And now today's newest episode...Enjoy!
"We've been in this Aston now for 3 hours and he hasn't come out yet. Are you sure that ur source told him that he was gonna be leaving, I mean any time soon? I mean Yammi...seriously?"
'Ah...me Julia. Be ah...pay-sent. Zhis Galaxia will be out in a few minutes.'
"Yammi, I've missed my spa appointment and my Yoga class, and if he doesn't come out in a few, I promise you I have to go and get ready for tonight."
'You's saids...Ah.."Tonight?"'
"Duh?! My girl from Sao Paulo is flying in this afternoon. And we're gonna hit up tha town and interact a little bit."
'U South American girls...Canadian girls are so much ah...simple. Fireplace with a fire. Ah...marsh...mellows. Hot cho-ko-let...But you...No...No....No...Party. Louis Vuitton. Party. Beach. Party. U knows...life is much a mores.'
"Yammi, u sure think u know a lot about us mamacitas, have you ever dated one?"
'Que? 1998. Ah...I was in Puerto Rico doing a jobs for a client. Me never forget her. Her names was ah....Ginger Ale.'
"Like tha drink."
'Believe u ah...Julia. Just like. But better. She approached me around a Midnite. A beautiful dancer.'
"And...."
'I don'ts like to talks about zhis but...she tolds me zhat she wanted me to...to....'
"To do what Yammi? Spit it out!"
'She wanted me to lick her on zhe tip of her...nose. Like some kind of...she said she saw it on a novela once and ever since then ah...it's her thang.'
"But ur supposed to be a playboy right? So what did u do?"
'Oh...I did zhe deed!...but after she caught a cold, and when she was ah...sicky. She would still ask me to do it, on how it would make her feel ah bet-ter. But I don't do sniffles. Maybe a cougher, although zhat's a little awkward to be ah...having someone ah...coughing during...'
"Ok. Too much. Too much. Your nuts...(Ha ha!). Yammi, don't you wish love was simple."
'Yeah. Galaxia once wrote about zhat very thang...it's part of zhe jour-ney.'
"I just wish...wait...wait. There he is. Oh...he got new glasses huh. He didn't have those when were..."
'Ah...Playing naked footsy.'
"Ok...A little mohawk...Blue v-neck tee....white and green shorts...I bought him those Creative Rec's he's wearing. But he's not wearing no wrist bracelets."
'Ah...somebody told him not to wear them anymore. It happened right before he ah..voted.'
"Whatever. Alright. He's gone. U ready to go up in here to see what's poppin' pimp?!"
'Ju-lee-ah....I thought u were's a lady. U sound likes zhe west side of Vancouver....I likes...I likes...I remember zhis South African beauty who showed me her tat....'
"Later, Yammi. Let's go inside zhis place and see what he's been up to."
(Car Doors Slam!)
'Ah....me ice picks in zhe car.'
"No need. I still have a key."
'Whah...'
"I used to spend the night all the time when I was in town. After those nights riding on his Vespa...look it's still here. Needs some cleaning though...but after those late nights on the town. He would wake up early to do his thang, and told me to lock up after I left....Who's this guy sitting on the bench?"
'No idea Julia.'
"Alright...Apt. 4. Let's crack this bad boy open...Wow! If this doesn't bring back some memories."
'I just broke in...I means...I...it's not my first time.'
"Let's see. Books of course. Andre Agassi. Austino loved him. That was his favorite tennis player. I know this is a good book."
'I don't like him.'
"Why Yammi?"
'Well...one time...'
"Here we go..."
'No...No...one time during zhe US Open in New York...I was chatting it up with ah...Steffi Graf asking her zhe conversation about zhe beauty of German women, VW's and of course I asked her...What's...'
"...Your sign. I know...I know...so why do u hate Andre."
'He interrupted me. And zold me zhe was his wif-ee. And shoved me in zhe pro...cess. And NO ONE PUSHES ZHE GREAT YAMMI! So as I ran behinds him and...'
"And he has a book by R. Kelly. That's a name...Soulacoaster. Huh."
'I ah...pushed him back. And zhe mayor Giuliani or was it ah...Bloomberg? Anyhows, An-dre Ag-a-ssi knocked over his cup of Zinfandel, and next zhing's I know...'
"I remember when Galaxia used to light zhe candles and would put on zhat 'Bump 'n Grind'. We would talk all night and then...Oh, those were tha days."
'So zhis security guard who looked like a baby...ah...Vin Diesel. He tried to grab me...but I was a Mounty since zhe age of nine. Me more zhan a pretty face. ... So I hits Baby Vin with zhis ah...Billy Banks chop which...'
"YAMMI! SHUT UP AND GET OVER HERE!"
(Silence.)
"Look at this table."
'Julia...he's been ah...shopping. No wonder u dated for so long.'
"Lo que sea! Look at this stuff...a Burberry wallet regular price $265, but current price $19. Where he get this from? All these CDs....Angie Martinez...Craig David...Crystal Waters...The Rembrandts...Backstreet Boys..."
'Who are they?'
"I'm gonna ignore you on that. He always finding these deals, and by this pink shopping bag I know he got them from Out of The Closet off up the street here. And look at this receipt...all of these CDs were...one dollar."
'That's amazing...12 CDs for a dollar. I remember...u ah.. did u have Columbia House in Brazil?'
"How u think I got my Santana collection. I miss going bargain hunting with my Pooh."
'I'm just gonna hop on zhis com-pu-ter to see what Galaxia's been on.'
"Alright. Hey, Yammi. You may not even have to look. Here's some notes he took."
'On a back of a...ah...Capital One Bank envelope.'
"Hey, I gave him my number using the inside palm of his hand, ok. Anything is game with him."
'I do recalls ah...reading about zhat in his di-a-ree. Let me see....U got all zhese ah...nombres....Excercise is...King. Nutrition is Queen. Put them together u gets a kingdom? Huh?...'
"Let me see that. Laugh. Long life. Longevity. Who makes it happen. You. In touch with beauties and opprotunities of each life stage...Expanding Our Horizons. Stop worrying. Chapter's are close, that's that!"
'Oh no! I think Galaxia is about to kill himself. And try to go up in zhe atmosphere. He wants to be ah...comet! Don't do it Galaxia! I'm coming to save you...Don't do it!'
(Bam!)
"Now why did he go running out of here...let me see this thang...u know what. I got it. By the parentheses...how would you like to spell that huh...but it seems that he was watching some kind of movie called How To Live Forever. I actually heard about this. It talked about how to live life to the fullest and
interviewing some of our elders on their thoughts on life. Interesting. Galaxia always said that he never gets old. Calling himself "The Kid" and stuff. I think along the same line. I guess that's why we got along so well.
Everything about this place reminds me of those days of us sneaking around. I didn't need to hide much here in South Beach, cuz celebrities are everywhere. But just looking around...from this mini-camera. I can't believe he still has this. He always and still does have it planted right on the bed. Just ready for an "J" movie film to be produced. Huh...Empty bag of Chocolate Cranberry Crunch from Target, of course. I remember the other day him telling me about walking into the women's bathroom there. He says by mistake but...knowing his goofy self he probably did it on purpose.
Wow. Looks like he's finally got Wi-fi now in his place. He always talked about it. That's good for him. Christmas card from Billy and Amy. WHAT?! They got another baby? Camden. Where have I been for real. He loves his college friends so much. The Dynasty. Oh, if people could hear the stories he's told me about his days living in "the party dorm" of Olson. People just don't know how much fun he's had...
Look at this. A notebook filled with stuff from his diary. Oh, this is special. It has a list of every single person he asked to participate when he first got started. All these names. Wonder why nobody did. I guess it was meant for him to do it from a personal perspective. It worked out well...very well. This is wild. It has every music playlist he's ever done. These are so good. He should be a DJ for real. A list for the Top 100 Sexy Bea...Oh, yeah. I saw this. It was on Fuse TV the other day. He's writing down all 100? I bet he can't guess what's number one though? I know...Ha ha! Here's another list. Oh my. Bank. Restaurants. Art Basel. Heat Games. Apple Iphone. He's getting ready for next year. Incognito and Sheila E. in New York City...Yep. He's never been to New York, always talking about LA this, LA that....I think he'll like it. Other girls have told him this too. Whatever.
I miss these days and nights in here. Laying in his bed with nothing but my Fredrick's of Hollywood's on. Just the bottoms, as he preferred. Me and him dancing in front of the TV trying to perfect dance moves from music videos...Him holding his basketball all the time. I told him to have it in his hands when he does those videos for his diary cuz I knew it would make him more comfy. Just so much. Maybe I should try to make it work again. I think we look so good together. So sexy. He says it doesn't matter how u look with somebody, but I know it does. After all he's been through. He wants nothing but the best. I fit. Why did we have to breaku..."
(Beep-Beep!)
"What's this? A Text from Yammi:"
He's cuming...Right Now.
"Son of a... Where can I hide in this place? Bed...Too small for me, I told him girls like me need some....Kitchen, he'll see me...He really stocked up on those Del Monte veggies. They must've been on sale. Still No Salt Added...Oh...Where?...Where?...."
(Click, Click!)
"Fudge."
A.G.
"
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