Samantha.

This has been a rough two days,
Don't think I've ever been as P'd as now.
Why do I feel this way, Why am I so frustrated?
Why am I'm dismissing Bart Simpson telling me, "Don't Have A Cow?"

Our diary is too honest to begin with as it is,
Emotions spilling over onto Cyberspace's tablet of white.
Got to just close my eyes and write like it's a company of two,
Recently it seems like I'm riding solo on this once joyful flight.



Right now, I'm in a pure Championship or Bust mode,
Meaning, for those who don't know sports we have a single focus.
No moral victories, No 'Here's my number' will do us any good,
I wish I had Copperfield on Speed dial so he could work his 'Hocus Pocus'.

Tonight, I don't give a care who really reads this,
Cuz sometimes u reach a point where, Ok I want...this.
U feel like u've sacrifice more than anybody who's ever lived,
Yet, for ur years of service u get washed up goldfish.

Camila, don't take that personal, I know u like ur fish and animals,
Even though u hit me with a "Go Away" as I wanted 2 capture ur cute nap sleep.
But don't even sweat it Homie, cuz lately I haven't been in tha mood either, for real,
Recently it'll been hard to audio tape my convo, cuz every other word has tha sound of a  "Beep".

People just don't realize how bad I want to be tha best,
I write about it, but there's a fire that's burning like a beach bon fire in June.
I feel soooooo close to what I want in life, just to be "normal" I guess,
As normal as u can get while eating while using a Burberry handled spoon.

Been so low key about our life, like I really feel like this,
We are the World's Best Kept Secret...Hands down.
U can take that how u want, whether ur talking about writing or what,
Not even gonna talk about Love, cuz we know who should be holding tha crown.

Love will come in a second, but for some reason it ain't about money,
As a kid, I guess titles mean more to me than any dollar.
I've been blessed with plenty of money, so our goal is more...Galactic...
I want a..."Look, Son, over there he's the best", to be coming out of a Grandpapi's holla.

We have gone through every step imaginable it seems,
Taking a cool back seat while everybody else I feel is getting their due.
Then sometimes we come home at night, like this was another day wasted,
Eat some oatmeal, and then feel even more t'd off cuz I still don't have Sex and The City...Season 2.

This is off subject, but on Saturday I had a little marathon,
Watching episode after episode of this HBO classic TV show hit.
The characters in Sex and The City seemingly fit my love life to a tee,
Even to tha part where Carrie writes her love column, u gotta say that sounds familiar a little bit.

I've always said that Charlotte was tha one I would like 2 smash,
Ooops, I mean, tha one that I would like to offer up some coffee or tea.
She's smart, she's into Art big time, and has a slept on nice booty,
Charlotte has that Private School Girl freak in her, that perfectly mirrors me.

As I was laying in my Wal-Mart bed sheets getting inside the mind of women,
Something hit me, that really and truly threw me for a loop.
Like, Charlotte represents tha girl that I've always had my eye on in real life,
But, Samantha is always that type of girl that gets me to want 2 feel on her 'Two Scoops.'

Samantha is tha cougar, and I'm not just saying I love, I guess 'mature' women,
Cuz if u've read our stuff, it's more like 'If there's grass on tha field, then play ball.'
But putting her sexy age aside, it's her personality that in real life attracts me to her 'type',
The kind who says she's at home sleep, when in actuality she's out with her girls at tha mall.

As I was watching Samantha, I was thinking, I'll be Johnny Good-foot,
Tha Charlotte's have been nice, by why have I've been attracted to tha Samantha's in my life.
Tha girls who look as sex as a pastime, Tha dolls who party until they have to be carried home literally,
Tha ones who love attention as much as a Priest secretly wants to have a wife.

Gettting too real tonight? And yes, we did just used "3 T's,",
We gonna let this thang flow until I feel 110% that my life's about to change.
So u can either get up and walk away, or call up ur homedudes or girlfriends,
Cuz this is about to turn into...Galaxia, The Day He Became Deranged!

So as I was laughing at these episodes, I got to thinking,
About all tha girls that have been in my life, and how that act in a way like Sam.
Free about life...Always seemingly tha life of any party,
And is in no way, shape or form shy about a pic or even being videotaped in front of a Cam.

Some of my "Greatest Hits"...Sorry, I forgot there may be a gurl or 2 reading this,
But some of my favorite homegurls, really have a wild streak in them...that I love.
From piercings, from this one who later got that "305 style" tat right on her thigh,
To another one who can sense a freaky moment coming like small raindrops dripping from above.

One girl who was mad sexy, tan, sexy blond hair, and diamond blue eyes,
Smoked cigarettes like eating Bon Bon's, or like a pack only costed like 2 bucks.
I ran into her at tha club, she brushed her boobs on me, which was "intriguing",
And now I smile whenever I hear, "Face Down, #$! up, that's that way I like to..."

The funny thing is that a lot of these Samantha's that are part of my history,
Have liked us in ways too...So I wonder do opposites really attract?
Or is it just both of us wanting something that neither one of us can really get?
I'm putting my foot down 2night and saying, tha former....I believe that's a pure fact.

Then this "Boyfriend" thing....I just have to say something,
I thought about this one girl years ago, who liked me, walking with me between class.
Her face was absolutely flawless, graduated from a Bible high school,
And in my Gradebook on sexiest girls I've seen, before even she said a word, I already checked off "Pass".

It was getting...just...too...dangerous...though,
Cuz like, she would come closer, but like it was too tempting with her.
There were Blurred Lines if she wanted a simple friend or just a 'guy on tha side',
If I kept walking with her, I knew that I was somehow gonna get my "Ice-sickle stuck inside of her fur!"

(Freaks Unite on that one!!!!)

Even crazier I would see this gurl later after tha year, at a Grad Party,
And she was going out later, and said, "Well, u have my number, don't you?"
We over by tha Country jukebox, while like Garth Brooks is playing in tha backdrop,
With us thinking, "What tha heck is about to happen now?  This cannot be true."

Cuz everybody thought, well she really was top notch material, smart and sexy,
So I told her, "Well, No...I don't have ur number.", and basically left it at that.
Next thang I know it, she's giving me her number...(Thought u had a man, homie)
Telling me that her and her '10's' were going out, and I should join tha most beautiful version of Tha Rat Pack.

Crazy...But not done yet...Then it was this one girl, who was ahead of her time,
She had like Rodman tats on her fair skin, before they were popular which spoke her soul's song.
Was tha girlfriend of one of my homeboys, I was cool with,
Yet....in her PJ's I saw, or "accidentally" could see, her Forever 21 thong.

So this one time, she came to me all excited, and I was like, "What's Up!",
And she replied that she just got one of her nipples pierced.
I'm thinking that cool, that really does fit your personality, u are kind of a free spirit,
Mean, who else wears flip-flops when it's 30 degrees, and when tha wind chill is beyond being fierce.

Now her Man, or my homeboy is like 10 yards away in tha other room,
When she just tells me straight up, "Do you want to see?"
A thought quickly ran through my mind like, "My guy is right there, are u sure bout this?"
But evidently this was a practice role, just in case she became a star on Reality TV!

Before I could even open my mouth, in slow motion it seemed,
She began to lift up her sweatshirt, and with every inch my mouth got a little wider,
I still wonder how a girl can lift up her shirt and  her bra at tha same freakin' time,
Then again, I've seen tha prettiest little things throw down BBQ ribs, and Kobe beef sliders.

So she showed me her right nipple, and held it up there for my show,
To make sure I could see tha ring, in tha middle of her pink bee sting.
This is what I'm talking about...Why do I attract these type of gurls, seemingly...
Or better yet, how can I make these gurls reach their peak and Mariah Carey sing?

Say all this to say, that when it comes to our Love Life, it can be tough,
To know what is really real, or what is just a playful flirt that turns to being fake.
Most of tha homegurls I hang around now, are pretty real, which I truly admire, 4 sure,
Sometimes some of these looks we get from girls can really be just so hard to take.

Whether we're at tha gym as on today, I guess,
And this sexy girl in a low cut pink top, like stop her routine to glance at us.
She was on tha ab machine, had a attractive face with attractive (Censored)
I just spoke, cuz it was awkward, like our stare was going from 'Like to Love Plus'.

Or on yesterday, as I was at tha Heat/Spurs game at tha Triple A,
We see these thangs, but like tha timing ain't right for it all 2 go down.
So when this Italian tanned, black hair chick with glasses is eye-fudging us, as were we,
Or this caramel skin doll is looking our way, we think, 'In Love's Fight, can we just have one perfect round."

And that's why we've been so upset tha last few days,
I've felt like tha inspiration to be tha best or even tha sexiest just-ain't-there.
We're self-motivated, but gosh, even after years and years of motivation,
Sooner or later when u see no light, u just wonder and get upset like, "This s--- ain't fair."

Cuz u see all tha signs around you that ur life is gonna be different,
That one day ur gonna live a Rock Star life, with a Rock Star Responsibility to tote.
But I'm feeling like I've been getting tha Responsibility before tha lifestyle, U understand,
I understand u have 2 pay ur dues, but this has gotten ridiculous...I want my Wally 118 Yacht Boat!!

Sometimes tha worst thang is to have everythang right within reach,
Tha job that u wanted being posted or having tha gurl that u want in ur arms for a photo's flick.
U begin to think that finally after watching others get theirs, and after staying tha long course,
Tha puzzle finally begins to take shape, and that last piece announce's it's presence by saying, "Click".

So after kicking over my Ikea spaceship table last night, in absolute frustration,
Knocking over everythang from sipping cups to pens and whatever else.
A voice began to speak that said, "U had to go tha hardest route, no matter what."
Almost like I forgot that one day I'm not gonna be just tha heartbeat sound of Fun, but be it's absolute pulse.

Meaning, if u gonna be tha top of ur craft, I mean tha very top,
U gonna have to go through some things other people aren't gonna have 2 go through.
Say for instance, if ur tha gal, which every girl in ur clique...clique...clique...comes to,
Then ur probably gonna have to have experience some things on a deeper level than u even knew.

2 put simply, in order for u to help somebody else out, per se,
They claim that u have to have walked in their Jordan's....Or something like that.
But what I'm learning is that if u want 2 not only help, but actually change a Galaxy,
Then u have to have been prepared, which more than likely involves days and nights that seem so whack.

Why am I home on a Friday night?  How come that chick is having another kid?
How come everytime my boys get married, I'm still tha only one whose Sing-lay?
Those thoughts run through ur mind, and listen here...IT AIN'T EASY!!!
Especially when it seems that u'll always be on tha bench and never have a chance 2 play.

2day was tough, just like yesterday, but that's ok,
Because I think we once said that tha darkest hour is right before daybreak.
So why I'm thinking about life is so unfair, or why does every gurl I really dig always have boyfriend,
A thought hit us like, just be like tha Biebster, and live like we are tha ultimate prize with unlimited cake.

Cuz we really think that we are...I mean this is a diary right?
Might as well, write this thang straight up, I mean, December 31st is coming soon.
Until that day, we have to write how we really feel,
And I feel like with our personality and fun life, tha only thang better is being on tha sands 4 a Full Moon.

Something special is a brewing, even though I may not see it,
Faith comes from believing in what we call tha unseen...
If that's tha case, then we are about to have tha best and most fun life ever imaginable...
With tha ultimate being finally getting my Samantha...And of course, she's gonna have...

...Belly Button Bling!


Toodles!!!  With Three Air Kisses!!  (Smooch!  Smooch!  Smooch!!)
Austino F. Galaxia...and Tha F is and will always be... for Fun!