It was a warm, borderline hot day here in Miami. South Beach was jumping with so many goers heading off to our golden sands. Guys with no shirts on, with tha girls rocking bathing suit tops as the caress our neighborhood streets. I got a feeling that it's gonna get really hot down here in tha 305. Weather wise, people wise, its gonna be a sight to see. And a whole lotta fun. We're gonna get a lot hotter (Did we just say that?!)...But it's true, we're gonna be on our "A" game, and...
Let tha game come to us.
And it will.
Some wild stuff we've seen. Ok. I was washing clothes last night, and first off, I walked into a baby version of FC Barcelona and Real Madrid, as these kids, girls included, were running around with this make shift soccer ball. It was out of control to see Baby Mia Hamm do her thing as I was trying to hold my laundry basket. Only in South Beach. And speaking of which...
This chick was inside there. She was by one of those giant washers. U know, tha kind that costs like $20 per wash, and when somebody uses them, they're usually putting every and anything inside of there. From floor rugs to hotel bed sheets to sneakers to pets...u know what I'm talking about. So as this girl was over there, I glance at her cell phone case. And bro, no lie, she had a Iphone case which had brass knuckles on it. I gotta pause right there....Alright. She had silver brass knuckles on tha end, dude!
Now, I always no matter where I live at, that I will always, absolutely ALWAYS have a special part in my body...I mean heart towards Miami women slash girls slash female. Said it once, and I'll say it again, Miami girls are some of, and depending who it is, tha hottest girls around, but boy, 305 women are truly tha most gangsta and down right feistiest chicks I've ever seen. Can I get an Amen on this! I mean, let's get real, sometimes u don't know what u gonna get. I've come across so many beauties who are dag gone near looking like a magazine cover one second, and who can not only pack a good punch, but in a milli...a milli...a milli...a milli-second are ready to throw them thangs! Fingers get to pointing, u start to here "What...What" or shall I say, "Que...Que!" Folks kicking off $200 pair of high heels...Folks get to cussing people out in Portuguese. And these girls are like "Undercover Gang Bangers". One moment, I'm talking to a girl, and thinking like, "I wouldn't mind dusting off her pipes." Tha next sentence in tha convo, she talking like she about to put two bananas and a smile into this other girl's car gas pipes! I wasn't even gonna get loose tonight, for real, I'm watching tha replay from tha super late Lakers/Mavs game from last night, but I need to bring folks more into what I see her in Miami. Let's go...
But for real, I love...or excuse me...like Miami females because they keep it so real. Too real for some, but...Ok. Here's another unsuspected example...
Now, about two days ago, it was raining like crazy down here in Miami. And if u been reading our diary, and just talking to anyone, u know that about 90% of tha people down here in Magic City, have been sick for at least a 3 day span during these last two weeks.
U know it's bad when u've been so sick that long, that u don't even remember how long ago it was since u've taken a shower! U laugh, but u can't take a shower, cuz if u come out in tha cold, u gonna get more sicker. I'm gonna say this, and I promise I'll get to this wild scene in a minute or two...I was freakin' messed up last week, and dude. I took everything. Eating fruit from Columbia...Eating freakin' organic fruit from Ecuador, which I won't do again, cuz a brotha was feeling like a real guerrilla warfare was going on inside of my core abs...I was taking or basically overdosing on Flintstones vitamins...Take my usual in tha morning, and then come evening, I was taking another dose. Then I messed up and ran out of tha Flintstones Complete bottle. Boy, I promise you, I began to shake that thang, and looked through tha partially torn suran wrapped protection covering, and it was like, "Noooo!" U drop tha bottle into tha garbage can, and then u just sit...wondering how can u score another hit of this. U think about tha schedules ahead...Tha Walton family ain't gonna be doing operations cuz it's a holiday Easter Sunday, but they got tha lowest price per, but I can't wait...So I decided to go to tha black market, and get this generic brand of my "fix", which claims to be just as good, give u tha strongest kick, and less per unit. Is it me or is that just too good to be true? So that's what I'm addicted to right now, generic plus name brand. No wonder I need an accountant!
But being sick stinks! U have to watch where u walk in ur place. If u do take a shower...it don't make no sense that in ur own place, u gotta wait 15 minutes after u take a shower, just to leave tha bathroom. As I noted before, I like to shower in tha dark, so after days of wondering when to use up my last pair of underwear, I decided to pinch my nose, and jump into tha shower. Man, after taking a luke warm one at that, I stayed in my bathroom for so long, I coulda went through Justin Timberlake's whole album just by waiting too see of tha "Coast was clear" temperature wise for me to step out in my birthday suit...and tie!! (Ha ha!! I need my own show, I mean somebody pleeease give me my own show!!) But it's so mind breaking...I was getting drunk off of Tylenol's Daytime Sizz....urpp. They had that new Citrus flavor, which was so delightful, that felt soothing like a Malibu and OJuice concoction. I was taking it every 6 hours, and then I looked and it said it was allowable to take every four, so a brotha was counting down tha seconds like I used to count down until the premiere of MTV's Fashionably Loud shows, and....3...2...1...I was hitting up tha cabinet, pouring and letting it flow like I was at a Miami bar-b-que, taking this medicine to tha head in my plastic shot glass, and licking tha bottom like I paid $20 for it at tha club.
Then being sick effects or affects (?), whatever, how u even get dressed. U don't wanna put on lip gloss or anything cuz, well, u're sick, and u might have to chopped off tha top of tha lip stick after u get well cuz...u're well, and germs kill. U don't know what to wear, overdress and u'll sweat like a guy going home to tha wifey without a gift on Valentine's Day! U underdress, and u'll be cold and be exposed to even more ger-mees. As my brotha Ant Skeezy, that's not his government name BTW, but as he would say..."It's a Catch-22". But its been crazy, I think 1 out every 2 people as had some kind of aliment recently. And tha funny thing about it, is its tha same symptoms. Sick for 5 days, it comes and goes, headaches, I had runny nose with no energy for anything...And I reluctantly admit, I do mean "any"thing! Take care of urself please. Boy, I feel like playing Drake's "Underground Kings" right now, and dedicate it to this one girl who LOVES this guy, but I only get one explicit lyric song per post, so til next time! That's my anthem right now though...
So keep that sick thing in mind as I continue about this story. I'm driving in this killa rain, I'm going up north on Red Road, as I'm heading up to Little Havana to a stop up there to...well, let's not get too official here tonight, I had to take care of something, how about that...I'm going up on Red, past Miami's craziest street of Bird Road. Alright. Now there's some construction and tha lanes are two lanes, which is rare to find a coming and going, one way up, and down street here in Sexyland. I notice that traffic is like slowing down very slowly, and I'm like "What tha fizzy?' Is a Kardashian doing a back flip up there or what? I continue at a crawl, and then a stop. I look and both lanes are at a stop. Man, this woman with gray hair, is out here in tha pouring rain, I mean POURING, and has traffic at a stand still. I glance at her, and no hobo, this woman is walking ultra slowly from tha middle of tha road, to tha side of tha road, with a freakin' raccoon in her hand! Not kidding...She's dragging this 'coon or muskrat by it's tail. My mouth literally dropped just like when my former homegirl Yvonne wore this "Little Black Dress" that made me regret tha fact that I gave up Jam and Jelly on my toast! Just like that, this was a flat out scene as well. So I'm stuck watching tha rain just plummet her like Michael Vick in tha pocket last year, without any protection whatsoever, this woman was robotting her way over to tha side, and just like typical Miami style, she flicked tha little rodent to tha side.
Now traffic's still stopped, ok...she then in tha middle of tha oncoming lane walks slowly with her hand pressed onto her bosom, and finally made it back to her car. She was shaking her head, and looked very sad. I couldn't believe what I was seeing either. So I guess, she must have hit this beast or saw it or something. But to be out there in tha pouring rain like that was suicidal. Plus, she was in tha middle of tha street. Something I won't ever forget...Huh. That's wild, here this lady was holding this armadillo in her hand, by its tail, and traffic came to a standstill. Then a few months ago, I was here in tha beach, and this woman was flashing her breasts to every car that past, and not one dag gone person stopped...well, I guess one did. Interesting.
Alright, time to wrap it up some...Thank tha Lord for real, for tha hookup on some great music. I went on a mini-vintage store spree, looking for CDs and old books. That's our therapy from tha madness Anytime u can get some music for a $1 u've been blessed. Great albums too. From Keane to Anita Baker to a whole lot of stuff. I got so much music, like 25 albums to listen too. Oh boy, to find tha time! One day I'm gonna list how we shop, and where we shop....Hummm....Humm....That sounds like a great post.
To Be Continued....
Maybe.
Austino Galaxia.
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