Now... A Toast.

(Click, Click)

'Over here!!'...'Toast...Toast!'...

(Click, Click)

'Why did you and Galaxia break..'

(Click, Click)

Are we on live?  Alright, as you can see there is a complete media circus in this room.  As the one known to many, as "Toast" has entered tha room.  There are cameras going off everywhere, reporters are shouting out things to her, as she's about to take her seat.  I've never seen anything like this.  But then again, we've never seen anyone like Austino Galaxia, and whenever we have a chance to get insight into an already crazy life from somebody from within, this is what you get.  The relationship between these two has filled tha papers for years, they were...I'm trying not to cry...they were the "it" couple.  I think we're gonna start here in a moment.

But they were tha "it" couple, able to survive life down in Miami Beach, and now these last few days have been filled with even more rumors, and on today this press conference was...ah...called by "Toast" herself, and it's been reported by many that she's gonna blow the lid off of what life was truly like living with Austino Galaxia.  Ok, we're being told to be quiet, I tell you tha anticipation is at a ultra-hype level, so let's see what is about to happen.  You only get this live and in living color, let's take a listen...

(Click, Click)

Well, first off I want to thank you all for coming out on today.  I know it's a Saturday morning, and everybody's still recovering from their Friday night.  But do to my schedule this is the only time I have available.  Let me introduce and tell a little bit about myself...

Ok, my name is Gorgeous.  Gorgeous Lopiza. That's my real name, but most of you from the outside and media know me as "Toast".  I was originally born in the French town as Cannes to parents who have loved the beach as much as life itself.  So it's no surprise that I ended up in South Beach.  You can say that I've been a Sun Beam for life. Beach and movies that's what my life from an early age entailed.  Until one day all my dreams changed for the better...

See about I don't know seven or eight years ago, I met somebody...at a supermarket of all places.  I was chilling...oops, sorry...I was relaxing in this one aisle, with some more of my new found, ah I guess I can call them 'brothers and sisters' when this guy begins to walk over to me.  There was something different about him, and something special about the way he looked at me.  So he stood there in front of me like he just saw his dream come true, and then he reached into his pocket, go grab a piece of paper, which looked like a list.  He had a pen as well, so after a quick glance, he looked back at me and simply smiled.  I just stood still, because it seems like other guys gawk at me, and wanna touch me to see if I'm real or not, but once they see how much I cost, they figure that either the price is good to be true or that I'm just desperate.

 Nevertheless, with one swoop of this guys arms, he picked me up, and put me into this cart.  Some people get literally carried away once they found love.  One of my cousins, named Ken More, got kicked all tha way down the aisle of love.  This dorm girl, had so much on her plate, and he looked like he could handle it, so just I don't know, like Beckham'd him into her life.  But, this guy showed class from the beginning, but giving me a ride.  Little did I know that it would be a ride I wouldn't soon nor ever forget.

'What are you gonna do now that you and Galaxia have..'

Please, I'll answer your questions later.  For now, ah, let me talk.  So...that guy turned out to be Austin Williams.  Or as the "Galaxy" (Two fingers in quotes) know him as Austino Galaxia.  But I knew him back when he just was...him.  I asked him how did he know that I was 'tha one'.  And he straight up told me, that he was looking for somebody..."different".  He said, everybody he knew had a girl who always wore jet black, or silver, but he never seen anybody who wore white so eloquently, and by doing some research, who would give off the ultimate tan.  That's what he wanted in his life, he felt like he had needs to be met, and I was the perfect candidate who could fulfill them all.  Oh, and he was so excited that he could actually afford me.  Cuz when he first saw me, he didn't think he  could.  He said other girls looked so overpriced.  All caught up in the digital age. some padded their shapes just so that they could attract a guy who's used to breaking off four slices of his personal bread.  He knew those girls were out just for tha money.  Even though, I still have my standards of two slices of my guy's bread income, he felt like I was simple, and trustworthy, and somebody who could last through years on end.

The beginning of our relationship was unique so to speak.  I think Galaxia has a diary or wrote in his diary about how he likes to take things slow, or even test his possible future mates in the beginning just to see if they are in it for him or for what he has.  So in the beginning, he would give me, well, first he would keep me covered in this plastic bag thing from...ah...Target.  Like everyday and night, it wasn't even tha same white that I liked.  I stepped to him one night, "Why do you have me covered up in all these bulls-eyes?"  And he just gave a twinkle of a smile and said, 'I just want you to be a reminder of me aiming for the stars, and actually having my dream come true.'  He won my heart with that one.

We had to struggle, as many couples do.  He would bring home these cheap brand of waffles for me to cook for him.  Whatever was on sale, he bought. Ah, Publix brand...whatever.  Lately our breakfast has been the same.  I had a friend named South American friend named Eggo, who gives us the best waffles he has from the bakery he owns.   He sends them over, always tha same kind.  The nutri-grain kind, with Blueberries.  I let Austino add the almonds, I mean, I can't cook everything.  Just to see how this guy was so consistent in his love for me...it made me fall deeper in love as well.

And with that we became more, I guess close.  He loved me so much, that both of us for like a week, read this book on my family's history called, "Burnt Toast".  We absolutely loved how Teri Hatcher, wrote about my family's life philosophies, and how life should be lived.  That's how I was raised, and he saw that his family had a similar tradition.  It was like we were made for each other.

Even through the tough times, like I can recall after I moved in with him, I can recall it raining like crazy down here in Miami, and South Beach were our "showroom" (Two fingers in quotes again.) was.  It rained so that his, or our kitchen began to leak.  Harder...and harder.  I was idle and asleep at the time, but Austino walked in and saw what was going on, so first he immediately moved me away from the water coming from the ceiling.  He wanted to call his friends Scott or Mrs. Downy for help, but they didn't pick up their phones.  Finally he found some kind of towels to dry the area, but what moved me was that, (Cough, Cough)...was that (Cough, Cough)...water, can I get somme wa...yeah, (Cough, Cough).  Thanks.  (Gulp-Gulp-Gulp-Gulp-Gulp)  Ahh...that's better.

Sorry, what got me was how he looked after my safety first and foremost.  He practiced what he preached.  And with that, I just went all in after this guy.

I said earlier how he began by dressing me in plastic bags, but now I wasn't holding back, I didn't wear anything to cover my curves.  I was naked, and when I wasn't I was only covered by a face towel.  Blue ones, green ones, although he admired my shape and figure, he still wanted me to somewhat look lady like.  I was in pure beach mode.  He wanted to push the limits even further, and so did I.

(Click, Click)

It used to be that we both would go "up and down" only in the morning.  But many nights after a long day or workout, I could sense that he didn't want to go out to eat, but wanted some home fixin'.  So "up and down" we went at night.  And then again, in tha morning.  We would try new things as well, he wanted me to take it slow, so I tamed it down to a "1" on my dial.  Some nights, after a Heat or Lakers win, we would crank things up to a "5".  I was flexible...that's funny...I was flexible, and wanted to please him in every...single...way.

In like 2010 try and errors began to hit a very high peak.  He said we've been doing things tha same for so long, let's take the next step into our relationship.  I said, "fine."  So he told me that he had an Aunt Jemima who heard about how we "do things" and wanted to be down like Brandy.  I didn't even know who Brandy was, but I knew what he was getting at.  Being leery at first, I declined, but after deciding who I was with, I decided to give it a try...with a new friend or family member or whatever.  It wasn't fun at all.  But you do crazy things for love. 

Then Austino said he wanted to add some more bang to our fun.  Citing how he knew this woman back up north named Mrs. Butterworth, who had this syrup thang for couples, and how it would magnify the...

Is what you're saying is, Austino Galaxia is a super freak?

Can I finish?  As I stated I'll answer a few of your questions in a bit.  It was alright, but he preferred her syrup that was free from sugar, which didn't give me that same rush that I wanted.  It was fun still.  We had some other fulfilling wishes as well, like for instance.  I had always dreamed about us two getting passionate and him feeding me Pop Tarts.  I could feel the sensation of going "Up and Down" with his favorite Confetti flavor.  Sprinkles falling over me until it hits my bottom.  That was a fantasy of mine, which he one day we would try.  

One thing he wasn't too fond of was when I suggested that we bring in my friend named Arnold.  But he got upset, and said, that Arnold was just a close friend he like to have over whenever we had Turkey Burgers for lunch or whenever his sister Alexia would invite us over to her home for dinner.  She made some great casseroles and dishes, I never knew anybody could do so much with Sweet Potato Puffs.  But as for the "Up and Down" thang, Austino wanted me all to himself.  Which I liked...a lot.

When did all this change?

You people...I guess it's "q and a" time huh.  Whatever, so u asked when did all this change.  Well, one thing that I learned from being with Austino Galaxia, is that there's a lot of girls who wanted to be in my position.  I mean...a lot.  He would come home and tell me all these stories.  Like him being out shopping a feeling like once these girls would see him they would be willing demonstrating all they could do for him.  How they could last longer, or how they take care of themselves by only eating bagels...it got out of control.

This one time he came home and told me what this one...girl, which everybody around South Beach calls, "Pillsbury".  He told me all the things she showed him she could do with a Toaster Strudel.  After flipping and showing him how hot it could be if he left me, she then had tha nerve to whisper in his ear, 'The frosting can only be optional!'

So I knew I better take care of myself our I would lose him.  One time, I got a small kinda looked like a burnt mark on my skin. Austino one morning was doing his usual thing, and whipped off my towel.  And before we continued on, he looked and noticed it right in between my cleavage.  Immediately, he gave this look, and although we did our thing that morning.  I could see that a part of him was skeptical of how I got that mark.  There is this guy name Van, who's popular with all the girls in South Beach, he probably thought I was cheating on him.  Plus, with Austino...he has these expectations of his, I guess, loves, like they have to be flawless inside and out.  

I mean, he monthly makes sure that my body has no crumbs inside.  Takes me to this doctor who shakes you, bangs you...well not that bang, but...taps you on your sides.  And really opens you up literally.  Then they turn you on your side, and scrapes the bottom of you until you're all clean.  It's a brutal experience.  It doesn't cost much, but Austin wants his woman to be clean, and knows that I do my best work when I'm crumb-free.

I guess, to answer your question, that mark was the beginning of the end.

So, "Toast", how did you get that mark?

I don't remember, and that's what I told Mr. Galaxia.  He said he believed me, but deep inside, I knew that he didn't. I need some more water...Thank you.  (Gulp-Gulp-Gulp-Gulp)

Why are you here then?

Well, let me continue.  So that 'mark thing' was a few months, yeah, several months ago.  But it wasn't tha same anymore.  I mean, I used to be tha apple of his eye.  I recall me even making him crumpets for him, since I knew how much he loves England.  How he wants to live in London  I did this for a whole week, but all he said was how "it made him feel fat" and how I "messed up his workouts".  I did...(Sniff, Sniff)...I did everything for him.  I knew he was special, and I felt he felt the same about me, but...(Sniff, Sniff....Bloooooww!)  I just wanted to do everything to save our relationship.

He used to give me so much attention.  Now he wouldn't even look at me anymore.  I'll be there flat out naked late and night, and he acted like he never even cared.  He would just write in his diary, or watch some show like Orphan Black, and not even care that I'm was 'out there' just for him to take me.  The more these girls came at him with offers or prices that he couldn't resist any longer, I just knew that the end was imminent.  He says he's not like that, but all these South Beach guys are.  They want the newest toy on the market, and if you messed up, or even appear to be flawed when you're not from the outside or don't perform like you once did, then...

There's a rumor that the reason for you two breaking...

No more questions!  No more!  I'm gonna explain this and that's it.  Alright!  (Sniff...Sniff)  So the other day or night, something strange happened.  He went over to tha kitchen where I was, and all these rumors of me having some kind of 'bug' inside of me, took its head.  He thought he saw something, picking me up, turning me around, and was just staring at me naked like I had something to hide.  If I had some kind of bug in me, don't you think I would tell him. I mean, we've been through so...(Full cry...Boo hoo....), so....much...to...gether.  (Sniff)

He was the only man I ever known.  So after he looked to see if I was "damaged goods", I sat there naked and glanced into his eyes.  This time, I knew it was over.  He...

(Click, Click)

He then immediately went over to his computer, and I could see from the corner of his eye, that he was looking for somebody new.  He went to this website where you could get things from the Amazon.  They have every choice of desire you can imagine.  I just sat their in disbelief.  Trying to figure out how after all tha fun times, it would lead to this.  He went specifically looking for a dame who looked good in pink, which wasn't surprise because all week he's been telling people and writing in his diary about him digging these punk rock types.  I no longer was an option.  

Then the next thing that happened was beyond any imagination.  After a few moments he got up, and began to walk over to me, he reached for tha cabinet, and pulled out a white plastic bag.  This time it wasn't from Target, but from a Dollar Store which is symbolic to how our relationship has changed.  I heard a "Whip" sound.  I thought, 'Oh no!'...Then again, "Whip!".  And he glanced at me for tha last time, and then grabbed me by my side, and threw me into this bag.  I first thought about giving a fight, but then I realized that perhaps this was tha best for both of us.  He tied tha bag over my head, and left me to suffocate.

What is the last thing you remember?

Tha last thing I recall is tha landing I had into this, what I am guessing to be, a trash bin.  It was smelly I could tell, but just to hear that door slam.  "Bam!"  Was enough to make me pass out.  Somebody must have dug for me, and once they found out who I was, I guess from all the photos from my semi-publicized relationship with Mr. Galaxia.  They resuced me, brought me back to life, and here I am today.  Now sitting next to my new man.  I guess, it's true, "somebody's junk is another man's treasure."

Are you and Galaxia still in contact?

No.  But I have friends though, and they let me in on what's been going on.  He's really into finding his new girl on the Internet.  I don't think he's gonna find his type at Brandsmart or all those fancy places. Some of my friends are all gearing up, and getting shining, and are ready to perform at there best, because they know he's the ultimate catch.  My bet is he's gonna find his new girl, at like Big Lots or somewhere like that.  He loves to find girls who are diamonds in the rough.  I wish him tha best.  As I do for her.  He'll have a new one by the weekend, you can bet on that.  That's what type of person he is.  On to tha next one...

Any advice for anybody who may date him in tha future?

Well...there's a lot that goes along living with Austino.  He's changed some, but his determination or 'fire' as he puts it is at an all-time high.  He now senses or feels like he's close to blowing up, and becoming this star, as he's always said.  Kind of egotistical.  Really enigmatic.  So you have to be prepared for that.  But I do admit, he loves to have fun.  I mean, I never could imagine being with somebody like that.  After we met he used to call himself, "The Zen Master of Fun", now I believe it's true.

If you're gonna date or be with him, my suggestion is to be yourself.  A lot surrounds his life.  He likes to do new things in new ways.  I talked about us going , "Up and down" a lot.  But we would do that different times of the day, just to keep things fresh.  He just wants somebody to be real, look good, and laugh.  Even though our relationship had to end, I miss him.  He's on tha market now.  And whoever gets him next...is probably not only be special, but maybe even a little enhanced in some areas.  That's not what matters to him.  Performance and durability.  If you can handle that, then you are gonna be the luckiest girl in tha Galaxy.

That's it.  Sorry....I'm Sorry...

'Toast!' 'One More Question Toast!' 'What about...'

(Now standing by the exit)

I do have one more thing to say. 

(Click, Click)

Ladies and Gentleman, we all are people who need love, and admire those in it.  We say true love is this or that, but as my Uncle Black and Aunt Decker used to tell me...

"The measure of a man's heart is not how he loves another woman or even man...But the true measure of a man's heart is simply, and unequivocally...

...How he loves his toaster."


With Love,
Austino Galaxia.