127 Minutos.

4:30 am.

Yep.  Who would've thought that I would be writing at this time of the day or night or whatever.  But we are...After waking up in the middle or should I say back nine of this night/morning, there is something in tha air, to just write or vent or get some things off our chest.  This may turn out to be our last post...or it might turn out to be our best.  NO gimmicks...NO poems...NO solicitations...And Shirts and bottoms, as always are optional.  But you are about to get 100% me.  May be long...or it may be short, but we've been...Ahh...let's just get to it.  I hope I don't get into too much trouble, but...I don't care, anymore...Perhaps in too many ways...

Our diary is getting wild ain't it?!!  The goal of our diary as we've mentioned before time and time again is to capture our life in a different way, of course.  But to do it in a way that captures the ups and downs of somebody who's gonna really make it "big" someday, but do it in a real time sense.  As u know I'me a junkie slash fiend when it comes to Autobiographical books...Hey, it may be early in tha morning, but I guess my soul's spellcheck never sleeps!...Like we've been saying, everybody tells their story...after tha fact.  Which is fine, it's awesome that people even share intimate details concerning their life, but wouldn't it be cool to have a first hand account of like ur favorite celebrity or favorite beach crush while they were I guess paying their dues, or while they were getting rejections on the casting call couch.  Anybody, well maybe not anybody, but it's easier to talk about things after u've gone through them, but it takes a whole lot of Blue Diamond Almonds to talk about them while u're going through them.  So that's where we come in evidently.  Somebody has to tell things like they are.  There are three things that would make a diary, a great diary, whether privately or publicly, at least in our opinion.

1.  You have to have wild stories.

2.  You have to have guts to share experiences that may be embarrassing or times when things didn't go ur way.

3.  You have to do it in way that's different from the normal.  'Tom ran...See Tomwalk...See Tom catch',  type of way.  

I question myself a lot.  Just about 99% of the time, and out of these like 370 some odd posts, I can really recall only like TWO, where we had some thoughts during the course of the day, where we were like, "OK, that's what I'm gonna write about today."  There may have been more, but honestly, we have no idea where this diary is going to go, even as we write.  The Good Lord knows what needs to be said, in what way.  Which brings us to us personally....(That makes no sense, but just roll with us.)

Love and Fun.  In my life, off the computer screen, I wonder why do I go through so much dude.  Especially when it comes to, let's talk about Love first.  It's gotten to the point where I feel like my life has been scripted.  Like no matter what I do, or how we just be patient or if we're aggressive, it's like blinders have been placed on so many peoples eyes concerning us.  Do we know a lot of girls?  Yes.  Are we always around sexy ladies?  Definitely, it's amazing how they are magnetized to us.  But it's just like, how come when u open urself up, something wild pops up, or u don't get the response u thought u would get with somebody who u thought u were cool with.  Starting to think that my diary is being lived in our life.  Meaning a) I"m having great (Or bad) material to write about in a sense that if these crazy lessons don't happen, then I'll not only have nothing to write about, but also nothing to help others with when it comes to Love.  And b) I've had to pay one heck of a cost for just wanting to have a cool gal.

I know tha last few weeks, it's been like, is even the destination, of Love and Life, even worth the journey or price that has to be paid.  U may say, Austino don't talk like that, but when u've been on the battlefield for so long, and have seen so much, and have been like 2 offensive rebounds away from the Championship, then u'll think differently.  I've been blessed in so many ways, it's borderline incomparable.  BUT...sometimes I feel like I would trade those things away to get what I REALLY want.  It's like being at Christmas, and having a Aunt give u pair of socks.  Deep inside ur thinking, 'that's cool, but I would've preferred a sketch book, or Barbie doll, or heck just tha money!'  But later on, ur city experiences the worst Winter they've ever had, and guess what u need...Those socks that u thought u'll never want, but has become the ultimate need.  So that's where we were, 'Enough is Enough' already, and I want to know why I'm always getting these pair of socks, when I live in Miami.  Plus, u can only put two pairs of socks on a door handle at a time anyway!!  Hey, the freak in me will never sleeps either!...

4:59 am.

The journey can be long, it can be tedious, but u have to push on, cuz life can change in a blink of an eye.  I know this one girl.  And we used to talk and this and that, but there was a period recently where 'tha vibe' in tha air was thick.  Let's be real, has their ever been a time where u see somebody and u think, "If this (Female Dog) even looks at me I'm either gonna cuss her out or...cry."  Maybe that has only happened to me.  But it's funny how u can be cool, chilling at somebody's house for a party or laughing and giggling with that person, but then all of a sudden u two peeps just stop.  That person walks by, doesn't even speak anymore...U see him or her coming and count, "One Mississippi...Two Mississippi...Three Mississippi" before u think it's safe to continue on ur merry way.  And the funny thing about this situation was as Silkk The Shocker used to say, "It ain't my fault!"...and no I did not do that.  Which led into some soul searching like, "Is it a crime...for trying to bring a smile to somebody's face or make somebody's day?"...Sade, sing my song...If wanting to brighten somebody's day, or the lust to yearn for the creation of the perfect day or if wanting to bring somebody along on my ride to the top is a crime, then perhaps I need to give up this life of embezzlement and move down to tha Dominican Republic and just lay low for awhile.  It hurts when u're close or cool with somebody and it all...stops.

5:12 am.

Then if u two feel each other...  So u add that factor, and u can feel it between tha two of you, and ur like...it's like when u break of with an Ex, and ur thinking,  "I can't stand this chick...but why does she have to look so fine."  About two days ago, and I don't care if she reads this or not, for some reason I kept on bumping into her.  It was the weirdest thang, like Cupid (Why did he leave me on tha sand to hang out with some girls?!!  That's a Galaxia diary joke!)  But it was if, Life decided to have some fun...Like no matter how much friction (Listen to this song!  It's never too early to party with us!  I promise!) is between u two kids, Life made a point to put us in this uncomfortable position to 'bump' into each other.  And we did...time...and time again.  It was ultra-weird.  But true bro...So on yesterday, I had a chance to share some...laughs with this girl.  I see so much potential in her, she has a personality out this world, I think she's more intelligent than she thinks, people may say this or that about her, but I have to know her for myself, and then I'll base my opinion on that, and that alone.  Thus it pained me, to have to go through this experience.  Now though, we're cool, and me, personally can move on.  But it was like, I'm talking about all this in terms of meeting new people, and interacting with different girls, but until "that chapter" was close, was it allowable to move on.  It's like trying to buy a new car, when u still have one in the driveway that u need to make a decision on.  Either sell it or use it.  If u have loot, u just buy a new one, but still that old one is in tha driveway, so sooner or later u still need to make decision.  But if u decide on it, and sell the old one first, then the driveway is clear and u can do what u want.  Ya dig!  I wonder if my new car is gonna have large or small headlights??? Huh, that doesn't really matter, but I'm learning my new ride better have a nice pair of pipes in tha back!  If-u-know-what-I-mean.

5:28am.

So that's Love.  Now fun.  Our life can be so crazy.  We try to tell a lot that we see, but there are some incidents that don't make the cut in our diary.  One day, and we've thought about it, we might make like a diary post, if I'm still writing, about the outtakes of things I know of here in Miami, and our hood of South Beach, that we haven't told.  Like the other day here in tha beach, this guy was walking around with a bike tire, yeah u read that right, a bike tire around his neck.  Now I know the Beib-ster, and Ms. Cyrus are bringing this 80s gold chain look back, but this dude...I guess he in protest for all those Miami-Dade spots where u can't bike or skateboard.  I mean, I don't personally have a problem skating on the steps of the Freedom Tower, or The FBI Building downtown, or through the driveway of the Delano hotel.  I mean, if they can film a music video there, then why can't I Kick-Push my way around while enjoying all the scenery that South Florida has to offer!  Anyways...there's a lot of stuff we see, that leaves us SMH.

Personally, we've been thinking of some ways to have...more fun.  I've been seriously thinking about... and I haven't even told my folks this, which shows u what kind of Marliyn Monroe husband I would be to go to the media first before my love ones when making decisions about my personal life, but I've been thinking about moving.  Of course, Los Angeles is still at the top of our list.  Although, New York City for some reason isn't far behind.  Heck, I've been chasing 'Angel' around in our diary for tha last few weeks, so I guess the obvious place to look for her is..."The City of Angels!!"  Wow!  How come I didn't think of that earlier?!!...That's cool, how all these things connect...that's really...cool.  But for some reason, I'm being led to stay down here in Miami, for a little bit longer...at least through tha weekend.  So while I'm down here, we're deciding to just let loose.  Now, there's been only one other Summer that will be able to compare to what's about to happen.  And that's that infamous Summer of 2002, when I used to work up at tha beach up north.  It was my fourth, and last Summer up there, and we literally prayed that before that Summer ended, I would have all the answers to my questions answered.  From who's that girl who rollerskates around literally with nothing but a thin yellow bikini on, to I've never walked down on the catwalk to the Lighthouse, to hanging out at the Yacht Club and Marina, Bro we were on it.  It was a checklist to tha beach life.  What up Vince, Kieno, Paige and Brittany, both of y'all...and Jerry, Dan "Tha Man"...tha list goes on...but at the end of that Summer, I walked away like sling-shooter in tha Old West knowing I didn't have any bullets left in my  revolver aptly named "Curiosity".

5:50 am.

Which brings us to now.  I can get bored, especially with...ah, I won't say that.  But I like to do different things.  And surprisingly there's a lot of things...and people, I have yet to do!  Like I've never been to tha Zoo down here in Miami, or to tha Keys.  There are a lot of neighborhoods I'm gonna hit up to, I've been to Key Biscayne, but there's a lot more over there.  As well as...Well, the last time I was in The Grove, we partied so hard a few weeks ago, that the DJ booth literally broke down!  Not kidding, the electricity didn't go out, but the music was banging, and we all were dancing so hard, so with no shirts on, and while balancing glasses...and some while wearing Hooters outfits after work, but how many people can say tha party was jumping so hard the DJ booth went out!  Exactly...Little Havana, although I'm always around there, Bal Harbour, Hialeah, Doral, which I spent some quality time the week before last.  I know all these spots around Miami and South Florida.  (Why do some outsiders call this area South Florida, and not Miami?!!  I mean, ugggh, that's another post.)  And we got a long list of fun in store.  So if I hit u up to do something, it would behoove u to accept cuz knowing us it's not only gonna be fun, but something neither one of us have done. 

Sometimes u just have to step out of ur comfort zone.  For me that might be writing at...

5:58 am.

Or me having my Oatmeal time in the morning, instead of late Afternoon like usual.  Or just doing something u don't normally do.  I'm gonna make my own pizza instead of ordering carry out.  Or Let me go to a neighborhood where I know I don't speak fluent Spanish, and see if I can get by without getting shot at...Visiting some of the "World Renowned" known flee markets that are around Miami, as well as some of the Farmer's Market's, they got this one up near, where are the Miami Dolphins offices at?...Oh, yeah, up near Davie, that looks jumping, as well as a big Farmer's Market up in Hollywood, Florida, which is slowly becoming a town on the edge of growth.  So much to do, and I'm gonna do it as long as I'm down here.  Which could change at any time, so while we're here, do our best to enjoy it!

Anything else...this was different, I've never written this early, at least since our diary went public on Cyberspace's Wall Street.  I know I can be a little too much...Or too smug or egotistical...Or even too sensitive when it comes to love or whatever.  Believe u me, I'm a "G".  Just that our life is unique, and I have to go through a lot of stuff others can relate to...But also a lot of junk that others don't have to go through.  It's tha latter that can get to me, especially when u don't see the fruits of ur labor like u wished u should or could have.  But it's during those times that u "find urself" and really look within to figure out not only who u want to be, but how much are u willing to go through to get to those dreams of cool jobs, or sexy playmates or whatever.  I've learned that there's a price to everything.  And I do mean everythang!  Are u willing to pay it, or settle for something that doesn't cost as much, but may not be as authentic as tha real deal?  That's a tuff decision, I think nowadays people flat out don't want to put up the effort we once did.  Instead of asking a girl out they would rather text her.  I WILL NOT EVER TEXT A GIRL OUT AGAIN!  I learned that calling is best, really face-to-face, but u have to go through those lessons.  U may feel like u have 'mud' backwards on ur face, but u grow...

And that's what happens when u push when u don't want to.  I like to workout.  And just like a trainer, who tells you,"Push...Push...just one more."  Once u do that lunge or bench press, and put those weights back on the bar, u feel good cuz u didn't quit.  In my life, things have happened, recently, that questioned my soul like, "I've already done and been through this."  But just like working out, u sometimes do exercises to maintain ur strength, but u sometimes should do exercises to...perfect them.  U know about this or that, but it's those fundamentals that u want to have down pat...I mean, u never know, u could be at a Supermarket and a Fortune 100 boss bumps into you, and hits you with an impromptu interview on tha spot...Or u could be going to Taco Bell, and tha girl or guy of ur dreams walks in, and strikes up a conversation...Or be a lifeguard on tha beach, and somebodies stuck in the water...These are situations where u don't wanna be in  a "What do I do now?" state of mind.  (I'm guilty of that.)  U want everything to be natural, and be reactive in a way where u don't even have to think twice...Be able to talk and do things u know when u might be tested in a unorthadox way or environment.  That's how the best become who they are...It takes practice and repetition...

A lot of that gets old...a lot of that boring...a lot of that hits you like, 'they didn't have to go through all that to get what they got, and I gotta go through this again and again'...Well, maybe ur about to get a better job...or have more money...or meet a girl or guy that doesn't cheat on you...We, and myself definitely, cannot be concerned to what others have or who they lay next to.  Cuz u don't know what they did to get where they are, legally or illegally...Also, as my Grandpa used to say, and there needs to be a Part 2 to that post (Click Here.), he used to say, "U don't know what goes on behind close doors."  So when u think somebody has it all, or has the dream car or girl or guy, u just don't know.  As I'm learning...a lot of people change once they put their house slippers on.  U might think they are tha finest things, and are super cool, and so gentle, but once those house slippers with Minnie Mouse at the tip come on, all Yankee Doodle breaks loose!  It's tough to fine real people, I mean just in that example, how can Mickey and Minnie Mouse be together all these years and not be married?  I don't see any ring on Minnie's finger? Then again if I was Mickey and had all these dames sitting on my lap...I know I've said that I'm in tha top 5 of being around beautiful women, but perhaps Micky might give me a run for my money...maybe we should write down...Ok...Clarissa...Jamie....Yasmina...Angie...Melissa...another Amy...

That's it.  Love and have fun.  And as "my" coach Phil Jackson recently said about things that come your way in life..."Consider them like a log flowing throw the stream."  They just pass by, and through you, with nothing sticking to ur mind.  Just let things flow...happen...learn what u can control and those that u cannot....and live.

Bye...

Ooops...I almost forgot...and...(Click!)..."Time!"

6:37 am.

Have a fun...morning and day!

Austino Gee.

An Overpriced Ex.

(Huge Blow)

Let me take a look in the mirror.  Is this tie straight?  Been saving this one for a special event, and I guess it's no more time a wasting.  Didn't have time to press out this shirt, but it'll have to do.  Let me see, do I go for tha Carlton Banks look with the V-Neck Cashmere sweater or do I go for tha Hot Miami guy look, and represent with the sport coat to rock with these jeans?   Let's go Hot Guy, because you never know who might be watching at these type of affairs.  Before I throw on tha coat, I need to sit down for a sec.  I'm a little nervous...I need a drink.  Dang!  I need to go to tha store, but I know Publix ain't gonna have nuthin' on sale until tomorrow.  I've been feenin' for a Margarita for days, like tha ones that me and my homegurl Cyn on the beach in Fort Lauderdale.  Those thangs were humongous.  Those were tha good old days, but now it's come to this.  All I got in here is what...Vitamin Water Zero...Whatever that will do I guess.

(Ahh!)

Let me just sit down her on my bed and think.  I mean how did it even come to all this?  I can recall many people telling me how different I am.  I've had sexy girls just flat out tell me to my face, "You're weird."  Not sure if they meant that in a Ronald McDonald type of way, or in a freaky sense like they would like to 'experiment', but...different is sexy....different is sexy.  (Ahh!)  Been through all these girls and experiences, just wondering when would it all just...happen you know.  My guys told me that you just know when you've met the perfect one.  U just know.  Which is wild, cuz I don't even know how I even hooked up with this doll.  Now it's like we're meant for each other.  Crazy how life works.  All right.  Let me see, what time is it, I guess I still got a few moments.  So nervous bro....

(Ahh!)

These last few days have been so wild.  People think just because you have a fine gal, that you still don't get tempted.  Ha!  I think now that it can be worse, because some dolls look at you as a challenge.  Nobody wants somebody that nobody else wants.  Duh...Our life has just been so unique.  But that's all about to change tonight.  Let me get up from here, and do what we have to do, so to speak.  Keys, Coat, for tonight how about some, just gonna take a few CDs.  I already got GG's "So Anxious" ready for when we return.  It should be a wild night!  Got everything...alright, I'm out.  Time to Rock 'n Roll.

(Click!)

Boy, I never thought it would go down like this.  Some reason I still have reservations about her, but..she's all I got, all I ever wanted so. I mean I never chased anybody like I've chased her in my life.  I mean, all I ever wanted from the first time I actually came close to her was to be associated with her.  Just to be mentioned with her used to bring a smile to my face.  Wait...do I (Pat...Pat...Pat...)  Where is my...Whew!  I thought I forgot the engagement ring.  I spent, she just don't know all tha pain I went throw to be able to get this thang.  So many working days, and starving nights.  Just to save up because I thought, matter of fact, knew that she was worth it.  I felt her even before I met her face to face, cuz I knew from afar that our paths would cross.  And it did that special day here in Miami.

(What's up dude.)

What up.  People are gonna flip down here in South Beach when they find out what I have planned for tha night.  Yep!  Here it comes, folks got their phones out already taking pictures.  That thing is sexier up close than in the pamphlet.  Who else rides through SoBe via a Horse and Carriage, and I ain't talking bout no Camron joint either!...This is sick.

(Burrr...Burrrr....)

"Whoa Big Fellow!  Whoa!...Settle down now.  A....are you Austino Galaxia."

Yes sir.  And your name is...?

"It's Richard.  But my friends call me Bob for short."

Oh...so your name is Robert.

"No son, it's Richard.  My friends call me Bob."

I thought that...

"I know...I know...I rather not talk about that small detail.  Hop on in, let me just look at the paper work that you signed tha other day.  My friend, you were in a hurry (Spit!) when you stopped by the farm tha other day, did u rob a bank or something?"

No...Yes...No...Well, I did have a dream or nightmare where I was working for the CIA and our team of agents busted a bank heist.  And next thing I know it, I was being chased by the State Puff Marshmallow Man.

"From Ghostbusters!?!"

It scared the daylights out of me! Still does just talking about it. Him telling me, 'I'll be right back', and to see him running looking at me...Bro, I got problems.

"I see."

Then to make matters worse, I was washing clothes at the Laundromat down the street here...

"Uh-huh."

...And this guy, he was hawking all these ghetto product, like a hustleman.  I almost swung on him!  No hobo.  He was like the Spanish Hustle Man or something...

"What happened?"

Ok.  First off, I'm just chilling right, looking at tha news on Univision as they are giving tha exclusivo on this cat who busted into this home in Coral Gables.  That had homey on camera. I mean he walked in tha place and was just taking stuff with homegirl inside.  They had his face though on pause, like on Em's "Guilty Conscience" video.  So I know they caught him, right.  Next thing I know it, this character is walking up on me, holding an alarm clock.  Talking about, 'Five Dollars...Five Dollars'.  I'm telling him I ain't interested, besides I'm busy looking at this Senorita...I mean, News that's on TV.  But he keeps on, bro, and I'm trying to tell him, I don't need an alarm clock cuz since I've spent so many days working at tha beach on Lake Michigan, I tell time by the sun.

"So you're an Aztec?"

Wait, Ho, ho, ho... Bob or Dick, or whatever.  We getting a little personal ain't we.  I mean I may be a technical specialist when it comes to tha female body.  I mean I've seen a lot of belly buttons, and a few boobs in my day, but to label me an Aztec , that would be egotistical.

"This new generation...Go on."

So this guy like cuts me off talking.  Which I haaaate!  Somebody once told me, in regards to relationships, if you're talking to a woman...or guy...and she keeps talking when you're talking.  U need 2 leave that alone.  But if that person, has the decency and respect to stop and listen to tha point you are making then u got a winner.  I can't stand bad manners.

"Sometimes u just have to sit on them."

Yeah, sometimes you just have to...U got jokes, huh.  Alright, I see...I see.  But check this out.  Next thing I know it, this guy after going around the whole L-Mat, goes into his bag, and pulls out some sunglasses, and begins to walk around, "Three Dollars...Three Dollars."  I'm thinking this is turning a ghetto version of The Price is Right real quick.  So after no takers this magician then goes back into his bag, and pulls out some hair clippers.

"Brotha, how much was he asking, I saw Billy Ray Cyrus on CNN the other night with Piers Morgan, and Gosh, I gotta get me one of them cuts."

Dude, I-Don't-Know...All I knew was that he was pulling so many things out of his bag, I was waiting for a Pony to jump out!  Coin purses, small handbags, this dude was a walking Ebay.  With nothing but Buy It Now prices.  Amazing...Amazing.  Dateline should do a feature on this guy.

"Alright.  Mr. Galaxia, I found your papers.  U need us for three hours.  Drive you up to 41st Street for a nice meal up there."

Yeah, that's where we first met.

"Ok.  And I hear through the grapevine that you are gonna make tha big jump tonight."

That's correct bro.  I'm gonna ask my girlfriend to marry me tonight.

"We'll see about that...Alright now, buckle up, I ran out of food at tha ranch, so I fed tha boys some left over Taco Bell from the other night, so forgive me if..."

I know...I know.  Just make sure they do tha do, before and not after dinner.

"U got it...Gitttty Up Now!  Rawhide!"

(Glock.  Glock.  Glock. Glock.)

(Laughing)  Dude, does that Mickey Mouse stuff actually works? I thought that was just a song from The Blues Brothers?!

"Actually, Rawhide was a TV show son."

(Glock.  Glock.  Glock.  Glock.)

"Mr. Galaxia are you ok?"

I am...it's just that...let me ask you a question.  How do you know when u've really, and I mean really and truly met tha one.  Like...I shouldn't even be talking this with you.

(Spit.)  "I sense some doubt about if this is tha right decision."

It's just that I'm around beautiful women all tha time.  I mean, Bob, I'm still thinking about this girl I had the pleasure of talking with some on the other day.  She was physically what I like, mature, had a sexy accent I guess, cute, seemed mature.  I mean, she really seemed like a wifey type and somebody who's been around yet...she was in shape physically, she reminded me of Jeanie Buss from the Lakers.  Really cool and really sexy dude.  It's like I've gone from step to step...from cool girl to real cool girl to really really cool girl...Like my life with women has been in stages, and I just wonder if this is somebody worth hanging it up with.  She's so desirable, so many would die to have her, she's just stuff of legends.  I mean, how can anybody say 'No' to her, especially if she digs you some.

"Man, when are they gonna finish up this construction on Alton Road?  My horses can barely maneuver, anyway, where were we?"

How do you know..

"Yes..Yes  (Cough, Cough!  Cough Cough!) Excuse me, for that, I'm trying to quit this spitting tobacco, but ever since those days growing up on ranches in  tha Southwest.  I started around the time when the Bash Brothers were popular out in Oakland.  It's just been tough habit to...(Cough!  Cough!) to shake.  Galaxia, I'm gonna be honest with you."

Alright.

"From what I hear about who you're gonna propose to...I don't think you should do it."

Why not?  I mean, I'm never gonna get anybody who's gonna treat me like she will...Plus, she's super hot as well, I mean she's the finest looking girl around.

"Don't believe everything you see.  Looks aren't everythang, and once that ring goes on the finger, things change.  They say they won't, but as me and my five ex-wives will attest to, they will."

Huh.

"Plus, dude, u chased her too hard.  I mean, I heard some stuff, and read some articles about you and her, and you made her like ur main focus.  Doing everythang just for her.  Writing diaries and stuff.  Trying to blend in to what u thought her standards were, instead of just being yourself.  Believe you me, with a girl like her, u have to let her make the first moves.  Especially, with ur doll, cuz since every guy and from what I hear, many girls also want to be linked with her, u've given her all tha power.  Instead of making her come to you, u've been all 'goo-goo eyed' off this dame.  Making me come over here to South Beach, to have an expensive meal at a restaurant that is spelled only with vowels, when I could of had you over in Horse Country down South here in Miami, could have set up tha whole thang, and would have been just as nick.  I know what you are...You're..."

U're a lie.  I ain't pussy-whooped for nobody.  Don't you know who I am.  I'm...

"Yeah...yeah...Austino Galaxia.  Just from her past, and from how you are feeling right now.  If you aren't 100% sure about this, I wouldn't do it.  Besides, just think about how many other guys she's been with, and how she's turned them out. She's got guys to give up all their money, power...She's serious.  She gets guys when they're young...when they are old..."

I hate that word.

"Alright...more mature.  Don't think you are tha only guy who's fallen for her.  One of my ranch buddies, who we used to call Paco, God Bless his soul, used to have a phrase for women like her."

What was that.

"A tumbleweed in the desert always gets blown."

I don't know what in the name of Yosemite Sam that means but whatever dude...Whatever..

(Rawhide!)

Ok.  Ok.  Besides.  All these guys have had her, I know.  I mean, even T.I. and Pharrell wrote one my favorite songs, "Freak Though" about her, literally.

"Tha Rubber band gangster?"

(Smiling) Yeah....

"He's dope.  That is one of my favorites as well."

Ha Ha...Yeah he is..But that's in her past, I've worked so hard to get her, I finally got her, and...I just don't think that there is gonna be anything better than the high I get just thinking about her.  I wanted this type of girl all my life, and now to just...

"Listen to you.  She got you star-strucked.  Hooold On Boys!  Hold on!  We're pulling over here near Mt. Sinai hospital, so I can get real....Don't do it!  Don't do it!  Don't do it!  From what I hear you are gonna find a new girl in no time.  Besides u always talking about all these girls coming to you.  Be a man, don't let her take control of you.  I know she's attractive, and just thinking about what she can for you, can make you want her more.  I know just thinking about what this dame can do to you morning, noon, and night can make your cactus poke its thorn out, but she's nothing but trouble, at least the way that you've approached her. She knows that you want her so bad, and are willing to do whatever to get to her, and keep her.  So she's willing to play tha field cuz she knows she can always come back to you.  MAKE HER COME TO YOU!  ALRIGHT!"

Alright.

"If you do, I tell ya sonny boy, u'll be reeling her in, and she'll be doing things to you that you didn't even think was possible.  I know ur excited to have such a beauty on ur arm, and think she'll never come back, or that u'll never find anything like her.  But I look at it like this...If ur gonna have her, and if its meant for you two to be together then it'll happen.  Remember tha one who cares less in a relationship is in control of it.  I promise you, that once she understands that u don't give a flying squirrel whether u two are together or not.  Then she's gonna want you even more...And she's gonna come at you like an echo at tha Grand Cayon. Trust me on this. Trust me..."

Well, I guess it's nothing else to do.  Take me back home, I guess...

"Believe u me.  Ur doing tha right thang.  I'm saving you from a lot of trouble.  Just let it happen.  Let love happen...the right way.  Ur one of, if not the most desirable bachleors on the market, so u shouldn't be sweating her like u do.  She should be sweating you!  Believe u me, once u two break up, she's gonna see how great a catch u are, and dude...tha things she's gonna do to you.  Las Vegas Chicken Ranch type of  stuff...Once she gets her hands on the new you...She's gonna grab your..."

I get tha picture....I get tha picture...Let me call her to let her know...

(Doin' It for tha...Cuz We Wanna Live Tha Life of Tha Rich and Famous...Doin' It for tha...)

Hey...Hey...Baby...Look.  I'm gonna have to cancel those dinner plans that we had for tonight...I know, I know that's you favorite restaurant but...Perhaps, listen, I just have to be honest, I feel like we need a break. Look, it's not anybody else, nobody else....Look, look...It's me, it's not you.  I'm not growing with you...Huh...What?..Whatever.  So now u don't like how I cook your breakfast.  Toast tastes better when its burnt, alright! I don't underst...I'm not sure, I need some time to find myself.  There's a lot of beautiful women here in Miami, so I can't promise you that....Huh.  I will say this one thang.  You are about to see a whole new me.  Well, go and do you, but ur gonna miss out on a...(Bip!)

"Well?"

She hung up on me.  Bob I hope that you are right on this.  I'm putting faith in you.

"Son, put faith in urself.  She'll come running back...she'll come a running...Hey, at least now you're free to date that Angie...or Angel..."

Angelica Julia Guiterrez?!  The most beautiful girl I've ever met...You are right, tha door is now open.  Just wish she would somehow come soon, cuz I need her more than ever.

"She will.  I hear she's close."

Yeah, she's the only one left on tha list it seems.  But even when I do meet Angelica, I still can remember this ring I have, this buggy ride, and all those years wanting my, I guess now, 'Ex'.  I had her Bob, but ur right, I went overboard for her, now we just gonna let life come, one day I can reflect and laugh at how stupid I was, and how I got caught up in tha hype.  And one thing will stick out in my mind, Bob.

"What's that Austino Galaxia?"

I will never, ever...again...chase a girl name Fame.


Toodles.
Austino.

Flecha and Galaxia...Love Revealed.

(And now the conclusion of Flecha's Comeback)

It's been a long time since I've been down here in South Beach.  So many things have changed.  Good times down here on Washington Ave..  What happened to that Versace store right over here?  Oh well, but I created a lot of memories for a lot of people.  This place was like where...how should I put it, one of the rare times where I was off I guess.  Where I missed a target or two, and I took the full brunt of the criticism when things didn't work out.  I recall this one time up the street here, at this club that the singer Prince used to own, where I was hired to do some work for this girl.  She had been...

(Honk! Honk!  "Get out tha street Shorty!")

Whatever...she had been wanting to get with this one guy, matter of fact it was one of Sly Stallone's bodyguards.  But as I took aim at the subject at hand, this other fellow slipped in on my shot.  And I hit him. I was so stunned cuz that never happened before, but...those two ended up having a one-night fling, but...I just don't like talking about those rare times when I didn't come through.  Yeah...South Beach, has a lot of memories.  If people only knew...I was "Tha Man" back in those days.  Now it's a new generation, they don't even...I mean, I used to not even be able to walk down these streets without being stopped either for a job offer or a photo op.  How the great have fallen...I'm 'posed to meet this Galaxia fellow on tha sands of the beach off of Ocean Drive.  Let me pull out this piece of paper, he told me...

PAST ALL THE FAKENESS, GLITZ, AND EGOTISTICAL MILFs,
YOU'LL FIND ME WHERE THEY BASK NUDE, SOUTH OF FIFTH.

I must be dealing with The Riddler or something!  All he has to do is just tell me where he's at.  Alright we made it to the sand, it's soooo hot out here.  No wonder why nobody has any clothes on.  I'm carrying around my tools as well.  Wait, let me pull out my binoculars...Bang!  There he is.  Shirtless, White Miami Heat shorts, bandanna on his head, with those patent Armani shades, I guess he is just like he writes.  Ok, let's see what this guy wants...Excuse me but is this seat taken?

'Big C!!  Big C!!  What's going on brotha?!!  I didn't think you were gonna make it.  How ya doin'?  How was your trip in from LA?'

It was alright.  I had a little trouble at the Airport here in Miami, they almost lost my bag.  And u know that my bag hold my tools, so I was concerned about that.  Then as I got on this Airport Flyer Metrobus over here to South Beach, the bus driver kept on saying that I needed a parent to ride on the bus.  I told them that I'm a grown man, but she kept on saying how I barely met the height requirement, and nobody my age should be riding alone.  It was ridiculous!  So this girl in tha back told her that I was with her...So Galaxia later tonight, I have some plans with this gal, if u don't mind...

'Dude, u know I don't care!  I know how things go...Glad that you made it over here, I know how those Metrobus drivers be tripping, I've seen them drive past people standing at bus stops, get into fights with riders as they're on tha bus.  Transit can be wild!...Bro, I stopped by the cafe off of Ocean and grabbed some wraps and sandwiches...Um...some bottled water, smoothies, I got ur favorite candies as well....'

Heart Lollipops.

'You know bro!  You know it...'

So what's up Austino Galaxia.  You talked to Summer, who's your new business partner I heard...

'Yeah'

And have him talk to me, to come and talk and meet up with you...All...across the country.  Why?

'Well, It's like this Big C! (Slurrpp!...Ahh!)  I'm thinking about hanging them up.'

Hanging what up?

'This whole Sandwicho Cubano...Or since u live out in Cali., The Whole Enchilada.  Yep!  I'm done.  I've done everything I've known how, said everything that I could say, written everything that I could write, prayed all that I could pray...Everything dude.  All in the name of Fun and Love.  You understand.'

Huh.

'I'm just a simple kid who wants to have fun dude, and I'm not depressed or anything of that nature, but...sooner or later you would think that something bigger would break.  People they just...they just don't get it.  What happened to those old days when you were running tha streets, where folks would take chances, or converse  for hours with a complete stranger or would even respond with yes's or no's, now u don't even get that.  I'm just...pardon me as I take a bite out of this Chicken wrap...I'm...ju..umph..st....com..umph..umph...pletely...o..umph..ver...it....dude, for real.'

I know where you come from.  Personally, business has sucked lemons for a long...long time now.  Back in tha 80's and 90's my phone would be ringing off the hook, to come to this party or wedding, or even to tha strip club.  Everybody wanted my services to "hook them up" so to speak.  Now you have all these websites like Match.com, or Um...Chemistry.com, Plenty of Fish, I'm still in litigation over this one site for stealing my name.  I don't wanna be associated with their stuff.  I'm from the old school.  I set up situational opportunities, if the moment is right, then I shoot.  Usually I hit my mark, that's why I was considered the best.

'You still are.'

That's what she said.  But the last several years, has just been horrible.  Hey, I'm gonna need something stronger than some Orange Juice, u don't happen to have my drink...

'Oooh!  Ooooh!  Yeah, u know I got you,Homes! Here's some El Potion No. 9.'

(Pop!)  Now, I can really talk and get real.  (Gulp!-Gulp!-Gulp!-Gulp!)  Yeah, man, that hit tha spot.  So are you gonna retire for real?

'Have you ever wanted life to just be simple?  Or have you ever wanted something just so bad, and felt like you've been through all tha dues, and now the process has started to get flat out boring.  Big C, you're the only one I can be honest with, so I'm just gonna level with you...Can you pass me a napkin?...Me personally, am surrounded by beauty all the time.  I mean, just look over there right by the water.  See that girl...'

She's beautiful.

'Yeah...right now I'm just looking for more than looks.  I've seen the best in many ways physically...Pretty face, petite build, athletic build, big booty, small boobs, six-pack abs, mole on cheek, impeccable smile...Seen so much, that...It's just tough to explain, now you want the combination of everything physically, emotionally, and personality wise.  It's like once you seen so much, the expectation naturally goes up.'

Perhaps you shoul...

'And then I write all these wild stories, sharing intimate thoughts with who knows who, many times it's embarrassing...some times, even as strong and confident as I am, sometimes u just feel like nobody else has that zest for life, or wants to be friends without having to think about sex all the time, or...it's like the more you want to become the best, the more you want to live life at a high level, the more alienated you become.  And even though you want to share your fun and love of life, people don't really want to...'

Let me stop you right there.  (Gulp! Gulp! Gulp!)  Ahhh!  I got a story to tell you Galaxia.   U ready?

'Sure.'

There once was a guy, who dreamed about one day becoming King.  As a little kid he would admire those in upper kingdomship, if that's a word.  Playing with toy knights, building castles with toy Lego blocks.  He even dreamed about having a Princess by his side.  Even though he admired the present King, he knew that if he would to ever be in that position, things would change.  They would be different....

So as this young fellow grew older, he began to go through this unforeseen process of learning what it takes to be a King. He would encounter a lot of things that he didn't expect. Especially, when it was obvious to those around him, that he was the next in line to inherit tha kingdom.  People wouldn't listen to him, people would reject him or hate on him for no apparent reason, he would grind through days that seemingly had no beginning, and nights that seemingly had no end.  All those days he wondered, "Why is it that I'm going through so much, to get so little, when all I want to do is be a King?"  He tossed and turned at night, until one day it hit him...If you really want to be a King, then you are gonna have to follow a King's journey.  Sometime later, the present King died.  And this guy got a call from the Government or Kingdom, and they said that they wanted somebody who wanted to be King.  Thus, this is why they called this fellow up.  He immediately accepted and told everybody he knew, "I'm gonna be King!  I'm gonna be King!"

'That's cool and all, but what does that have to do with...'

Shut up and listen!...The day arrives and this fellow pulls up to this huge castle that's surrounded by bridges, and security guards.  He told them that he was expected to be "the next King".  They opened up the gates, and he walked in with his mouth wide opened, thinking all of this is now mine.  So he got up to the King's Lair, and introduced himself as "the next King".  The guys who were up there, simply smiled, and pointed to this huge Chess board laid out on the great lawn below.  They told him, "Yes, you are!  You are the missing piece, that we needed to continue our game, so get your butt down there!"  Which was followed by some painful laughs.  The fellow was devastated.  This was not what he expected.  He told everybody that he was gonna be King of this grand kingdom, but in reality, he was resorted to this embarrassing game of human Chess.  The fellow walked from the lair up top, down those long steps below, not knowing if it was all worth it or not.  He knew this was a joke of some sorts.  The moment he stepped onto that huge black square on the backline, all he heard were those laughs coming from up above.  And even some more coming from others standing on the Chessboard.  It was like a big joke was being played on him.  But he figured if since he went through all this trouble and ridicule to get here, he might as well play to win. The first human pawn moved diagonally to his left, and the game was on.

'Interesting.'

The game was competitive, so much so, that the guards were scared that it might get out of control.  The end was near though, as this fellow or tha King was surrounded by two Human Rooks and a Queen.  With nowhere to go.  Just as the Queen was about to yell "Checkmate" something mysterious happened...You got another bottle of that El Potion No. 9.  That was slamming!  Thanks.  (Pop!...Gulp!  Gulp!  Gulp!)...So did you celebrate crazy the other day after the Heat won tha Championship?  In California, I saw tha pictures of the pots and pans going off once again.  That beats us setting cars on fire, and burning down buildings like we did after the Lakers last won in 20-10, I guess.  (Gulp! Gulp!)

'Dude!!  Aren't you gonna finish tha story?  I mean, what happened next?'

You really want to know.

'Yes.'

Alright.  (Gulp! Gulp!  Ahhh...)...Well, just as the Queen was about to yell, "Checkmate", the supposed-to-be-dead King walked out onto the Chessboard.

'Say Whahh?!'

He walked onto the Chessboard and said, "That's enough."  The fellow was so stunned because he thought the King was supposed to be dead.  The living King then walked over to this fellow and told him, "You have passed the test, and you are going to me The Next King."  The fellow looked even more confused not knowing if he was talking to the real King of some Coachella hologram.  The real King grabbed the fellow around the shoulders, and said, "You want to know why you are going to be the next King, well I'll tell you why.  See, so many want to become King, but very few are willing to go through the process of becoming a King.  I invited many others up here to play, but they weren't willing to go through the craftiness and embarrassment of this game.  All the while not knowing that if they were willing to endure, then the Kingdom would be theirs.  The laughs were too tough, the not knowing was too much, and they quit before even trying...

...But you on the other hand, were willing to handle the disappointments.  I know you thought that your dream was gonna come true, but it did, just not in the way u expected it to.  See sometimes you have to play the game out, because you never know what might be your reward for just giving it a try.  And right before you think all hope is gone, and the clock is gonna be tapped followed by a "Checkmate" in tha air, that might be the time your dreams might come true."

(Silence)

That's what I want to tell you, Galaxia.  You never know.  In my line of work, I shoot arrows all the time.  My goal was...or is to shoot those arrows during those Situational Opportunities and hopefully I'll make a love match for a lifetime.  I've rarely missed, matter of fact my accuracy rate is lowest down here in South Beach.  But when I am hired, and the moment speaks I shoot.  Now what happens after that whether it's a wife and kids, or an ugly divorce, or affairs, that's on them.  But I must do my job.  With you, Galaxia, perhaps you mission is to shoot...shoot...and shoot some more.  You talk about "Fun and Love" and share these stories or give invitations to some things, keep on doing it.  If nobody follows you, they don't follow.  If they do, they do.  But u must not give up, until all of your arrows are out of tha pouch.  You never know when one of those arrows might be the one to start this "Galaxian Dynasty" that u always want.  It seems like the process and everything is getting old and tired and boring, but u gotta push through, cuz this might just be your game of Chess that determines if you are worthy to become a King or not. Just maybe this is your final test.  And by talking to Summer and some other people...I think it has been.  And I think that you're about to see a big change.

'Thanks Big C.  I needed to hear that.  Thanks.'

No problem.  And I won't hold that letter you wrote to me against you!  (Ha ha!)  Listen, I didn't respond because I wanted you to go through the process some more.  Love isn't easy.  Love has many different sides to it, not just sex, or dating.  But it's complex, that's why tha time was right for us to finally meet. You're seasoned now, like some fried fish out of the Mississippi River.

(Smile)  'So Big C...what about you?   I mean, u think that you would ever have it like you did back then?'

Quantity isn't the purpose.  It's the quality of my service that makes me happy.  Besides, I've lived, and I'll leave tha game of "Fun and Love" up to you young guys and girls.  I'm just gonna relax, and come out when the time is really needed.

'Well, thanks for today, bro.  U saved me.  Look...Look Big C.  Who are these girls running over to us?'

I told you.  They will come if you just be patient and wait.

'What should I say?  What should I do, they are so beautiful...'

Just be cool....be cool.

"AH, HI, BUT ME AND MY FRIEND ARE A HUGE FAN OF YOURS!  LIKE, WE'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU, AND WE WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH US AND OUR FRIENDS OVER THERE?"

'Sure, Let me just...'

"SORRY, BUT LIKE NOT THE BOTH OF YOU.  JUST HIM."

'Oh...My bad!!  Big C, I guess they are all yours.'

I'm in town just for tha weekend, so you understand right?!!  What else do we need ladies...This bottle of El Potion No. 9, and you aren't gonna need these wraps and sandwiches are you Galaxia?  Bro, write me later about everything...I mean EVERYTHING!

'I guess Big C is back in business after all.  That was a heck of a story he told me.  You never know, huh...You never kn...'

(Excuse me...I'm sorry, but I just saw what happened to you involving your friend.  That's messed up that he left you all alone like that.)

'Naw...homegurl, that's alright.  He's the ultimate loverboy...I mean...He's the best...The Prince of Love..He was Don Juan before there was a Don Juan...I guess that's why he's known around the world by one name...'

(What's that?)

'Cupid.'


With Love and Fun,
Galaxia.

Flecha's Comeback.

(Buzz!...Buzz!....Buzz!)

Snoore....Snoore....Snoore

(Buzz!...Buzz!...Buzz!)

What is that noise?

(Buzz!...Buzz!...Buzz!)

Here I come...Here I come, just hold you bridges.  Don't tell me this is...

"Charleston...Charleston...Made In...Carolina...Some Dance...Some Prance...But nobody can do it like me!"

Well, if it isn't...

"What's up bro!  How's ya been my friend?!"

Fine.

"It's been awhile hasn't it, Flecha.  Do people still call you that?  Or am I the only one?"

Just you.  It's always been just you who call me that.

"Can I come in?  Thanks.  Alright Flech, I'm gonna...what is going on in here.  It looks like a major storm just came in, did the Hookey Pokey, and turn itself around in here.  What's...This is not how I remember this place being.  It's so....so...messy."

I don't wanna talk about it.

"Is everything Ok?  You can tell me."

It's just that business has been so slow  Bro, it's like my way of doing things went out with the Tootsie Roll and 2-way Pager.  I'm ancient, my friend.  Just ancient.

"Don't say that?  I mean you were tha best....I mean, are, the best. I've seen you in action.  Like, I was there when you  did your best work, like Tom and Penelope...Ah...Ah...Jennifer and Cris...Homer and Marge...That was..."

That was tha good ol' days, dude.  Now, I can't get hired worth a darn.  Then you got all these stupid Social Networks that are doing these...The other day I even heard that Instagram crap, now has video 2 go along with just posting pics.  So that further cuts me out, I mean...why come to me, when u can just do tha fool, face to face...or phone to phone.  I've thought about quitting before, but now it's officially looking like I'm done.  Finito.  Adio-so.  You can stick a fork in me, and pull me out clean, pal.  I'm threw.  THREW!  Care for some red Kool-Aid?

"Naw, Flech.  I can't believe you are giving up so easily.  I mean, look at all these momentos.  Look at this mug over her....'Without You, There wouldn't be us.  Love Always, Britney and Kevin'.  That was nice.  Then look at that photo on the wall, signed from Marilyn and Joe...There's a picture of you with John and Jackie K.. You were even at the Copacabana with Kim and Sammie Davis.  All these people met because of you."

Old times only do one thing...Make the soul older.  (Ahh!!)  This is some good Kool-Aid.  Sure you don't want anything.

"Nothing to eat.  Me and let's just call her, my lady friend (Wink!) stopped over at this place off of Melrose, earlier today.  She's beautiful, but she just doesn't eat.  I mean, this chick literally, and Flech I'm not exaggerating this one bit, this girl literally order a chicken salad without the lettuce.  I mean, I was stunned like what happened to broads like Jayne Mansfield or Delta Burke who looked gorgeous but had a little meat on them.  Even when I had that little flingy thing with that one actress...Um?  U know who I'm talking about."

I've hooked you up so many times, that I don't even remember which one!

"Whatever...but even though she was skinny like Ally Mcbeal, she knew how to throw down.  Speaking of which, when are you gonna hook me up with that Raven-Symone chick?"

Ah...I think she's a little too young for you.

"U're never too old to rock n' roll my friend!  Nevertheless, I know that you are done, or feel like you are no longer wanted, but I have a special request from somebody for your services."

Who?

"Have you ever heard of the name Austino Galaxia?"

(Spittt!)  That guy.  Have I?  Look over there...

"Here...What's this?"

That's the letter he wrote to me earlier on last year.  That nitwit.  If I ever see him...I'm gonna...

"Well, before you lose your cool.  He contacted me because he heard I was the only one who could track you down.  He's requested you to help him."

Nope...Nah.  I don't mess with guys who think they are like "tha last Playboy" on Earth...Or somebody who thinks that the world or what does he call himself?

"Galaxia."

Yeah, thinks that tha Galaxia revolves around him.  Besides he's fine, he's got it all under control.  I mean, just the other day, he was the eye of a pretty dame.  I heard about her, and what she was doing.  Putting her butt like right next to his face.  Bending over all in his sight.  Checking him out hard, and when he turn to look, she gave this shy glaze in the sky, and smirk.  She looked like the typical Iceland Blond beauty, and sometimes u have to strike when the Ice is hot.

"U mean cold."

Trust me, when I say Ice...I mean Ice.  It's a new girl every week.  Been reading his stuff, actually he's secretly been my hidden obsession.  Check this out.  Over here in my Bookcase...I have a spiral notebook...Let me see...Jack Nicholson....Ah...DiCaprio...Tyrese Gibson...Mick Jag...As you can see, it's kind of out of order.  Where is it?...The Backstreet Boys...There it is...Austino Galaxia.  The files.

"B...That's kind of thick ain't it?!"

I know, but besides his own diary, I've personally kept tabs on all his 'interactions' per se.  This guy knows girls literally all over the globe, not too many can say that.  Let me see, this is like the ultimate bachelor portfolio.  Take a glance...Those with 4 stars mean I have not only pics but video as well.

"This is wild.  This guy...Anyway, Flech, he told me that quietly he's tired, and needs you, and only you.  He's just a kid who always talks about Love anyway, who better to come to than the best."

I don't know, this seems to be a young man's game.

"Well, just think about it, alright.  I gotta go, I got a date with this waitress/actress/model/nursing aid up in tha Hollywood Hills in a bit.  Just give me a call, Flech...Hey, not only he needs you.  But tha game needs you to.  We'll talk bro."

Sure.

(Door Closes)

So Mr. Galaxia wants me to help him huh?  Do I have enough in me?  This could be my most storied assignment though.  I mean, if I could hook this guy up, then I'll be back in tha game for real.  Let me go downstairs to tha basement...and see what's down here...

(Click!)

Look at this place.  This is what I used to call 'Tha Lair'.  Where things went down.  Everything's...(Cough!)...So...(Cough, Cough!)...so dusty.  I haven't been down here in awhile.  Let me see, I go El Potion Number 9 over there.  Still have some left, that stuff never expires.  Have some old blueprints over here.  I guess I was good.  See I knew where my subjects at hand were gonna be at all times.  Thus I could create an opportunity for them to meet simultaneously.  Look at this stuff...Handcuffs...Body Oils...Endless supplies of Chocolates...Then over here, I got some music.  Album, CD's, and even 8-Tracks.  Barry White.  Luther.  Michael Buble.  Everybody's over here.  Look at this Cassette Tape single.  LL Cool J's "Doin It".  Boy, 1996 was my year.  I even got edible underwear, strawberry panties...This is insane.  I was on top of my game.  The best.  Let me go over to this other room.  It's kind of dark in here as well.

(Click!)

This is amazing!  These are my babies right here.  Nothing but the finest arrows filled these walls.  Nothing but the best.  France...Peru...Indonesia...England...South Africa...The best tools and...Look at here.  See, this silver one.  It never missed.  I always hit my mark with this one.  Just like my Father, Amor, told me...Look...Aim...Pull...Fire!

(Boing!  Boing!  Crash!!)

Ooops!  I guess I'm getting too carried away.  Knocking stuff over.  These were the days for real.  Nuthing, nor anybody did I fail.  I've always wondered though, what if I did meet this Galaxia fellow.  Like, what if I worked with him?  He talked to my guy, so he must be serious.  I know he gets tired of dealing with what he deals with...You know what I think I gonna do it.  He needs to know what this L-O-V-E thang is really about.  He constantly talks about it, but now....where's my phone.  Let my guy  a call.

(I can't wait to fall in looove with you/ You can't wait to fall in looove with me...This just can't be...)

"Yo."

What up, Summer.  This is Flech...Yeah...I'm in...I'm totally in....Huh?  Miami...In the Morning?   Of course, I can do that....Yeah...I know...Alright...For Sure...Yeah, I know they got some hot ones down there.  This is business though...Huh?  Yeah, Alright.  Be easy. One.

(Beep.)

This is gonna be a talk that I never thought would happen.  Me working this guy.  Almost like a dream team. This is a conversation I think everybody would love to hear.  At least I know I would.  Time to pack up, the morning is gonna sneak up on  me. Let me go back upstairs.  Oh!  Gotta take this with me. It's been awhile, but I'm flying your way once again.  But this time, I'm not leaving until my job is done.  All these steps to get back up...Kind of symbolic I guess.  First the climb....Next, The takeoff...And let me turn these lights back off...

South Beach here I come.

(Click!)


Austino.

Tha Hottest Takeover!

I'm taking over on tonight,

Enough with all those poems from that other guy.

It's my turn to finally shine, 

I've been in tha back so long, waiting to finally fly.

Everyday I take a backseat to this fellow,

He talks like he owns the planet and galaxy.

He's such a snob behind close doors, trust me,

He yelled at his shadow once for refusing to flee!

Love and Fun, Love and Fun,

Doesn't he know this ain't no diary from 1970 lure.

All that mumbo jumbo needs to hit tha bricks right now,

I'll pause here gladly and open the back door.

So who am I?  No need for intros right now,

I'll reveal myself at the end.

Let's just say that I know Austino Galaxia so well,

If he performed a threesome, I'll be tha Zorro masked friend.

He's so tired from staying up late last night,

To watch his guys The Heat stay alive for another go.

Now the city of Miami is so happy and giddy on  today, 

Just a few hours past they though they were throwing the game for dough.

That's Miami though, and I'm getting used to it,

Although I feel like I've been a star all my life.

I have been everywhere, doing everything,

I'm a husband's lifetime goal, and the dream of any wife.

But as I puff on this Cigar, I'm just cool, just chillin',

Knowing that now I get to get some things of my chest.

Galaxia isn't gonna be writing on today, so stop crying, 

U get something better that some constant "Amor" quest.

I mean, let's be real, how many times has he misspelled a word, 

Or how many times u wonder how he miss a phrase complete.

If I was writing this diary, that junk wouldn't happen,

It would be gangsta composed, like Al Capone in a Fine Dine seat.

Then he talks about all these adventures with these dames, 

Like he's some kind of Ladies Man of history.

Whatever, I might just tell you what really goes on behind the scenes, 

Tha things that only his and mine eyes will ever see.

Let me just set the scene some more here, 

Man, those Cuban did this Ciggy so right.

Austino drives over to Little Havana constantly for a Senorita,

While I can make one call, and have two over tonight.

This is the takeover tonight, boys and girls,

You thought that G-lax, or whatever was writing I'm sure.

Now you get tha real deal, and not some wannabe, u understand,

He's the disease, while I'm the prescription cure.

I met this guy a few years ago, yeah that sounds right,

He came to me in 2002, wanting all his questions answered with No Doubt.

I told him in a few years, I can give you Gwen all by herself, 

And I'll can give u a money back guarantee that you won't pout.

Thus as he worked on those Lake Michigan sands, 

He had all his hopes and dreams realized in front of him complete.

Partying with sexy dames, Being stalked by a crazed Mother and Daughter, 

Hey, I messed up on that one, but the more crazier the better the treat.

But I gave him everything back then, 

And I think he always thought I wouldn't ask for a price.

"Puff...:Puff!", how wrong was he on that one, 

There's always a high cost for being nice.

I let him have his time,  but in tha back of my mind, I knew,

He's gonna have to pay the piper, with every string on attach.

I run this thang, I'm in control, 

I'm not just tha throw, but I'm also tha catch.

So then boom, I showed him, how my operations goes,

You wanna work with we, there's a bondsman fee.

He was down with it all, at first,

But he didn't read the contract...It comes with Interest Times 3.

Years would past, and he thought he could run away, how petty,

To all places he would go to where I reside year round.

Miami, he forgot I got that place on lockdown, 

Everybody knows me down there, and they all think that they are star bound.

He goes to South Beach, and figures it would be different, 

As if I forgot the debt he still owes me for that season of fun.

Tha price would have to paid one way or another, for real,

I take food checks, wooden nickels, or a briefcase of Monopoly ones.

Didn't listen, so I had to put it on him,

And I knew tha best way to get to him was through his mind and heart.

See that goes with any man who has a big ego, and strong drive,

It's not the number that hits the bullseye, but how u can use just a solo dart.

So I called some of my girls up, from all over the world,

Argentina, Puerto Rico, and a few from Colombia too.

All the heavy hitters, that could get to my subject at hand easily,

Having him in a frenzy not knowing what to do.

From a business world, I hit them up too, 

Get him stressing over his bank account as well.

I had him in a Whirlpool toliet, just spinning around and around,

Yelling, "It's all about the Benjamin's" as he fell.

My grand plan was in action like never before, 

It was going on better than I even thought.

The Informants would come back and tell me, "Boss He's Done,

It's Over, His dreams he no longer sought."

I just left him alone, and figured that he knew tha deal, 

Until me and him would talk, I was gonna make his life tha worst.

He saw some glimpses at least 3 times a year, 

But when he knew he would see me...His heart would ever so thirst.

I'm hot...Matter of fact, this year, I've gotten steaming hot,

Just the inkling of my name makes people take of all their clothes.

And that's not just because I first dropped that Nelly classic, 

Or how I ghostwrited another classic after a Miami club incident..."Everybody Nose."

That's no secret, people come to me all the time,

Especially when they need a new beginning of sort.

I have the best prices in flights, ultimate parties,

Getting to me can sometimes be easy, or as tough as a Knox Fort.

It depends on my mood, which is why I'm writing on today,

Still Caliente over this altercation with this Galaxia guy.

This is personal, and I usually don't go public,

Yet before he shares more lies, I must tell without acting shy.

I was chilling in my Convo, easing my mind of any drama,

Actually reading a Thank You note from Kayne and Kim.

They shared how much they appreciated me giving them their new family gift,

Tears began to form in my eyes, like watching a typical Nick C. film.

Next thing, I know it I get a call, and it's Galaxia, of all peeps,

Saying, how "Enough is Enough, we need to talk."

His tone was out of control truly, kind of hasty, 

I just blurted out, "If u so bad, then walk tha walk."

In about 20 minutes, he came a knocking,

With no conscience just that he had to release his mind.

"Tha Boys" wanted to do him in, but I told them to relax,

I can handle this one, but his body...they won't find.

First, I was a gentleman, and offered him an "Arnold Palmer",

He's always known that that was my official  drink.

All I got was a wave, and a "Make me a Strawberry Daciqiri",

I just thought, what's easier,  tha Miami River or Atlantic Ocean quickly think.

Cuz he's really biting my nerve right now, 

He must didn't hear how I blew my cool one time out in Phoeniz, A-Z.

People moved away, and didn't return until I left,

I just brought in my fav acts like, "98 Degrees" who some nights performed plus 23.

Thus, I'm on edge, cuz of this Galaxia fellow,

Who's now in my face like he was to throw down.

I thought about reaching for my Heat, but thought sensibly,

I just remember how many dolls I'm gonna see in their special gowns.

I sit. I kick up.

And he began to explain how he thinks I'm now gonna be.

Crazy how he forgot who's bio-pic is called, This Is The End.

It was supposed to be a greatest hits documented...of yours and truly...Me.

Or how famous I'm known for using my 5 Rings,

I'm a king in Beijing, London, and soon Rio Day.

So he needs to back up, really soon right here,

Or I might say "4get Tha Miami River" dump his u-know-what in Biscayne Bay.

Austino calmed down for a moment, 

And then began to explain from his point of view.

He told me his debt to me has been paid, 

Then told me all tha things he wanted to do.

Sounded interesting, even some things I want to try,

I am in tha headline of that Jigga/Justin concert in like six weeks.

Perhaps its time for me to move on, maybe his price has been paid, 

As my gratitude I think I'll give him what he always wanted...Natural Born Freaks!

Thus I made him a deal, and his ears perked up,

Now all my cards was gonna be put on the table.

No hidden fees, No tightly written lines at the bottom,

Somehow I now know how Netflix felt tackling Satellite Cable.

If u give me a guest star on your diary write,

I'll give you want you want, like never before.'

Galaxia showed a slight smile, and gave a "Huh",

Like a girl who proceeds him through a Vicki Secret Door.

"It's a deal", was his response,

Funny how life can change you in so many ways.

I wanted to put so much hurt on him, I guess to test him,

Now I want to become his partner in his historical days.

My name should be associated with him as his start, 

Just like I blew up The O.C. back in '03.

He had to be groomed for what I now have in store for him,

A few people now secretly know, but now everybody would see.

Our handshake indicates a partnership of a lifetime,

I should introduce him to my Law Firm, so that they know.

Take a red-eye up to New York, and go straight to Manhattan,

Right into tha famous doors of Sprg., Autumn & Invierno.

Tell them that we once were enemies, 

That the past was something that we all should leave behind.

Now I think about how many others I've hurt as well,

Oh, well, it's not my fault if they were robbed blind.

Now I'm associated with the best, he's on my team,

The thing I once hated is now his marketing theme number one.

First rule of marketing, is go with what makes the client most comfortable, 

It's a risk, but it's ok to roll with this thang called, "Love and Fun."

Others will be touched, I can see it clear,

Like the tables have been turned someway, somehow.

Funny how quickly life can change, 

Ordinary pastures can sometimes house the ultimate Cash Cow.

My phone is going off, meaning my time is at the end,

That's Galaxia, and we need to plan this mode of attack.

Play the love tip, or Play the fun tip more...

Or tha God tip...Or do we place him in a video with gals who are stacked.

No matter what, I'm gonna enjoy this one,

For I've also got what I've always dreamed.

A chance for u to know me, for just me,

I get treated so differently as well, when my starry sky beams.

Marked my words though, 

Tonight was special,

If u missed this post, that would be a all-time bummer.

Let me be the first to introduce us...

The Hottest Duo ever...

Austino Galaxia and his new best friend...

Summer.

Fixin' A Real Prize Bout!

(Sound from TV set)

"You seem to be unstoppable, and are climbing the ranks of this Middleweight division of boxing with ferocity.  But the critics have claimed that there is just one other fighter that you seem to be dodging and who we all know will give you the most trouble.  I know who it is...You know who it is...Can you handle..."

(Zap!!  TV goes off...)

I'm just so sick and tired of these critics and these people showing tha same clip over and over again.  I knew that sooner or later us two would meet.  I just knew it.  I mean, I want to be tha best.  I am the best.  And I take on all comers.  Sometimes it just seems like no matter what you do, it just ain't good enough.  It's always like...I don't know.  I just know that one day people will know...they just will know.  Whatever, I got to go and meet my trainer at the gym to break a sweat for a pre-fight workout.  Where's my...bag...let me see, got my pad lock, just in case people wanna steal something...Let's go Air Max's on today.  Still can't believe that I'm working out sweating in $175 shoes, we have a cool life I guess...Let's go blue Nike shorts, Grey Dri-Fit top, and where's my...how about tha Nike black long sleeve.  The hot guys always wear long sleeves when they work out.  Beckham, Kobe, me...I gotta laugh at that.  Now get my Michigan Fab Five black socks, and I'm just about ready to go.  Got that Word of the Day, keys, time to go to work.  Let me lock up...Ooops, I almost forgot, I need some music to take...Let's go different on today, how about the first album from Danity Kane.  This is a good album, they need to get back together.  Aundrea needs to holla at me, for real...Anyways, got everything, let me lock up.

(Click, Click)

This apartment building seems so different since the fumigated the joint the other day.  I know how bugs and pests can get folks rattled up. I remember working at tha beach and having like 1,000 flies like shore up on tha sands of Lake Michigan.  U talking about a real-life Hitchcock movie!  Not cool.  It's so humid out here in South Beach.  Where did I park?...Oh, Yeah.  I'm so fortunate and blessed to have my guy hook me up on my flat tire.  U run over so much down here in Miami.  I ran over a nail, but on any given day it can be a nail, a piece of glass, or even bones from a chicken wing, it's crazy.  But my dude hooked me up for free.  I just can't tell nobody that.  Here we go.  Open...Wait, is that the Miami New Times, "Best of" issue?  Whatever, if I'm not in there, then it ain't a real list anyhow...Put in Danity, plug up my phone, and were off...

Let's see got a text from my homey Billy Boy...

"2 of first 3 songs played during band intermission?  On spring jams volume 14, Holla!"

That's my guy for real, as well as the rest of my college guys, aka "Tha Dynasty".  For 13 years we've been doing these Spring Jams compilation CDs.  They got so many classics from Pop and R &B...and the one hit wonders, O man!   The other day I was singing "Every woman needs there own Splackavellie".  When was the last time u heard that one!  Spring Jams is special, I wonder if that Kylie "Timebomb" made the cut?  I know that Miguel's "Adorn" is on there.  That's my Aunt's song right there!  A slept on classic...

("Everybody in my Party is V.I.P....We gonna ship Champagne for free...Your night of ecstasy is on me...")

Op...there's tha boss, right here.  Hello...Uh-huh...I'm on my way.  I know I'm a little late, but yesterday was wild.  Ripping and running over in Doral.  Then shopping for home stuff.  Getting home and cleaning up and rearranging my place for 4 hours...I know, but listen...then I had wash my car, buy all this food, and then wash clothes, girl I was tired.  I'm like 2 minutes away.  (Beep.)

People always think I'm crazy for having a female as my trainer but I wanted to be different.  People always give me grief that I just wanted something to look at.  But Stacia is a diamond in the rough, for real.  She trains me hard, and she trains hard herself, so I want the best.  I don't care if the best is a chick or whatever. Finally, we're here.  Nobody's here, which is the way I like it.  We got the whole place to ourself.

(Door shuts)

Ahhhh...I love that gym smell.  Somebody needs to cut the lights on...

(Click!)  

What up, Stacia!  What's going o...

'Don't give me that!  Tonight you have the biggest fight of your career, and you're messing around?'

Ho...Ho...Ho....Hold on.  Just what are you talking about?

'Somebody told me that you were messing with a housekeeper at a hotel these last few days...U know you need your rest...Please explain..'

Look, I just needed a few days to get my head right.  I did some running around up North checking out some movies like Now You See Me and Fast and Furious 6, and did some vintage store shopping in Broward County.  I didn't even stop by the Salvation Army to holla at Monique.  You told me that I need to leave the girls alone...so I did.  Anyways, after going here and there, I came back to the hotel I checked into eariler.  Little did I know that I would arrive at tha same time as the housekeeper was cleaning my room...And..

'Keep going..'

So it was mad awkward.  I walked in, and she was in my room cleaning up.  Look, Stacia, I didn't even really talk to her.  Just helped her make up my bed....I mean she told me she didn't speak any English, so...I just chilled as she continued to clean the place up, nothing happened, I promise!

'And what about when you left to check out.'

What do you mean?

'I mean you and her didn't have a little "Love you long time" moment?'

First off, she came at me.  I was just minding my own business, and for some reason she began out-of-the-blue, to talk English to me, asking if I was about to "Check Out" and began to smile in a friendly way, and all that...

'Whatever.  Enough.  Here's what we are gonna do today.'

10 push-ups...Front Lunge with 4lb. ball...Calf Raise...Front Lunge...Calf Raise with 4lb. ball...Side Lunge...Rocky One Arm Push-Ups on 4lb. ball...Count to 7....Rocky One Arm Push-up...Wait a minute, Stacia.  This is...Hanging Leg Extensions (x4)....Stacia, this is a regular workout.  We can't be doing this?  We have a fight tonight.

'I know. (Looking Down)  There's been some changes for tonight.'

Changes like you wanna kill me before...

'Either I kill you, or somebody else will.'

Can you please tell me what's going on?

'Well...I was approached last night, by these guys.  Now before you get all riled up, let me explain.  Before I met you, I used to have a wild reputation for being one of those South Beach party girls who go out all the time, and figure like you have to party to live, and you live to party.'

So what?!!  I like those type of girls.

'Trust me, I know you do.  Louis V. bag...Gucci sandals...Cinnamon Tan...I know too well.  But as I was sowing my wild oats so to speak, I met a few...people on the scene.  We would go to Vegas or Toronto just on a whelm.  It was a lot of fun, but one night I got kind of too tipsy on those trips and I slept with this one guy...Anyways, this guy and his friend came up to me, as I was eating at The Face up north in Hollywood, Florida and they told me that....that...'

That what, Stacia?

'That if you didn't throw the fight, then they were gonna tell the tabloids what happened between me and them...(Sniffles)...and how they were gonna embarrass me, and show tapes...and...(Sniffles).  Austino, I'm so...so sorry, to have to put you in the middle of this.  But...I just knew that night would come back to haunt me..'

So let me get this straight, I'm in the biggest fight of my life, and you want me to throw it?  And ruin my career that I've so hard, against the one opponent that I've been in some ways, fighting my Ego against my entire life.  Against the one opponent that everybody keep telling me that is bigger than me, and against the opponent that people tell me that a loss against would actually do me good?  I mean...I mean...I don't need this right now.  Not from them....and not from you!  

'Just think about it...Just think...about it.'

(Later That Night Inside the Locker Room)

Yeah, that's good!  Do the same to my right one...Yeah...tape them up real tight, I'm gonna knock this cat into the next Galaxy for real! (Group Laughter) And then Fed-Ex his teeth through the stars!  (Ha...Ha...Ha...!)  Then I'm gonna hit him so hard the moon is gonna cry! (Ha ha!  Ha ha!!)  Then Saturn's gonna take off her ring and toss...

'THAT'S ENOUGH!!  Alright, everybody out, I need some time alone with..."Tha Future Champ."  Out!!...So have you thought about what I told you earlier?'

I have.  I have done so much for girls over the years...Lunch on Miracle Mile...Played 'Wing Man' for unwanted attention...Bought them full blown days at the Spa...But this, Stacia.  This stunt right here, is ridiculous, for real.  The only reason, I will put my grand reputation on the line, and will disrespect the game of boxing is for two reasons...

'What's that?'

One is for you.

'And the other?'

I want your cousin...Angel.

'Angelica Julia Guiterrez??'

Yep.  I want the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

'So, you are willing to go through all this, just for her.'

Whatever it takes.  Sounds stupid doesn't it?

'I can do that.  Consider it done.  I promise.'

So what do I have to do.

'Well, these guys have told me that you have to take a dive, 1:43 seconds into the first round.'

Alright.

'I love you!  I really do!  And I'll make do with my promise with Angel, alright.'

(I won't deny it / I'm a stright ridah / You don't wanna...)

'Okay!! U picked 'Pac as your entrance theme music.  That's so you!   I guess that means it's time to go.'

I guess so.

(Walking down the hall into the arena)

"Knock him out Galaxia!"

"You rule Austino!!"

"Over here, I Love You!!"

'Stay Focus.'

I will.

(Entering the Ropes)

Where are they at?  (Said bouncing up and down)

'They are over there behind the ring girls.'

How did you get involved..with them?  (Sis-Sis!....Sis-Sis-Sis!)

'Hey, you'll be surpised what you do when u're under the influence of Nuvo and Barcardi all night.  Besides, they are a lot more dangerous than you think.'

(Ding, Ding, Ding!)

'Here we go.'

Yeah...Here we go.

(LADIES AND GENTLEMAN...NOW THE MAIN EVENT...FOR THE UNDISPUTED MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD...IN THIS CORNER...)

Does he know about tha fix?

'He knows.  He's gonna hit you with a combo to the body, then an uppercut to your head.  And that will be that.'  

(AND IN THIS CORNER, WITH AN UNDEFEATED RECORD, BORN FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE STARS, WITH THE MOON AND THE SUN AS HIS PARENTS...AUSTI...NOOO...GA...LAX...SEE-YA!!)

They kind of over exaggerated that a little bit didn't they?  I mean can you say, "Pressure!!"  (Sis-Sis!  Sis-Sis-Sis!!)

'Hey just roll with it, you're in the big time now!'

Mills Lane's refereeing this bout?  Last time I saw him was like on MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch!  

(ALRIGHT GENTLEMAN, I TALKED TO YOU IN YOUR LOCKER ROOM.  YOU FIGHT A GOOD FIGHT, I'LL CALL A GOOD FIGHT.  IF YOU FIGHT A BAD FIGHT, I'M STILL GONNA CALL A GOOD FIGHT.  NOW GENTLEMAN...TOUCH GLOVES...AND....'LET'S GET 'EM ON!!!)

'Remember...1:43 seconds in...A combo to the body, and an uppercut, alright.  Make it look real.  Got it...GOT IT!!'

Yeah.

(Ding!)

(Sis-Sis!  Sis!...Sis-Sis-Sis!....Sis!)

'Move your body, Galaxia!  Duck and move!'

(Sis-Sis!...Sis-Sis-Sis-Sis!)

'Hold him, Galaxia!'

(ALRIGHT, YOU VARMINT'S STOP HOLDING.  BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP!  NOW FIGHT!)

(Sis!.....Sis!)

(DAP GIMMIT! BREAK IT UP! STOP HOLDING! FIGHT!)

(Sis-Sis-Sis-Sis!...Sis-Sis-Sis-Sis!)

Oh...@#&$ !!

'NOW!'

(Sis! Sis! Sis!...Boom!)

1....2.....3....4....

'GET UP GALAXIA!  COME ON, GET UP...!!'

...5....6...7...8......9....

(IT'S OVER!  FIGHT'S OVER!)

'Baby, are you alright?  Are you alright?!!'

You didn't say it was gonna hurt that hard.  (Whispering.)

'It always hurts.  No matter what, somebody always is gonna get hurt.'

How did I do?

'Stay down for a few more minutes until the stretcher comes out....'

(IS HE GONNA BE ALRIGHT STACIA?)

'He should be, Mills...he should be.'

(I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD GO OUT LIKE THIS...AND SO DARN FAST...)

'Yeah...life is crazy, ain't it?...Alright honey...he comes the Paramedics, stick to the script...Thanks again.  Nobody would do all this for me...before you go, look at who decided to show up...'

Angel?

(Woke up out of sleep!) 

(Huff!...Huff!...Huff!...Gulp!...Huff!!)

I guess in this fight... 

...It's best to let Patience win after all.

Wink!

Austino Galaxia.