now she's gonna call me back her in a few minutes...."
(Beep...Beep....Beep)
'Yammi, that's her on the other line...you're gonna have call me back alright.'
"But Boss, I've got some..."
(Click.)
"Ms. Gutierrez, how are you?"
'I'm fine Boss...and I apologize for having delayed calling you back, but I just got a call.'
"A call...from who?"
'Austino Galaxia.'
"What?? What did he have to say?"
'Well...here's goes...he called because his day has been more wild and crazy than Prince Harry partying in Vegas!'
"That's wild."
'Here's a small recap...he said he's been thinking about our past together, and how that made him stronger and better with these other girls...ah...he told me he asked this one girl out that he's been thinking about....'
"Ginobili!"
'Who?'
"Nothing...sorry...I just remember something that Yammi told me...he was right for once...continue."
'But evidently, even though she's pretty and all, he told me that he really isn't sweating it, if something works out or not, because I guess he's has a lot of options. He was telling me of this one full-figured plus size girl he came upon at some dollar store or something...and he told me of this other beauty with white pants and pretty blond hair at the grocery store...and he...'
"Why is he telling you all this stuff?"
'Well, Boss...we're still friends, I guess...And he just needs someone who can relate to his lifestyle. See...even though he really has it all, sometimes so much is thrown at him, that he just wants to know that somebody else knows what he's going through. It can be a lot at times...just because it looks easy, doesn't mean it is easy.'
"True...anything else..."
'Umm...he's thinking about going to Palm Beach for the holidays...he's almost done with his showroom remodeling project...he told me that he's been loving that new Rick Ross and that Robin Thicke Sex Therapy album...he told me about this new movie featuring one of his favorite singers, Kylie Minogue, called Holy Motors, that he wants to see...as well as some other...stuff.'
"Stuff? So I take it you're in tha hula hoop, huh."
'I know a little...Oh. And he was so excited that someone from England sent this awesome visitor's guide on the city of Liverpool. By how he's talking, he can't wait to go over there. He already knows he's gonna go shop at Liverpool One all day and then whisk the night away at this sexy spot called Circo. Sounds fun...'
'I luv you, babe! I really do, you're awesome with a capital 'A'... Ok...let's talk details. You're flying in to M.I.A from Galeao International on tomorrow and you'll be staying at the same hotel as Yammi. Alright."
'I know a little...Oh. And he was so excited that someone from England sent this awesome visitor's guide on the city of Liverpool. By how he's talking, he can't wait to go over there. He already knows he's gonna go shop at Liverpool One all day and then whisk the night away at this sexy spot called Circo. Sounds fun...'
'I luv you, babe! I really do, you're awesome with a capital 'A'... Ok...let's talk details. You're flying in to M.I.A from Galeao International on tomorrow and you'll be staying at the same hotel as Yammi. Alright."
'That's fine...but aren't we forgetting something?'
"What?"
'My reward for my great effort in ur escapade.'
"Yeah...I forgot...name your price."
'Since you said that Boss...I'll tell you when I land. But I have something else to say...'
"Shoot...not literally...but u know what I mean."
'I've been talking to some of my friends in tha States, and rumor has it, Galaxia is really rounding into...there are some things that I know's been going on, that nobody else knows anything about.'
"Oh...that's why I hired you..."
'No, you don't understand...I was kinda vague tonight, but I have some really crazy stuff to tell you...'
"And why can't you tell me right now?"
'Don't worry, I'll tell you...but I have to see it up close for myself to see if it's actually true or not. I promise you won't believe it.'
"So the next time we'll talk, you'll be on tha sexy sands of South Beach."
'You got it...me and my new partner...and Galaxia...and his secrets...'
"Secrets?...I can't wait."
'Neither can I....It's gonna be a lot going down...Ah...Miami...here we come.'
A.G.
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