"Phooomph!!!"

There once lived an old man,
Up in a castle by tha foggy countryside.
A place where tha Google Car ran outta gas,
A place where even Peek-A-Boo could hide.

No one knew it existed,
And for some reason I believe that was by choice.
This place had some mad history though,
Where Duncan Hines and where former prom queens got really moist.



This castle was grey and strong in nature,
Yet inside wore more colors than a Telemundo TV host.
Word around town was Drake wanted his 21st b-day to be here,
To party where Tupac's ghost still hovers...would be tha ultimate boast.

But even Mr. Degrassi couldn't get in to this joint,
All because it was actually home to a wife and a different man.
This was tha type of couple who ate days for breakfast,
Then at dinner at hours at a time...straight out of tha can.

The man was tha focus of this home though,
Although up there in age, he still felt like he still got tha mojo.
Saying how he's gonna use every chance of his 365,
To shine, even when his horoscope shows that his full moon should glow.

Tha daily routine of this man was pretty simple,
Pretty much it's been tha same for about 33 years.
Wake up...Cut on tha candle lit lantern,
Then walk down steps so dark, that even Freddy Krueger would have fears!

As time went on each step began to get longer,
Yet this man was motivated by the sound of each..."Creeeeek!"
This elderly gent ain't what he used to be, he once said,
That was after he got a photo of a former flame now turned Nursing Home Bunny of tha week.

 He met his wife on a journey set by destiny,
And I guess it don't hurt that his Pops is nicknamed 'Father Time'.
A rendezvous over at this place called Sandglass Lounge brought them together,
Gal was so beautiful, that no girl right now can compare to her when she was in her prime.

Now this couple has grown together over the years,
With tha wifey growing old of this man's seemingly daily and routine ways.
'Why don't you do something different like go for a walk at least...
Ur having a tough time keeping up...Next time we have sex I might have to ask u to pay!'

He thinks his wife is sleep, but she is wide awake,
Laying in bed, shaking her head thinking, 'What's tha use?'
Mentally thinking about her girlfriend and tha story she once told her,
"Everytime my Anos snores or drools I just call up 1-900-W-I-F-E-A-B-U-S-E."

So the wife finally had enough of all this dark again and again,
She rolled outta bed and put on her Chanel sandals...given as a gift from Coco.
Next she put on her Mac "O" lipstick, and Kate Spade reading glasses,
After a ugly shot in tha National Enquirer, she learned to look good no matter what...cuz u never know.

A woman of her age shouldn't be looking so hot in Victoria Secret,
But she's kept in shape through Olympics, Tae Bo, and by using tha classic Thighmaster.
Her only regret is not living in Cougar Town,
For if she did, every teenage boy would have her picture on their bedroom wall Scotch tape plastered.

This woman of experience, no fluffs down these dusty stairs,
Feeling tha chill of tha castle, that makes her lips feel a slight tingle.
Still wondering if she made the right choice in marrying this man,
Imagining how many potato chips would be in her bank if she married that rich guy...Mr. Pringles.

Every man wanted to be with this dame,
She chose this guy who used the line, "Into tha future...I see."
With each step down, she thinks of how goofy it was to fall for a guy,
Instead of marrying a generational First or a Second, she's tied to a guy with tha suffix of A.D.

Tha glow of tha lantern is now becoming less dim,
And she sees her man setting up shop, right here in tha middle of tha night.
Once again, she wonders how a gal of her sexiness ended up with this human being,
'Honey, why u always use that latern, use our gift from Edison and turn on tha light.'

A (Click!), then went out, and a embarrassed grin followed,
"Babe, u know how I like things a certain and specific way.
Later I'll walk across the street with a suitcase, and eat Black Eyed Peas for dinner,
Just put the rice on tha stove, and let me begin this very unique day."

Tha wife was upset, for she believes strongly in good luck,
She let not having a pig roast slide, but this was getting over tha top.
'Honey, u better not ever talk to me like that again or else...
I'll take u for this entire castle...With my looks a young stallion will take me 2 Ibiza 2 spend all of ur Guap.'

Tha man ignored her, as he went into his routine,
Camera outta tha bag first, and then it's time to set up tha spotlights.
He then laid a cloth cover on tha ground, that Da Vinci once used,
Back in tha day he could move it so easy, now he needed 2 use all his might.

Next he put out a stool in tha white cover used for paintings,
It was tha color of Purple, just because he liked tha song, "Purple Rain".
Prince once called about throwing a party in his place as well,
After finding out about tha wildness of Prince's parties..he told him maybe when ur rocking a cane.

The gentleman then pulled out this old Sony Walkman,
Hooked it up to some Beats By Dre speakers and then the scene was set.
A photo shoot area, that could rival anythang from Esquire or Harper's Bazaar,
So sensual that Nun's Quarterly could have Pope Francis on it's cover titled, "Kiss Me Til U Get Wet!"

With Wham!'s "Everything She Wants" in tha background,
Now this photographic party was now about to begin.
Where stars become icons seemingly over night,
How a moment visual can become the push needed to a lifelong dream.

(Phooomph!....Phoomph!)
The camera goes off like Naomi or Kate Moss was tha subject at hand.
Jordan teamed up with The King of Pop is his #2 dream shot,
His number one has yet to show his presence, yet he can feel his 'Now Is Tha Time' Dance.

(Phoomph!....Phooomph!)
Now tha camera flashes are followed by a "Look at me with ur lips."
Followed by t a, "That's why u are the best.",
The scene all going on with his wife on tha steps with her hands on her hips.

'Why do u do this, you fool,
Don't you know that ur having a photo shoot with no one here, not even a ghost?'
He just looked at her with a Fountain of Youth grin, and said,
"Don't u know what today is?  Just continue with breakfast, and easy on tha butter with tha toast."

Before tha wife burned down tha kitchen, she snapply replied,
'This has been ur routine for years on end...he's never gonna show.
You look stupid taking photos with nobody even sitting there,
Why don't we role play, I'll be Demi Moore, and u can take a pic of me rolling around in a milli of dough?'

The next sound you heard, was another and meaningful...(Phooomph!),
Then a statement that will be remembered for tha rest of their marriage together.
"I've waited my entire life for this day to come, and now it's here,
He had to go through the necessity of success...Meaning all tha bad and hateful weather.

Both of us, have simply been working our craft,
Until the enviable meeting of the best duo since Robin and Batman.
I luv u Honey, with all of my heart and soul,
Get ready, cuz he's arriving straight from tha South Beach sand."

His Mamacita then huffed and puffed back up that stairs,
Thinking that it's no use getting to him...Off his rocker, he must have fell.
But low and behold, as she got upstairs to check on tha rice,
A "Ding-Dong" sound rang...She couldn't believe she heard a doorbell.

For no one has ever visited this castle before,
Only one picture has surfaced, and that was on Instagram one Halloween.
Tha funny thang about it was tha photo was pitch black with no image,
Along with tha hashtag....#2sexy2beSeen.

Tha man downstairs hear tha doorbell, and got mad excited,
Knocking over his purple stool, getting hype at tha sound.
He's been waiting for this for his entire life, as he said,
Next he then slide out his duffy bag that was lying next to him on tha ground.

Inside was some clothes that were neatly packed for some time,
Especially for this moment, that will give u chills like in 'Burrr...'
He unpacks tha clothes, as a guy and his wife talk upstairs,
Then changes tha music, and puts on one of his subject's favorites...Kayne's "Monster".

The elderly man, then takes off his bedroom PJ's and nightgown,
And then changes unto what many would consider that act of ultimate R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
He slips on a Marilyn Monroe T-Shirt, Slim blue jeans from Joe's,
A San Francisco Giants Baseball Cap...and some H&M bracelets...different colors of three.

This man has been waiting for this moment his entire career,
Even rapping along with "Yay" as he shows joy by raising up his fists.
"No Matter Who u Go and Get / Ain't Nobody Cold as This...
...Do Tha Rap And A Track / Triple Double, No Assist."

The finishing touches came when he slipped on some sunglasses,
Ones that Giorgio A, gave him on a trip in Italy once.
He told Georgy about how he'll never wear them until that day,
Right after that he told him how his subject says he's ageless...like that old chap named Ponce.

He slipped them on with pride,
Next he heard his wife say, 'He's downstairs waiting for you.'
Tha "Creeks" of each step, only heightened the anticipation,
Quickly realizing tha pain of waiting all u life for something...How he made it through.

The subject then gave a big smile and a real hug,
With both of them then stepping on tha rug and striking a sexy pose.
(Phooomph!) Only one shot was needed for these distant friends,
That's what happens when ur shooting with down and out Pros.

A Head Nod was given by tha subject,
And his personalized Creative Rec's walked back up, with his shoe strings of Pink.
No words were exchanged, No "I've been waiting for you's.",
Just a smile across The Man's face, as he put his cameras away so he could think.

The door closed, (Click!), and his wife ran downstairs saying,
"You practiced all your life for one shot that didn't last for more than 10 seconds sharp?!!"
The Man just looked at her with a glaze in his eye,
Almost like he was in Heaven, and she was tha Angel holding a beautifully crafted harp.

Immediately he downloaded that one photograph,
And told his wife, "Come here, and look...I told u it would be without any flaws."
He printed it out on his Epson, no Photoshop was needed,
Gloves were needed simply because, no fingerprints should be on this picture...and he had dirty paws.

A smile and a hug given to his wife followed this day in history,
Even though it took awhile, he was happy that this day's calendar finally showed "The 1st".
Now he could sit back, retiring from tha Photo Shoot game,
Knowing full well that he's been quenched of every ounce of his Providential thirst.

"The World has been waiting for this photo Babe, they've been waiting,
On today this will be on tha cover of every Newspaper and Magazine.
Tell your friends to get one early, cuz they will sell out soon,
I already know who's gonna scoop them...Every person who's a Luv and Fun drug fiend."

With that tha picture was sent throughout tha globe,
To every publication, town, and social network here and abroad.
Nobody could believe it, that these two people finally came together,
The BBC even thought it was like an ET sighting, like some kind of fraud.

This picture came with one stipulation added,
One that must be attached to this once locked photographic door.
It simply read this, and was translated in every language...
"History's Best Duo Finally Meets....

Mr. Galaxia and Mr. Twenty One Four."



Happy New Year...And Let Tha Fun Begin!!!

Austino Galaxia.