Alright.
We're writing this almost in a blur. Basically we just woke up from a late or early evening nap. Secondly, we've been under tha weather tha last few days so I don't even remember too much. And thirdly, we don't know how to go about tonight's post so...we shall see what will happen.
I guess we'll just write from our heart, at least tha part that we can remember...
I don't know if its been tha medicine or what, I don't think so, but as of recently we've had some very interesting dreams during our naps and nightly sleeps as of late. Let's see, we've had like three dreams where it's like we're about to be on tha verge of something. I say that cuz one dream was us being on one of our basketball teams and the setting was right before our team ran out before tha game. Others had tha same feeling of like right before sumthing was about to occur. Then its like I'm hanging out at my old crib, and I'm like friends with all these different types of famous people and celebrities. Not kidding. No idea what's about to jump off, but there's a sense that something unique is about to happen. Sumthing very unique.
Our life is...different. Not a brag or boast, but just is. We're always talking about us and different episodes with girls and stuff. I probably talk too much, but tha things we encounter. Just today, I was coming home and was on "Tha Big Bridge" aka Tha A1A bridge that connects the mainland over to our neighborhood of South Beach and 5th street. Traffic was pretty close at a standstill, and I was over in tha left lane taking tha exit to Alton Road. While I was coming Eastbound, I could sense this car across tha big median possibly eyeing us. Please bear with us tonight, I'm fighting to write and get our thoughts together so please be patient...So as I'm banging Omarion's "Entourage" classic, I look over, something I rarely do when I feel like somebody's watching us while we're in our ride. As I look over, I see these two girls in a car. Mind u, this is over a pretty good size median that's separating traffic. I glance over and catch eyes with tha girl in tha passenger seat. Her friend is like talking to her, but she's looking over our way, with her black sunglasses on. She turns even more intently our way, and give a slight head nod like, "What's Up!" And she ducks her head and sunglasses down some, and gives the slightest yet most flirtatious double raise with both of her eyebrows. I began to smile, and shake my head, as traffic was moving on, "Gotta Go", u know, but it's interesting when u feel like all eyes are on you...especially from tha attractive opposite sex....I mean...
This past Sunday, I was a little embarrassed. I'm up at tha Triple A for the Heat/Bobcats game. And I'm talking on tha phone inside of tha Gate 3 Premium seating lobby, answering a call, and after I'm done talking I look to my left, and I pause kind of sheepishly cuz these two Hispanic Mamacitas are like gawking at me in a dead stare. I had no idea they were looking at us, and for how long, so I just naturally asked, "How are you all doing?" One of them responded, "We're doing fine...How are you doing?" Yada, Yada, Yada...But we are used to it, but u still don't get used to it u know. I really don't wanna turn our diary into a love diary or lovefest in terms of relationships, but when things happen we have to write. It's our diary and well, this is real life...so might as well get loose right.
Jealousy.
Oh yeah. This one trait can ruin friendships and especially relationships...Dag Gone, Lebron got smacked upside tha head again?!! He's gotten tha "Oops Upside Tha Head" every rip tha last four games!...But this J-Word has messed with me a lot. I wonder has anybody else like had a "crush" or liking for somebody and been geeking them all up as this mini-goddess or god, like they're tha most sexiest thing created since tha Google Maps App, and then be introduced to who that person is dating...I'm about to get ultra-real 2nite...then be introduced to tha person who they're in tha relationship with and have been flat out flabbergasted! Ur just standing there with ur mouth at a standstill like traffic on tha 405 freeway in L.A., but inside ur mouth is as wide open as a Video Vixen saying "Aah" in tha back of a VIP section of a South Beach club during Memorial Day Weekend. I see this stuff only happens to me. I have no problem talking about it, cuz many a times, I've been almost dessip backwards over tha situation. But why?
Then u begin to downgrade tha person u had the Orange Crush on. Not even knowing tha....I remember this one time....It never stops does it! I'm telling u, it's never ending with stories and us... I was with my guy, and it was this girl, I thought was a slept on beauty. (Can't u tell that's my type) She had red hair, an absolutely uniquely built yet flawless face. Now that I think about it, she was built physically like ah, Christina Hendricks, from Mad Men, but I always remember her from one of my and my Mama's favorite shows Kevin Hill. She always had a friend with her, her BFF or GFF or whatever. So I already knew that I would have to go through tha Secretary of Defense if I wanted to drop my A-bomb on her! To get to one, u gotta go through two...Oh, tha perils of life.
So through tha grapevine, or TMZ, I found out that she had a boyfriend. Which is mad cool. I only want that best for whomever. But for some reason, I wanted to see who this guy was to be with this beauty who could win any cowgirl contest. Anyhowser, by chance me and my guy happen to be up in this one joint, and she was in tha same place...with (Huge Sigh!) her girl, as usual...We chillin' and what have you, and next thing I know it, this dude straggles in. Me and my dude are looking...My angel then gets up and gives this guy, I do mean italics when I say this guy, a hug and a kiss of sorts. I look at my guy, and am like, "U gotta be kidding me?" Gots 2 be...Not only was I stunned like a Stone Cold Stunner, but I was hotter than a party thrown by Bacardi in tha Summertime. I felt like throwing my shoes at him, like old dude did George W. a few years ago, but I thought twice. It was a crazy scene.
But jealousy dude. That was one of tha few times that I let somebody's happiness effect my own...for a moment at least. It showed me what attraction can do and all, but it also taught me how being jealous of somebody can make u downgrade another person or two. So now, I was basing what type of person this former Angel was, just how her boyfriend was dressed? This junk happens all tha time...U go out with a girl who dresses kind of revealing, and tha guy is looking like Urkel, then people make assumptions that she's a golddigger only with him for tha money or what not. Things happen, and what I'm learning when somebody u like or who likes u, is already in a relationship is sometimes it's not about a person being better than you, but simply getting to that other person before u did. In other words, timing plays a crucial role. Enough on that.
One more thang on a topic I have no business talking about...but I've always wondered...should I say this or not...U have to be strong within to be with some people, and u have to know that going in. Just being real...As a guy, who's seen and have been through a lot (That doesn't sound right, but whatever), I'll be a fool, not to desire a girl who somebody else doesn't want. U know what I mean. I mean, a girl would want some kind of man, who's attractive to not just her, but at least one other person besides his mama! Somebody may argue me on that, but to me that means that ur not self-confident within urself, and are afraid that somebody else is gonna take that person away, which is bad thinking on ur part cuz if ur taking care of business and treating a person with respect, as a king or queen, then a) they won't leave or b) if they still leave after all that, then u don't wanna be with that type of person anyway. Fin!
But u want, at least I want to feel, like I'm with someone of...value. That's good right there. When u have or are trying to get something of value, there's gonna be a lot of hatred and jealousy surrounding that. Everybody who smiles in ur face, and pats u on tha back cuz ur got urs or getting married, don't necessarily mean it. Same thing with girls, I've seen girls smile in another gal's face and tha moment their shadow passes through tha doorway, they all gibber gabbing about her. I've heard that "a good man is tough to find", so u best believe that if u have someone of...value. Somebody's gonna be upset, or wonder "why not me", or "how come she gets all tha ballers" or "she don't know how to put it on a guy like that". U know why I know girls do it? Cuz guys do it all tha time!! And being around certain girls, I know...Us guys are quick to downgrade a dude, as I aforementioned, if we think he's with a hottie that's "above" him. I don't know why I'm writing all this but...
I guess I'm just trying to say that relationships are interesting, and u have to be strong within them. But one way to overcome haters or jealousies within friends or families, is to expect them. If u want a creme de la creme type of mate, then u should already know what comes along with that, besides a Black AmEx bill full of Louis bags! Some guys and girls just attract a lot of attention from tha opposite sex, and it does no good to get upset when somebody is gawking at ur girl on Ocean Drive, when before u had her, u were doing tha same! I'm gonna say something personal right here, I've always wondered if I could date a girl who would want to pose naked say for Playboy or whatever. Or even be a stripper at tha Pink Pussycat or whatever. Tha main reason guys don't want their girl to do those things is that they don't want their girl to be naked and have all these guys looking at her "goods" and stuff. And I get that a little bit...But I believe it's absolutely up to tha girl. And I think, us guys have to be more confident in ourselves to know that we are treating this girl so right, that she wouldn't even think about leaving. Guys, myself included, have a power thing where we want what's ours to be ours...to have "something" for ourself. But if u've been around numerous naked models like us, or been in Europe or heck even the South of Fifth beach area here in South Beach u see folks naked all tha time. So instead of fighting to own somebody's body, I'd rather fight to own tha most important feature of any woman...
Her heart.
This is just me. Jealously can kill u man. U have to leave it alone, and realize that ur time is coming. Or if ur with somebody, and they are seemingly getting constant attention, take it as a compliment for one. And two, realize that u need to treat that person like they are tha most special person in tha world, cuz their is competition waiting for u to slip up. It's gonna take a very special person to be with me. That person may be soaking this all up, and think, "I'm tha one" who can handle all this. Which may be true. I may even be alienating some by being so up front on so many real issues in life, and in our heart.
But there comes a time in all of our lives where u have to look in tha mirror and realize that u are special and unique. And that u won't settle for nothing but tha best for you. If nobody else tells u that, u have to believe that urself. Once u believe that...u start to dream about it...and once u dream about it...they begin to happen.
They claim step by step u gain success.
And only success can be gained by stepping over...hate.
Austin(o) Lamont Williams Galaxia.
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