Thursday, January 2, 2014

When Silence Speaks...

I luv my brother, Ant Skeezy, so much beyond words,
Seems like he's there for every high, or spiritual bruise.
So I'm writing on tonight with "our phrase" of 2014 in mind,
One that entails three words...'Nothing To Lose.'

(This is personal beyond words, so please forgive me for being so honest and real about this subject.)


Has anybody ever had a serious crush on somebody,
One that u play it cool, but u know u can't control.
U feel the presence of that person or hear their voice,
Tha thought of their hands makes u imagine how it would feel to hold.

When they come around, u feel a certain "something" in tha air,
Almost coming like Phil Collins on a sexy Miami Vice tune.
How in tha Galaxy do u get that person to really notice you?
Should u make a toy giraffe or simply send about 1,000 of those heart's balloons?

I'm a person who's quite private about his luv life,
Although I'm willing to share my lessons at any given time.
But I need some help on tonight, and this is with all jokes aside,
What 2 do with a special girl who I think is beyond fine.

Since I possibly only have 364 days left to jot in my diary career,
Might as well let loose on who has caught my heart.
She's probably gonna be reading this, but that's ok,
I'm considering her my ultimate bulls-eye...This might be my one and only dart.

Can't believe that I'm gonna be doing this,
Please Justin and T-Pain, let me know that I'm not tha only one who feels this way.
If I am, this is a risk that I am willing to take,
This is just my personality...Atlantic City at night, then a flight 2 Vegas tha next day.

Here we go, you want a real diary post, well...
You won't get anymore more honest than this one.
Do my best to get u inside of my soul...
As I describe what's it's like to see a mirror of Luv and Fun.

So I saw tha girl who has caught my side eye earlier today,
Very natural look, as usual, but with her hair down.
Sometimes I wonder did God just spend an extra day 2 make her,
Who else could've made an exit from Heaven, only to leave every Angel with a frown?

She had one of those things in her hair, what do u call it,
Something like a hairband, but pushes ur hair back like a 1960s type 'do.
I think homegirl might've been able to fit right in that decade of beauty,
Where tha clubs were jumping, dance moves were shaking, and up North they shouted "Go Big Blue."

Everyday seemingly I have some gurl episode unfold,
Whether it's on tha street, or by tha water fountain at the gym.
Yet, despite ALLLL these things that happen to me on tha daily,
As of late, there's only been one who I wish I could rewind that day's film.

To make all of this, even more complicated, as if it really could,
My homegurl has a boyfriend...More on that about Dos Minutos.
Crazy how life can be so wild and intriguing,
Guess that's why they say Men are from Mars and Women are from Pluto's!

Or something like that, which is not tha point I want to be made,
Let me get back to today, and follow tha script.
Like a Martin Scorsese flick, love is possibly in tha same way,
Deviate from ur destiny chosen lines, and u'll be telling ur Tales From Tha Crypt.

So out tha corner of my eye, I saw her from afar,
Later on we were within sight, maybe for about ah...6-7 feet.
Somehow I felt like I'm trying not to look, and I think as was she,
It felt like being at a dinner table resisting to be tha first to taste Aunt Bertha's 5-day old leftover meat!

We play things cool, like we usually and always do,
But still felt like, how come I feel this way towards her.
Is it how she talks? Or how she seems so free?
Or how she wears boots when it's cold, wishing that I was her fur.

I probably should stop writing about this on tonight,
Those reading this in China and Europe, I'm sorry for wasting ur eyes on this.
Just that...For a guy who has had the Most Beautiful Girls always around him,
Thinking about her is like an Alcoholic wondering how much it costs 2 get that Jack Daniels...That Fifth.

Now I met Homegirl about ah...early on last year,
Nuthing major just talking with some friends who we both known alike.
To be honest, I didn't really sweat her, just knew she had a mad sexy smile,
One that I only see on Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders after a touchdown spike.

After that we would see each other coming and going,
Whether on a group hang or perhaps an invite to a party at a house.
Still, nothing was there, guess I was in my "Only Blondes" stage those weeks,
So our emotions were still very low key and quiet...I guess u can say like a ghetto mouse.

This is about to get too much in detail, but God is leading me to let it flow,
Things are now about 2 be told that might uncover who I think is such a doll.
There was something that happened that led me to believe,
Why do I have to keep going through these steps on Love's seemingly slippery tile?

I work for tha Miami Heat basketball team, and I always luv hoops,
So last season I happen to have one extra ticket 4 a game to spare.
I knew that Homegurl had a boyfriend at tha time,
It'll been awesome to take her, but break up a relationship...Galaxia wouldn't dare.

Maybe it was stupid or honest on my part,
But I recall sending a text to this girl asking if her friend might have an interest in tha game.
Her friend seemed really into hoops, although she hated my other favorite team, Tha Lakers,
Yet, the thought of making somebody's day...#Awesome...especially for a cool dame.

Somehow, someway, I didn't get a response to my request,
Which had me thinking like, "That's interesting, it'd been nice to hear either way Yes or No."
How come I couldn't get a simple response, just 2 know u got tha text,
If we can't keep it real on this, how about when I eat tha spoon outta of tha bowl of Chocolate Chip Dough?

I kept cool, but inside, if u know me, I was furious,
Wondering...I thought me and this girl was cool, but something truly ain't kosher, for real?
Analyzing if she was hating on her homegurl, or if she wanted to go 2 tha game with me,
Considering if she has some liking toward me, and couldn't let no one else get a chance at this sweet deal.

A few days passed, and I saw her a day or two later,
I had to go use tha bathroom, and something said, "U have to approach."
I thought pretty highly of her, but this bothered me in every single way,
The Zen Master in me wanted a clean heart and mind...Boy, I wish Phil Jackson could've been my coach.

People who know me, realize that I'm a pretty open guy,
Meaning, that I walked up to her, and simply asked her to a lunch.
Just to talk, and to really get to know me as a person u know,
Also to see what happen with my Heat request, somehow though I think I had a hunch.

Little did I know what awaited me after my, "What's up, and I think we should talk",
Folks I got bumrushed like World War 3, and I was in no wise prepared.
"Lunch?  Whadda talking about?!!...U want me 2 cook u Lunch?" was her response,
I now felt like Screech Powers asking Lisa Turtle to Bayside High's Annual Science Fair.

My mouth was almost at an "O" face, without tha R and Gasm,
Because no girl has EVER talked to me that way, I mean never before.
It was like this girl knew every thing I was about to say, before I even thought it,
Maybe the Miami Dolphins could've used her to get that Week 17 playoff drive score.

But u know me, I didn't give up so easily,
After feeling her heat, I asked again, like, "What do u have to lose?"
She said, 'Yes', and sounded like she was down,
I mean, anytime spent with me, would erase any and all types of ur daily blues.

So I was still Curly, Moe and Larry about this possible lunch thang,
Went forward, when tha time came, and hope for some clear air.
Somehow she switched times with someone else and couldn't go,
I walked away shaking my head like, "Yeah right, I think u were scared."

Knowing that hanging out with me, might spur some feelings,
And in retrospect I can see, especially if at tha time u had a man.
But u never know, I wasn't even trying to pluck ur rose bush, u see,
I just wanted to get to know u casually, and to see why I've become such a big fan.

For several weeks, I would see this girl in passing and going,
Trust me when I say, it was pure silence without any type of shout.
Obviously, something is up, and u don't want to face me for some reason,
Ur turning me back to my snobby ways of '01, where with u, there ain't nuthing 2 talk about.

Yet, something was nipping me on tha inside,
Like...perhaps a challenge, or more like, is this how our communication line is gonna end?
I recall going out to dinner with her and some mutual friends tagging along,
Me walking in with only one seat available, right in front of her now tan skin.

Awkwardness, doesn't do that night any justice,
Cuz when two people have hidden history, other people can be effected.
It's like a couple on tha verge of breaking up going with each other to a wedding,
U say, "Hi" or "We're Ok"...But tha Fat Lady has Sung, cuz ur relationship can never be resurrected.

Funny things happen in life though,
And I felt like as time went on, we both "tried" to at least share a joke or two.
Tha ice began to break when somebody else would be in tha room,
We could then talk to and through that person, that was our version of  tha Triangle and Two.

Later though, as tha year would move on,
Destiny would like pave tha way, so that we at least HAD to talk.
One of my pet peeve's is being around absolute silence,
I mean, if I had a small Yorkie, how sad would it be if it couldn't at least bark.

Through several conversations got to know each other a little bit better,
From family backgrounds to Country Music being one of her strong loves.
Which is intriguing cuz she can also be down with hip hop jams as well,
Or old school 90s club songs, her musical interests almost fit me like a glove.

So from tha Blake Shelton judge of things, I become just thankful,
Just glad that I can at least have a convo and let tha past just be tha past.
Still I didn't get into her personal life, so don't know if she was 'with' somebody,
Really relived that our arms of friendship, has possibly taken off their casts.

Now tha Boyfriend thang, and I got to tell this like it naturally is,
I strongly don't believe in breaking up happy homes.
I know how folks get when they get jealous about their mate and their friends,
And personally, I don't feel like knocking somebody out upside their dome!

I've retire with an undefeated record,
Although somebody gave me a tie, but that fight was fixed.
Now I'm a lover and not a fighter,
My Arts is in Romance...Huh...No wonder this girl I kinda like has a heritage that is Mixed.

One Sunday, and I shouldn't be saying all this but I got to,
An idea hit me about an exhibit that was going on here in Miami proper.
It was from tha Grammy Academy in Los Angeles,
I'm always down for a good time with some cool folks...I knew it would be a showstopper.

So I texted a friend, who texted me back this girl's number,
Who's # coincidentally I deleted like, "Outta Sight, Outta Mind."
But this was gonna be something that was interactive and musically cool,
There was only one person who I knew would be tha perfect Art Walk find.

I actually was on my way up North to Boca or Fort Lauderdale,
When I texted this chica, about this thang popping off or whatever.
After some time she responded how that is cool or what not,
The words she used though indicated this would be no easy endeavor.

Like I said I was just on a kick it, get out of tha house tip,
At that time, I still wasn't like, "I wanna handcuff u to tha bunk beds down in tha den."
After a text 2 see if she would be down in going,
She replied she was on her way to pick up her 'Boo'...And I thought..."Here we go Again."

I was in North Beach, like 69th and Collins,
And I pulled over to tha Chase Bank Parking Lot.
Some reason, I thought, this was gonna break our possible friendship once more,
Since tha exhibit was on Bob Marley, and this was another bad timing, maybe 2day might be a good time to start smoking pot!!

We just rolled up North through Bal Harbour and beyond,
With our Top Dropped, but thinking What Tha Fudge?
Is anythang meant to be with some of these girls we hang out with,
How come I'm around all these flavors of Ice Cream, but 4 sum reason can't indulge?

Just like a broken record, we would then see each other,
But now, it may have been me, but something didn't feel right.
After a few weeks past, I couldn't even take it anymore,
For u who follow our diary, can u remember this memorable night?

I sent her a text indicating in an apologetic type of way,
That I'm not that dude, who's out to break up and dude with his chick.
If you are happy, then I am happy, that's what's important,
Also wanted to let her know that I think her spirit and personality is really and truly so sick.

Recently of tha last few weeks, we hung out together in a group,
Had some fun, u know I really luv a girl who enjoys to hit tha dance floor.
Shared some laughs, and some pics...but tha last week or two,
I'm getting a awkward feeling once again about tha soul being a bolted shut door.

Girls treat us differently, I've known this for some time,
I want girls to be relaxed around us, because I think they are life's beautiful gift.
Whenever a girl is down, or needs her sexual flirtations to be acted out,
I want to be tha one to provide a joke, or back rub, or anything to giver her heart a lift.

On tonight though, or on today I should say,
I saw her, and tha only thing that crossed my mind was she's so outer space fine.
We don't break up relationships, but is it ok to let her know she's a diamond in tha rough,

Throw all those factors:  Boyfriend, On and off again conversations,
Now U really getting tha scoop cuz one night I'm being so real, like a guy named Honesty Sam.
There was one time, I was like, Ok, if this gurl should be a friend or lover then I need a sign,
Sure nuff, the next morning, I cut on my phone, with a message that she wants to be a friend on Instagram.

So now, we haven't talked "again" in tha last few weeks,
Whether by chance or on purpose, I don't even think I want to know.
I sent Christmas greetings to all tha folks I think are friends and make cool times,
Everybody responded...Except one...Guess who?  Tha sexy starlet who's tha star in today's diary show.

No idea why I wrote this, but then again, I do know,
She needs to read this, and plus, I really don't give a flying hoot.
Sure this is gonna knock me some points in some people's eyes, 
But I got some money saved up, so I can handle tha flithy lawsuit.

Is this Love?  I wouldn't go that far,
Yet I would say this, and this is coming straight from my heart.
There's only been one other girl who's been as intriguing as her,

Now, u've seen somebody who has a lot of things I admire,
And I think somebody needs to tell her that she's some special, so I might as well.
Not hating on boyfriends, or other guys, that's beneath us,
Sure for ur attention a lot of Frat boys or Marines have fell.

You have gotten an entire post devoted to you,
From the one who one day is gonna be tha most famous face in tha Galaxy and beyond.
I only, and mean only do this for somebody who I think is a "10",
Hopefully this can make u zip up ur hoody, and think upon us so fond.

Maybe we'll never talk again, or maybe this will kindle a strong fire,
I just wanted something that u'll always remember for years,
Let alone months and several weeks.
U got tha kid's attention, which is almost impossible to do,
And even though u haven't said a word 2 me in awhile....
This diary post living proof of what happens when...

Your Silence Speaks.


Luv and Fun Always!
Bye!!

Austino Galaxia...Period.



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