Assignment: Holiday Break

A new episode of The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia will premiere on Sunday, December 30th.  

Happy Holidays,

Austino.

Assignment: The Stake Out.

Previously on The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia...we had a special guest...

And now today's newest episode...Enjoy!

"We've been in this Aston now for 3 hours and he hasn't come out yet.  Are you sure that ur source told him that he was gonna be leaving, I mean any time soon?  I mean Yammi...seriously?"

'Ah...me Julia.  Be ah...pay-sent.  Zhis Galaxia will be out in a few minutes.'

"Yammi, I've missed my spa appointment and my Yoga class, and if he doesn't come out in a few, I promise you I have to go and get ready for tonight."

'You's saids...Ah.."Tonight?"'

"Duh?!  My girl from Sao Paulo is flying in this afternoon.  And we're gonna hit up tha town and interact a little bit."

'U South American girls...Canadian girls are so much ah...simple.  Fireplace with a fire.  Ah...marsh...mellows.  Hot cho-ko-let...But you...No...No....No...Party.  Louis Vuitton.  Party.  Beach.  Party.  U knows...life is much a mores.'

"Yammi, u sure think u know a lot about us mamacitas, have you ever dated one?"

'Que?  1998.  Ah...I was in Puerto Rico doing a jobs for a client.  Me never forget her.  Her names was ah....Ginger Ale.'

"Like tha drink."

'Believe u ah...Julia.  Just like.  But better.  She approached me around a Midnite.  A beautiful dancer.'

"And...."

'I don'ts like to talks about zhis but...she tolds me zhat she wanted me to...to....'

"To do what Yammi?  Spit it out!"

'She wanted me to lick her on zhe tip of her...nose.  Like some kind of...she said she saw it on a novela once and ever since then ah...it's her thang.'

"But ur supposed to be a playboy right?  So what did u do?"

'Oh...I did zhe deed!...but after she caught a cold, and when she was ah...sicky.  She would still ask me to do it, on how it would make her feel ah bet-ter.  But I don't do sniffles.  Maybe a cougher, although zhat's a little awkward to be ah...having someone ah...coughing during...'

"Ok.  Too much.  Too much.  Your nuts...(Ha ha!).  Yammi, don't you wish love was simple."

'Yeah.  Galaxia once wrote about zhat very thang...it's part of zhe jour-ney.'

"I just wish...wait...wait.  There he is.  Oh...he got new glasses huh.  He didn't have those when were..."

'Ah...Playing naked footsy.'

"Ok...A little mohawk...Blue v-neck tee....white and green shorts...I bought him those Creative Rec's he's wearing.  But he's not wearing no wrist bracelets."

'Ah...somebody told him not to wear them anymore.  It happened right before he ah..voted.'

"Whatever.  Alright.  He's gone.  U ready to go up in here to see what's poppin' pimp?!"

'Ju-lee-ah....I thought u were's a lady.  U sound likes zhe west side of Vancouver....I likes...I likes...I remember zhis South African beauty who showed me her tat....'

"Later, Yammi.  Let's go inside zhis place and see what he's been up to."

(Car Doors Slam!)

'Ah....me ice picks in zhe car.'

"No need.  I still have a key."

'Whah...'

"I used to spend the night all the time when I was in town.  After those nights riding on his Vespa...look it's still here.  Needs some cleaning though...but after those late nights on the town.  He would wake up early to do his thang, and told me to lock up after I left....Who's this guy sitting on the bench?"

'No idea Julia.'

"Alright...Apt. 4.  Let's crack this bad boy open...Wow!  If this doesn't bring back some memories."

'I just broke in...I means...I...it's not my first time.'

"Let's see.  Books of course.  Andre Agassi.  Austino loved him.  That was his favorite tennis player.  I know this is a good book."

'I don't like him.'

"Why Yammi?"

'Well...one time...'

"Here we go..."

'No...No...one time during zhe US Open in New York...I was chatting it up with ah...Steffi Graf asking her zhe conversation about zhe beauty of German women, VW's and of course I asked her...What's...'

"...Your sign.  I know...I know...so why do u hate Andre."

'He interrupted me.  And zold me zhe was his wif-ee.  And shoved me in zhe pro...cess.  And NO ONE PUSHES ZHE GREAT YAMMI!  So as I ran behinds him and...'

"And he has a book by R. Kelly.  That's a name...Soulacoaster.  Huh."

'I ah...pushed him back.  And zhe mayor Giuliani  or was it ah...Bloomberg?  Anyhows, An-dre  Ag-a-ssi knocked over his cup of Zinfandel, and next zhing's I know...'

"I remember when Galaxia used to light zhe candles and would put on zhat 'Bump 'n Grind'.  We would talk all night and then...Oh, those were tha days."

'So zhis security guard who looked like a baby...ah...Vin Diesel.  He tried to grab me...but I was a Mounty since zhe age of nine. Me more zhan a pretty face. ... So I hits Baby Vin with zhis ah...Billy Banks chop which...'

"YAMMI!  SHUT UP AND GET OVER HERE!"

(Silence.)

"Look at this table."

'Julia...he's been ah...shopping.  No wonder u dated for so long.'

"Lo que sea!  Look at this stuff...a Burberry wallet regular price $265, but current price $19.  Where he get this from?  All these CDs....Angie Martinez...Craig David...Crystal Waters...The Rembrandts...Backstreet Boys..."

'Who are they?'

"I'm gonna ignore you on that.  He always finding these deals, and by this pink shopping bag I know he got them from Out of The Closet off up the street here.  And look at this receipt...all of these CDs were...one dollar."

'That's amazing...12 CDs for a dollar.  I remember...u ah.. did u have Columbia House in Brazil?'

"How u think I got my Santana collection.  I miss going bargain hunting with my Pooh."

'I'm just gonna hop on zhis com-pu-ter to see what Galaxia's been on.'

"Alright.  Hey, Yammi.  You may not even have to look.  Here's some notes he took."

'On a back of a...ah...Capital One Bank envelope.'

"Hey, I gave him my number using the inside palm of his hand, ok.  Anything is game with him."

'I do recalls ah...reading about zhat in his di-a-ree.  Let me see....U got all zhese ah...nombres....Excercise is...King.  Nutrition is Queen.  Put them together u gets a kingdom?  Huh?...'

"Let me see that.  Laugh.  Long life.  Longevity.  Who makes it happen.  You.  In touch with beauties and opprotunities of each life stage...Expanding Our Horizons.  Stop worrying.  Chapter's are close, that's that!"

'Oh no!  I think Galaxia is about to kill himself.  And try to go up in zhe atmosphere.  He wants to be ah...comet!  Don't do it Galaxia!  I'm coming to save you...Don't do it!'

(Bam!)

"Now why did he go running out of here...let me see this thang...u know what.  I got it.  By the parentheses...how would you like to spell that huh...but it seems that he was watching some kind of movie called How To Live Forever.  I actually heard about this.  It talked about how to live life to the fullest and
interviewing some of our elders on their thoughts on life.  Interesting.  Galaxia always said that he never gets old.  Calling himself "The Kid" and stuff.  I think along the same line.  I guess that's why we got along so well.


Everything about this place reminds me of those days of us sneaking around.  I didn't need to hide much here in South Beach, cuz celebrities are everywhere.  But just looking around...from this mini-camera. I can't believe he still has this.  He always and still does have it planted right on the bed.  Just ready for an "J" movie film to be produced.  Huh...Empty bag of Chocolate Cranberry Crunch from Target, of course.  I remember the other day him telling me about walking into the women's bathroom there.  He says by mistake but...knowing his goofy self he probably did it on purpose.

Wow.  Looks like he's finally got Wi-fi now in his place.  He always talked about it.  That's good for him.  Christmas card from Billy and Amy.  WHAT?!  They got another baby?  Camden.  Where have I been for real.  He loves his college friends so much.  The Dynasty.  Oh, if people could hear the stories he's told me about his days living in "the party dorm" of Olson.  People just don't know how much fun he's had...

Look at this.  A notebook filled with stuff from his diary.  Oh, this is special.  It has a list of every single person he asked to participate when he first got started.  All these names.  Wonder why nobody did.  I guess it was meant for him to do it from a personal perspective.  It worked out well...very well.  This is wild.  It has every music playlist he's ever done.  These are so good.  He should be a DJ for real.  A list for the Top 100 Sexy Bea...Oh, yeah. I saw this.  It was on Fuse TV the other day.  He's writing down all 100?  I bet he can't guess what's number one though?  I know...Ha ha!  Here's another list.  Oh my.  Bank.  Restaurants.  Art Basel.  Heat Games.  Apple Iphone.  He's getting ready for next year.  Incognito and Sheila E. in New York City...Yep.  He's never been to New York, always talking about LA this, LA that....I think he'll like it.  Other girls have told him this too.  Whatever.

I miss these days and nights in here.  Laying in his bed with nothing but my Fredrick's of Hollywood's on.  Just the bottoms, as he preferred.  Me and him dancing in front of the TV trying to perfect dance moves from music videos...Him holding his basketball all the time.  I told him to have it in his hands when he does those videos for his diary cuz I knew it would make him more comfy.  Just so much.  Maybe I should try to make it work again.  I think we look so good together.  So sexy.  He says it doesn't matter how u look with somebody, but I know it does.  After all he's been through.  He wants nothing but the best.  I fit.  Why did we have to breaku..."

(Beep-Beep!)

"What's this?  A Text from Yammi:"

He's cuming...Right Now.

"Son of a... Where can I hide in this place?  Bed...Too small for me, I told him girls like me need some....Kitchen, he'll see me...He really stocked up on those Del Monte veggies.  They must've been on sale.  Still No Salt Added...Oh...Where?...Where?...."

(Click, Click!)

"Fudge."

A.G.

"
'

Assignment: A Surprised Guest Appearance.

Previously seen on last episode titled, "A Night With The Boss"....

And now...today's episode...Enjoy!

'So you're absolutely sure about this?  I mean no joking around, this is true?'

"Listen, he told me himself.  One night when things were hot and heavy between us, he told me a lot of stuff that like boyfriends and girlfriends in a relationship would share.  This was one of them."

'Let's just keep this between ourself, until the time is right.  We may can use this information, for us, I think it'll be as useful as a broom sale on Halloween.'

"You're Tha Boss."

'Get some rest, Julia,  alright, it's gonna get real crazy down there in South Florida, and from what I'm hearing you and Yammi are gonna have ur hands full following this Galaxia fellow.  So get ur beauty sleep and I'll talk to you later.'

"Sure 'nuff.  And I just wanna than..."

(Click.)


(The Next Morning)

Man, this has been a wild last couple of days.  (Yawn!!)  Boy...just felt a little out of rhythm of sorts.  Our workout on yesterday was a fight just to get through.  Didn't feel like doing too much, yet was up to the wee hours of the night taking care of some stuff.  But hey, it's a new day, let's see what's going on?  Let me turn on the TV...I just can't watch any of this news coverage of that school shooting.  I just can't do it, I mean who would shoot innocent people for no real reason, just makes u so sick.  And of course the news is gonna really blow it up, almost just like tha shooter would want it...u can't live in fear so...just pray for those families and friends cuz...it hits home for everyone, especially if u have kids.   

I was just thinking the other day, how my life is so different from so many people I know.  I wonder what have I become.  Not in a bad way, I hope (Gulp!), but just in a...it's tough to explain.  When many of ur friends have their wives, and soon-to-be's, with a kid or two, maybe got their careers in order with their homes and such, we just wonder what about "The Kid" u know...The Heat beat the Wizards last night, I knew they were gonna blow them out, I really didn't even concern myself with the game cuz I knew.  It's different this year, not as much hype, this seems like a good article in today's Miami Herald from my guy Dan Le Batard, I guess he feels the same way.  It's like sometimes its more fun chasing the prize than the hype of actually getting it.  Not for everything, but in a lotta ways. 

Man, nothing on TV, I guess I'll settle on watching Pop's dude Guy Fieri as he cooks with my Pre-School crush Brooke Shields.  Having a crush when u're six years old, is that even legal?  I mean while other kids were thinking about playing with toys and crayons, I guess I had other things on my mind.  Some kids learned the alphabet A-B-C-D, etc...I guess I learned mine, L-O-V-E-K-I-S-S-I-N-G, etc., heck I didn't even know their wasn't two S's in tha thang until like 3 years ago.  It took me until last year to know that there aren't three X's in the alphabet!  That's funny, once again, u gotta be a freak to get that!  Maybe that's the whole problem, I see so much beauty in not only people, but in these girls.  It's insane, what I encounter on a daily basis.  I feel so different...it's not a craving, but more of an appreciation of what sexiness is really all about.  A girl can look girl with short stature, tall stature, 32A cup, 44DD cup, pretty smile, arm full of tattoos, dresses like a fashion intern, has the freakyness of a political intern, loves God, loves to party, has a voice of an angel, weighs 195 pounds but carries herself like a queen, is over the age of 40...50....60...under the age of...well, I better not go there.  But it's like I have gone through EVERY single step in terms of love life.  Every one.  The lessons I have learned are so invaluable, I mean just within the last few days I've learned so much it's ridiculous.

Learning that sometimes u just have to 'Let Go', u know.  Ah, let's see, I learned that it's gonna take a really special person to be by my side.  The standards have be defined, and I'm seeing that it is more of the little things that I notice that will be the basis of my dating and love decisions.  Does this person or is this person really down to help others?  Are they always talking about people instead of ideas?  Do they really have an interest in changing the world, cuz if they don't have a feel for that how can they want to change a Galaxy?  I also want somebody who is as real around us, as they are when they 'aren't' around us.  Sometimes I think people act differently with us around, I don't want that dude.  Be you.  I've been thinking about all these dolls that I've been blessed to come around.  Some have boyfriends, which is a subject for another day...this one girl I recall asking her, "What type of music do you listen to?".  And her answer was so precise, it wasn't that standard, "1 in the morning" at the bar type answer, "I listen to everything." No this girl gave me precise genres, artists, the whole she-bangs...I mean sha-bang.  I guess u could tell what was running through my mind as she was telling us this.  It was awesome and refreshing.  I think when u have somebody like myself or other guys and girls who've seen "a lot", u reach a point where u want and need to see and hear something...innovative or different from the norm.  

U just do, like I always have said, if u've grown up all ur life in a field full of naked bunnies, u need to find out what differentiates each bunny from the next.  They're all naked with similar features, so does this one like to hop more, or does this one have to have grass to survive (Watch out for those, drugs can kill!), does one just want to make eggs all day....Which is cool, just know I like mine 'Sunny Side Up'!! If u catch my drift!!...I guess this is the route u have to go through, there aren't any shortcuts and u can't "Choke The Process" as Kobe said, that was a good interview.  I felt like I could relate so much to what he was talking about.  I have a special life, but now we starting to realize that much of everything that has happened has actually turned for our good.  Weird stuff dude...u can sometimes feel rejected, or wonder why do "I" have to go through all this mumbo-jumbo, when if life was really fair...it's part of the molding.  I can't be sitting here thinking about all this, cuz I got stuff to do, but it's been wild.  U change, and u adjust, but u wonder like "W-O-W!" did this just happen...again.  Sometimes u wonder the route, but as time moves on, u realize that it takes each and every "this stinks or this sucky ducky" moment to reach that "Ok, I can handle it" or that "I don't give a fudge" attitude.  That's real talk.

Now things have turned in some ways, indescribable.  Good things take time.  And it's taken us some time to realize that.  When things don't look so peachy and cream, u gotta or u're forced to look within urself.  How bad to u want it.  Do u wanna take it to the next level?  Are u in the right place or the wrong place at the wrong time?  I'm such a...dreamer.  Is believing that anything is possible really worth it, if others don't feel the same way you do?  If u gotta go alone can u handle it?  Are high expectations of being who u wanna be a bad thing? All these things go into ur heart and mind, but that's when the true you comes out.  And all of us are an original.  There's only one "me", so u learn it won't work if u try to be somebody u aren't or if u try to be like everybody else.  The combination of 'you' makes a huge difference in the winds of life.  I always talk about having fun, and I still believe that before all is said and done others will feel the same way.  I used to think that I was ahead of our time.  It's kind of funny cuz now I just think we aren't ahead of our time, but just live in a different time zone.  Some people like living in New York and the Eastern time zone, others prefer the late sunsets of the Pacific.  I prefer the Fun zone.  It's not for everybody, and there are adjustments, but while others may be doing their thang, I think it's suited for a select few.  I know it's suited for us.  Perfectly.  Come rain or shine, or the extended dark nights or hot days...I love it.  And wouldn't live in any other time...Huh...It's our time.

Boy, I kind of miss writing in our diary like we used to.  I remember those long diary entries where we poured out our heart to a computer.  People may have read our stuff, that we don't even know.  So many stories, I shouldn't have told, but...now I'm thinking about this girl, Julia.  She represents so much.  Maybe she's a combination of all the girls of our past  and future.  Beauty outside, the arguments, which I shouldn't have gone off on her the other day.  I know right now she's on the beaches of Brazil, I can tell you right now, she eating an half a bagel, with Tropicana 50 Orange Juice with a small bowl of granola on the side.  I wouldn't be who I am without her.  I don't even know why I even talk to her, and vice versa.  When u break up in the manner we did, most wouldn't even wanna remain pseudo-friends.  For real.  Perhaps it's something in her that still motivates me....maybe in not having her, just the thought of her pushes me to the next level.  She always says I'm the ultra-competitor when it comes to life and love.  She knows me...and I know her.  Relax Austino.  It's over.  Move on.  I guess she represents so much of my past, that she now defines my future.  Let me say that again...she represents so much of my past, that she now defines my future. 

Huh.

Well, enough of me just sitting around here thinking and talking to myself.  I got stuff to do.  I gotta hit up Target for some buns and trail mix and some wheat pasta.  Gotta wash the ride.  Also wanna go up to the Plantation and Fort Lauder...

(Beep...Beep)

This is what I'm talking about.  This girl...

"We need 2 talk. Ur Babe. Angelica."

I guess she can't let go.  But today is start of something new and the very first day that I've realized...

I have.

A.G.

Assignment: A Night With The Boss

On the last emotional episode of The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia...

'I'm back...me friend..'

"Oh, it's you."

'Calls him.'

"Ok.  Here goes..."

'I've created something that's so much bigger than ourself.  You feel like you should be done paying the dues needed for success, and you sometimes just get fed up with having to wait...'

"...In life you have to pay the ultimate price for the ultimate prize."

'I don't believe I'm hearing this right now.  Not from this Brazilian girl who...'

"The thing this guy doesn't know is that I know him better than he knows himself..."

'You sounds like you's have...a plan.'

"You have no idea....and neither does he."

And now tonight's anticipated premiere episode...Enjoy!


And today was another hot and unseasonably humid day here in South Florida...

(Click!)

No, you're wrong.  Manny Pacquiao should not have even thought about fighting Marqu...

(Click!)

And you can catch Dicaprio in his new flick Django Unchained on this upcoming Christmas Day.

(Click!)

We caught up with DJ Khaled on his new jam, "Models and Bottles".

(Click!)

There just ain't nothing on TV nowadays, I tell ya.  You work hard all day, wanting to just come home and kick off your shoes so your puppies can relax, and there ain't...I remember the good ol' days when I used to come home to classic family TV shows and when the news was about something good.  Now all I can catch is sum booty action and who got shot, and which public officer got arrested for this and that...I think I need to cut my cable, it just ain't worth it anymore.  Other than watching the NBA League Pass, and my Cooking channel, ain't nothing going on in the boob tube.  It used to be a time where I didn't even have to pay for that but now I can't get Cinemax on the black box hookup that my friend's friend used to do.  So now I'm stuck like Chuck.  Oh well, all this talking to myself.  Maybe I need to get some work done.

You know what I'm gonna do some homework on this Galaxia guy, u can' never work too hard.  I'm sure Julia and Yammi are on the case down in Florida, well at least Julia.  As for Yammi, he just wants to party and see if he can bump into a Real Housewife of Miami cast member at a benefit party.  This guy...Love him or hate him, he never stops loving the ladies or having fun.  Reminds me a lot of myself back in the day.   I was always The Boss, but back in the day, my worse days were better than many folks' best years.  I RAN... things.  I partied all the time.  Had all the latest in cars, fashion....I once wore a fur coat down in Portugal during the Summer months just so people could see I had that cheese.  The babes I had.  Oh boy!  I left no expense in making sure that those dolls and myself had a grand time.  Steakhouses in New York, the finest Asian joints in San Francisco, I remember eating at The Forge down in Miami Beach in the 80's when u either was a star or a drug dealer just get inside the coat room.   I had my own table there with wine waiting.  It was the good old days of me just jetsetting and enjoying life.  That's what attracts me to this Galaxia fellow.  Seems like this world is missing something or someone to just help take it up a notch and really help and show people what fun and more importantly what dreams are made of.

Alright, let me cut on my computer.  Let me see...w-w-w...dot...a-u-s-t-i-n-o...glaxia....dotcom.   Boy I love these new computers.  You know what let me put on some music, and dig into this guy...Looking through my albums...how about some...Steely Dan.  Oh yeah!  Gimmie some 'Black Cow' and this party is gonna be happening.   (Phew!)  These turntables are dusty...now it's on..."I don't care anymore...how you run around", see this is real music.  Let me go to the fridge and get me a cold RC Cola, let me see do I have any more twinkies left.  I can't believe these guys are going outta business, I just may have to hit up the Piggly Wiggly down the street and just buy up every hostess product just to save them. (Pop!)  Ah....yeah, that RC is gravy, now let me take a seat and study this guy.

(Bur-ringgg....Bur-ringgg!)

Was that the phone?

(Bur-ringgg...Bur-ringgg!)

Boss speaking.

"Hey Boss, what's ah...going on?"

'Yammi!  I haven't heard from you since you returned from Paris, what's happening pal!'

"Well...ah Boss it was a fan-tas-stick trip.  No jail time for...ah me.  Now I'm back in la Miami.  And am about to go out tonight.  Zhat Art Basel wore me out...zhe exhibits...zhe parties...all zhe questions of ah, "Is Yammi yours reals name?"  WHY OF COURSE, I'M ZHE GREAT YAMMI!  ZHE CONQUISTADOR OF...."

'Have you been drinking again?  I told you about all this pre-game activity before you hit the town.'

"But ah...Boss, me no drink.  Just excited.  I met Bunny zhis ah...weekend.  Now she wants to hop on over and lay..."

'Too much.  What about this Galaxia guy....anything new?'

"Boss, he's been all over zhe ah...place.  I'll get into that in a mo-mento...ha ha!"

'What's so funny?'

"No Boss, it's just zhat zhis week...end, I met zhis beauty at ah...Nikki Beach...and we joked about my Spanish, and I told her zhat was all I knew...and she laughed and then she said she knew some french...and next thing I know it our tongues touched and..."

'Can we get back to Galaxia.'

"Oh.  But ah...Boss.  Julia and um...Galaxia had an argument zhe other day.  A big blowup.  Zhey reminded me of zhat show where zhey fight..."

'U talking about Jerry Springer?'

"No...Zhat show...where..."

'How about Cheaters?'

"No..."

'Basketball Wives LA?"

"Ah...Who??  Anyways, now Julia is all upset, and she's all in with digging up, and telling everything she knows about Galaxia.  She's hot Boss... figuratively and literally.  Boss, is zhat Steely Dan in zhe background.  Are you expecting some..."

'I don't know what you're talking about.  So what's been up with this guy Austino?'

"He's been all over zhe place.  Likes he knows we're on to him.  He went up North to zhis Pembroke Pines, but he took zhis ah...weird route.  Kind of scary to take zhose back of a roads, but...Saw him buying zhis toy of zhe Riddler."

'From Batman?'

"Yeah, I don't know how he got it.  It's a rare figure and... ah...difficulty to find.  He also got some CDs that he's been looking for.  According to Julia, she thinks he really was just trying to get some music to ah...throw an 80s party.  She said he's always wanted to throw one, so we shall see."

'Interesting.'

"Hold on Boss...(Would you like more water Sir?)...Alright, where was I?"

'Exactly, where are you at?'

"On zhe pool relaxing before zhe night begins. Oh...Oh  Boss."

'What is it??'

"Remember when I zold you awhile ago about zhat ah...girl."

'Which one?'

"Ah...zhat Manu Ginobilli things..."

'Yes.'

"Well, I saw her and Galaxia really ah...socializing on today.  It was really a nice vibe."

'So...'

"Julia keeps telling me not to read anything into it.  But I thought zhey wouldn't talk again.  Now it's like...And he's also been talking to a few other girls zhat I have a feeling he might be writing about really soon.  At least I would."

'That's nothing new, he says that nobody has seen or been in contact with more beautiful and cool women than him.  So what's your next move?'

"Well...we thought he was going to this concert on Friday, but those plans have been cancelled.  Julia thinks zhat means he's going out and going to be doing something bigger and more fun.  Our angel says he's tough to reads cuz he goes with zhe day...it coulds be ah...washing zhe-car or a flick... Recently he decided to ah...stay in zhe moment."

'You guys dig up something...he's all over the place down there so...go back to his apartment.  I need a scoop.  Can u do that for me Yammi?!  Time is getting short before...'

"I knows Boss....we'll be on it."

'I gotta get back to my project here.  Stay outta trouble tonight, will you please?'

"Boss you have's my word.  I'll do anything zhat you..."

(Click.)

Now.  Getting back to this diary of Galaxia.  How about I start at the very beginning...April of last year is a long time ago...I know things have change, maybe I could find something that would...

(Bur-ringgg...Bur-ringgg!)

Who can be calling me at...

(Bur-ringg...Bur-rin...)

Yeah?

"Boss...it's Julia."

Julia...Are you Ok?

"I'm about to spill some stuff about your subject that will help you with your investigations of sorts.  Is it ok, that I tell you everything..."

'Everything.'

"Boss...Get ready...You have no idea what I'm about to tell you."

'Oh Really...'

'Really.  See...Pooh or Austino as you call him...he's....'

A.G.

Assignment: Love and War

Previously on The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia...Click Here...

And now tonight's latest installment...Enjoy!


(Knock...Knock...Knock)

(Knock...Knock...Knock)

"Coming..."

(Door Opens)

'I'm back...me friend..'

"Oh, it's you."

'Ah...Yes...Zhe Great Yammi at yours ser-vi...cio.  How have's you been since we've last...ah...chatted.'

"Been alright...(Yawn!)...just been trying to clear our mind a little bit.  So what happened with your court thingy over in Paris?"

'Ha...zhe Judge ah...threw zhe case out of zhe courts.  He said that zhe girl was ah...I guess zhere wasn't enough evidence against me.  I a tolds him that I didn't force anythings zhat 4th of July night, but...zhese girls can't resist zhe..'

"I know...I know...The Great Yammi, right?!"

'Yes.  I have what ah...zhe rap-per Nelly says...ah...zhat Pimp Juice.'

"Whatever....so a lot of stuff has gone on since you've been away in regards to my boo..."

'Ah...Who?'

"I mean Sir Galaxia.  Sorry...I did a little research on Galaxia's website.  He hasn't written in a few days, and I know that when that happens, just from knowing him that means that he's not only been busy, but has had a lot of things on his mind."

'U mean like in Who's gonna win zhe Heisman?'

"The What?...No...So I know that whenever he has things on his mind he only goes to one place..."

'A Snow Party at ah...Alexander's house?  Tell him to ah...use zhe back door when zhe coppers show.'

"Where do u come up with this stuff?  No, stupid, he goes to a music store to clear his mind.  So the other day, I sent one of my friends, to scope out this Spec's Music place, that's going outta business.  Music for cheap, will guarantee a cameo appearance by Austino."

'Ah...Go on...'

"So the subject did show up, my girl was hanging out by the record area while watching him do some shopping.  But according to her, he really didn't go into his usual 'buy the bar' routine, only settling on two items and left.  Kind of strange."

'Huh.  It is, just by me sneaking around his place before I left, I could tell  zhat he's a recovering shopaholic.  He should be on zhat show MTV ah...True...True....'

"MTV's True Life."

'Yes!'

"Well, he claims he's a funaholic now but I know it's still in him.  Something's wrong, I just sense it."

'Why don't you just call him?  Ask him what's up...ask him is he ok...ask him if I can get a visitior's parking pass for zhis South Beach.  Me tired of parking in zhe Parking Garage at zhis Fresh Market, and walking 2 miles.'

"I just might...you don't think it'll be too much.  I know he's about to be out and about, so...."

'Calls him.'

"Ok.  Here goes..."

(You're Like My Favorite song...Just Wanna Turn You On and Rock You all Night Long...Cuz I....I...Just Wanna Be Your Man...You're Like My...)

'Hello.'

"What's up, Babe!"

'Oh, I'm so glad to here from you doll.  It's been one of those days.'

"What's up?"

'It seemed like nothing went right on today. I tried to do this video thing for my website via YouTube and...'

"Wait!  You're back on YouTube?!!  Pooh it's been like ages since that's happened.  Like the whole world has changed.  I think the last time you did that we were togeth...yeah...continue."

'Yeah, girl.  But we were doing that for like 3 hours messing around with our computer that's been acting up. While dealing with that, I didn't even go shopping like I wanted to.  I had plans to..'

"Told You."  (Whisper Voice)

'Huh?  Did you say something?'

"Nuh-uh."

'But in doing that I couldn't even go shopping for music or get up North to Fort Lauderdale like I wanted to. That got me heated...Then I began to think about all the complexities of life, and why this and this is happening...or why does it just have to be so hard.'

"Babe.  I told you that sometimes it just doesn't happen as fast as you like it too.  I was watching the Lakers/Thunder game last night and the commentator Jeff Van Gundy said that as well.  You just have to remain patient and everything will work itself out."

'You always said that, but when does enough become enough.  Sometimes I just feel like everything is on me, you know.  Like perhaps I've created something that's so much bigger than ourself.  You feel like you should be done paying the dues needed for success, and you sometimes just get fed up with having to wait or having to bite your tougue when you feel like u should be doin' the fool...'

"Or at least The Dougie."

'Julia...I'm not joking.  It's serious.  Sometimes I think people get bored with excellence or with the same old same old, maybe I should just change everything about me and just fit in like everybody else instead of talking about having fun and showing love.  It's not easy...It's not fuc...'

"Watch ur mouth, Babe.  Listen....u recall all those tough times I had when we were together, and how you kept me motivated when I didn't get the gig or the cover of a magazine or when they didn't like me just because I was what they said, "too curvy"...u remember what u told me."

(Silence.)

"Well, you told me that sometimes in life you have to pay the ultimate price for the ultimate prize.  I had a hard time understanding that.  It does seem like it's never gonna end and that there's no Lucky Charms at the end of the rainbow, but if u hang in there, there is."

'But when is enough...enough.  I've been through, I feel like everything...Like...sometimes I just feel like I've done all that I can do, and that it's not fair that I have to go through this route when I feel like others are doing whatever they want to do, and getting their's.  Isn't it time, Julia, for us to get ours??'

"First off, relax.  I know you've been working trying to do the right things and stuff, just believe that all the hard work, and the attitude of having fun and being different will pay off.  I think u told me that being different is sexy...right?"

'If it's so sexy, then why did you break up with me?'

"I...I...."

'See this is tha thing...actions speak so much louder than words.  I was thinking the other day about how many girls I have had episodes with.  And all the complexities that have surrounded those relationships.  Whether it was folks who just got divorced...Religion differences...games being played.  I'm not bitter or anything, even by how you left me, but sometimes when u have a day like we've had on today or as crazy of a week we've had, u just wonder has anything, and I do mean anything been worth it?  Everything's blind faith right now...I get tired of thinking about "tomorrow", I want it right now.  And I think I deserve that.'

"That's the problem with you, and when we were together."

'Wait...Wait...I treated you like a queen.  EVERYTIME we were together, so don't you dare begin to say any trouble when we were dating... Cuz all those trips...all those Louis bags, the same brown and tan things, how many did you buy?  Huh...that's what I figu...'

"What u have to understand is that this world or galaxy or whatever doesn't revolve around you all the time.  U don't realize what's going on...you have it good.  U do basically whatever you wanna do.  You live in South Beach, one of the ultimate and hottest zip codes on Earth, I mean, so what if this happened or some girls did you wrong.  You have to move on, and not get so down, just because everybody...Everybody isn't gonna like you.  Your time will come.  In regards to our relationship...I got tired of all the stories I heard about your past love life.  I know you had to tell them, but I felt like you didn't give me any respect.  You never mentioned me in any of your diary posts, it was all this Argentinean girl or this woman who was married...a girlfriend can only be put up with so much of being disrespected."

'I don't believe I'm hearing this right now.  Not from this Brazilian girl who...'

"I think you need to watch yourself before you say something you might regret..."

'I know I'm not hearing this from somebody who messed with every photographer who shot her.'

"Babe..."

'I know I'm not hearing this from a girl...and I do mean... girl, who once went over to a well-known actor's house with his wife inside.'

"You know what...."

'I know I'm not hearing from a girl who slept with...'

(Click.)


'So...how's it go?'

"I can't stand him...I CAN'T STAND HIM!!"

'Wha...?'

"He thinks he's the only one who's going through something.  He thinks he's the only one who had their heart broken.  It's like he's owed something.  (Huge Blow)  This is what you have to understand when dealing with people like this.  When you've seen as much as he has, it's almost as if these people of success thrive on challenges.  They embrace this sort of 'underdog' role when they are really the chased and not the chaser."

'I don'ts under-stands...is zhis some kind of Dr. Phil talk?'

"No, Yammi.  It's just that, when you have gone through the struggles, u realize that the challenges have made you better."

'Yeah, but I don't underst...'

"So, once you reach a certain success you make up all these things to put you back in the mindset of what go you to the moutain in the first place. It's like you've won the Powerball, got the winning ticket in your hand, but you are still waiting at the gas station wanting to buy 20 tickets."

'Zhat's ah...true.'

"I've dated so many men like him, but he just continues to think that the world is against him.  Or that the laws of life have him in a corner when he's really in a better place than he thinks.  I think that if he really got the bank account or if he were to meet the girl he wanted to in the past, we wouldn't see the man we see right now.  It's like he wouldn't have survived cuz that feeling of being cursed was actually the feeling of being gifted.  Many of us have that go on within us...but when u deal with Galaxia, it's a whole nother level."

'And you look good too.  There is a God!'

"Shut up, Yammi!  The thing this guy doesn't know is that I know him better than he knows himself.  I know what turns him on...what makes him tick...what to wear and say...and now I'm gonna make him pay for treating me like he did on today.  He's created something he can't handle, and I'm gonna exposed him for who he truly is, and not what he thinks he is."

'So what do you have in mind?'

"Yammi...meet me downstairs in the lobby, we're gonna go get some breakfast and...talk."

'You sounds like you's have...a plan.'

"You have no idea....and neither does he."

A.G.