Ghostwriter.

Ah...how's should I's do zhis?  Press ah...en-turr?  No...I'm a gonna just a zalk like eye's a zalk...or vice ah...versa.  Anyways...

Zhis is a first for zhis ah...di-a-ree.  But on zhis night...What's up ah...ladies!  (Hehe...) Oh, yes...on tonight, zhis di-a-ree will have a...how's to put zhis...we will have a guest writer...a guest ah...star...a great man.  Zhe best in zhe world I have been called.  Yes.  And also's zhe...sexiest spy around.  My name, u ask...it's a simple...

Yammi.

Do you's a remembers muah?  How can u a forget?!  U see's before's all this boo-hoo stuff, before all zhis ah...poetry of um...21 and Zha Climb, zhis diary was all about me!  I enjoy's ah, every's night pulling up zhe diary to see me star in zhis show.  Galaxia, he's a...how do us Canadians put it...in French we call it "Doux".  So on tonight's I have Galaxia's prize ah...possession. His lap-top.  And we're gonna zell you's what's a been going on...he's been quite ah...bu-see.  But I've been on it, and will zell u how's it's really going down.  Is zhat Fish and Chips?  Cool...

Before I ah...continue.  Let me explain some stuff.  First off, I'm ah...emotional...at Austino Ga-la-cee-ya, because if you followed our TV show drama, he left me at an important ah...mo-ment.  I was just about to ah...how you's Americans say...ah...I was about to "Get it in".  Yes, zhat's it.  I was about's to 'get it in' with zhe beautiful Julia Angelica Gutierrez.  Yes, and right when...

(Girl, you're my Angel, You're my darling An-gel.  Closer than my peeps you are to...)

Ah, here she is right now calling ah...me.  One moment.

(Hola, my Brazilian beauty!  Ah...repeato mamacita.  Oh....Oh...So you have wrecked zhe Aston Martin.  Uh-huh.  Are you ok?.....Huh...So ah...u're gonna be late tonight for dinner...Ah..are you gonna wear zhat one...Yes...YES!  Alright.  You's gonna make it up to me's ah...right?...Well, Zhe Boss is gonna be hot but...Say Whah...Well, she can come too I guess.  Ok.  Hawaiian Tropic....And she does...with Gummie Bears...Oh, baby, I ah...likes you.  One day, I'll say it, but you knows how I feel.  But honey...)

Sorry, but ah...zhis night is gonna be a great night.  But Sir Galaxia, stopped zhe show right as I was getting very cornbread and ah...greens...Did I get it right?  With Julia.  She's so beautiful, definitely somebody zhat is  Galaxia's type, which has been a hot topic of ah...sorts huh.  People always stop me on zhe street and asks what's it like to follow Galaxia and what is his real type of girl.  I just tell him, if you can ah...count to ten, he'll give u a call!  Ha, ha!  I'm so ha ha!  He's around a lot, likes on today...I was ah...following him here in ah...South Beach.  Or how he likes to a call it, "Zhe Land of Zhe Beauti-ful Pee-ple", and zhis like Titanic open air bus buggy was next to ah...him.  And it was filled with nothing but ah...girls in tiny bikini's and zhey were dancing, and I saw some words like zhe "Clevelander" on zhe side or something.  He sees ah...so much, I talk on zhat in a moment.

You want to know, what is zhis guy really like.  What have I found him, ah...to be.  After a following him for some months, I found him to be...like weird.  Not in zhe War...War...What's zhe name?  Oh, yes, Warhol sense.  Nor is he like superthug either.  He's actually in between and on both extremes if zhat sounds well.  One moment he's laughing...zhe ah-ther he's quiet and wants to be alone.  One moment he feels like zhe gift to zhe Galaxy, zhe next well...he feels like he's zhe gift to zhe Galaxy.  I think zhat his confidence in "anythings possible" comes from his road.  I think he's obsessed with ah...having toodles.  Or having fun.  Sometimes zhat's so hard, when he doesn't think nobody else wants to enjoy life as he does.  I can see why.  That might be what he here for so...

But he's like what u read, but he's also...more zhan u read.  He really talks to strangers a lot.  Just last night, he was in zhe Pooblix or Publix groceries and was talking for several minutes about zhe Lakers.  Which I don't know either, how Galaxia can like zhe Lakers and zhe Heat, but zhat's why he's strange.  Zhe guy was from Santa Monica, California, which is where Galaxia once wanted to move to.  So zhey talked about hoops, but a lot of people approach him in one way or zhe other.  It's quite zhe intrigue.

We gonna fill you in on some ah...personal stuff, u can't find anywhere.  Ah...let's see...what hasn't been said...Well, he actually almost stopped writing zhe other day.  After his last post, he felt like he's been um...too real.  He writes from his heart, and he wonders if he should just stop as in a "I can't say no more" sense.  I don't know how much he has in zhe ah...gas tank.  But, zhe time is getting short.

He is falling in love with zhis Chicken Philly Steak thing whenever he goes out to eat.  Zhe other day he had one in a wrap.  Pardon me, but we don't eat zhis in my homesland of's Canada.  But now zhis hybrid is what he looks for when eating out.  Must be zhe peppers....I know people know he likes to go thrift and vintage shopping...Zhe other day he pick up some Hugo Boss, almost a Dolce & Gabbana shirt for like $6 as well.  He has found zome stuff u won't believe.  Also, one thing you's may not a knows, is he is collecting zhe First Seasons of some of his favorite shows.  Like Danger Mouse, What's Happening, Sex and Zhe City, now he has found ah...Entourage and please don't say to anyone please, but...Desperate Housewives?  Zhis guy is...one twinkie away from zhe asylum.  One twin-kay away...

Zhere's a lot of zhings I've learned from following zhe guy called Austino Galaxia.  How about...he sometimes eats waffles without ah...syrup.  How he do zhat, I don't knows...

His favorite magazine of zhe mo-ment is...People en Espanol.     He reads zhem for inspiration for his style, wardrobe and home decor in terms of color design and fashion ideas...and I guess zhe chicas don't hurt either.

It takes Galaxia about 2 hours to write a post.  People don't really realize how much ah...time it takes to paint a masterpiece.

Ah...one of his dream jobs is to be a late night TV show host.  Interesting...

I'm spilling too much about him's but...

One of his goals is to try every ah di-nur in Miami...

While after doing some re-search, I found out zhat he was absolutely, insanely intrigued about visiting zhe city of...

Monte Carlo.

Zhat's city is ah...beautiful.  I once knew a girl named Claudia who once...ah, maybe later...maybe, later....

See, he hasn't wrote about some of zhis stuff, so I must tell. Like how last night I "heard" he dreamed about hanging out with James Bond on an espionage.  Ha!  Bond...Zhat guy stole my fame...I'm zhe best! Me!...

His dream first date is one where zhe beauty makes him laugh and wears...no makeup.  Not ah...jokee-joke on zhat either.

Zhe next hairstyle he wants to try may be zhe Gumby high-top fade or...

Zhe Jerry Curl.  Ah...what's zhat?

I wanna say ah...more, but I gotta go, so I'll leave's u with a few zhoghts...

Galaxia is zhe only person I know who showers in...zhe dark.  Never in zhe light...Never.

Zhe next time Galaxia does ah...Kary-oh-kee...zhe first song he will request will be...

No Doubt's "It's My Life."

Zhis guy claims to be a Skee-Ball enthusiast.

He thinks he's gonna be zhe first writer to be on zhe cover of Gee Que.

While he has nicknames of Pooh and "Oh"...his favorite nickname might actually be...ah...

"Flash."

Galaxia owns no pet...but if he would to ah...get one, he constantly says he can see himself with a cat...

By zhe way, he wants to have one on a leash.   Zhese South Beach guys, I tell ya...where's zhe real men?

And last but not least...

Even though he's one day gonna get a purple Ferrari...his dream car is actually a....

Koenigsegg?

Alright.  Time to ah...go.  Have a party to attend...plus I got to save myself for zhe Ms. Ju-lee-ya.  Zhis was ah...cool.  Just a few secrets on zhe guy known as Austino Galaxia.  But just as I've learned...once u think you's got him figured out, zhen he comes out with something else.  Love him or hate him...but know one zhing...

It's always an adventure.

Always.

Yammi.