Tha Yasella Dominguez Show.

Galaxian Note:  Well, we always like to make history whenever we can, so this post does just that.  Something has hit us on today after watching this program on Single Ladies.  Yes, us guys do every once in awhile want to get inside of the minds of the female sector.  But something is bubbling inside which I can't hold back any longer.  So...before I start my Sunday which may include a trip up to Ikea and to pick up some other nick nacks on today...For the first time...we are gonna jot twice in a 12 hour period.  With this being tha second.  Absolutely have no idea what's about to be written, or who we might offend, but when it comes to dating and this love thang...You KNOW we got some opinions!  So let's all just sit back, and enjoy what's about to transpire...

Alright...Fingers do all tha writing on this one...

(Huge Blow...)



And we're back from our commercial break,
Just wanna thank you for joining me on this special show.
For those who don't know who I am, u soon will,
I'm tha sexy TV host who'll soon make tha most dough.

Yasella Dominguez is my name, and this is my opening act,
Finally got off my toosh, after being years of acting all lazy.
Year after year, I used to tell my girlfriends that I needed my own show,
And since I'm half Puerto Rican and Brazilian, I can talk for hours about being crazy!

After paying my dues, writing small blogs, here and there,
I decided to take upon myself that next step.
Miami was a choice of mine, but I wanted something more with this fantasy,
Ended out in LA where In-N-Out has burgers with a cheese so Jacker Pep.

Luckily I'm such a looker, not 2 be conceited, but I am so fine,
So after one glance tha Producers were like, U got tha gig.
Tongues were hanging out, as I was giving them my first audition,
My Salt and Pepper hair was so perfect, I think they thought it was a wig.

Got my boobs done when I was like 18, I mean who doesn't,
My niece asked me a little bit ago, how much I paid for mine.
Just flat out told her, that I didn't pay anything for this doll job,
If ur beautiful, then a Sugar Daddy you will magnetically find.

That was a bad relationship, dating somebody just for his money,
Just one in a looong list of good loves that ended up turning so bad.
All of my girlfriends have somebody, and are at least dating,
But how come no good guy is out there for me...I mean, how sad.

I got tha looks, the personality, the love of Jesus Cristo,
So what if I love to add Tango to my love of Hip Hop.
Sometimes I think I'm too good for any guy to truly understand me,
LIV and The Viper Room constantly are where my bubbles of luv seemingly Pop.

Instead of getting vindictive and angry, I turn lemons into lemonade,
Tha color of Pink, I don't drink anything tha color of yellow.
That's just because a old boyfriend was a former VP of Ferrari,
He first scooped me up in that color car, and now I hate amarillo and that cheating fellow.

Now on this November day, we are on tha set of my first show,
Tha crew asked me what I wanted to talk about first.
Didn't know if I should be more open, and talk about my childhood,
How I used to skinny dip, cuz no running water meant a constant quench of thirst.

Or how I should won Miss Universo back in tha day,
But instead it went to this chick from Madrid, Spain.
So what if she was pretty, and answered her questions perfectly,
I tossed dishes in tha air, all tha while singing Gene Kelly's "Singing In Tha Rain."

That's all Squashed Mangoes, that's in tha past,
My brain was at a fart, until I got a sign like, sent from above.
Girl, you've been through it all in your life, talk like ur on tha streets,
Right there and then, I knew what to talk about...My life dealing with Love.

Now my girlfriend who has a girlfriend, Yes she is Bye,
Told me about this one guy who lives out in South Beach, in Miami.
She said he'll be a perfect guest on your first show, he's really funny,
Plus he luvs Senoritas so much, he once applied to host tha Latin Grammys.

They told him that you need to speak Spanish fluently, so sorry,
Yet as fate would have it he ran into Marc Anthony on Ocean Drive.
He told him tha situation, and Marc smiled through his grey tinted sunglasses,
And now he's using Rosetta Stone, cuz he got a deal 2 be tha host...in Twenty 25.

After hearing that story, I thought this guy must have some plantains,
I was then forced to do some more research on this guy with a don't quit 'tude.
Little did I know, he had an entire website devoted to Luv and Fun,
Called my agent on her boat, and to her to get me tha number to this dude.

She gave it to me, and we talked a little bit,
And now sitting here in this studio is none other but Tha Zen Master of Fun.
It's ok, Ladies, don't be mad, you can give tha man a little bit of applause,
He might be a little shy cuz he's truly outnumbered... 250 women to only one.

Austino Galaxia, glad to have you on my show,
How are you feeling on this beautiful day?
"Well, Yasella, I'm feeling pretty darn good right now,
This crowd looks like a perfect Match.com profile utopia...all without tha monthly pay."

It's good that you feel that way, cuz I'm gonna be real,
Us ladies on today, are about to put it on ya, hope u ready.
And when I say put it on ya, I'm not talking about when tha lights are turned off,
Or when I'm on top of u, whispering, Right there...Now if u could just hold steady.

All these women in tha crowd, and myself included,
Have some serious issues when it comes to dealing with u men.
Not just tha stupid ones like no showers, or tha constant burps,
I can deal with those, although picking up clothes off tha floor only takes a simple bend.

We want to talk about why guys don't appreciate us women, for real,
And why guys only see us as something as either their Mama or their Sex Toy.
How come so many drop dead gorgeous women are still single around tha world,
Every chica in here wants a real man that is not a silly boy.

(Clap, Clap, Clap), "Ladies calm down in here,
I'll try my best to speak up for each and every guy.
But first, Yasella, do you have some Vita Coco, I need a drink for this."
Are u sure u want Vita and not Vodka?...This may be ur last toast before you fry.

So Galaxia, we'll get u your Vita Coco, but before all that,
What gives you tha right to write about Love, like ur some kind of guru.
Was going through all your stories, and experiences and u still single honey,
If u were a Love Professor, ur textbook seems outdated, like old rice in Peru.

"First of all, (Aaahhh!), thanks for tha drink, and having me on tha show,
I don't consider myself somebody who knows it all when it comes 2 this luv thang.
For some odd reason, Heaven wrote this crazy script that stars me in it,
On tha cover of the packet it had my pic, next to tha titile, 'Love and Tha Constant Fling.'

All I do whether I'm writing or if I'm talking is tell u what I've been through,
You have to admit that a lot of these situations are really beyond words.
Girls showing us nipple rings, lifting up shirts so I can see their perfect booty,
Yapping it up with a doll one day, then the next learn she has found her love bird.

Its been some hard lessons, but it ain't all my fault believe you me,
You women have a whole lotta wild ways as well.
Society blames it only on tha fellas like it's always their fault,
But for temptation to really occur, there's two co-hosts...not just tha man who has fell."

Hold up!  Hold up!  Now tha San Juan is about to come out in me,
All you guys want is sex and somebody who can clean up after you.
Every guy thinks that us ladies should look like a beauty all tha time,
This one guy broke up with me at tha gym...Saying sweat makes u look ugly...P.U.

"Yeah, but...", Just wait and I'm not finished just yet,
Down in Brazil, it's like you have to be perfect just to get a simple date.
Then once somebody actually looks stunning with a good personality,
Even the good guys get all scared and intimidated, and don't step up to tha plate.

I speak for a lot of women out here, when I say that,
Beauty on tha outside is simply just part of this Love game.
But when it becomes the emphasis of everythang, visualizing me post-baby,
Something is wrong with tha picture, and this we immediately have to tame.

"Ok, but let me say this Yolanda.", It's Yasella, see there,
You can't even get my name right, sounds just like a Miami kid.
Thinks he has it all with his money, and a few toys and some abs,
But Oye, this is sexy auction which you'll never be able to afford to bid.

"Just gonna let that slide, I didn't come on this here show to fight,
What about how you chicken heads be putting urself out here like you do.
Wearing tight clothes to church, rubbing ur boobs on us at work,
Then how about that sly touch on our arms, when u say, 'I like ur shoes.'

You say it's not all about tha physical, but look at tha image u present,
I was on Collins Ave. and this girl had on a bikini that fit her yams like floss."
Galaxia we're on tha air, so watch ur language, tha FCC warned me about you,
"Sorry, but I'm just fired up...but tell me that she wasn't trying to entice a naked salad toss!!

Women say tha same thing, I want to be treated like a person and not a fantasy,
But when a guy steps up and wants to know you, u all put up ur guard.
I mean how in tha Galaxy is a man gonna get into tha love house of ur soul,
When everytime he comes 2 ur place you talk to him in tha front yard."

I see your hand in tha audience, but let me get to this first,
Cuz, Galaxia that's because of all of tha pain that u past guys have put us through.
One time this guy told me I was too successful, and he couldn't live up to me,
So instead he went next door, and slept with tha $5 and hour babysitter named Freaky Sue.

Or another time I thought everythang was perfect, was all engaged,
Even down to having tha Wedding date that was a May day on tha shores of Cancun.
Next thing I know it, his Mother ruined the whole relationship, Saying,
You shouldn't married that Hussy because she was born under the half crescent Moon.

Guys need to be men, and need to stop being Mama's boys,
When you can't make decisions on your own, me personally can't deal with tha immature.
It's like you men, want everythang, but also want nothing at tha same time,
A Good Girl, A freak, and A second mama...Please, u can hit tha (Beep) door.

"If u say so, Yasella, I mean like whatever...
Nowadays us guys have so much to live up to.
I got resources, and been blessed in so many ways,
I mean I just picked up a Hot Wheels Lamborghini...in tha coveted color of dark blue.

Then you girls want Michael Kors bags, and Marc Jacobs watches,
If I buy you a pair of heels, you go H.A.M on me cuz tha bottom ain't red.
Your last boyfriend treated you like dirt, and didn't even give u a V-day gift,
And now that u with a Baller, ur designer itch somehow constantly wants to be fed.

I don't get that Yasella, and you know it's true."
Child, it ain't nuthing wrong for a girl wanting tha finest things in life.
It ain't tricking if you got it, isn't that what you hustlers say,
Any sexy bonita wants to be chased as if she's a future girlfriend and not your wife.

Honey, I saw you with you hand up earlier, introduce urself first,
'Yes, I'm Priscella and I'm also from South Florida, but reside here in tha Hollywood Hills.'
That's cool, then we both have to share some stories and a drink in tha back for sure,
By how ur wearing that BCBG dress, I know that your life has been full of thrills.

'Thanks, Yasella, but my question is for Mr. Galaxia...
Do you honestly believe that a man can be faithful to just one girl?'
Huh.  Thanks, Priscella for your question...Well, Galaxia ur now on tha hot seat,
I know this ain't tha 90s, but I know, Girlfriend just rocked your world!

"To be honest, I believe that a guy can be faithful to tha right girl..."
Stop tha corn meal for tha Tamlales right there!...What does that mean...right?
Like do u mean that tha girl has to be wholesome like some undriven snow,
Or does that mean that she has taking off her dress in tha bedroom every single night?

"Well...that's for every single man to define for himself,
For me that means somebody who u can trust, and who is simply put really cool.
Somebody who ain't always striving for attention wherever we go,
A gal who takes a dip inside, and not constantly walking around tha hotel Setai pool.

Once a guy finds somebody he knows has his back,
There isn't a single thing that he won't do for his now found lovely babe.
He'll post pictures on Insta Gee, Change his Facebook stauts 2 'In a Relationship',
May even shut down tha 4-oh-5 here in LA just so he can hold a ticket taped parade.

The tough thing is finding somebody you can trust 100%,
I know in my experiences, sometimes girls do stuff to us, that can be misleading.
Strong flirtations can lead to some precarious situations,
Maybe its not there stomach, but"...Watch it!..."There rose bush that needs feeding."

I have a feeling that we gonna have to have you back on tha show,
Cuz we're running outta time, but can you stay off air, for a question or two.
"Sure, Yasella, I'm out here in LA for the week, just chillin',
My only goal is to find me a USC Trojan girl who refuses to wear tha UCLA Bruin blue."

Ok, today has been a good show, thanks for joining me,
Tell me this ain't been crazy for it being my first time.
Talked to you all tomorrow....(And Cut!),
Now that we off tha air, u little scum bag, I can really show how my mouth can shine.

"U talk a big game Shorty, let's see if you can back it up."
You bet I can, maybe I'll show you...Hun, hit this loser with a question he won't forget.
'Yes, my name is Denise, from New York City, and I actually have two questions for you,
One, does race matter in a relationship? And what about money?...Now I'm gonna sit.'

"Well, personally I see tha Galaxy in nothing but colors meaning,
I think it's great when people can interact with others from different cultures and backgrounds.
Many of tha girls, I've interacted with are from different places around tha globe,
Besides, we are all black when tha bedroom lights are turned down!

Jokes aside though, my thang I'll tell anybody is don't limit urself to who u might meet,
Don't just say he or she gotta be this race or this tall, or love only 2Pac and not Biggie.
Or shop only at Neimans and not Bloomingdale's,
Or luv Whole Foods so much that they won't date somebody who likes tha Piggly Wiggly.

Be open!  Cuz u never know who God may chose for you,
Your best gift sometimes may be wrapped in tha paper of tha Sunday Comics Strip.
Archie's and Peanuts may be just tha test 2 see if ur willing to take a risk,
When inside u actually have two tix to Dubai where u can all day gamble, and take a Martini sip.

Hopefully that answers you first question, Denise...
Now tha second one is one that I can relate to in all too many ways.
Living in Miami Beach, Florida can mess up with you mind,
Folks skip work or college class just cuz that was penciled in as a not-2-miss beach day.

Money or more importantly where I live, the appearance of money is everywhere,
I think tha real people who got loot feel there's no need 2 let people know.
Sometimes folks, especially us guys buy all these things, just to impress certain girls,
When all in all, u speeding down Washington Avenue in a Tesla is nothing but a show.

Now...Maybe u can help me out on this Yasella, but here's tha deal,
Why do girls want tha flash, but also want something so over tha top real?
Do women want to be associated just with tha allure of money?
Then get mad when a guy is broke, but was stunning cuz he thought that would attract tha deal?"

Interesting.  See, Galaxia, I find that money only gives you more options,
I've been there on tha prowl for a rich chico, so to speak.
But when Goya beans begin to boil, it only really matters how that guy treats his gal,
It's great to have dineros, but is it worth him being gone 6 days out of tha week?

The problem is, and I know u gotta head down to USC's campus to find u a girl,
But Galaxia guys think that u gotta buy love when it comes to us girls of Top Shelf wine.
When in actuality it's confidence and tha willingness to be urself that we treasure most,
It helps to be funny as well...but if ur true to those things, and u'll get a great girl who is ultra fine.

Money is a problem, only if tha parties allow it to be,
Last time I checked, I've never seen checks sleeping with somebody in bed.
And since we're off tha air, I can really get loose on this subject,
Money may show u use ur brains, but it can never, ever give good head.

"Girl, you are too much."...I know Galaxia,
I think that's enough.  Ladies, tell me things didn't get off ur chest.
Give a hand for Galaxia flying in from tha East Coast,
Although 'Dre and Snoop say it right, tha West Coast is tha best.

"What u know about Snoop and 'Dre?  U don't look tha type."
Oh, just because I'm smart and look good, I can't get down.
Maybe u should get to know me better, instead of judging me by my curves,
Besides one night hanging with me, and u'll never ever want to leave this town.

"Well, since tha audience just left, why don't you give me a tour?
There's nobody who I would rather see LA with than a sexy, shall we say Host.
You can show me what makes this town so special, and unique,
And maybe in tha morning I can spread a little grape jam on your toast."

You for real?...Alright then deal,
Let me go to tha back and get my purse, and we can leave.
Get yourself ready, cuz when a guy's with me he becomes hypnotized,
With just tha smell of my perfume making him always wanting to cleave.

I'll be back.  (Click-Click)  "Man....
Boy, she know she looks good walking in those heels.
I'm out here in LA, bout to kick it with a flat out 10,
Plus she's experience in how life should be lived, she has a perfect feel.

Just know this is about to be a crazy experience, just know it,
Sure we gonna talk and giggle until the Sun goes up and back down.
Like a dream come true, being with somebody who can relate u know,
When that happens, even from a friend level...gone are all those left out frowns.

I'll never forget being on this set in LA,
Yasella's first , and for some reason I was chosen as her first guest.
Talking about love and relationships, and what I think,
Fun is Love.  And u gotta go through all tha indescribable tests.

Just never know where u might find a friend or a true love."
Alright, Galaxia are you ready for this town to experience our fun-filled blow.
"OMG!  You are fine as I don't know what...
I am officially ur biggest fan..And this Sunday is when I fell in luv with...

Tha Yasella Dominguez Show.