1.

One.

One word.

One moment.

One opportunity.

One Love.

One plus.

One.

Hmmm...tonight, we're gonna have some fun here.  Our life is getting crazier it seems by the moment.  So to get u up to speed on life down here in tha land of the beautiful people, we're gonna make this as simple as possible, and used the most simplest number known  to man...or wo-man...the number one.  Something different...Ok, now, here we go...So what's been on our mind...Well....

One Pot.

I was walking tonight here in South Beach, right on Meridian Ave. outside of Flamingo Park and I saw, no joke, I promise you that it looked like this guy was washing his car with a pot full of water.  Is that even possible?  That was our "What tha...(u can fill in tha blank with whatever)" moment...of the hour.  Like, are u kidding me, pouring soap and water over ur car, I promise you I was waiting for a toothbrush to come out, and for my dude to do something straight outta that old TV show "Oz", but man...only in Miami.

One Bird Road.

There's only one Bird Road, literally, and figuratively.  Ok.  The other night I was creeping, or should I say out and about during the late night hours and I saw some gimmicks and stuff that really shows u that the M.I.A.  might be the craziest country inside of the US.  And u did read that right, I did say country!  Alright, so I'm driving along, most of the time in the middle lane, because people were just driving out of control.  I mean like, I don't know if folks were upset that the Intercontinental Hotel didn't have their usual LCD show on the side of the building featuring a dancing girl working out (And u wonder why Miami is party central?!!) , and instead got a poor man's version of Tetris instead...or if guys were still upset about Jodie Foster coming outta the closet, I don't know, but what I do know is that I had one hand on the steering wheel, and the other  under the passenger seat looking for neckbrace kit, just in case I gotta put on an act...I mean, in case somebody hits me.  Yikes!  Please don't use this diary in the court of law.

One story too much.

Alright, Alright, I'm sorry.  Anyways, I'm driving on Bird Road, and I kid u not, and I put this on a stack of Gideon Bibles from the Red Roof Inn...I look to my right, and I see a Chinese Restaurant.  But this wasn't an ordinary buffet, or Mr. Miyagi joint where they get mad at u, when u choose two items from the same group.   'I want fried rice, and wasabi peas'..."NO, THAT'S TWO SIDES! U MUST CHOOSE ONE FROM GROUP A (With the finger indicating one.) AND ONE FROM GROUP B."  'Alright, just give me the fried rice, and a slice of that animal hanging in the window, just make sure it ain't no cat, cuz I don't eat  no puss..' Let me stop....So I look, and it's a freakin' Chinese restaurant with a liquor store inside.  Whah?!!!  So u telling me I can get my Sweet and Sour on, with a 40 ounce of Schlitz Malt liquor.  Down here in Miami, that junk was emptier than tha Monopoly Man's pockets.  Put that joker right in the "Hood" , and it'll be so jumping that Guy Fieri be down there filming for days.  Bulletproof vest is strictly optional...

One leg.

This also got me, and I was caught in a I don't know what to do situation.  Jokes aside.  I was walking...again, and I saw this gentleman on the steps of the Miami Beach Community Church.  I noticed that he had no arms from afar.  Which, kinda touched me already, so I began to get closer, and there was a suitcase on the ground, face up, open, with clothes inside...As I glanced over, the gentleman was trying to pick up a piece of clothing with one foot.  Like a parachute it came up and fell back down.  I dropped the ball on this one.  But I was like, should I help this gent, or would he like resent me for trying to help him get dress.  Tough one.  I continued to walk, and it just hit home a little, no a lot, and I began to think in my head about our life, and how I may can relate to him...I began to think about...

One rejection.

Rejection is tough.  I'm gonna get back into the jokey jokes in a few, but this must be said.  When u feel rejected or brushed aside, or feel like nobody wants you.  (That happens to the sexy and beautiful too), Man...That "Lollipops" for real.  Questions come into ur mind like, "Why?"...I got talk here some, cuz I'm beginning to feel it.  Got some time, so get ur coffee ready, this is going to be an entertaining one.

One breath.

Ok.  Am I the only one who feels like when something u wanted doesn't go ur way, like, Every-freaking-body else around u, is getting what u want?  C'mon let's be real, tonight...U don't get hired for a job that u know was Catwoman "purrr-fect" for you, and while ur measuring out the liquid Nitrogen, say a friend of yours or just somebody talking crazy begins to talk about they just got hired for a new gig, and this and that...Am I lying?

One mo'.

Or after u just had a breakup in a relationship, or not even that.  I've had infinite amount of times where...I forgot my future wifey might be reading this...I've had one or two (Wink, Wink!) times where a girl that I doug like E. Fresh, decided to make the worst decision since Adam took the apple from Eve and not want to be associated with me for some odd reason.  Well, maybe not the worse, I've seen some celebrities going to their mailbox, and well...just because u look good in everything, doesn't mean u look good in everythang my darling!  But that's another day and I'll let Joan Rivers handle that...But as soon as u realize that a friendship or relationship is over.  What do u see?  Folks holding hands...Girls putting their hands in their man's back pocket...I've seen more people make out dead in front of me...more than a few occasions a gal will look at me, and then go all 'slob the knob' style kissing their man to make me jealous, like "I know u want this."  I know I'm not the only one who's experienced all this stuff, and if so, that doesn't make it not true.  Cuz it is.  But those things make u stronger and u realize that when things do fall into place, u're more than ready, and willing to do whatever to make it work.  I just know I ain't the only one these things have happened too...I just know.

One fall after another.

Boy, was my ego bruised the other day.  Sometimes in life u realize that u need to stick to your day job.  I'm sorry, Destiny and Buttercup might be reading this and reppin' 8th street tonight so let me rephrase... Sometimes in life u need to stick to your night job as well...I went roller skating with my homegirl Cynthia.  And boy did I get a Ravishing Rick "Rude Awakening".  Though it wasn't ravishing.  It was my first time, and man...I tried, but I hit the floor so many times.  I think I may have saw some people over in the cove, making bets how many times my booty would hit the floor.  That brings up another story, but I can tell that...One.  I just tried, one time I like...u know in those old cartoons how Goofy would run into a pole or something and his arms and legs would just be parallel with tha ground, like "Bang!"  Then he would slide down the pole.  I had one of those, I was thinking I was going  Rockers and Violaters style just like on the old show, "Rollergames", but I got hit with the Carmen Electra and caught it. And it ain't fun, when u know ur heading straight for the pole, and u wanna get out the way, but u can't get out of the way, and all u can do is think "Oh Boy", like it's the end of ur Quantum Leap episode, cuz it is, and ur about to get tha "Oochie Walley".  All I know is that I just heard a loud, "Ew", and I got a small headache like Pau Gasol the other day.  A true learning experience in how u can't do it all, Austino.  At least not the first time...it'll take some practice and I can get it, just some practice...I felt like this only...

One other time.

Now living down here near the beach, and like five blocks from the sand u almost have to love to swim.  I was a late learner in how to swim, like 9th grade.  Don't laugh!  So here's the story...We had this gym class where u had to learn how to swim, like that was part of the class.  I'm thinking Sea World didn't  ask Shamu The Whale  to walk on dry land before they hired him!  Warner Brothers didn't ask Porky Pig to fly during his interview?!  So why is this dude tripping?!!  For real... I knew the day was coming, and since I had gym last hour, let's just say it was...

One long day.

So I go into class, strip down.  I was still in a chubby state of body, hoping that life eating salads with no dressing would get me in great shape, when in reality all they did was left me in the middle of our living room with cramps in two legs crying and yelling in a falsetto that would have left Miguel give me a standing ovation.  Getting back to swim class, I walk out and I have some of my basketball teammates in the class as well.  My dudes Jarvis Deal and Big Murth were in there, so I just knew this was gonna be like when Beyonce fell off the stage while performing...Em-Bear-Ress-Sing!  I walk around the pool, and see our teacher...Beep it...See Mr. Croll, am I'm like, "I can't swim."  It had the same tone as when a guy tells his date that he didn't bring his wallet.  Like...O-K, what do u want me to do about it.  (That's the Miami doll response...Am I getting myself into trouble 2nite?)  So homedude is basically like, "I don't care, u're getting in."  As I begin to think about life and what it meant to me, all that I was about to miss like Mickey D Shamrock Shakes, and Arby's 5 for $5 deal, I began to get all swagged up.  Thinking about all those old MTV Spring Breaks where guys and girls were in the pool having fun.  How hard could it be?

One silly thought.

"Austin...it's ur turn."  He told me to take the short or shallow end.  I told him again, "I can't swim."  'Ah...just do the best you can.'  I can since J Deal and Murth about to get their giggle on like they watching 10 year old getting his holla on with a Playboy Playmate.  I just took a breath, hoped my Mom and Dad would not sell but keep my Jordan posters in memory of me and jumped in.  Suddenly I was engulfed with water everywhere.  Ain't this supposed to be like 5 feet deep?  The goal was 2 swim end to end.  So I did like this Stinky Leg/Harlem Shake/Lean Back thing, just to survive.  I wish I could've did tha G-Unit "Can't see me" dance move, cuz I really wanted to hide from this moment.  I would go down, come up and somehow I would see with a blur my boys just bugging up laughing...like they just seen the tape of Kat Williams slapping  another Target employee.  Now I'm doing some frog type thing with my legs...And on top of that, I forgot to breath threw my nose, so water is just White Water rushing in me.  Which wasn't bad, cuz it took me two weeks for me to get dehydrated from anything...but....finally, Croll was like, "Ok, u can come out."  That was so crazy, I didn't know what happened.  Dudes still laughing...So embarrassing...so so embarrassing.  I learned how to swim somewhat, but nothing could compare to the first time.  I guess u can say that for a lot of things, huh!

One great book.

Reading this book called, "Soulacoaster" by R.Kelly.  I'll discuss that later.

One craving...Two Cravings...Three.

I can only ima...u though this post was done right, nun-huh!....I can only imagine how I would be if I was a pregnant.  Within the last week, I've been craving for...some KFC chicken with some hot sauce and a piece of bread on the side.  Boy that sound good...Another day I was craving for some straight up yellow cake cupcakes with white frosting and sprinkles...While another day I wanted to have some cereal, like Golden Crisp or something.  I got a problem, I think?  What do u call somebody who craves foods he used to eat like 11 years ago.  It's not fun people.  Waking up in the middle of the night wishing u could have a taco from Rally's along with some biscuits from Hardees' with a  BK King sandwich on the side from Burger King...If u find someone who can help, please tell them to hit me up on...

One cool cell phone.

We said the other day, I got the new Galaxy III.  I'm so busy writing this, that I got to activate this thing.  Whatever.  But...we'll write about that later.  We gotta go.  Let me end with some personal nuggets.

One amazing smile.

One great invite.

One night of rest.

One more night of us.

One post closer.

One night closer.

One dream coming true.

One thanks.

One more, "Have a fun night."

Austino Galaxia.

One and Only.