Pau Gasol.

2day our Back is against Tha Wall...Just a Tad.
Have a Big Decision 2 Make in regards 2 if We're Real or Just a Fad.
It's almost Waaayy 2 Early to be sitting in front of this Computer on Our Thinking Pad.
Somehow Our Mind can see our bags packed and jumping into a Wiz Khalifa Colored Cab.

This Diary has...Let's say that we've exposed Ourselves, almost unlike anybody in History.
Who in Their Right Mind would Say all these things...I mean, A Person's Heart and Mind should be a Mystery.
Putting Urself out here...Time after Time...Illustrating How we are Life's Ultimate Dichotomy.
Wanting 2 Live a Simple Life where Luv and Fun reigns...Where everybody Can Be Tha Best They Can Be.

Our Goal was 2 show All Tha Steps U have 2 Go Through...Boy, I didn't know what I was getting into.
Being Super Honest was our goal, leaving no Stone unturned, Wanting to change every mood That was of a Sour Blue.
Did The Best we could to show How This Game of Success unfolds...In many ways sharing Never Discussed Before Clues.
As I Look Back I feel like We've Left Footprints 2 Our Journey, Not wanting U 2 Walk "In" But Beside My Limited Edition Nike Shoes.

I Cringe...Cuz we think...Nobody is doing This...Nobody is Talking as Open as We Do.
I Pray That I could find Some-body who's not so Closet-Minded, and are willing 2 Be Straight Up and at least Give a Piece of Their Mind so I Can Chew.
This Galaxy I Consider 2 Be Special...Almost like a Hanging On Tha Street Dance Crew.
We Share Thangs with Each Other Ultra-Intimate, While Everybody else drives around looking at Us Crazy, While secretly Lessons are being told 2 Make Us Do Somethang New.

In My Heart, and I'm going 2 Be Completely Honest...What U are Reading, U'll Won't See Tha Likes of It Again.
Yeah, Others keep cool Diaries...And Yes, Others speak upon Relationships and Luv...It's Just that I feel like This is Different...Somethang U might not Even Share With Ur Friends.
This is almost like a 'Secret Society', where whoever's involved doesn't want anybody else 2 know they attend Tha Meetings Every Now and Again.
Or Like That Exclusive Club that U Can't find Tha Entrance To...U have 2 Go Through Tha Back Alley, Knock 21 Times, Say 'Luv and Fun', Then Tha Bouncer Will Let U in.

What I, Personally, Have 2 Remember is That...I'm not writing for Show...Might Not Be jotting for The Present Either...But Tha Future.
Cannot be concerned Who or Who Ain't Reading This,  because This actually might be for a Child Unborn, and This Diary, besides Tha Milk Bottle...or Nipple...Could be There Best Nurture.
That's Why No Matter Tha Circumstance, I Have 2 Be Super Open...To Allow Somebody 2 Have A Peace of Mind While They're Going Through Torture.
Cuz Being Yourself, And Striving To Reach Lofty Goals...Ain't Easy...Guess I've Been Tha One Chosen To Spill About Tha Journey, While Being Afraid Nor Hide Behind This Cursor.

One Thang That will Probably Get Somebody 2 Stop Reading This Diary, Is My Constant Mention of Wanting 2 Be Tha Best of 'All-Time' When It Cums To Fun And Luv.
Huh!  That's Tha First Time I spelled Come like That...Kinda Freaky or Pornographic for a Sunday, Ain't It?!!  But we write as somebody Sent from Fun's Orgy...Up In Tha Stars Above.
I'm a Pretty Humble Guy...Too Humble really...But There's a Fire Burning within, and a Lot Has 2 Do With What We've Been Through, So Many Times My Toe I Have Stubbed.
Yet Also Knowing That We Are a Very Unique Sportscar, Limited Edition...Tough Knowing That Ur A 1-of-A-Kind vehicle...But Still haven't been put on Tha Cover of Dub.

Today, I'm learning 2 Let Our Legacy just speak for itself, and not be so Open about This 'Best' Title Name.
It's almost like Walking Into A Joint and not saying a Word...Quiet Sexiness Can Speak Very Loud in This Game.
Tha Point We've Wanted 2 Make is 2 Strive, and Not Just Settle For Tha You 2day...No Matter If Ur Stacking Chalupas, or Have A Celebrity Name.
Constant Improvement is How You Become A Winner...U Can Be Undefeated, but That Don't Mean U Still Can't Improve Ur Game.

Alright...Who Has Ever Kept A Diary???  Hands Up...I See...I See...Now Hands Down.
Usually, If U've written in a Private Diary, You Guard Those Thoughts with Your Soul, Cuz Those are Ur Heart's Crown.
Not Wanting 2 Share 'Who Made Ur Day' or 'What Person U Can't Stand' with Anybody...No Matter if Prince William would 2 Offer U A Million Dollars Worth of Pounds.
U rite Freely...With Tha Thoughts That Nobody would Ever, Ever, Ever read it...Until Ur Married With Kiddos or Perhaps Ur Body is Six Feet Under Tha Ground.

I Have Seen A Lot of Changes In My Life, Since I've "Divulged" (That was said in my Cruella De Vil Voice) Into What Makes Our Galaxy The Greatest Collection of Stars.
It's One Thang When U Say Ur Gonna Buy Out Tha Whiskey Counter...It's Another When U Say That One Day Ur Gonna Own Tha Bar.
One Thang That I've Learned is That Everybody Doesn't Think Like You Do...And Perhaps It's Our Job to Shake Up That Apple Butter Jar.
Cuz U Can Go Through Life Wishing and Hoping Things would Be Like In Tha Past...When Tha First Step 2 a Galaxian Recovery...Is 2 Actually Realize That U've Been Scarred.

There's a Song by My Guy Jaheim and Mary J. Blige called, "Beauty And A Thug"...Just 2 Hear This Song Makes Me Want 2 Take  A Peaceful Walk In Tha Park.
In That Song, There's A Line..."Tha Life That He's Led, Has Left Him With Some Scars/But She Viewed Them All, As Mere Beauty Marks."
Sometimes What U've Gone Through...Bout 2 Get Loose...What U've Gone Through Is What Makes U So Beautiful...Surviving Rejections or Tha Presence of Cupid's force of NARCs.
Cupid is My Homebody, but I know I ain't Tha only one who is about Ultimate Hit on With Tha Luv Drug, only 2 hear a Battering Ram, and a Task Force yelling, "Not 2day!"...And Out Goes Ur Luv Spark.

Even in AA, They Claim The Initial Step is To Admit That U Have a Problem...Then after That U can Move Ahead.
But when it comes 2 This Life, We act like Nobody has been Hurt, or Try 2 Cover Thangs Up, or Not Share Ur Painful Luv Stories when That One Convo Can Help a Soul that Needs 2 Be Fed.
People have invested So Many Lessons and Stories in Regards to Success and Luv...Women and Men...2 Me, I feel a Responsibility to Share How after a Breakup U can Rise from a Depression's Bed.
Letting me 2 Learn That Taking Up Tha Major of Luv And Success is a Double Major way tougher Than Studying Advance Calculus and Pre-Med.

Then In Me, U Almost Get Tha Icing on Tha Cake...Cuz I'm Still in Tha Role of Bachelor or Living Single.
It's different as Ur presently going through a Process...And You're Willing to speak about situations involving Girls who've U wanted 2 Date or I guess Mingle.
I don't 'Kiss and Tell', which I think some Ladies may get intimidated by...'Oh...If I go out with him, He's gonna write about it...' No!  Privacy is somethang I cherish, that's if I Date Mary Ann or Ginger.
On This Galaxia's Luv Island...What Happens There...Stays There...Whether That's a Cool Conversation or a Journey Through a Rose Bush via a Finger.

Thought about So Many Things with Gurls, Wondering If I should've Mentioned Some Names or What If I Never Even told a Gurl That I Wrote About Not Per Se Her...But A Lesson Learned.
I know of maybe Two Gurls That Being So Open about Their Beauty and Coolness, That I've probably Lost as a Possible Friends....Now in Each Other's Presence, Our Hearts beat with a Different Turn.
You know Tha Kind Where U Can't Look That Person in Tha Eyes...Cuz either Ur Heart or Ur Panties Will Burn.
It's Tough...But I Have No Regrets about Anythang...Cuz I'm 100% Authentic and Determined in terms of How I want This Butter Stick of Fun and Luv To Churn.

Gonna be Super Honest about somethang, and It's somethang That Has Lit A Fire under My Skin beyond Compare.
One Thang That I've been Baffled by is...(Gulp!)...How come Friendships and Relationships with Certain Girls never Have Ended with Closure...or Even a 'Good-Bye' Stare.
Like, I've never had a chance to Have a Nice Sit Down Convo and it being like, "We shouldn't Be Friends" or "Ur Not Might Type"...Doesn't That Sound Fair?!!
What gets Me So in A... "Come On?  Not You Too!!" attitude, is That Everythang surrounding My Life has been Up In Tha Air...So U don't know if U've Wrongly Steered.

Gurls have Never really Told Me...At Least Tha One I've Had Friendship or Interest In...How They've Felt about Me...We stop talking and My Glass looks Half Empty when I thought it was Half Full.
So I'm left wondering If I coulda gotten One More Championship outta of Relationship...With so much Mystery surrounding...It feels like The Breakup of Jordan, Pippen and that rest of tha '98 Bulls.
U think, about after all Tha Fun and what we've been through...I can't even get a Lunch to here Ur thoughts...I thought U were different, this is So Childish like A-Bye full of Lulls.
Like How can Things End With so Much Uncertainty...Then I Go to Tha Great Lawyer in Tha Sky and wonder if I'm ever gonna get into a Friendship or Relationship That never gets annulled.

That's why I've...Not Envious...But wish I could be with Somebody who's Real...Like Really Real.
I hear all Tha Time, "I'm Real" or 'I'll Tell It Like It is'...But Do You Really? Especially when U meet somebody Else Who's Been through Tha Poker Game of 'Let's Deal.'
There are some Gurls out here, Who Want Tha Same Thang...Not just Smoke and Mirrors but somethang Built on a Honest Feel.
Like U feel like Ur being Wanted just a some kind of 'Attraction' and not as a Person...It's cool 2 watch, but nobody wants to get too close to That Ball Bouncing on Top on that Slick Skin Seal.

So when I talk about Tha Infinite Experiences That I've Gone through, There's A reason that I say U can survive, because at least from a "This isn't working out" or "I'm in Luv with.., So I can't"....U at least know.
I haven't even gotten tha pleasure of that...from Anybody...Which considering How Many Apples I've Bitten Through...Don't know why keep preaching about and keep coming 2 Luv's Corner Sto'.
Which is why U have to make assumptions like...I was too much for that person...Or even I have too much Dough.
And it's also Why U Can't Care What People Think Bout U...Cuz Nobody Has Told U Anyway!!! U learn 2 Just Go Wit Tha Flow.

Last Thang on This Topic...Cuz This IS Part of Tha Journey BTW...In Life, Sometimes...Some People may not want to be Tha One.
Like For Instance...Let's just be real...We believe we are gonna be This Big Star, so Somebody may not want 2 go 'On Record' as Me being Tha One They Let Get Away on Our Way 2 Galaxy Fun.
Like Breaking Up Wit Somebody Via Text...A Face 2 Face is Better, But YOU might not want to go on with That In-Person Moment of Regret lingering On and On even after Ur Knocked Up and Done.
U see Cindy or Natasha on TV Living Tha Life and Looking Good and Changing Tha World, and All U Can Think about is U saying, "It's Not You, But Me" behind Tha Old Abandon building of Century 21.

I've NEVER, NEVER, NEVER revealed what I'm about 2 say 2 anybody...But here we go...

There is somethang different, If Ur a gurl and you have become a Part of Our Story.
It's like one of those Back-In-Tha Day Kid's books, when if u want Such and Such 2 happen U Go To this page or If U want this option, U choose That...Even if it ends up Gory.
We all should Have confidence in Ourselves...But I Just know that We are a Person Who Comes Along Not Once-In-A-Lifetime...But Once in a Course of History.
I try 2 Live A Life where Everybody is Having Fun and Acting Goofy...But just like Total and Biggie, I'm left thinking..."Can't U See?!"

Despite Everythang we've been through and Am Going Through...I still believe That when it's All Said and Done...We are gonna be a few that when U think about Us, Ur face brings a Sexy Smile.
Even with All of Our Experiences and Tha Lifestyle we have...We are Super Easy to Get 2 know, even though "Our Resume" (What-Freakin'-Eva!) may show it's impossible to get our number 2 Dial.
Which is Why When Somebody Uses Us for Nights and Days of Fun, and Then Chooses another Route...I Cringe Cuz I KNOW Our Personality is One That U Won't Ever See Again for a Long While.
Which Baffles Me 2 Why U would Want to Struggle with Uncertainity...Where U know What Ur Gonna Get With Us...A Person May Look Like An Adult, Doesn't Mean They Still Don't Think Like a Child.

That's Why recently We keep on Saying, There's Another Level...Cuz U May Think U've seen it all or There are Things and Perhaps Somebody Who Can Show U a Different Style.
Tha Freaks Always say, "Don't Knock It Until U Try It!"...U think it can only Be Good Naked...But "Tha Thrill" can Be Just As Good With Tha Lights On, Fully Dressed in a Versace Dress that's 90's Wild.
Yeah, There is Sensuality in 'Tha Chase' or Mystery...In some ways that's True...But As U Go Through Life U learn That U prefer Dirty Laundry 2 Be Somewhat Folded, and not constantly on tha Floor in a Pile.
That Dirty Pile That was so Accepted, Now Becomes an Hassle, and when U try 2 Go Back 2 That Laundromat offering that Living Social coupon...It's now unattainable...Like a Diamond in a River Nile.

So When Another Experience Happens, I think..."Are U Sure It's Not Tha Right Time?" Or "U Positive U Rather Be With Him Than Me?"
If So, Then we Charge It 2 Tha Game, and Move on, Knowing That I'm One Step closer to What and Who I Want to be in my Life of Luxury.
Just because You Look Golden Tan, Doesn't mean that A Bee is Gonna be attracted 2 Ur Honey.
And after Seeing So Much I Just Have 2 Shake Our Head...Not in Disappointment, but Because Tha 'Ish is Mad Funny!

Almost Done.

Life Has A Way of Building Ur Character in Ways that U don't want to Acknowledge, None Tha Less, in Some Ways U don't feel U should Have 2 Go Through.
"Jimmy didn't have 2 go through this and He has A Lambo, A Hot Wife and Kids, Cool Job"...How Come Everytime I want to Give a Summons to Luv and Fun, I'M THA ONE who ends up getting Sued!
We have always thought, that Perhaps we've been built for Something Bigger...And For That U Have to Have Motivation and a Mindset that won't let u quit No Matter if U keep getting Luv's Flu.
Fudge!  (I want 2 Use Tha 'F' Word There)  But Why Does it have 2 Be so Complicated...Guess All Ur Walls Have 2 Be Torn Down, So U Can Build Up Higher Ones...So Modern...So New.

Right Now, I'm trying to find my Motivation...It ain't Sex...Money either...Or a Gurl...I feel like Perhaps it's a Situation.
One where I finally, feel like Writing This Diary, or Tha Want 2 Make Somebody's Day has paid off...That might be my Life's Summation.
Everythang's a Grind...Working Out ain't as Fun...Praying To God feels like it hasn't paid off...U Think has My South Beach Life just Peaked...Never being Fortunate to Have Gathered All The Information.
Wishing That I Can Have What I've Always Wanted...Which is To Recruit Tha Folks Who Have Fun and Want 2 Show True Luv Also...To Make This Galaxy not just good...But a Lifetime Sensation.

U Can Get Tired of Tha Same Ol', Same Ol'...Wanting to Get Different Results, when inside U know U Can't Win...Not like This.
U Think...LeBron Switched Teams...KG with Tha Celtics...Where Do I Have To Go To Get, I feel...My Rightfully Deserved Chip...I'm Working on My First, When I feel I should Be on Ring Number Fifth.
Feel like Jordan in '90 or more like Kobe in 2007 when He wanted to be Traded...Like People are Missing out on Tha Best Player in Tha League, But I Want Tha Best Team...Yet Nobody Wants 2 Come With.
So It's like I Wish Upper Management Can Show Me Something That Shows Me We Are On Tha Same Page, and That We are trying to Do Somethang Special, and That I'm not just a Working Stiff.

That's Where I'm At...Do I Stay Without Anybody in my Ear or Things Moving as Quickly as I Think They Should?
Or...Do I just Move On From This Team and realize That I gave one Heck of an Effort, and "It Is What It Is"...And Tha 'On' Switch Was Never Hit on my "Most Fun" Light Bulb.
I've Talked 2 Cupid, Santa, Casanova, and Have Read On Marilyn, Babe Ruth, Elvis...Somebody Who Can Relate When Ur Hot Yet Feel Like Ur Living in a Temp Cold Zero-Sub.
Like Somethang Weird is Going On in Ur Life...When Ur Talking Bout Luv...and Fun...Yet U Look Around and U're Tha Only One Popping This Champagne Bub.

This ain't Talk of a Depressant...Just Somebody Who knows our Lifestyle Has Reached a Point Where I want 2 Be Able To Show What We've been Practicing all These Years.
I wear My Heart on My Sleeve, Whether Good or Bad...So Without This I Have No Fear.
I've felt like I've Done My Part, Kept My Mouth Cool and Calm...While watching Everybody around Them Get Theirs.
Freakin' Everybody!!  So I'm wondering how come I'm working so hard, when I look at them and Everyday they are Shouting 'Cheers'.

I don't care if In a Place Where Everybody knows My Name...I just Got this Chip on My Shoulder...And I guess U can call it a Certain Edge.
Maybe I have 2 Work Harder...Be More Smarter...Or Even Sexier...Do Whatever It Takes, even if It leads to me taking a Bungee Jump off of A Golden Gate Ledge.
I've Gone Soooo Hard...Perhaps This Palm Sunday is Tha Perfect Time to Renegotiate My Fun and Luv Pledge.
Especially When U've Felt like Ur Dreams Haven't Come True...No Matter How Much Positivity Has Been Said.

My Life and Lifestyle is one in which it's Either You..."Love or Hate."
I Have 2 Figure Something Out...And I will...No Matter What has been Dealt 2 Me By Fate.
Make no beans about it...I'm no longer gonna be patient...I've been one of Tha Most Patient People...No more of this..."Just Relax and Wait."
My Calendar has only one Day on it...That's Today...Now I'm living with only One Date.

Would Say This...Kobe in 2007 wanted 2 be traded...Cuz He felt Disrespected and How His talents have been Wasted.
U doing All U Can for Tha Good, and U keep Wondering... I Got This and This...But There are some other Thangs in Life worth Being Tasted.
There is only One more piece To Our Puzzle before I Can honestly say "This Tha Greatest Puzzle Ever Pasted."
It's a Motivating Force...Definitely...Have 2 Dig Deeper....But one can only Take so Much Not Seeing Any Kind of Signs, before U turn to Hope Gone and trying out Free Basing.

But Back in 2007 after Kob's trade talk, something went down a few months later That season...Matter of fact it was a trade.
It didn't involve him, but it changed Tha Course of History with Tha Lakers, and some thought it was One of The Best Moves Ever, Ever Made.
Sometimes A Star Only has One Card Left...And it may not be What Card U Have, But How It Is Being Played.
U Have 2 Believe, In That One Card, and That Tha Dealer Knows How 2 Keep U Going...Even When U Think U Got it "Made In Tha Shade".

U Learn To Keep Being Confident, and To Choose Wisely...Not 2 Jump at Tha first Thang That Has A Lot of Money, or Tha First Beauty Who Can Turn a Twist on A Pole.
See, I'm just letting U in, on How My Life is...To Tha Max...And How For Me or Anybody To Chase Their Dreams of Success and Luv...You Must Be Ultra-Bold.
Even Though Tha Lakers Had To Go To Spain to Get Kobe some Help...They Later won Two More Championships, and Their story as well as Mine....Especially Today...Must be told.
"You Never Know What May Be Going On Behind Tha Scenes."...It may come from Tha Other Side of Tha Globe...But It's Coming...And When it hits, It's Gonna Hit!  ...A Life With A Galaxy Version of...

Pau Gasol!


From My Heart.
Ciao.
Austino Galaxia.