I have no idea why this thang...Anyway. Alright, tonight is a bonus post of sorts. We usually don't write on back-to-back days, but u never know what u're gonna get from us. So here we go...
Alrighty now...What to jot down on tonight...Hummm?
Somebody told me tha other day that I'm kind of mysterious I guess. Where do they get that I have no idea, I mean just because I love taken back routes on tha road, and love to come in through back doors doesn't make me...Let me repeat that for tha Ladies..."I love to come in through the back door." Oh, I hope Moms and Pops aren't gonna read this, cuz I'm starting to feel tha freakiness in tha air. No gimmicks, let's just be real about a few things.
Seemingly our life is hitting new levels on a lot of fronts. Just weird, like the taste of Play-Doh, the more u chew on it, the more u begin to like it. And we hope our stomach doesn't hurt afterwards. Down here in South Beach, I tell ya, it's like "tha spot". I always believe that u can tell how much South Beach is in terms of it's "Global Hotness" by the amount of people are down here during tha Summer months. This year has been quite packed. That just shows me that this is where everybody wants to be. And Dos, I might need to take a Paint stencil kit around with me, so I can outline a parking space for me, wherever I go! Could u imagine bro, like me on a date with...almost called her name, but not yet...but us two like on Lincoln Road looking for a spot to park, and she's like, "Honey, there ain't nowhere to park." Then all of a sudden I pull over right next to tha movie theater, hop out my ride, pop tha trunk, grab my paint by numbers kit, and the next thing u hear is that paint can going..."Nuck-Nuck-Nuck...Sissssssss.....Sisssssss....Sisssssss!" And of course, with tha kit, I'll have a sign to post that says "Parking for Head Only", which will soon be follow by a nod over to my date, meaning, "U know what that means!" We on it tonight ain't we!...Why? Cuz "I'ma be a freak until tha day...until tha dawn!!"
Life is about having fun. I know people who know me, or even read this silly diary of ours are tired of us saying that, but...I'm just a goofy kid. Ain't concerned about money...or material things...I got those things, it's all about having fun. Speaking of which, how far are you willing to go just to remain or keep ur status in terms of money or how u look physically? Come on, this is Miami, I know I'm not tha only one who goes through great lengths...Like are u willing to eat Sweet Peas for five straight days just so that u can get ur shopping spree on this weekend? Or how many people went to like four 7-11's today to get their Free Slushy on, just so that they can spend that dinner money later on one drink at tha club. "Gurl...u better save that money on those rice cakes, 7-11 got Free Slushy's tonight, and u can use that money later on for a Fuzzy Navel." I know for me, it's becoming an epidemic. Like I be thinking, "Let me eat my Trail Mix for lunch, and that $1.35 will go a long way to this cologne I want." My whole thinking about shopping is jacked up. I be in a store and be like, "They want $35 for this Hugo Boss shirt...but if I wait approximately 2 years, I can get this bad boy at the Salvation Army for like $10. Real talk. Speaking of which...
Alright. My life is wild. The other day, I came across quite possible the oldest or most mature living thief I know. I'm up at my spot in Pembroke Pines, and I'm searching through the CD section squatting down Jose Pasada style, and this guy is next to my left. I hear all these weird noises. Very hard panting, as he was breathing. I began to get concerned, because for one I don't do CPR on guys, only girls...and I don't know if he's gonna try to pull a fast one on Tha Kid, so one of his boys can get that Shabba Ranks from under my nose. Either way that's a tough choice, save a life or get a CD u want for $1. Glad it didn't come to that cuz Jordan Knight might've won out. So homedude is panting hard, and his lower half is right next to my face. Next thing I know it, I literally see homeguy feeling around his pocket area, and then slickly put a CD into his pocket. My mind went blank, and all I heard was, "Oh No! Not like this.", kind of similar to the crowd's response when Penny (Janet Jackson) stole that necklace at that expensive jewelry store on the TV Show Good Times. I was in shock...Then before I could get myself together, he huff'd and puff'd some more, and put another one in his left pocket. Whahh? U too old to be thieving and shucking dude. Especially at Salvation Army? WHO STEALS AT THA SALVATION ARMY?!! (Ha ha!) I mean, just think about that, if this guy is stealing in July, just think about when tha Sal Army has those red pans during Christmas time out full of...
I'll be freaking....This just hit us. Tha guy looked like Santa Claus!! I mean, he looked exactly like Santa. So u tell me tha economy is so rough that Santa has to steal from Charity. Oh man. This tops tha Fruit cake. I know one time I was walking in Coral Gables, and I saw a butterfly laying on tha ground, to be honest he looked to be drunk. Keep telling people they don't make Pollen like they used to, but as I witnessed this butterfly "Was-ted!!", all I could think about is that we live in a day and times where even the butterfly's don't wanna fly no more! Miami it too...much!
We got some stories...Here are a few more...
Lately I've just been seeing...I was a Target...Sorry, I'm proud to say I got $2 in my Burberry wallet. Cough, Cough..."The...other eve-ning...I thought it not a crime to visit...Tar-shay...in tha South Aventura area." I saw this one girl walking, she had red hair, and before I could pull out mouth freshener spray, I noticed that she had a tiger outfit on. Folks, I'm not talking about those tiger print ones say of Versace circa 1998...nor am I talking about tha ones that u get at ur local Naughty But Nice stores for around $20, don't ask how I know tha price...But this chick was dressed as not only a tiger, she was dressed up as Tigger from Winnie The Pooh. And she was walking around with items in her hand without a care in tha world like she was rocking the newest Valentino on the red carpet. I almost stepped to her and told her, "Excuse me, but did u know ur dressed up like Tigger." Knowing these 3-0-5 women, she probably would have growled at me.
Once again, speaking of which, I was just thinking about this tha other day...I'm starting to appreciate my Miami women. All races, sizes, and nationalities. And I'll tell you why...Girls and women who were either born here or move down here (It rubs off) are probably the most gangsta yet sophisticated females that I come across. I've never seen more women talk about hanging out on boats, or trading secrets about how to wear Prada shoes, and then literally tha next moment talking about how they are gonna bust somebody up if they don't leave their man alone! It's beautiful to see. I'm into music a lot, and I see like gal dressed up to tha nines like she just stepped off of the cover of Haute Living, I'm thinking this girl is like a Suburban goody two shoes right, but once some old Tupac or some Young Jeezy and Wacka Flocka comes on, she's borderline wobbling it right on tha side of Brickell Avenue! Highly exotic style mixed with a lot of ghetto. Go to a party or get together or club, and u know EXACTLY what I mean. Some guys don't like it, I'm starting to appreciate it more. It's unique.
Anything else...South Beach. Our neighborhood can give u some images that u just can't forget. Like this one guy smoking inside the laundromat, near his baby. Like really...I mean...really. Or I can be just chillin' here in tha crib, watching Devious Maids, which I love, then all of a sudden I can hear, "MOM, SHUT THE (Beep) UP!" There's always something that gets us to shaking our head round and about. Always something...
That's it. A few thoughts that's been on our mind. This is our diary of our life, so u got it straight from tha source.
Until next time.
Cheerio.
Austino.
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