Exit S.

Sacrifice.

That has to be the most unwanted words, and perhaps the least used words in the world's dictionary.  Yet, we've been hearing a lot about that word in so many walks of life, especially in our own.  Living down here in Miami, we constantly hear about the hoops squad the Heat, and all the sacrifices they've made and are making to be and remain championship team.  Out in Los Angeles, our other favorite team, the Lakers are trying to figure out how, when, where and whom should sacrifice in order to be a winner. In life, everybody wants to be "noticed" or what not, but no too many want to sacrifice themselves to get there.  Even myself...right now as I write this I'm feeling a little hopeful...but another side is feeling like..."Just ain't worth it anymore".  This should be a real one on today....

One of American sports most notable winners is Bill Russell.  Wow!  I totally sound like a Pulitzer Prize Winner as I wrote that...That one sentence should get me a seminar at Books & Books later this year.  I read his book on winning, and he talked about himself having a really huge ego.  And how when somebody would...He won 11 NBA Championships with the Celtics, by the way....When somebody asked him about his ego, he would acknowledge that he did have a big one.  But it wasn't directed within himself, but within the framework of the team.  In other words, he wasn't like, "I'm the best."  I play on the best team."  So everything he did was to make sure that those words of playing on the "best team" could actually mean something.  And all his efforts were going in the direction of what's best for the whole, and not just the singular part.

That's not so easy to do.  And for someone like myself, and others who may eventually be reading this, u begin to think that all this sacrificial lamb talk of yesteryear may not be hold true as it was on today.  I'm gonna write this thing like never before, cuz I KNOW somebody feels me, and I KNOW where I am in our life, and am tired of feeling like u're the only one who cares whether it be on jobs or in friendships and relationships or playing on sports teams.  I know.

The thing that gets us is that people, I say this in such a laughing manner, people don't see what u have to go through to get to the level that you wanna get to or the level that you're at.  Success doesn't come easy.  And sometimes, especially in this microwave society we live in today, we just look at the party.  But we don't see, the DJ coming in early in the afternoon testing the sound in the joint.  We don't see the waiters and waitresses  coming in practcing how to talk to VIP guests while carrying the bottles.  We don't see the custodians wiping up the sticky situations on the floor.  We don't even see the Boss, who hasn't been getting any sleep for the last few days, making sure that everything's kosher from lighting to the money being counted, and from hoping that all of the bouncers will show up on the weekend cuz this might be the nights that determined whether the club stays open or closed.  All of this takes sacrifice.  And I guarantee you that all of those people would like to just show up to Club Fun (Trademarked here first...Gotcha!) and party the night away without having to go through all the tedious things u have to go through to make the days and nights a successful venture.  But I ain't talking about the end, I'm talking about the...means of the process.

Our whole diary has been about that. Wanting to talk about what goes through a person's mind and soul while they are going through.  Anybody can talk after they've made it.  "Just hang in there."  Yeah, but u just got the $20 million dollar contract.  "Love comes when u least expect it."  True, but u met u mate while in high school or bumping into each other while at a college party.  I want to hear from somebody RIGHT NOW!   I'm a fan of Autobiographies, and I make no beans about that.  Like we've said, the only problem is it is all after the fact.  When people write when they're going through it at the moment, like memiors...how u spell that junk?...Memoirs or u go into an attic and find one of Grandma's old journals from the 60s, when we encounter that, u get our respect.  Cuz that's authentic as a Prada handbag on Fashion Ave.  Writing afterwards is more like going to Chinatown to find that Prada thang.  U may get the real thing for a bargain, or u may get the old fake-a-roo.  And it takes a real fashionista to know that the diamond points down not up.

What I'm learning, and what has forced me to share a few tears even on today, is the continual process of what u conceive as being excellence without the benefit of knowing what you've done or are doing actually worked.  What's an example?  It's like going to a party...That seems to be on our mind a lot today, but anyway..Well, not just a party.  This is the new year, so to speak, so alot of people are switiching things up.  I'm gonna lose weight, I wanna gain more muscle, no more eating after 1 pm in the afternoon, this year I'm going to wash my car at least once a month, this year when I sit down at a restaurant I'm going to always order the daily special...all these things to live differently or better than before.  I was going to write something else, but an idea just hit us....

But how do you know that the way u've been living wasn't necessarily bad, but just part of the journey, and part of the pre-requisites for success that you had to go through.  It's like in baseball, coming to the plate and striking out time and time again.  Should you hang in there and keep practicing the way you've been taught?  Or should you open up more, be more relaxed and change some of your physical activities and stance to get you in a better position to hit the ball?  That's what's so tough about life...u go into one interview being yourself, being professional as can be, "Yes, sir".  "That's so pleasant to hear." "Yes, Harvard is a tough school, but by the grace of God...".  All this proper talk that people told you u should say and do, but then they hire somebody who just talks like they're on the street corner gabbing about the latest gossip and who they just done did in the back of a truck stop's Port-A-Potty.  Ok.  So then u get another interview with somebody else and u make a promise to yourself, that you're gonna be a real as possible, "What up dude?"..."Gurl....those UGG boots are the bomb....u paid what...I know my homegirl got the hookup right now, after this interview I can dial her up or we can use ur Skype, it don't matter, I'ma hook---u---up!"  Next thing u know it, they telling you they're looking for more of a Carlton Banks type, and your whole psyche is messed up.  Shucky darn if I do, and shucky darn if I don't.  Oh no!  I do sound like Carlton, what's going on with me?   I need help!  Ha!

That's where I'm basically at right now.  U feel like man, I've taken a back seat to a lot of stuff, for the betterment of the group.  We've believed this for a long time that "the person who's most the leader should have the dirtiest pants."  Times u can wonder like, am I the only person who wants this to be fun and cool.  Why do I have to ALWAYS be the one to bring the energy?  Hold it.  Elaborate.

Sometimes the person who's always in the forefront may not actually be the leader of a team or group.  U look at sports and when teams get in the huddle or are in a circle after the starting line-ups and sometimes the one who's getting the troops all riled up isn't the one who actually playing.  But the role is 2 be that glue and energy person.  My thing is sometimes it would be nice if that person sees someone else get as excited about the game or life as they are.  Not just in sports this happens...

In all walks of life, people wonder, "Why I got to be the only one?"  20 people step over a piece of paper at work all da, does anybody care to pick it up, just 2 show a little image of class.  Why I gotta pick it up?  Go to a class in school, where the students think the teacher don't know what he talking about, but the material is a necessity for any of us to graduate, yet nobody wants to participate.  Why do I have to be the only one to raise their hand to at least show or gather some energy within the class?  U work hard 8 days a week, 26 hours a day, and have to clean up the place, cook the dinner, put the kids to sleep, wouldn't it be nice if ur mate or live-in would at least one time be like, "I wanted to pull a switcharoo, and help you out."  C'mon Kelly sing that ish!  That one night can allow that person go on in the norm for another 3 months.  Real talk.  It don't take much.

Forgive me if this is long, but I gotta write.  Break it up if you want, and I'll allow you to now...


Alright.  Thinking about this one some things in our life when we didn't even have a chance to play.  I remember my Senior year in college.  Lots of stuff went on throughout our basketball season, but I recall not playing in a key game.  Throughout the season, even though I was one of the Co-captains of the team, I didn't get the clock that I thought I...deserved.  The time I did get was cool, cuz some of my boyz didn't even play, and I know they had game as well.  Coca and JB what up!  But we had a conference championship game on our home court, that would have given the winner of the game an automatic berth into the NCAA tournament.  Big game for sure.  The game was nip and tuck throughout, but something weird happened in that game...I didn't play.  I DIDN'T PLAY.  Now of course, inside I was shocked, a Senior whose been around since the beginning of our team that won like 6 games my Freshmen year, to now as a Senior we're going on back to back conference championships, that's a heck of a turnaround in a 4-year span.

Our team lost that night.  So after the game, we walk into the locker room, not knowing if our season was truly over with, or if we could still make the NCAA tourney.  I walk into both of my lockers, always remember the real players have two lockers (Wink!), and I'm sitting there with my shirt off Rodman style like, "How could I NOT play in the biggest game in our school's history.  After all the sacrifices of coming off the bench, and keeping our cool for the benefit of the team, and trying to keep everybody together who some wanted to quit, yet 'O Dizzle' didn't play?"  There wasn't a WTF text back then, but if there was Twitter u best believe that woulda been my tweet.  Period.  The mood was kind of sad, and our Coach, whom I still respect and got love for, was sitting down with his head in his hands because we all know what a big chance we had...Even though I was hot about not playing, I just kept saying, "We'll get in....We'll get in." And I said it in a very confident way, just knowing that against all odds, we'll still make it into the tourney.  And although Coach didn't really believe it himself, he gathered himself, and told me later that, "He forgot about me."  And how other people told him after the game how I didn't play and that was one of the things that was missing.  I'm being real here.  Through the hype of the game, even as we were losing the game, there was somebody on the bench that could have brought the energy and been productive to win the game.

This is where I'm at in my life...RIGHT NOW!  The feeling of sacrificing, doing what u know to be right, being at practice on time, showing up wearing a suit and tie, going in with the sun down and coming home with the going down, all these things that would add up to this lifestyle of success and fame, but not enjoying the benefits as of yet.  And wondering when it's just gonna change and I can say, I did it with class now this is the benefit of it.  I could have not wanted to make somebody's day, but I did, now this...I could have asked that girl straight up, "Let's F---", like some people do, but I real and approachable, now this...I kept my lip close when somebody else got hired or at least got an interview even though they are not as qualified as me, I was professional, now this...

I want a now this.

Now.

U reach a point where it really is now or never.  U've sacrificed and now u're asking The One u've been sacrificing in some ways to, "What's Up?".  Sometimes when I watch or more less pass by these reality shows, I'm like, "I know we can have our own show."  And we will, and it will be real.  What I'm about to say is the most real I can be....

In life, u have to do what u gotta do.  Many times even though the destination has been chosen for you, u can't choose the route.  Meaning that just because other family members or ur friends got their dream job, or love of their life, going about it one way.  You CAN'T expect that route to be for you.  And sometimes a road to success and fun may...it's just like someone going up to New York City via I-95.  There may be a road newly built that's just as good, and YOU might be the first one to ride it.  Somebody has to be right?  So as u're travelling, u see that nothing has been built around this road, and u're wondering if I could just see somebody else travelling it, it would help.  But no, YOU'RE the first one to ride this special road, and have to have faith that it would lead to the same destination that others are wanting to go as well.  U can't have fear when it becomes dark, cuz u don't know what awaits you ahead on the journey.  Storms, deer jumping in front of headlights, fog, all those things can deter u from ur journey, but u have to push, because u've come too far to turn back now.  U feel like u're close, and u are.

And once u've met that city of Big Lights and Big Dreams u can exhale knowing that ur road was different.

Ur friends may have made it there quicker,

But ur road, even with the exits being closed and all the threats of going through dangerous terrain, made it more of an adventure.  And perhaps even better.

They tell of how they made it there 'considering all the traffic'.

You say, "it took me awhile, but I had the road all to myself"

They say we've been here for awhile, I'm all partied out.

You say, "considering all I've been through, I'm just beginning and I'm gonna live it up."

They may say, 'I got no money left ."

But u say, "Even though that last toll got me, I know how to travel without any money plus I've been saving for this."

They might laugh like, "You're the last one."

Then u reply, "No, in actuality I'm the first."

That's how u gotta look at this road less traveled.  As a trailblazer.  There is no blueprint. You're setting it right now.  U can take pieces from Mama and Papa, and family....of course.  But as u do, u have to realize that ur road is unique.  And sometimes...(Sigh) the freakin' fire alarm's going off...many times u're going to have to go through things others haven't or will be asked to do.  There road to success is being worked on, and now u have no other choice but to take this exit.

The road of sacrifice.  It's one that can really make u grow.  Really make u learn about urself.  Really make u become who u want to become even unknowingly.  And even though u might be the 1st, u never know who might be following right behind you.  So u want to make sure u have something to tell them.  U wanna be able to say...

"This road ain't for everybody.  Nor should it be.  But once u've ridden on this, u can ride on anything."

I believe that....I believe that...I believe...that.

There's a difference in enjoying life once u've gone through something.  It's like being bed ridden and finally able to dance to ur favorite song.  That's how I feel.  And u should too if u've been "through it".  Cuz now it's through..

And believe u me, I'm about to dance, dance, dance...the day and night away.

We deserved it.  And besides...

This is why we've sacrificed.

C'mon Faith take me out!

Austino Galaxia