Shop Talk.

Huge Blow.

Okey Dokey.  We're back.  Our diary.  So what do we write about on today...it's just me and you anyways.  So many things to begin, from a wild dream this morning, for me all day having withdraws about not having one almond the entire day.  That hasn't happened since like...well, I don't even remember tha last time it did happen.  Let's have a little fun on tonight, I feel something in tha air, and we're gonna let our fingers just go, and see what happens.  Usually, don't we always say this, usually, when we don't know what to write about, something special occurs, so buckle up for another classic I'm sure...

(Huge Sigh!)

Alright, I'm just gonna let it go.  Now I've admitted more than a few occasions throughout this diary, our love for shopping.  Yes, I admit that I'm a recovering shopaholic...Yes, I admit that my hand still trembles whenever I get that Groupon deal for $20 for $40 worth of merchandise at Off Saks...And Yes, I've doubled back a few times telling salespeople to put things on hold, only to go back and tell them to take it off...Only to later go back and actually buying the item just because I went home and saw like Diddy or Enrique Iglesias was rocking it during an interview with Univision.  By the way, is it me, or does tha Univision Network really don't give a hill of capitol (Political Joke for tha day!) when it comes to interviews. I mean, somebody has to know what I'm talking about.  The other day when my guy won like $240 million dollars worth of lap dances, or something like that up in New York for tha lottery.  These cats from Univision was up in tha dude's apartment stairwell with all these cameras and stuff. I was like, "Dag gone".  Now I've been in some stairwells, and they aren't all like a day on the set of The Notebook.  Some of them smell, kids yelling everywhere, mouse traps with old cheese missing that looked like Jerry just pulled the three card monte on somebody, it can be rougher than going to Mickey D's during lunch hour and finding out they just ran outta meat.

So they put this Lebron/D Wade trap on my guy and his family, as they were walking in tha apartment building.  I tell you, some of our Espanol stations would go through tha lengths...I still remember this guy having one leg in a cast, up like in a Isosceles triangle (Yes, I remembered something from math class besides the minimum  people it takes to pass a note from one corner of the room to the other!), and on top of that his face was bloodied up, and his face was in a wrap like a gyro as well.  They still sticked tha mic in his face like whoa...All he could mustard up was like syllables.  To hear a grown man utter tha alphabet backwards in Spanish ain't a pretty sight let me tell you that.  U can be on the freaking  strectcher going to the ER and they will still ask you "Ah...Sofia o Daisy?"  Its krazy dude.

Getting back to my probl...I mean former shopping addiction, one thing about being a shopaholic is that you know the worth of a good, product or piece of clothing.  And can tell tha salesperson more about it, than they know.  "Yeah, so I heard that Tom Ford is moving to doing FUBU clothes, that are gonna be exclusively held in this store, what have u heard about it?"  That's when u usually get tha crickets sound coming out, and u get that awkward moment like when somebody who's been flirting with you like crazy tells you that they are in a relationship or are married, and u just look at them like an  Ivy Professor does during ur last presentation for Senior Seminar.  Its wild...Hold up, I gotta boil this water for dinner tonight.  And so what if it took me a four week course, and Saturdays spent watching Paula Deen to learn.  I know two things for sure in life...One,nobody can out boil me...And two, nobody can beat me in no Skee-ball!  Ha ha! How about that!!    Hold up...

Alright, we back...So shopping down here in Tha Magic City and the South Florida Metropolitan Area can be paradise, or it can be a flat out trip.  The other day I had my eye on this Mom and Pop store here in South Beach.  I love to pick out those joints whether for food or a good deal, especially when they ask if I want a "Free Waitress" with that..."Why of course, I thought it was included in tha bill!"  The other day though, fam, I almost snapped.  Now I've been in some of tha finest places to shop, Versace holdups, Tiffany and Co. to steal some blue boxes, this one place  up north where I can get  5 CDs, a plastic bag full of Atomic Balls and reupholstered couch for like $20.  No joke.  So when I stepped into this place, I was like they got some stuff in here, like vintage type items.  And then I flipped over the price, and I almost flipped.  $80...$120...$60....Half off $150.  But tha stuff wasn't even top shelf.  It was like you busting into Checker's and they wanna charge you Nobu prices for a Big Buford!

To make matters worse, and I'm not kidding, I considered asking them if they needed any help to help their business.  Not in tha "I wanna be a salesperson" tip, but on tha "I just got done watching Hotel Impossible, and in tha name of Harrods and Macy's, you guys need my help!"  (Oh, I can't wait to own a home in London, I really, really can't...)  I was digusted beyond belief.  After asking about this Trucker hat they my dude didn't really know the price of, and looked like he made it up after he looked at my kicks, he told me $25, and if I had two white gloves like Patrick Henry back in tha day, I probably wouldn't hit him with tha Coloniel Pimp Slap!  It's wild down here...

I was gonna keep this short, but I'm starting to fill it, and once again, who knows when this post my be my last post, so I'm gonna push through this, and give u an all-access pass into our solicit affair with Ms. Cash Register.

About a week or two ago, I really got a kind complement.  A lot of people talk about how we dress, and this and that.  And depending on tha mood it can go from Preppy Thug to DJ Booth to Struggling Hollywood Actor to  European Soccer Star, we are blessed in many ways, and goofy in that we like to have fun.  But this gent came into walked up on me, and gave us some brotherly dap with tha bro hug.  Asked what was up, and I knew he looked familiar, but I didn't know where.  So he told me that he taught me some things...Well, not everything, some things u need a girl and I better not say that...But he taught me some things from a previous "assignment".  And he told me...

"I remember you because you always were always looking fly."

So that was a great compliment...And an even more awesome one considering that I only met this guy like 3 times or less, and the last time I actually saw him was over TWO years ago.  Amazing, and humbling...really is.  So...

For one night only, I'm gonna release our style secrets to shopping to what looks good, and our little secrets to being tha best...you.  Clothes aren't everything, but u can say a whole lot from them.  And I know folks are always looking for change...I know I am whenever I'm walking through MIA airport, right on that SkyTrain that takes you to Terminal...Ah...Ok.  Never done this before.  So let's see how we do things...Hmmm?

Once again, this is just our opinions, so let's go...

- Do Shopping Up and Down.  Yeah, it's cool to only shop in tha luxury stores.  But sometimes it don't mean an Anna Wintour if you're the only one who can a) Afford it...or b) Knows its straight off of runway or the Resort collection from Valentino. A true fashionista should strive to mix and match.  Get you some high brand jeans or top, but then throw it on from a necklace from one of the street vendors on Ocean Drive, or from Goodwill.  You'll be suprised how good you can mix and match, and how sexy it can look.  Without breaking tha bank...Speaking of which.

- Follow Macklamore.  This guy has made a hand over fist killing rapping about the "thrift shop", but don't slip, u find some deals up in there. I'm gonna give u some secret spots, got a pen.  I used to hit up the Miami Rescue Mission religiously, all the time, because a stylist/teacher told me about it.  Now everybody goes there so u don't get no good deals.  My favorite thrift stores are: The Goodwill stores in Little Havana (That's a mega-one off of 8th Street), and up in Pembroke Pines off of University Drive and Pines Blvd.  The one up there has "happy hour" with 50% off everything...Discounted Saturdays, I might go up there this weekend u want me 2 hook u up?  They got crutches and everything dude, just in case ur girl catch u creeping!  Besides those two, and a Salvation Army about two blocks from them up there in tha Pines, I really like the store Out of The Closet.  They have locations nationwide, especially out in Cali, but they have spots down here in South Beach, Downtown, and there "charter" location in Fort Lauderdale aka Tha FTL (My other getaway spot besides "Tha Hamptons South" better known to you as Boca Raton)  Now u may look at me buckeyed like "secondhand", ewww...Yeah, but if I'm getting Armani Collezioni, Express, Gap, Hugo Boss and coming across Dolce and Gabanna, Valentino for Men, and other crazy designers ALL THA TIME, who's tha fool?!

- Be Original...And Cut! I say this in a two-fold voice.  Don't necessarily follow everything that's "in" right now.  Because that can be trendy.  Here in probably one of the most trendy cities, and perhaps the most trendiest of neighborhoods of South Beach, everybody can be cookie cut.  Get ideas, but do ur own thang.  I remember us on our hands and knees cutting up some old jeans, before the "Holy Moly" jean look was in.  Once I saw like dudes rocking them that weren't wearing them right, I had enough, and threw them in tha garbage.  Now one thing I haven't seen, is...Shhh...Bell Bottom jeans for guys.  I'm on a secret hunt for them.  Cuz I have a feeling they are gonna come back...because of us.  (Wink!)

-When it comes to Dressing...Toss Your Own Salad!  This is super important...That's a funny title ain't it, go ahead and laugh!  But u have to feel comfortable within ur own skin, and not just dress to impress somebody else.  If u feel good or ugly about urself, that's gonna show on the outside no matter how many duckets u drop.  If u don't like to rock suits, differentiate ur t-shirt and jean look.  (I.E. - Dress Shirt under tee, or Tee Shirt with Rock Bracelets, or T Shirt/Jeans/ Suit Coat)  Same with chicks, u don't always have to  wear clothes that show off u boobs or butt.  I think right now, if I was in school, I would approach immediately tha girl who wore a dress to class.  Cuz girls don't do that anymore, they always wearing jeans or pants, which is cool, but...

- Mystery is Sexy.  There's nothing like wondering what's underneath the layers of clothing on top.  Just that alone can make somebody fall in love with you.  From a relationship standpoint...If u're somebody who's  trying to get tha attention of a guy or girl who constantly is getting hit on, or having people throw themselves at them, believe u me, they are looking for more than just sex or a good "look".  When the trend is going one way, go the other way.  I guarantee you'll stick out more...now don't be wearing cowboy pants down here in Miami.  Cuz, Ah...once lady July hits, I ain't gonna help u when u pass out!  I only give CPR to females only, and even then, while they are on passed out on the concrete, a brotha will have them sign a contract about me catching any LTD's. (Lip Transmitted Diseases!)  Homie Don't Play That.

- Girls Dig Tha Curveball.  This is vice versa, but that title sounds better.  But don't be afraid to switch up ur mojo, in tha middle of ur mojo.  How many times have u seen a person who dresses down all the time, hit u up with a luxury getup, and become tha talk of tha party like, "I didn't know such and such looks so good dressed up."  Keep people on their toes.  I live by the model that, "Consistency is Sexy."  But an inconsistent blip in that consistency can sometimes be more sexier.  

- The Republic of Miami factor.  If u live down here in tha 305 u know that dressing one way or another can be a chore just because of the weather.  I know people always say, "I wish there were four seasons"...I might tell them, "There is one, off of Brickell Ave., and they have a bomb shampoo and conditioner kit inside their bathrooms!"  Let's be honest, Miami is all about Sex. People wear shoelaces to the grocery stores, bare chests are always around.  (Is it just me, but don't u wish the ones who actually show off their chest away from the sands of tha beach, actually do!  Why do the folks who have no business....Uggh.  That's a South Beach rant!)  But u have to adjust.  I really don't like to wear black, cuz one tha sun, and two, it has no personality for us at least, so I don't wear it as much...Unless it's our Emporio Armani Undies, in which u can see black all day and all night long.  I can say more about that, but let's keep this PG-13 tonight.

- Color makes a great threesome.  Ok, that PG-13 thang lasted less than 2 seconds...But I love color, and many peeps from Miami do also.  Color just makes u feel, happier.  Believe me when I say the colors u wear DO affect ur moods and personality swings.  Try it out, if u're always trapped in browns, and blacks, and grays.  If u aren't in a Johnny Cash tribute band or not making a "We Run This Town" video, then u need to take a shower in a bag of Skittles and take a bang out of life!

That's it.  I gotta go to sleep.  Hope u get a minor insight to our dressing habits.  To be honest, we don't think we're a guru or anything, we just go for a feel of who we are.  As we said, clothes just are an outward reflection of ur inside personality.  I believe that.  But more importantly...Have fun.  In Life.  And With Style.

And don't be afraid to wear it on ur sleeve.

Austino Galaxia.