Wow! This Jaime Foxx interview with Oprah is so good. Him talking about love and...
Naw...I can't do that one.
Huh.
These folks down here in Miami...Uggh...Today I wished I could've not dealt with anybody especially...
Nope! Sounds too degrading...
Being a leader is something that's so easier said than to do...and right now I'm going through some serious training in beco...
Nobody wants to hear about my responsibilities when I already have a dream life...
I'm stuck. I don't know what to write about...I don't know.
Oh well...I guess I should just close up this Sony Vaio and just let tonight be.
Unless...
Should we do it just for old times sake. We talk too much about Fun...and Love...and sometimes Sex...What if I just spoke or wrote without anything holding me back. I mean for one night, just let it all go. We write from our heart a lot, really too much, but what if u got me to tha nth degree...Or instead of me, what if u got...
(Whistle...Whistle)
We taping this right now. Alright. Well, Hello, you have no idea who I am, by tha look on your face. And that's fine...that's quite alright. Perhaps I'll introduce myself later...or perhaps I won't. But somehow and someway, I've let you into my house. This is something that I don't or won't ever do again, but...for this occasion, I feel like it's necessary. See I've been secretly working on a project. Nobody knows what I've been doing. Not my kid...Not my wife...Not my girlfriend. Shhh...U're never too old to hit an home run! (Wink!) But I'm just a man of age now, and I thought I had nothing to live for anymore. I've already become one of the most unknown yet known people in the world. Some people hear from me when they're young, while others, not so. Lately, I've been in tha background a lot. This world, I tell ya, I wonder if anybody is worth me stopping by to introduce myself. I usually come when people least expect to hear from me, some look out every day for my arrival, while others just happen to be around when I'm in tha area. Well, who am I? Not yet, my friend...not yet.
Although, I've been around tha rodeo a time or two, that doesn't stop people for trying to figure me out. Putting me in formulas...Or trying so hard to control their life, as if that's the alluring factor it's gonna take for my arrival. Ha! If only they knew...When that happens I like to toy around and delay, just so that they realize that I can't be bought or forced to move. I may not move as fast as I once did, and I may have to have a walking cane, but I can still get to where I need to be. Which is why u are following me with that dumb camera right now. I tell you when I visited Thomas Edison and gave him the go ahead with tha light bulb, I had no idea, it would come back to haunt me. GET THAT THANG OUTTA MY FACE YOU BAFONE!
(Ziiipp!)
Now that's better. Follow me, we're gonna go upstairs to my attic. And bring ur stupid camera, but keep tha light off. U hear me Sonny?! Good. Bear with me...Ah...Ah...This hip surgery several years ago really...They can take my marrow, but they can't take my soul. Alright...Just help me with tha first step...Alright, I'm good. I got my cane, so I should be fine. Let me see...
Left foot. Plant.
Ah...Right foot. Plant.
Left foot...C'mon baby....Plant.
Right foot. Plant.
Just a few more...
Left foot. Plant.
Right...foot. Ouch. Plant.
Help me Son...Left...foot. Almost there...Plant.
Help me with my right leg...No, No! Don't pick it up...just....help...
(Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Splat!)
Now look what you did, you done made my Jordan shoe fall all tha way back down. Now I have to act like that guy from tha...tha...tha...who was that country kid who shot tha three pointer with one shoe on, in tha Finals this year? ("Mike Miller.") Yeah...Yeah...Now I have to Nicole Miller it...("Mike! Mike!") Huh. ("His name is Mike.") Well that's what I said. Anyways, just push me up would ya, before my bunion bursts on these hea steps.
Right foot. Plant.
We there. Now...might as well take off my other shoe. Would u do the honors? ("I'm here to take video, and now I'm taking off this geezer's shoe.") Excuse Me, did you say something shorty, huh?! Boy, if you only knew me back in tha day. When I had my running buddy, Ooh Wee, I woulda done knocked u into next year! Or perhaps even last year! I can do that ya know. Yeah, me and my partner, we used to fight, and put people in their place. All this stuff you see on that...what's that talk show they be fighting on? ("Maury") No, the other one...("Jerry Springer")...No, tha one with the pretty Spanish woman with the short blond hair...("Cristina.") Yeah, those fights that break out on Christina Aguilera's show, is nothing to how me and my partner used to knock teeth out. He used to dress all proper, and stuff, so we nicknamed him "Prep" cuz he dressed all preppy and stuff. Smart guy, but he could throw them fists. You put us two together and boy...u got something.
So let me go to this dresser...'Knock, Knock, Knock'. This is some good wood. This is where I keep tha info. All these binders, and appointments that I must keep or my boss will be on me faster than an Army Wife at the airport. Timing is everything in regards to my life. A missed flight here, or just me showing up a minute late would throw my whole purpose off. But just like my good friend Cupid, I decided to take a serious, and Son, I do mean serious, break. It's like I'm not appreciated anymore. People think that they can do everything by themselves. I talked to my friend "Prep" the other day about this very thang, and he agreed. These jabroni's nowadays think they have Success all in the palm of their hand. I felt one day they are gonna need me, they will. That time is now, but I only show up for the selected few. Look at these notes...I mean, people think I just show up out of tha blue, but as you can see, I carefully study who I'm gonna help. I study people for years. Alright Son, I need for you to cut off tha camera for what I'm gonna show u next. (Click.) Thanks.
Here is where I keep some of the...Ah...Heavy hitters in history. See it's not just pure coincedence when some people hit it big. I watch those who hang in there, who don't give up, and who are willing to pay their dues. Once I look at their notebooks, and files of all they have to go through before I show up, then and only the..("U keep track of everybody?") I used to. Not so much anymore. See, in life Son, there is a process. Certain trials....Certain relationships...U have to go through something before you get to me. See, I'm like that guy in tha back of tha disco club who...("What's Disco?") Say Whahh? Two words, Son...Gloria Gaynor. One time at 54th Studio in The City, I wanted for Liza Minnelli all night because I wanted to give her a play that I thought she was worthy off, but she never came out. I think she was hanging with Andy Warhol all night. ("Who?") Oh my Goodness, what do you kids do for fun, nowadays. Don't you dance, or draw or do you all just play with your Slinky all night? ("What's a Slink..") Hush! Just hope you guys make it, knock on wood, ('Knock, Knock, Knock!), cuz I think u might need my help sooner than u think.
Let me take a sit over here on this Sofa Chair. Thank goodness, I had the chance to meet Edwin Shoemaker, he saved me and a who lotta people's lives. Pass me my IPad over there. ("IPad??") Yes, I gave Steve Jobs the opening for developing it, so he in return sent me a free Limited Edition version. I'm still kind of foreign to operating this thang, so I don't have my flies all on here. Matter of fact there is only one person, listed on here. Steve, knew of my decade or so long quest or investigation, so I told him to Pre-Program it with only one person in mind. The reason that you're here I presume. ('Beep-Beep') Oh, Darn, that's my 2-Way pager, can you pass it over to me Son. What does this say?...
'Thanx 4 tha Ironman Script. Never woulda dreamed. I needed it. RDJr.'
Huh. He deserved it. Here take this, Kid.
("Wow, Sir. U have a lot of old messages in here. Let's see...'SI cover. U rock! Thanks. Tyra.'...'Thinking about "She Bangs" for tomorrow's audition, wht do u think?...William Hung'.....'I'm gonna announce and make it official, but I still need you. Barack.'...'Can u really have a show about nothing? I believe, but can u talk to Larry? Jerry S.'....'I needed 2007 more than u think. U took my life to a whole new level. Thanx my Alien friend. Lil Weezy.' It's like u were in tha middle of everybody's life.)
I am. I am. Austino Galaxia. Born on October 30th...Huh. I just noticed that his birth year is blank. ("Sir, he considers himself to be ageless.") Ageless?...Who does he consider himself to be Ponce De Leon? Ageless my...("Well, Sir he did write in his diary once that he was like Ponce De La Galaxia or something.") From now on just run tha film, and shut ur trap! I know what he wrote...Let's see....Central School...Edgewood School...Perfect Attendance...Yada Yada Yada...Spent embarrassing day in In-House...Ah...Not recognized for being Preseason Honorable Mention All-State in basketball...Check...What else?...Doesn't attend Prom...Alright...Gets into car accident with his Geo Metro week of graduation...Gets another Chevy Metro...That alone is worth two checks, let's see...Son, pass me that glass of Tang would you.
Scrolling down...Walks into Ford Modeling Agency, literally, but "not hiring" is tha word of tha day...Ah...William Morris sends second rejection letter in the mail...Gives last dime to homeless...Don't know if I woulda done that but...Check...Attends all his partner's weddings, before has serious girl...Check...Sexy European stylist blows him off for Janet Jackson concert...Alright, that's enough. So this is tha reason why u're here. I guess this is some kind of me coming out of retirement, one last time. It's amazing how many of us, feel its worth visiting this guy. 'Prep' told me the old fella Casanova was over at his place tha other day, which is wild cuz I thought he was dead. Now it's my turn. Let me put on a tie for this event..
("Sir, how do I get you to meet or help me?")
Well, Son, I don't do it as much as I used to, I mean, just show up to people's home. I'm more selective, but if I could say one thing to guarantee my visit. That would be, to be patient...Let every thang flow, like don't look for me, I'll come when I'll come. Some people think they can "make" me. That's controversial, but I think the best time I arrive is unexpected. That could be at a party, or in class or wherever. U never know. I usually appear specifically to people who are busy. Not just sitting still. Some may have one plan for their life, but sometimes when I roll up with my papers in hand, all that goes out tha window. From there it's there choice to "Take it or leave it." For those who have toiled years on in, I have even something more special for them, because they have learned the toughest lessons in regards to jobs, or money, fame or even love. Those people receive my ultra-proposal. The best I got. How does my tie look? ("Great!") Good. Let's go...Oh, before I go, there's one more thang. See, I haven't done this in awhile, and this may be my last time, I want to do something special for this Galaxia guy.
("Well, how do you usually go about it?")
The last several years, I kind of just appeared or happened. But he's big-time, so he wants...it's almost like when a guy proposes to his fiancee...He has to get down on one knee. I know he's been expecting me, recently he's taken this "Zen" philosophy of letting life happen, and I guess it's worked. How about I do something I haven't done in awhile...Only a few have heard me do this. Mandela. Charles Schulz...to name a few.
("How about u actually introduce urself? U've never done that either?)
Alright. Let me see if I still have tha sound down...
"Knock!Knock!Knock!"
("Go Slower.")
"Knock..Knock..Knock!"
("Perfect. And introduce urself.")
But...
("Come on...I'll even let u do a trial run on camera. Put ur all into it.")
Alright...Just like we used to do..
"Knock...Knock...Knock"...Hello, Sir Galaxia, you don't...Cut it, I can't do this...
("Just think he's been waiting all his life to hear from you. U can do it.")
(Huge Sigh.)
"Knock...Knock...Knock." What's going on Austino Galaxia. I've been following you for some time now, and have seen many of the ups and down's in ur life. I believe now is the perfect time for us to meet. I just wanted to give you this small scroll of paper, in it holds the key to ur future. U can choose to accept it, or you can choose not to. Either way, I feel like you have endured the tests of time, and now is the time to reveal urself to not only the rest of the world, but the rest of the Galaxy as well. Your best days are now upon you and my friend 'Prep' says that u are now ready. Do not run with it, but hold on to it, and share with others, for it's all yours in the name of your now friends...Fun and Love. Thank you and have a nice day..."
("Psst...Pssst...And....And...")
And What? (Whispering)
("You forgot to introduce urself...")
Oh...By the way...my friends call me "O.T. Dubs"....but for you, and only you would I let call me by my full given name...
Mr. Opera Twounity Willnock.
("And....Cut.")
A.Galaxia.
Bye with Kisses!
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